Countdown

In two days I have the MRI that will determine what happens to me and my health in the near future.  I'm getting more nervous about this every day but especially now that the time is so close.  

I check out a few things about pancreatic cysts on the internet once in a while but not too often because it is just too scary.  What I do know is that mine (3.5 cm) is one that is very likely to need surgery even though I believe it's benign.  Even a benign cyst in the pancreas can cause big problems.

So far I have no symptoms...pain or discomfort...but I can't rely on that to go on forever.  At my age I'm still hoping they'll leave me alone and just watch the progression or non-progression but I fear I'm going to be told I have to have surgery.  If it was just the normal pain of surgery I'd have to endure it wouldn't be so bad but pancreatic surgery means removing part or all of the pancreas and that scares me.

Isn't it a shame that we manage to get to a ripe old age only to have some damn cyst cause so much trouble and worry!  There is one surgery that scares me a little less and that's micro surgery where they only go through small slits in your tummy.  It would still involve removing part or all of the pancreas, though.  That would mean taking insulin by needle for the rest of my life but that wouldn't bother me.

Cindy just called to tell me that Dean G. just passed away and I thought how sad it is that even people from my daughter's generation are dying.  Dean is the one who destroyed the basement in my house while trying to renovate it so I haven't been happy with him since then but I would never have wished this on him.  He was a good person with a drinking problem and that's what got him into trouble.

I told Cindy how scared I'm getting and, of course, she told me to stop worrying but that's not so easy.  I've got a lot going on this week...Faye and Donna today for Swedish weaving, regular doctor's appointment for tomorrow, Nash's Gramma/GG day and the MRI on Thursday, and then lunch with Norma on Friday.  Somewhere in there I have to get my hair cut.

I hope everyone I know is keeping their fingers crossed for me!