So this is what I've discovered in my 75 years, 9 months, 12 days on earth. The best way to live your own life is to stop caring what others think of you. All through my younger years I needed someone else's approval before I felt I was living right but I found that some people will never, ever give their approval. At some point I realized I was living a decent life worthy of respect, love, and acceptance and it didn't matter whether or not anyone else believed that as long as I did.
We're never really alone unless we create that kind of life so there will always be someone who appreciates you just the way your are and that's a comfort. But you don't need validation from others. What you dearly need is faith that you're doing the best you can and you aren't hurting another to do so.
I have a family that means the world to me and I see love and acceptance in their eyes when they look at me. I'm so happy they value me because what you see is what you get.
When I was a young child, I realized that the choices I made would result in a certain kind of life but I still made mistakes because I was young and foolish. My strongest need was for a stable family life and I wouldn't settle for just any man to share it with. I ended up choosing well even though it didn't end well. But, that's life. For every path we take, there just might be brambles along the roadside instead of streets paved in gold.
During that part of my life, I was not myself. I was forced by society into a role I had to play and it almost destroyed me. When you have depression, you can't form alternate plans to make your life better and that was what happened to me. I tried very hard to be something I wasn't meant to be. I loved being a wife and mother but I also wanted a fun life at the same time. I know this is possible now but I didn't know how to accomplish it at the time. I allowed myself to be stifled because that is what I believed had to happen...it doesn't.
Life should be easier than we tend to make it in our society. Parents shouldn't have to work 20 hours a day to keep up appearances with that half million dollar home, expensive cars, and expensive vacations. Parents and children should be able to live their lives more simply and not feel as though they're missing out on luxuries. That time spent together is the biggest luxury anyone can have. Children should be raised by their parents instead of nannies just because their parents have chosen demanding careers over those children. That is not the "normal" way.
A utopian society would be one where we only worked hard enough to survive and spent the rest of our time enjoying the simple things in life with our children. Love, laughter, and joy would rule our days. I know people who live this way and I admire them. They've chosen life over unnecessary luxuries.
Being an old gal means that society sort of forgets you exist so the demands to perform a role you're not interested in aren't as stringent. Seniors have usually stepped aside from the rat race and, as long as we don't make a nuisance of ourselves, we're free to live our lives as we please. Many have almost forgotten how to be "ourselves" but many do remember and that's when we begin to thrive.
I know I've bounced all over the place with this blog but it was all for one person...Tyson...the one person I know who has always marched to his own drummer. I don't know how he was able to escape the major societal roles imposed on us but he has done it well. I wish I'd known you all my life instead of just being your loving Gramma! You could have taught me how to stay me.
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