I'm terribly sensitive about my weight and have really struggled with it for most of my adult life. Looking back to my 20's, 30's, and even 40's, my weight was only slightly out of control but I thought I was enormous. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but my eye saw only flaws.
I could write a book on what we should and shouldn't eat, what we can do to fool our eye, what to avoid, etc., etc., etc. but I'm not going to do that with this blog. I'm just going to document the "eat sensible" journey I began last Friday and let the chips (or the fat) fall where they may. I've said it before, I don't want to be skinny, just comfortable.
There are a couple of ladies here in the park who have recently lost quite a few pounds using the Atkins diet and Weightwatchers. They've been kind enough to organize a group of us for every Friday morning at 9 A.M. to get together, get weighed, and support each other. I like this idea.
Now, for being publicly weighed. I am so deeply sensitive about anyone knowing exactly how much I weigh, I whined and begged these nice ladies to let me attend the group without having them weigh me. I planned to weigh myself privately at home and keep track that way. No-one but an overweight woman knows how intimidating that damned scale is even if you're the only one to see it soar.
Friday morning I weighed myself and felt physically ill. I'd gained 3 pounds since arriving in Florida and that was on top of an already outrageous number...I refuse to mention it.
I ate decently on Friday without starving myself and drank lots of water. On Saturday morning, I'd lost 2 pounds. Whoopee!
I ate sensibly on Saturday but did have a small kid's size fries at lunch. On Sunday morning I'd lost another 4 pounds. I just don't believe it. The 2 pound loss is normal, usually water loss, but the 4 pound loss makes no sense to me. I think the scale is broken.
I think I'll have to gather my inner strengths and allow my friends to weigh me on their good scale next Friday morning. Again, only an overweight woman knows how traumatic this will be for me but it's the only way I can see to make this journey to a slimmer me into some sort of a success.
Tune in tomorrow and follow attempt #10,000 for me to "become comfortable".
3 comments:
I was one of those people nagging you about your eating habits and I'll be one of those people cheering you on. I think havin them weigh you will only help your journey. You have an amazing amount of great friends, they are there to support you. Good luck Momma!
I deeply understand every word - well written Momma! I agree with Kimmy, I believe by opening up any "flaw" to good friends is a healthy step to being "comfortable". You aren't the first or the last person to see whatever number you'll see but remember that it's only a number, no way does it define what a wonderful lady you are!! Love ya!!
I'm crying. How incredibly lucky I am to have my girls, my family, and my friends. I have everything in life to make me happy and I have everything in life to encourage me to shed some of those unwanted pounds. This time in my life has been such an amazing gift.
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