Regrets

I don't watch a lot of T.V. but mostly listen to it, looking up occasionally when I think something interesting has come on.  But with the Documentary channel, I tend to watch from beginning to end because they have a lot of fascinating programs.

Today I watched "Regrets", first wondering how interesting it would be and then discovering it truly appealed to my love of psychology.  I saw people with familiar regrets to my own and some with debilitating regrets.  It was interesting to hear how others handled the regrets they've had in their lives and, sadly, how some never could overcome them.

I, of course, have a few minor regrets but none that haunt me.  I think I might have written in a blog how I can't really regret any of the things that happened in my life because every single moment brought me to where I am today...with a family that is more than precious to me and to a comfortable but mediocre lifestyle.  I can't have regrets because I understand that any variation in those moments would have meant my daughters wouldn't exist, therefore my grandchildren and greatgrandchildren wouldn't exist...at least not the ones I have now.  I could never wish them away so, therefore, I can't regret the roads taken.

I choose to look back on my "mistakes" as things that maybe were meant to happen.  I was a pretty dumb teenager when I quit school at 16 thinking I was educated enough.  How laughable now!  But I have continued to educate myself over the years so I never remained stagnant.  Lots of my "mistakes" were caused by ignorance and fear.  I turned down one of the best job offers I could have hoped for because I was afraid I couldn't live up to expectations.  I think now that I would have been darned good at it!

But, if I had taken that job, my life would be completely different now so maybe it was never meant to be.  Each and every moment one lives, they are making choices that will lead to the kind of life they live in the end.  Deep, deep down in my subconscious was a need for security and it had nothing to do with money.  I needed a family and that's what I got.

Regrets, well none that make me want to go back and change things and none that keep me awake at night.  I'm philosophical about life and truly believe I'm where I was supposed to land.