Losing Another

The very worst part of getting old is that you lose the people you grew up with, the people who know you best.  Faye called last night to say that Wayne is getting worse and won't make it much longer.  I don't hurt as much this time because he's been living with the effects of a terrible stroke for a long time and that quality of life isn't worth living.

I didn't get to see Wayne since the stroke and I'm a little glad I didn't because my memories of him will always be of the wild and woolly young man he was back in the day.  Women loved him and he took full advantage of it.  We all have stories of Wayne's antics that would shock a lot of people...but his true nature was one of kindness, gentleness, and common decency.  He was like a brother to me from the beginning (1955 to be exact) when we both attended teen dances.  He's the one who told me his brother, Dennis, got drunk all the time and beat up his girlfriends...none of this was true and I ended up marrying Dennis.

Wayne was so much fun.  He loved to dance, party, and sing.  He loved his family with a passion and my biggest disappointment was when he and Mary divorced.  Mary is still one of my best friends and always will be.

Unlike Donna's passing in July, I'm glad to see Wayne finally leave our world for the next.  The effects of the stroke completely incapacitated him and none of us want to live like that, especially Wayne who lived life to the fullest.

I'm expecting he won't make it through the day but, if he does, I hope he leaves soon...for his sake. 

Update: As of today, October 3, Wayne seems to be hanging in there.  There has to be a reason he's survived this long and I hope it's a worthwhile one because it must be miserable for him.  The life force within us is terribly strong, though, and it could be just that he's not ready to leave yet.

I believe This Strongly

I believe that bullying could be erased completely if more good people would stand up in defense of the person being bullied.

I believe racism could be at least lessened (we can't control the politics or customs of other countries) in this world if the good people confront the racist and tell them their words and actions are cruel and unacceptable in modern society.

I believe the way we treat animals is the way we'll treat people.

I believe that training ourselves to stop and think before acting or reacting would result in more peace of mind.

I believe that kindness can solve all the ills of the world.

Free Speech

I've noticed on Facebook how, among many other issues, the Republicans post some pretty vitriolic stuff about the Democrats.  That's free speech.  What I think is laughable is how the Republicans become so darned angry when anyone dares to post something  nasty about Republicans.  Doesn't free speech go both ways?

I'm vocal about the things I'm passionate about, too, and I try not to rant too often.  I see a lot of posts making fun of or insulting Justin Trudeau but I've never seen anyone who supports him get all up in arms and offended by this.  We just don't take politics as seriously in Canada and that's probably because we're not as blind to our politicians' faults as the Americans are to the faults of their own politicians.  

I have to admit I rolled my eyes but bit my tongue when Mary said she liked Trudeau.

Long Time Employees

Is it just me or do others think that a faithful long time employee of any company who begins to fail in some ways in their present position not be fired but to be given the opportunity for another job in the company?  To my thinking, a long time employee has proven they are an asset to the company even if they are not quite up to par in their present job.  It makes sense to slide them into a less demanding job in the company because they've already proven themselves to be a worthwhile employee.

Some say companies have to consider only the bottom line and that's profit but one of the main ways for a company to become profitable is on the backs of their employees.  It seems terribly cold and selfish of any company to toss out an employee who has, for many years, built it into a profitable enterprise.

Then you need to consider that any long time employee is probably at least middle aged and won't be able to easily find employment that matches their present salary.  For an employer to feel that it isn't their problem is a shame.  Faithfulness and commitment should count for something in any company because that is something that not all of the employees have.  Most employees work for the paycheck and don't give a damn about the company.  That is represented in the quality of their work, too.

It hurts to know of people who have spent their youth working for a company only to be let go when they're older.  In some cases, it will be devastating to their family.  In some cases they will do okay.  And in some cases it will be the best thing that ever happened to them.  In every case, it will be a painful and frightening adjustment that should never have happened at all!



  

Late Nights

There is one good reason you should sow your wild oats before you get married and have children.  During those child raising years, you have little opportunity to stay up half the night because you have to be alert the next day to look after your children.  If you wait until you're old and beyond child raising age, you don't have the stamina to enjoy those late nights doing anything.

I can remember wishing so much for the freedom and fun of an unfettered life in my twenties but it wasn't to be.  I had 3 children by the time I was 23 so party days were over for me for a long time.  Now that I'm an old gal with nothing to slow me down, age has done it for me.  Damn!  

While Mary and then Faye was here, I was up half the night yakking.  At the casino on Tuesday night, I gambled until 1 A.M.  I got back home on Wednesday, had a long nap in the afternoon and then, yesterday, I slept half the day, went to bed early and had a good night sleep.  My poor old body refuses to let me party late and get away with it.  Life can be so darned unfair.

I usually go to bed around 10:30 P.M. and get up quite early but then I do need that afternoon nap to feel good.  That's the way it is and there's no sense trying to roll back the years.  

Gambling Fascination

I love the slots but I also have a strong understanding that I can't afford to lose much money so I don't think there's a chance of me becoming a dangerous gambler.  It's interesting how some people have a total aversion to gambling...they say they work too hard for their money to gamble it away...and some find it exciting.  Some find it so exciting that they gamble away, home, job, and family.

I like the colors, the bells, and the winners around me when I'm at the casino.  I'm always a bit surprised if I win anything but that never lasts long because I'm a true loser at gambling.  The good thing is that I'm very aware that any wins will quickly be followed by losses.

I don't know how gambling can become so addictive to a person that it causes them to lose their mind and not be able to stop.  It's almost as though they can't accept their loss and the hope for a big win to cover their losses rules their thinking.  Luckily, I know that, in the end, my losses will always be much larger than my wins because that has been the historical fact.

Anyway, I like gambling but, unless I become truly senile, it will never rule my life.

Donna's Memorial Service

Mary came in early for Donna's memorial service...she'd planned on coming in on Monday because we're going to the casino on Tuesday.  We had Brent pick us up to drive us to Todd's house where the memorial service was held.  The house was packed with people but most I'd never seen before...probably Todd and Kim's friends.  Of course, our family was there, too.

I was a little nervous about seeing Donna's urn and breaking down but I was just terribly sad.  There are so many memories with Donna over 62 years of my life and I wouldn't give that up for anything.  There will always be that empty spot now but that's life, isn't it?  We're all only here for a limited time, some longer or shorter than others.  That's a very good reason not to waste our limited time being angry or destructive or petty.

My Kim, Brent, Mary, and I went for dinner after the service.  We do spend a lot of time with our families and that is a blessing I never thought I'd come to appreciate when I was young.  My family is what makes my life.  Mary and I stayed up late yakking when we got back home like we always do.  Sunday we lounged around in the morning, did a bit of shopping in the afternoon, had dinner at "Wendys", and then spent the evening yakking.  It's a good life when you're surrounded with good people.

Cindy called me on her way to work this morning to see how the memorial service went (she and Don had been away for the weekend).  She's taken to checking up on me this way because she knows I'm always up early.  I am blessed with wonderful children!

"Sit With"

I'm the kind of person who likes to know who I'm going to sit with.  I am horribly uncomfortable walking into a gathering and not knowing the people there or not knowing where I should sit.  I guess I need to know where I'm welcome.

When Donna was alive (so hard to write those words!), I'd always look for her at any gathering and head straight for her.  That was my comfort zone because I'm not a shmoozer and neither was Donna.  What I mean by shmoozer is a person who likes to tour the floor and stop to talk to everyone.  Faye is a shmoozer but Mary isn't.  I think most of the people I care about are non-shmoozers just like me.

Tomorrow is Donna's memorial service at Todd and Kim's house.  I'm assuming Donna's ashes will be there and that's where I'll go first.  It makes me cry just to think about it so I hope I can hold it together tomorrow.

Gourmet Dinner

Matt made us a gourmet dinner last night to celebrate Kellie's 27th birthday.  It continues to amaze me how so many of my offspring are excellent and creative cooks.  We had a salad that was wrapped in long strands of cucumber instead of using a bowl...so creative.  Then it was followed by very expensive and very delicious steaks, specialty mashed potatoes, and veggies.  It was so good but I couldn't finish it all.  The dessert was home made (by Matt) cheesecake with his own home made topping.  Everything was beautifully plated and Matt even cleaned up the kitchen afterwards.

This was all a lovely treat for Kim, too, who could relax and just enjoy this beautiful meal instead of having to do all the work.

Nick, Bev, and the boys picked me up to take me to dinner because it would be dark going home and I can't see to drive in the dark.  Kim drove me home.  My people take such good care of me that it's humbling at times.

All in all, a lovely late summer day ending with special time spent with family.