Spanking

I watched a debate on spanking children as a form of punishment for bad behaviour and thought how my opinion on that subject has changed incredibly since my own children were young. I was a very young parent and didn't have much experience to guide me so I really believed that if you didn't spank your children they'd turn out bad. That was in the late 1950's. Today I firmly believe that physical punishment of a child is terribly wrong and there's no logic in the world that can justify it.

All it takes is to step back and envision a full grown adult beating a helpless little child and anyone can see that this can't be right. It's wrong in all aspects. The child learns fear of his/her loving parent, disrespect for someone so big beating on someone so small, and that physical retaliation is acceptable when you don't get your own way.

Children can easily get on the nerves of an overworked, overtired parent but they simply have to deal with it in a fair and reasonable manner. After all, these children are their responsibility. Unruly children do need to be disciplined but in a calm and no-nonsense way that doesn't include hitting them.

I've accepted that a little whack on the butt isn't going to damage a child's psyche for life but even that isn't really necessary. "Time out" is the most wonderful and effective discipline for children. It gives them quiet time to contemplate their actions and also to understand that there are always consequences for our behaviour. "Time out" also gives the parents some breathing room before they have to have a good talk with the little brat. It's normal for even perfect children to act like brats at times.

One of my girls was a perfect child. Being a mother I wasn't able to brag about her to people the way I now shamelessly brag about my grandchildren but one day I made an exception. Shelley was out in the backyard playing with her cousin, Todd, while his parents visited. I no sooner got the words, "Shelley is such a perfect little girl", out of my mouth when Todd came inside crying that Shelley had just burnt his finger with a match. Fate can be funny, can't it?

I probably spanked her but I shouldn't have.