Things Better Left Unsaid

We either learn by example or by experience the things that are better left unsaid.  For instance, you never ever tell someone (especially a female) that they're fat.  That is going to dig a jagged and deep hole in their heart and one they'll never forget.  You also never, ever tell someone they're ugly...don't even use the word "plain" or the same damage is done.

We seniors know we're near the end of our earthly voyage but no-one with a heart would tell us we're running out of people and running out of time.  We know it but we'd sure recognize that as a slap in the face.  It might not cause emotional pain but certainly a distaste for anyone cold enough to say such a thing.

Never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant because 9 times out of 10 she isn't but by innocently asking her that question she'll hurt for a long time.

Cruel words, even those innocently said, last a lifetime and change the way we see the perpetrator.  Children haven't learned the concept of tact and often blurt out their observations without thought of how they'll be received.  Because they aren't speaking maliciously, we should never fault them, just explain why some words and comments we use can be painful to others.

I still remember nasty comments made to me 70+ years ago and, at the time, was terribly hurt by some of them..as I look back now, they've ceased to matter very much and that's a good thing because it means I've learned to let go.  

Anyway, I guess the point of this blog is to remind myself and others that their cruel words said in anger or ignorance will continue to define us for a very long time, sometimes forever.

Personally, I don't argue but will simply walk away if someone is rude but once in a while it's a loved one who speaks in anger and that's something I can't walk away from but I won't forget it, either.  And my perception of the person will be forever changed.  That is why we should be careful how we talk to people because words are powerful.

I sometimes look back on my life and remember incidences where I spoke ugly words to someone and it makes me ashamed of myself to this day.  I wish I could go back in time and stop myself before I spoke.

Right after 9/11 I was walking into the bank just as a young lady in a hijab was walking out and she smiled as she held the door for me.  My instant reaction was to glare at her and that shames me but I understand why it happened.  I think we were all traumatized by 9/11 and I stupidly equated her with her violent countrymen and placed a silent blame on her for their actions.  That wouldn't happen today and not in the future, either, because I am smart enough to know that it's wrong to hold anyone responsible for the actions of others.  

Yes, words are unbelievably powerful and we all need to realize that they are an indication of how our lives will continue on after we've said something that was better left unsaid.