Losing Interest

About this time of year I usually start losing interest in my outdoor plants (I have one indoor plant now and I think it's almost dead) but since this summer I've been sort of disinterested in them. I don't know the last time I watered anything and I've depended on the occasional rainfall to bring them back from the near dead. A lot of my disinterest stems from how horribly hot it was this past summer but some of it might be because I'm tired of being responsible for everything all by myself.

Granted, I'm very fortunate that Nick cuts the lawn for me and I've been lucky enough to find good handymen but it would be nice if I didn't have to arrange everything without the benefit of a husband to take on some of the load. I guess I feel whiney today and maybe a little overburdened because of the skin cancer.

I'm a naturally lazy person so having to deal with every detail of my life alone isn't what I'd want if I had a choice. Dennis took care of so many of the chores that he didn't even bother to discuss them with me and that was perfectly fine. If something broke, I'd just tell him about it and it would magically be fixed the next time I looked at it. Now it just sits there broken until I figure out what to do with it. I used to have unlimited time to look after my outdoor plants but now they seem like one more chore on top of all the others so it was easy to let nature take it's course with them...it would rain if they were meant to live.

I feel a little guilty when I look at some of my deck plants and they appear wilted but then I remember that rain is on the way and they'll be okay. Now I hope the rain won't interfere with my trips to the clinic each day but I can't have everything, can I?