To Stay or Go

So often in a relationship one becomes so dissatisfied with the arrangement that they want out. I'll bet this happens many times even in the best of marriages but, if the marriage is structurally sound, fences can be mended well enough for the relationship to continue happily.

But sometimes the urge and need to leave is overwhelming. The marriage feels like a miserable trap that you just have to escape from. The atmosphere in the home is stifling when that happens. You might not be able to pinpoint the moment the marriage union is completely severed but you do know that it has and that's when you have to consider all options open for you.

Ann Landers used to say that, before taking the big step to separate, you need to ask yourself, "Am I better off with him/her or without him/her?". We all will have different answers to that question and that's how we should base our decision to stay or go.

An unhappy marriage is a drain on everyone involved. No-one is completely happy and that isn't the way to spend your life, is it? Someone once said that we need to change partners every 10 years because we all mature at different speeds and our needs change a lot in any 10 year span. What satisfied you as a new bride/groom might irritate the hell out of you after 10 or 20 years.

In my lifetime, I've seen many marriages fail but I've also seen some utterly amazing marriages that made me envious. Some of them were second marriages, too, so there is always hope. It's a wonderful thing to have a husband/wife who is also a good friend and companion. But, if all else fails and you end up alone then it might also be better than living out your days uncomfortable in your own home.

It's not an easy decision to make but, whichever way you go, do it with the determination to make your life a better one.