Being a Woman Who's All Thumbs

I pulled out the lawnmower yesterday to cut the grass/weeds for the first time in a month. Grass/weeds grow very slowly in Florida at this time of the year. The last time I cut the grass the wheel fell off the mower so I now had a new wheel to put on first. I gathered what I thought were the appropriate tools...a few wrench looking things of various sizes...and managed to remove the old screw or nut. I then attached the new wheel with the screw/nut and discovered another screwy thing under the hole that also had to screw into the screw/nut. I couldn't hold onto it properly so the wheel was a bit loose. I left it like that and proceeded to mow the lawn.

Before too long the wheel fell off but now I couldn't find the 2nd screwy thing to attach the wheel to. I looked in the shed where my husband had all kinds of tools and screws but couldn't find anything that looked right. Thankfully a man was not too far away so I traipsed over and told him I needed help. He said "I know you do" and kindly came right over and fixed the mower using completely different tools than I had. He did everything I'd tried to do but he did it right. He didn't gloat but I had the distinct feeling that the tone of his voice was the same one you might use with a dimwitted child.

When I finished mowing the lawn I got out the trusty trimmer to finish the edges neatly and, in short time, the guard fell off. I couldn't even figure out how the damned thing had been attached in the first place so I tossed it away and finished trimming without it. Is it just me or am I working with crappy tools?

Next, I got out my new rope lights which I'd planned to put around the outside edge of the patio. I can't put up regular Xmas lights along the eavestrough because I'm afraid of heights...one step up on the step ladder is all I can handle. I had bought 2 sets of these lights and planned to connect them like their directions said I could. I sat for a while reading these directions and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to connect them...they have some kind of weird apparatus where it might possibly join them. With bare faced shame I gave up and just butted them together and used 2 extension cords at either end to plug in at either end of my trailer.

It's entirely possible that I'm dumb as a doorknob.