Terms of Endearment

I just read a wonderful blog by my sister-in-law, Marilee, in which she mentions all the loving names we give each other. It brought back memories of endearments long past.

My earliest memory was of my grandmother calling me her "big, beautiful doll". That was the only playful name I can lay claim to in my family. I guess they weren't too demonstrative.

My husband would call me "babe" once in a while but I had no special name for him. I lavished it all on my children...sweetie, love, darlin', angel, etc...and then on my grandchildren. The loving names also spilled over onto other children, even ones I didn't know. I guess I felt safe being gushy with children.

I've developed a habit of calling all children "baby" and the younger ones (2-8) resent it. They don't accept it as a term of endearment but as a put-down.

I've never liked being called "dear" because it sounds cold to me. Marilee said that in Newfoundland you are apt to be called "old trout" and I'm horrified! I thanked her for giving me that information before I visit her again. Some kindly Newfoundlander might have gotten a piece of my mind if I wasn't forewarned.

Another term I hate is to be called "young lady" by someone who thinks it's a compliment. I'm not a young lady, I'm a well ripened lady of many years who melts when a gentleman calls me "ma'am".

My husband never cared much what people called him but he nearly ended the life of my daughter's first boyfriend when he popped his pimple faced head in the door on their first date and said "Hi, Pops", to him. He only said it that one time.

It's funny because his daughters often called him "Pops" but it was said with respect. Kim's boyfriend was out of line by using the same term the very first time he met him.

I was called "Patsy" by my family and always hated it. It's just lately that people close to me have begun calling me that and, strangely, I don't mind it now.

I guess an endearment has to be said in the right tone of voice by the right people and at the right time to be acceptable.