Lots of Questions

The older I get, the more questions I need answered.  What I've learned to date is that all of the world's problems stem from us human beings.

We have this beautiful planet to live out our lives on and yet we fill it up with garbage.  The simple fact that it takes 450 years for one of our trillions of plastic bottles to decompose tells it all.  Apparently we don't care because we haven't stopped producing and using them.  Most countries of the world are in the midst of civil wars.  We humans can't seem to get along with our neighbors so we fight them and physically destroy our country.

We deliberately and brutally hurt each other...in wars, spousal abuse, child abuse, criminal activity, etc.  Our leaders rob us blind.  We participate in infidelity in around 50% of marriages and yet most claim to love their partners.  The same holds true for those spouses who beat or murder the life partners they claim to love.

Lots of people go to church every Sunday and feel self-righteous  by doing so.  Then they leave the church and carry on with their infidelity, theft, and abuse of others.  The church leaders are no better except they are much worse because the bad ones prey on our children.

Maybe I never noticed it before but it seems like most of us humans make it our mission in life to chase the almighty dollar instead of a decent life.  Our values aren't what they should be.

I was just reminded that our health care system, which won't pay for life saving drugs in some cases, still use our funds to pay for sex change operations.  Like I said, we're our own worst enemies when it comes to following blindly.  Many people will squeal loudly because they don't approve of sex change surgery but those same people will be silent about how their neighbors can't afford the medicines they need.

Our priorities, for the most part, are just to keep our heads above water so we don't bother too much about the struggles of other people.  Empathy is becoming just a word like "tsk tsk!".

Of course there are decent people all around us who do their utmost to live decent and helpful lives but there are very few Mother Theresa's out there.  Human beings are innately greedy and tend to look after their own interests before considering anyone else.

There is no logic in our justice system.  Politicians and judges are bought and sold so often that no-one seems to get fair treatment in the courts.  Prejudices play a huge part in obtaining justice, too.

I guess I'm on a bit of a tear today, not unhappy but just seeing too much that isn't right and not having the ability to make it right.  It doesn't help that I recognize in myself all that is wrong with my fellow man.   

Crock Pot Chili

Crock pot chili is so easy to make and it really is full of iron...kidney beans and ground beef.  I used to make it with ground chicken but now I'm forced to eat more beef to raise my iron levels.  And it even tastes better reheated which is good for me because I'll freeze most of it in dinner sized portions.

I've made this recipe for most of my adult life and even though I use a lot of canned veggies in it, it's still nutritious (I hope).  I usually use one small can of tomato paste along with a larger can of diced tomatoes but I had none so I substituted a can of tomato soup.  There are also 2 cans of dark red kidney beans, a can of mushroom pieces, and a package of chili seasoning.  

I started with 1 lb. of lean ground beef and 1 large onion.  I let these simmer for a while in the slow cooker to brown the ground beef before tossing in all the other ingredients.  I don't like to cook but this is a simple and quick way to supply myself with 6+ meals.  Now I can just let it all simmer away for a few hours and then have a nice hearty lunch.

I saw my family doctor yesterday and, besides the low iron level, all my other innards seem to be working well.  I honestly will make more effort in eating better now that I know I absolutely have to do so.  

Anemia Solution

I did a bit of research and decided that I should try making my soups again but with lentils, chick peas, etc. because they are high in iron.  I really like spinach, too, and it's great added into any soup.  I rarely make a chili, which is also a good source of iron, but plan to do so soon.  I also bought some small salmon steaks which I like poached in milk but haven't bothered to buy in quite a while.  Good planning so far!

I also bought chicken thighs (dark meat is higher in iron than white) to add to my soups.  It seems I just don't want beef so I'll concentrate on more fish for sure.  Having anemia is a bit of a worry for me because I feel pretty good otherwise and it seems a shame to mess with my poor old 79 year old body at this time in my life.

I do make tasty soups.  I've got a mess of spices that I've learned to use so there should be very few chemicals in it, too.  I can't control what the farmers use to grow the produce unless I shop at Goodness Me and that's pretty expensive.  Donna shopped there all the time in order to prolong her life and it didn't help in the end.  I'll have to think about it further before doing my grocery shopping there.

It's just so weird to have little appetite when that has not been the case for most of my life.  Just think how slim I would have been if this had happened 50 years ago.  

Anemic Again

I got my bloodwork done last week and I'm anemic again...this time only down to 114 from a normal of 120 but I don't like the trend.  I definitely have poor eating habits and my appetite is sometimes non-existent.  It's very hard for me to include meat in my diet because it always appears too filling for my liking.

It's a fact that seniors often suffer from low appetites probably because many of us aren't too active.  We're not expending much energy in our daily lives and therefore don't feel very hungry at mealtimes.  I almost have to force myself to eat and, believe me, that wasn't the case up to a couple of years ago.  Then I overate.  Now I only think to eat when I realize I might not have eaten all day.  This isn't good.

I explained to Cindy how I now felt about eating.  Think of just having eaten a full meal and another one is put in front of you.  It's enough to turn your stomach and that's what I'm fighting these days.

I've continued to take the iron supplements and, for a while, was having a protein shake most days but I haven't had any of those shakes in a while.  I get them at Costco and that means I need either one of my daughters or my son-in-law to get them or to take me there because I don't have a membership.  I hate to ask even when I know they don't mind at all.  This fierce independence I have is a godsend in some ways but also a curse.

My new plan is to eat meat first and then add a few veggies with at least one meal a day.  I can't let myself become dangerously anemic the way I was last year.  My hemoglobin dropped to 81 then and I would have needed a blood transfusion if it dropped one point lower.  Whoever would have thought I'd reach a point in my life when I'd lose my appetite?? 

Strange Improvement

The blockage seemed to settle back to how it had been before the tube was inserted but there is a kind of strange improvement.  Even though I can feel the hollowness of the blockage, I seem to be hearing a little bit better than before out of that ear.  I guess any improvement should be celebrated.

Ear Tube

Kim took me to my appointment yesterday to have the tube put in my ear.  It was done at the hospital as an outpatient procedure and didn't take much time at all and wasn't terribly painful.  It also didn't correct the blocked ear.

The doctor and nurse involved in the procedure seemed quite surprised that my hearing didn't immediately improve and, in fact, was even worse for a while.  It did improve slightly overnight but I'm not sure it's any better than it was previous to the tube.

I'm not happy, of course, and just hope my ear will clear in time with the tube inserted to remove the fluid behind the ear drum.  That's all I can do.

Thieves

I couldn't sleep last night, not worrying about anything but my mind kept going back to the difference between people who steal and people who work for what they have.

The 2 men who broke into the garage and damaged 38 vehicles (some from other buildings) and stole what they could find are an enigma to me.  They have no known address which means they can't even afford a home of their own and they sneak through the night stealing instead of working for their living.  They couldn't have gotten much from the cars they damaged and it took a bit of time and work for them to do what they did.  Now they'll spend some time in jail...never enough...for their efforts and 38 car owners will be out thousands of dollars to repair their cars.  It makes no sense to live like these vermin.  When they get out of jail, they'll still have no home and no money in their pockets.  And they'll steal again because that's what they do.

I took my car to be repaired yesterday and it will cost approximately $250.  The thieves also stole the cell phone charger and gum from my car.  Now, isn't that pathetic?  I'm assuming they had a car to load up the stolen stuff and I wonder where they got the car...they sure as hell didn't have any insurance and probably not even a driver's licence.  What losers they are!

One of my friends told me not to let this incident ruin the happiness of the reunion I just attended and it hasn't.  I consider this a nasty blip in an otherwise fairly happy life.  The thieves simply didn't affect me much but I also didn't have tremendous damage done to my car.  The thieves, on the other hand, will go on to live pretty miserable lives because that's the path they chose in life.

I'm sure their lawyers (paid for with our tax dollars) will plead for an easy sentence because their clients had a rough childhood.  Well, crap, so did I and I'm not a criminal.  No matter what our past lives were like, we choose how we want to live out our lives.

Lying awake, I decided that the difference between law abiding citizens and thieves is that we really did choose a cleaner and easier path while the thieves don't mind wallowing in the mud. 

Vandalism

Some young people broke into my apartment building last Monday or Tuesday in the middle of the night and when I was in New Brunswick.  They knew how to get through to the underground parking once inside and damaged and robbed almost every car there.  They broke my driver's side window but there was nothing in the car they wanted.

I was on my way out this afternoon to get some groceries when I saw the damage to my car.  I couldn't clean up all the shattered glass...there was just too much.  I'll have to get a new window put in and also have the car cleaned before I can drive it.  Cost will be over $200 which I'll have to pay myself because I don't want to go through my car insurance.  I'm having venomous thoughts about the assholes who thought they had the right to vandalize other people's property!

One of my neighbors came by as I was trying to clean the car out and told me how many cars were damaged badly enough for their owners to need to rent another vehicle.  She said that some of the tenants had valuable items in their cars which were taken and also handicap cards and remote controls to enter the parking garage.  I was very lucky that only my one window was broken because nothing was taken, not even the remote or handicap card.

This building is mainly tenanted by seniors who can't cope with the work or cost of clean-up as easily as younger folk.  I don't know if the young offenders knew this is a senior building but I bet they wouldn't care any way.  I hope they remember this when they reach old age and feel just a bit of shame for their actions.  In the meantime, they have been caught by police and I'm hoping I get the chance to see them convicted in court.  I called the police today and told them I'm willing to lay charges against the people responsible.  I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to just sit back and forget it happened.  

Restitution and Apologies Are Not Enough

No, I'm not referring to the descendants of people who were slaves 200 years ago.  This is much worse because many of the sufferers of Residential/Training/Reform schools are still alive and able to tell their tales of beatings, torture, rape, and even murder in the case of the deceased children.

My Canadian government (among many countries) took the liberty of taking underage children away from their parents for various reasons and storing them in such a facility.  My Canadian government closed their eyes to the fact that these children were handed over to human monsters who relished the opportunity to use helpless young children any way they chose.  My Canadian government, though not the same governments truly responsible, still choose to ignore the horrors these defenseless children suffered under the auspice of a Canadian government ruling.  The victims who are still alive deserve an apology from whoever is representing the government today and they deserve restitution.

Not all the employees at these child prisons were monsters but almost all turned a blind eye to the abuse.  Anyone who did speak up were ignored by the governing body who did nothing to rescue the children.  These atrocities continued to occur right into the 1980's in Ontario.  Many of those children have gone on to live tortured lives but some have found the strength to inform the public about what happened to them.  We need to know this.  We also need to know the names of the perpetrators.  We desperately need to bring all of this to light so that it might not ever happen again.

I don't believe the descendants of people who suffered slavery 200 years ago should be compensated financially...some won't agree with this but it's how I honestly feel.  I do believe that the people who, as children, were tossed to the wolves in Residential, Training, Reform schools here definitely deserve restitution from the ruling government in Canada.

And, no, I don't believe any amount of restitution can ever make up for what those helpless children suffered in "prisons" operated and sanctioned by our government.  If there is really a hell, I hope the human monsters are already there or on their way!

  

10 Days In Paradise

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of photos to show because my cell phone/camera wasn't working right but this was the best holiday I ever had in my life...mainly because almost all of my offspring were with me.  I drove to the reunion in St. Stephen, New Brunswick with Cindy, Don, and 3 of the best dogs in the world to a gorgeous cottage right on the banks of the Bay of Fundy that we shared with Tyson, Kyle and Tahera, Aeron and Jake with more than enough room for at least 20 people.  Kyle and Tyson brought their dogs, too, and it was wonderful to see all of them well behaved and romping happily in and out of the bay.

The reunion was held at Tammy and Doug's home where they have a huge property also on the Bay of Fundy with room for the 80 or so people who came to the reunion and partied for 3 days.  A few stayed at Tammy's house but most found B&B's or nice motel rooms...some also stayed with family who lived nearby.

Most of my family (including Shelley, John, Lisette, Nicole, and Sam) moved on to travel to Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and the Cabot Trail after the reunion but Tyson stayed on with me.  Kim, Matt, and Kellie had to return home because they had to go to work.

Oh, yes, most of my family came over to the cottage before heading out on the Monday to help me celebrate my 79th birthday, the happiest birthday of my life!

After the gang left, Marilee and Faye moved in with me and Tyson and we had another few days of wonderful weather, fun, shopping, eating, and just plain enjoying the beautiful porch view of the Bay of Fundy and Spoon Island.  Tyson lit bonfires for us every night and we basked in the happiness of good company and even good booze.

I can't mention every wonderful moment but I'll point out a few...seeing my immediate family interact with cousins they love, seeing Shelley and her family that I usually only see when I'm in Florida; watching Nolan and Nash get to know and have fun with their maritime blood relatives they hadn't met before; having Mary who is not a family member any more still feel so comfortable joining the reunion; watching Tammy and Valerie so confident and organized directing all the proceedings; laughing at Don as his dogs (Toby and Murphy) kept running into the water to swim when we were trying to get ready to go out; having all of my children and grandchildren (minus Jake who had to work) all together at once...so many more precious moments but there were also glorious ones that I'll mention.

Spending lots of time with Tyson...I'll always cherish those one on one hours in front of the bonfire, spending lots of alone time with Marilee who I seldom get all to myself...having my morning coffee out on the front porch and watching the Bay of Fundy tide go in and out.   These are the times in our life we oldsters know enough to treasure because they aren't always common in everyone's life.  

And now on a more unhappy but still kind of funny note...Kim, Matt and Kellie had to leave for home right after the reunion because they had to go to work so they packed up and drove to the U.S. border (it's faster and cheaper for gas driving through the States from where we were in New Brunswick to home).  They were held up 3 hours and then refused entry because someone with Matt's name but a slightly different birthdate was wanted on a warrant.  This is pretty scary that they couldn't differentiate between the 2 people...in this case Kim could just drive home through Canada but what if Matt had been on his way to vacation In Florida?  Anyway, they got home much later than expected and Matt had to contact the RCMP to clear his name so he can be allowed into the States.  I know the U.S. has to be careful who they allow in but they also should have the ability to differentiate between 2 people with the same names!

Cindy and Don came back for me on Friday (Shelley and her bunch stopped by on their way to Bangor where they'd fly home).  Cindy, Don, and I left for home Saturday morning and drove right through to get home sometime after 11 P.M.  No matter how much you love your vacation, it's always heaven to get back home and back into your routine.

I really do have one of the best families in the world.