On Being Happy

I wasn't always as happy as I am today.  I remember those awful days when I'd wake up with no hope for a pleasant day and I realize now that I didn't even give myself a chance to appreciate what was good in my life.  No matter how bleak your life may seem, there is always something good you can draw from it.

Every morning when you drag yourself out of bed, you make a conscious choice to dwell on the problems or the joy (there are always both present).  I had allowed myself to be overwhelmed with what I couldn't control instead of choosing a different path that would lead me to a happier day.

These days I have a good family life and a few bucks in the bank so there aren't some of the pressures that used to bog me down.  I'm older and not as healthy as I was when I was depressed but I've taken more control of how I'm building my life.  I know I've made better choices because they have been conscious choices, not just fumbling around and hoping happiness would be handed to me.

I choose the path that takes me to where I'll be happy and I reject any path that won't.  Sometimes we don't have many options because tragedies happen all the time but we can choose how we'll deal with the mishaps.  

Consider the poor soul who has to spend every day at a job she/he hates because we do have to support ourselves and our families.  The answer is to re-educate yourself and to never, ever give up searching for a better job.  It might take a long time to happen but opportunities are out there.

And the desperate soul who is in an unhappy marriage and can't leave...make a life for yourself beyond the marriage and that includes education, friends, hobbies, but not infidelity.  One of those things could become your ticket out but they will only benefit you in the meantime.

And, heaven forbid, the death of a loved one.  This is a place that is difficult for me to go because I haven't experienced some of the worse losses you might have in your lifetime.  Cling to your remaining loved ones or good friends who will support you until you're strong enough to support yourself.  There will always be easier days in the future where your pain will lessen and your memories bring a smile to your face.  We know that happens because the human psyche can't tolerate enough emotional pain to kill it and that's why we heal from any tragedy, no matter how severe.

I tell my loved ones that I love them every time I say goodbye because I feel the need to reinforce their knowing just how much I love them.  My personal belief is that our bodies react to receiving the message that we are loved.  We flourish and heal and soar with that knowledge.

I have close friends that I love dearly but I'm a little shy about saying it to them.  Maybe that's a mistake but it's one I can't help at the moment.  Faye, Mary, Donna, Sylvia...I love you, my friends who are like sisters to me!

Boy, I've gotten pretty emotional this morning and all I really wanted to blog about was being happy.  You never know where a train of thought will lead you, though.  Anyway, life is what you make of it...follow the yellow brick road or follow a muddy ditch, it's your choice!