I'm feeling a little sad today for someone I don't even know. He's a friend of my daughter and his mother just passed away. His grief is probably a little stronger than many because he lived with his mother and I'm sure she was a major part of his everyday life.
It got me thinking how no-one really loses their mother when she passes on because half of their DNA comes from her. A child will carry part of their mother with them all of their life.
I never felt a strong attachment to my mother because I was mainly raised by my grandmother and she is the one I bonded with. I see a lot of her in me now. The attachment I feel for my mother is more like one for a sister because she seemed to be on the perimeter of my early life, allowing my grandmother to be the more dominant presence. I hope and do believe my daughters carry the proper attachment to me. I know I've always tried to be a positive influence in their lives even though I failed miserably at times. My impression of my own mother is that she wasn't totally interested in me but maybe she did the best she could.
It's been my belief that daughters find no fault in their fathers but are very critical of their mothers. On the other hand, sons seem to believe their mothers walk on water. Fathers are either feared or revered. I'm generalizing, of course.
If I'm right and there is an afterlife, a loving parent will be all around you in some way forever. It just makes sense to me.
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