Inlaws and Outlaws

I say a lot about how important family is to our wellbeing.  When I was a young girl, I was obnoxious enough to believe I could only tolerate my immediate family because that was where I ate and slept.  How totally ignorant of me to think I was better than them!  I look back now and sort of understand that teenagers often mistakenly feel superior to their parents so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up about how stupidly I behaved.

I also say a lot about how my eyes were opened to the value of good family interaction when I met my husband's family.  Not only was there vast evidence of mutual respect but they all truly liked each other.  I think I fell in love with Dennis' family as much as I did Dennis.

We raised our children the way Dennis was raised...to know that one of the most important things you can achieve in life is close and loving contact with all of your family.  Our children, in turn, have taught those principles to their own children and that makes me happy as a pig in poo.

It isn't what your family can do for you but what you can do to create as much cohesion as possible.  I hadn't thought before how important it is to have and show respect for each other, too.  Not one of your family will have the identical values or lifestyle as you do but you can connect on the major issues.  My deal breakers might be different from others but I expect my family to respect my feelings when it comes to those deal breakers.  

Because I might not want to socialize with someone in our family does not mean I expect the rest of the family to feel the same way but I do believe they should try to understand how and why I feel the way I do...and then let it go and carry on with life.  There is no-one in my family that I can't be civil with even though I might not care for them very much.  That's where manners and decency comes into play.

What is important is that we gain from strong family bonds.  I see that in my children and in my grandchildren.  My greatgrandsons are too young yet for me to know for sure they'll grow to adulthood sharing these same family bonds but it looks promising so far.  They have good family on both sides to learn from.

I am so looking forward this year to a Christmas spent with many, many family members...people I love with all my heart!