Forgiveness

I just read an article in the newspaper about forgiveness. I've always carried a guilt complex about my own inability to easily forgive. Mentally I understand that we must benefit from being able to let go and forgive our tormentors or assailants but emotionally I can't seem to forgive cruelty.

A philosopher named Herbert Marcuse said that "forgiveness condones the crime" and I really have to agree with that. Many things are simply unforgivable and the perpetrators of the crime don't deserve our forgiveness.

On the other hand, the bitterness that you hold against someone who has wronged you is best let go. Allowing it to fester inside of you can ruin your whole attitude on life so, by defusing that anger, you can move on.

It's logical to withhold forgiveness for unforgivable crimes or acts but, by not letting go of the bitterness, you are allowing the person to control your life. I read somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference and it's the indifference that we should strive for when we're unable to forgive. Those we care nothing about have no ability to hurt us.

A friend once told me that she "amputates" people from her life if they contribute nothing but grief and unhappiness. Sound selfish? Well, maybe some of us need to consider our own welfare once in a while.

The older I get the more I treasure the good people around me. I'm drawn to people who are kind and have a good sense of humor because they're the ones who brighten my day. And they make me try to be a better person myself.