I'm Happy

This may be a common state of mind for many people but it hasn't always been for me. I'm still a little taken aback when the realization dawns on me that I'm very happy and content in my life. I'll never be able to forget the many sad, lonely, and miserable moments in my life and maybe that's for the best because it helps me appreciate these good days.

I don't know how people without good family and friends manage. The thought of being alone and without resources when you're in the depths of depression is unbearable to think about. Caring family and friends can be the balm that carries you through these bad times.

I had lunch with a good friend today and we spoke about how nice it is to have our alone times. Maybe alone times wouldn't be so welcome if we didn't have such a good social life when we choose to participate in it. We both agreed that a nice part of our social life is just hanging out together.

Mary may never know how much it meant to me that she searched me out at the casino to spend some time with me and to have lunch. I love her dearly and she's very much like a sister to me so it warms my heart that she feels the same way, too. I know I'm getting maudlin but it affects me deeply to know that people I love love me back. Now that was a difficult sentence to write grammatically and I still don't know if I got it right.

There has never been long period of time in my adulthood when I was as happy as I am now. I'm not certain why but that's the way it was. It seems as though most of my adulthood was spent being overwhelmed with the status quo but it began to change around my 50's when I was lucky enough to get counseling for my perceived problems. It makes a big difference when you are able to calmly assess any situation rather that make wild assessments. My world expanded once I was able to detach myself from immediacy.

Today I'm happy. My loved ones are safe and most are healthy. I have a bit of food in the fridge and have a list of low cost (occasional high cost) restaurants. I may not have the love of a good man in my life but I do have the love of my wonderful family and my close friends. Damn, I'm lucky!