Absentee Parents

I watched a show on T.V. this morning where a 12 year old boy confronted the mother who abandoned him 9 years ago. He was very articulate in his questions and observations of her but one thing stood out...he resented the fact that she'd abandoned him.

I didn't live with my mother for many of my formative years because she married my stepfather and left me with my grandparents. When she did live with us she was more like an older sister and there was no mother/daughter connection. I never realized until watching that young boy this morning how much I've resented her passive neglect all these years.

The love and attention of your mother and father are what aids you in forming your self worth. If your parents are absent or unattentive then you begin to feel as though you aren't worthy. My father abandoned me before birth and my mother would have allowed me to be adopted if my grandparents hadn't insisted she keep me. This explains a lot about my personality.

My grandparents did want me but they were too old to properly raise a feisty young girl and, at 15, I naturally gravitated toward the first young man who made me feel truly wanted. My guardian angel must have been standing by me because that young man became my husband and the wonderful father of our 3 daughters.

The little boy on today's T.V. show appeared to be very mature for his age and, hopefully, will gain his self respect and self assuredness from himself and not from his neglectful mother.

The secret to being well adjusted is to know that it's important to the people you love that you exist. Your childhood is spent learning your place in the world and learning where you are safe. Your parents are your first and most important teachers and I've often wondered why parenting skills aren't taught in school. After all, what is more important than raising a healthy, happy child?