Missing Them

Sometimes I get my ideas for a blog from other blogs I read. This is one of them.

Every Christmas I look back in time and think about other years, such as in my childhood when my grandmother would toil all month to prepare Christmas for us. I never fully appreciated how she was able to find the money in her meagre funds to beautifully decorate our little apartment, buy presents for everyone (even friends), and cook a fabulous dinner on a wood stove for her family and friends. There was one old man who always came to dinner and hardly said two words but he had no-where else to go...no family, no other friends.

I remember so many Christmas seasons when my children were small. It was all about them so presents for my husband and me were small and inconsequential. The children would burst into Xmas morning with all the joy and enthusiasm of the very young. I don't think it was greed that fired them but just happiness from all the hype of the season.

Every Christmas season is also filled with sadness for those of our loved ones who have passed away and won't be here with us this year. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago and I was always told we have to experience a full year of special days like birthdays and holidays before we can really accept that they're gone but Xmas is unique. It still seems strange to me to be admiring the beautiful Xmas decorations and socializing with friends when he's somewhere else out there in the universe. Maybe I'll always carry the guilt of the survivor.

The people from my childhood Chrstmas's are mainly gone on to their reward but one is still with me, in my heart anyway. My sister, Sharon, will be spending Christmas this year with two of my daughters back in Canada. Kim (who is recently widowed) and her children, Cindy (who is recently separated) and her children, Sharon and her husband, Jim, will all be together for Christmas day 2007. I am so absolutely thrilled to think of them all spending Xmas together that it makes me cry.

My Christmas this year isn't too shabby, either, because it will be spent in Miami with my daughter, Shelley, and her family. They're back from Argentina and staying in Miami through Xmas before heading up to Washington D.C. and then on to Bolivia in the spring. This is a wonderful opportunity to spend Christmas with them. Not to mention the fact that I'm crazy about her in-laws and the Cuban/salsa Xmas they practice.

In the end, Christmas is about being with family and friends and celebrating our lives together. We won't completely forget our losses over the years but being with the people we love will help us be thankful for what we had and still have.

Family and friends. That's what it's all about.