Bob

Bob came to our park last year and, because of his strangeness, had a hard time fitting in but this year a few people stepped up and made a place for him.

Personally, I just kept my distance rather than get involved with this quiet and unassuming man because he is rather strange. It was a good thing for him that a few kinder and more accommodating people took an interest in helping him adjust and I admire them for that.

He tried to volunteer for various jobs in the clubhouse but was tactfully shuffled along to clean-up duty where he began to shine. He seemed very happy to be of some service to the park residents and I have to admit it made him appear in a better light to us. He made a few more friends by attending church services, too.

Bob's appearance wasn't very good so a few of the ladies encouraged him by providing him with some new clothes and giving him a haircut. It warmed my heart to hear this story of their kindness but it also made me a little ashamed of myself because it doesn't seem to be in me to have offered this kind of help to him myself.

You know that moment in the Jack Nicholson movie, "As Good As It Gets", where he tells Helen Hunt that she makes him want to be a better man? Well, when I hear of kindnesses like those given to Bob, it makes me want to be a better person, too. I guess I'll be a work in progress until the day I die.

One of the perks of staying in this senior park and getting to know so many people is that I also get to come across a lot of angels, too. They don't think of themselves like that but they really are angels in the way they care for others. When we hear that there are angels among us, it's true. Some of them are friends of mine.

Last Coffee Morning for 2011/2012 Season

These photos do not show a true picture of these people at all...I think the glum expressions are because they had a camera aimed at them. They are all interesting, fun, and terrific people who make my stay at this Florida park each winter such a pleasant one.

This was our last Friday coffee morning for the season and we allowed some husbands to join us. Funny, but most of them were pretty subdued, probably because we ladies are loudly yakky. We added shots of Baileys (actually Michels which tastes the same as Baileys) to our coffee, too.

Charlotte and Mark did their "Patience, Jackass!" routine for us and, to our great pleasure, caught a couple of newbies in the joke. Everyone else had been caught at least once over the years because Mark and Charlotte do the routine every so often.

I really do love these people. Everyone should be lucky enough to have great neighbors like this but to have so many is an amazing blessing. We all come from different backgrounds, different states or provinces, but we've all come together in this Florida senior park to spend our winters.

When coffee time was done, 6 of us ladies climbed into Bonnie's van and went off to "Crispers" for lunch. We spent about an hour eating delicious food and, yes, yakking. With women, there's no end to the topics we can bring up and cover...sometimes two or three times if we feel like it.

Tonight is Bingo and most of us will meet over there, too. Faye and Sylvia left for home yesterday so it will feel a little empty at our table, though. Oh well, all good things come to an end and this season is close to ending for all of us here but next season is already on our minds and in our plans. With luck, we'll all just renew and deepen friendships in the 2012/2013 season.

Lifechanging Moments

We all try to sail smoothly through life, hoping for only the best lifechanging moments...like love, fun, and good times. We don't and shouldn't plan for tragedy but it can come in an instant when we least expect it.

Yesterday I was stopped at a highway stoplight about 3 cars back and happened to look into my rear view mirror. I noticed that a tractor trailer was approaching at full speed in the lane next to me and didn't appear to be slowing down. To my horror, I realized that it really wasn't slowing at all and there was a car stopped at the light in front of it.

Unless the driver of that single car was also looking into their rear view mirror, they would have no idea that their life was close to ending at that moment. Suddenly, the truck driver seemed to come to life, rapidly swung his rig onto the shoulder of the road and away from the car in front of him. The truck swerved dangerously, kicking up dirt and gravel before straightening and barrelling on through the red light.

The gods were with all of us at that moment because no-one was in the cross road, either, so no-one was hurt. I sat there in shock as the truck driver gunned it and disappeared on the highway ahead. A lot of us had been very close to a tragedy in the making that day and it really makes you realize how it can all happen so quickly.

How many of us have sat in a doctor's office waiting to hear whether the results of tests are good or bad? How many of us have been roused out of a peaceful moment by a phone call which changed our lives forever? We're all just a moment away from having to change course and follow a new path that's been set for us.

I do savor life and live it as though each moment is my last. We can't take anything for granted so we do need to relish and be thankful for all that we have. My family is what I love and cherish more than anything else on earth so I have my priorities straight. Nothing else on earth is as important as giving and receiving love from those who matter to you. When and if tragedy strikes your family, it will be the strength of that family bond that will see you through it.

I've noticed throughout my life that most of the life changing moments are for the good, though. And it's exciting to follow that new path because that's what makes life worth living. Sometimes the new path is created by adding a child or in-law to the package and then your world expands. Sometimes a new friend fills a void in your life that you weren't even aware existed.

Life was never meant to be a constant but let's all hope we escape the tragedies and have many, many good changes in our lives.

Locked In

I went into the "Ladies Room" at the restaurant today and dutifully locked myself into the cubicle, wondering again why we women need to lock ourselves in when only other women will be in that room. What are we protecting ourselves against? Do we think no-one will know we're in there having a pee? Do we think that the other women in the room aren't there for the same reason?

We flush the toilet (so that fools no-one as to why we were in there in the first place)...and then we walk out, smile at the strange ladies waiting to lock themselves in as we leave, wash our hands (although no skin has touched anything other than clean toilet paper), and walk out the door. We hear the cubicle doors click and lock as we leave. The strange ladies are now safely locked into their cubicles.

I don't know, I just have always thought there's something a little weird about this behaviour. Maybe it's just me.

Nice

This is the lovely bouquet that my friend, Carol, brought to me yesterday. If I didn't know before, I know now how much pleasure it gives you to just look at a bouquet of fresh flowers. Carnations are my favorite, too.

I'm still feeling kind of punk today and think I'll do some more resting up. I'm a little disappointed that I don't feel the 100% I expected but that's okay. One more day!

On a side note, I read that Dick Cheney is 71 which is my age and I'm a little aghast. I'd always thought of him as a very old man and that's not how I envision myself. You see how distorted our perception of ourselves can be?

Almost Better

I feel surprisingly well, if a little weak from lack of food, considering how sick I was on Thursday, especially. The human body is an amazing thing, isn't it? It's made to combat germs that harm it and the healthier we are the easier it is to fight them off. I happen to have a compromised immune system because of some misshaped white cells and yet I seem to stay fairly healthy.

I was terribly sick on Thursday with this stomach flu, worse than I've ever had it, but could feel strength and health returning yesterday. Today, I feel almost normal with just a bit of low energy that I'm trying to build up by eating small but healthy items in small amounts. I had a banana for breakfast (my usual fare) and then a bowl of oatmeal for lunch today. For supper, I'll have soup or yogurt that my dear friend, Carol, is out buying for me right now.

Being in this senior park means that you are better taken care of than if you were back home. Faye is just across the road and calls in several times a day to see how I am or if she can do anything for me. My other friends call or drop in regularly, too, so I couldn't be better looked after. If I was home, I'd probably be alone until Kim or Cindy finished work and could check on me. I'm sure my neighbors would drop by, too, but not with the regularity my buddies do here. This is one of the reasons I don't worry too much about getting sick this far from home.

Anyway, I'm on the mend and will probably be 100% by tomorrow. I still don't want anyone to get too close but I may go for a drive by myself just to get out of the house.

Tonight will be spent watching crap on T.V. and then early to bed.

Stomach Flu

I went to bed on Wednesday night feeling completely normal but within an hour I had to rush out into the bathroom to throw up. I am not a throw up person but one who will suffer needlessly in order not to throw up. That night I had no option because it was going to happen no matter what I did. Not only that but I also had diarrhea at the same time. This had never happened to me before and it was pretty awful. Was it the flu or food poisoning? Sometimes it's hard to tell but I do think this was the flu.

Faye and Gary had just moved in with me while Adam, Yvonne, Avry, and Sydney had taken over their trailer. Poor Faye was having a middle of the night pee when I burst through the door and threw up in the sink. Faye and Gary moved out quickly so that my germs wouldn't get to them, though. I equated it with rats deserting a sinking ship but Faye is a sweetheart who has checked in on me regularly, done my laundry, and brought me soup and crackers.

The vomiting finally stopped yesterday afternoon but the diarrhea won't let up. I've prohibited anyone from entering my trailer so that I don't infect them. My friends have dropped by and poked their heads through the door every so often to make sure I'm still alive, though, and I feel comforted by their concern.

I feel so much better than I did yesterday. Yesterday I was so darned weak but a lot of my strength has returned today. I've done nothing but sleep and rest which is the best thing to do for your body when it's fighting off germs. Anyway, the worst has passed but I'm going to keep to myself for a couple more days until I'm assured that I won't infect anyone else. I've been very worried about all the hugging and kissing I did the day before I got sick, especially with the babies, Avry and Sydney. I can only hope they didn't catch anything from me.

I don't know who I caught it from but we're always in large groups here in the park so it could be anyone. I also went to the casino on Tuesday so who knows what kind of germs I might have picked up from those machines...you use a mouse with them.

This flu was very violent and that worries me...it wasn't just the icky feeling I've had the few other times I've had it. I felt so awful yesterday that I even considered going to a doctor and I most certainly would have done so if I'd felt as bad today. The older I get, the more fearful I am of illness because we old people just don't fight off germs as easily as young people.

Well, I'm tired again and need to lie down but at least I had the strength to play on the computer for a while. I couldn't have done that yesterday.

A Sick Child

Yesterday a male friend stopped by and said that the reason he's a little late getting down here this year (he usually arrives earlier in March) is because his daughter had a health problem. "She's fine now but she gave us a scare", he said, but his eyes still held a haunted look. We don't stop worrying about our kids just because they become fully grown adults, do we?

My own children have done their best to make me wish, at times, that I'd never had kids. Every little problem they have, whether it be health or otherwise, scars me inside and it will always be that way. I can build a mountain out of a mole hill as quick as you can blink an eye so I often worry myself needlessly.

That said, it can't be any other way. With great love comes tremendous fears of loss. When my niece was dying, her mother told me that she'd gladly give her own life for her daughter and I understood completely. Every mother who loves her child can understand that sentiment. It's not said to grandstand but to express the deepest feelings that are possible for us.

I don't think I have the words to describe the love I feel for my children. When one is ill, I can't stand it until they're well again. It's emotionally draining to try to carry on as if there is nothing to worry about when we all know a serious, if remote, possibility exists. And when the crisis passes, we still worry that something else will come along to worry about.

And that's why I sometimes wish I'd never had kids.

Vigilante

An innocent 17 year old boy lost his life to a vigilante here in Florida last week because he "looked like he was up to no good". The killer was a member of his neighborhood watch and those are the words he used when calling 911. He was advised to back off and wait until police arrived but he took the law into his own hands and accosted the teen, wrestled him down and then shot and killed him as the boy screamed for help. The killer has not been arrested because he claims he felt as though his life was threatened by the teen who was not carrying a weapon and who was visiting relatives just down the street.

If this man is not made accountable for this murder, all hell is going to break out in this country with gun toting vigilantes shooting down anyone they deem to be "looking like they're up to no good".

Allowing this man to get away with the murder of an innocent citizen makes no sense. Putting him back on the streets is like putting a time bomb among an unsuspecting population because this guy could easily go off again. After all, his excuse held up this time.

Groups of hysterical black activists are claiming the killing was racially motivated because the teen was black and that could be the case but the real fear is that it might be a legal alibi here to murder someone/anyone you think "might" be dangerous.

There have been other stories of innocent people shot to death by paranoid gun toters and I'm sure they escaped imprisonment for their crimes but there has to be an end to this now. There are too many people legally carrying guns here in the States and all it takes is a mistaken fear of threat for them to take the law into their own hands.

I hope that the racial aspect of this recent crime doesn't override the more important fact that the killer had no right to lay hands on the boy in the first place. That was the first crime and what followed was criminal over-reaction that resulted in the death of the 17 year old boy.

I can't even say it will be interesting to see what the outcome of all this will be because I'm sure I'll be saddened and disgusted by watching the killer walk free.

Our Red Hatters

I still like to consider myself a Red Hat lady even though I've only managed to attend 2 meetings/luncheons all winter. Vicki, our leader, had to change the monthly meetings to Fridays and that's when I have my coffee mornings which often carry on into the early afternoon. We have so many activities at our park that there's no way to choose a day for your activity without interfering with another activity so I don't blame Vicki one bit. Actually, last year I had to change my coffee mornings from Mondays to Fridays so I understand completely her difficulty in pleasing everyone's availability.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Red Hatters had to have their meeting/luncheon this month scheduled for today, a Monday. Now, normally that wouldn't have suited me either because I usually go to the casino on Monday but this week we're going on Tuesday instead. To shorten this very long commentary, I was then able to don my Red Hat Ladies t-shirt and join 20 terrific ladies for their luncheon at Laings. The food was delicious and the company was excellent. I've really missed this outing even though I see most of these ladies every day anyway. It's the ritual that counts!

And now I'll talk about something that's been disturbing and puzzling me. Why don't restaurants feature beans and weiners on their menus? I haven't had that dish for years, probably since my children were small, but I do think about it every once in a while. I'd planned to take home a few cans of Bush's beans this year but my car problems put an end to that plan. Faye is going to give me a couple of her's when we get home so I'll buy a good package of weiners and put them together for an old time feast. I'll bet my 2 tiny boys would love to share it with me, too.

Life is always good when you surround yourself with good family and friends.

Life

We all have responsibilities in life and sometimes they demand a response that is difficult for us. Gail just got news that her brother is in serious condition back home so she's terminated her vacation time early to go home to be with him. Time with our loved ones is precious and, in times of sudden illness, we often don't get those last few hours on earth with them so haste is necessary.

It's really amazing to think how we take time for granted. We make choices to do other things rather than spend time with the ones we love because we think they'll always be there. We engage in petty spats that mar the relationships, too. In our transient society where travel far and beyond is possible, families become separated quite easily. It's not like our ancient ancestors who spent their entire lives enmeshed in the lives of their families who all lived together or close by.

The distance we've put between ourselves and our loved ones hasn't broken the familial bond, though. Families still come together, no matter the distance needed to travel, during times of trouble or happiness...marriage,birth, illness or death. Family is of utmost importance to most of us and during such times we seem to feel a strong need to be together. This is probably a primal response to knowing that there is strength in numbers.

My generation is the oldest now and we realize that our days are numbered. We carry the knowledge that we are the ones who will probably fall first and we also worry that we'll become a burden to our families. We only hope that when our time comes our families will see that we are kept comfortable and that they'll be there to see us out...not because of social mores but because it's what they feel in their hearts is the thing they want to do.

Illness and death are all a part of life. We humans were never meant to live solitary lives because we need the reassurance of being surrounded by loved ones in order to endure what life hands us. Gail is rushing home to offer her presence and love to her brother because it is what is in her heart. She knows it won't change the course of events but she also knows she will be where she is meant to be. She might not realize it now but this will give her comfort in the long run.

Life is a mystery but I've discovered over my many years that you do best when you follow your instincts. You may not understand the where or why but you'll know you've made the right decisions.

Horrible...Horrible

I've always loved the ugly trees that surround my trailer even though they drop leathered leaves all the time and mess up the patio. One of my friends here once said he didn't like the trees because "things" could fall out of them. I chose to ignore the comment and not ask for details but the words have hung with me for many years.

Well, a nightmare happened on Wednesday night. It was still light out as another male friend was making his way through the trailer lots over to the clubhouse to play Bingo. He passed under quite a few trees along the way and something heavy fell onto his shoulder, slid down his leg and coiled up on the ground. You got it...it was a bloomin' snake!

Now, he thought it was funny but I know that if it had happened to me I would have had a massive heart attack and dropped dead on the spot. We all know that snakes abound here in the warm south but people like me try to pretend they're always far away from us. All I want is for them to stay away from me and out of sight. I don't want to see even a dead one because I know it was once alive and could have come near me if it chose to do so.

The men all tried to play macho and act as though it didn't bother them but most of us women were admittedly terrified. I don't know why we're so afraid of snakes but they scare the beejeezus out of me.

I have 2 prayers right now...one is that my car doesn't break down before it gets Shelley and me home and the other one is that I finish my winter vacation in Florida without hearing about or seeing a snake. Please and Thank You!

I Lost Again

It's hard to believe that I've tried for about 11 years to be the Turd Queen and failed once again. I had 2 chances to dunk the turd and the closest I got was to splat one turd onto the front of the toilet, not in it.

I'm getting closer to winning, though, because this year a lady named Pat is the Turd Queen, unfortunately not this Pat.

Today Is The Day

Today is Turd Toss Day, the day I've been waiting for all season. Today is the day I hope to become the Turd Toss Queen!

Every year we have Turd Toss Day and every year I fail to reach my goal...2 years ago the queen was my friend, Sheila, and last year it was my friend, Joann. Close but no cigars!

The game goes like this...2 toilets are placed in the middle of the street about 30 (?) feet apart and each contestant is given a turd made out of pantyhose filled with wet speghetti. Each contestant stands next to one toilet and hurls the turd hopefully into the distant toilet. The ones who succeed are entered into the turd toss off (unless only one succeeds and then they are crowned Turd Queen or Turd King). It's like sudden death in hockey...the tosses continue until each contestant has an equal shot at the toilet and one who gets the most in wins. All of this is done to wild cheers from the audience which amounts to half the park. Everyone lines the street, sitting in their lawn chairs or golf carts and cheers for every single contestant, maybe louder for their best friends. I booed Sheila and Joann until I was definitely out of the running and then became one of their loudest supporters.

This year I hope to add a new rule to the toss. It's really dumb but we're not given a practice toss before we do one that counts. I want a practice toss so I'll submit the request to our Turd Captain, Mark. He runs the contest and owns the toilets.

A few years ago, I wrote a story about our annual Turd Toss, which I think is hilarious, and submitted it to Reader's Digest. Never heard back from them!

Anyway, I'll post the winner's names later on today or tomorrow and hope that mine is one of them.

There Comes A Time

There comes a time, a moment, when all is clear and you know without a doubt that you must act. Sometimes that moment forces you to do what you don't want to do but you know that placing one foot in front of the other is the right thing to do.

When my husband was dying, I hated every moment of watching him move closer to death but, at the end, I would have gladly snuffed out his life rather than watch him suffer needlessly. He knew the moment, too, because he strongly stated that he was ready to go, as though he'd thought about it for months and knew the time had come. I knew he was only days from death and that his wish would come true quickly but, when I look back, it would have been kinder to have taken his life at that very moment.

But there comes a time to let go, to let go of a beloved child who leaves the nest to begin building their own adult lives; to let go of a lover who has moved on; to let go of plans that you know will never come to fruition. Letting go can be painful but it's also a way of your mind allowing you to carry on with your own life in a new way.

I've "let go" of many, many hopes and dreams in my lifetime but it wasn't the end for me. I built new ones and that's the nice thing about the human spirit...despite setbacks, we can keep on trucking if we just give ourselves half a chance. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means taking a different path.

There will always be that moment when we know that things have changed and we have to act on the change but it can be done. It's either that or we give in to a life of unhappiness. Like a wise person once said, "I choose to be happy.", and that's a philosophy I try to follow.

Freaking Out

I just listened to a recording of a flight attendant who freaked out and began screaming over the intercom during a flight. It must have been terrifying for the passengers but it's also an indication of what lies inside all of us if we don't maintain control.

Anyone who has been under severe stress knows how close to the surface an episode like this can be. The more stress, the more difficult it is for us to behave in a controlled manner. Just watch someone who accidently comes in contact with something they fear (spider, snake, etc.). All personal control flies out the window when our stress level soars beyond our ability to cope.

Every single person you deal with every single day is showing a facade of what they really are inside. We usually behave in a way that presents us the way we want to be viewed but it may be far from the reality of what and who we really are. The transmission man who robbed me of $2000 this year had a big smile on his face but I swear there was evil in his eyes. I believe you can read a person just by looking into their eyes and not being fooled by a phony smile.

My heart goes out to that flight attendant because they must have been going through hell for a long time trying to hide their misery from the world. Something must have happened to crack the facade...like the straw that broke the camel's back...to make them lose control of themselves. Who knows what demons they've been fighting or for how long. And now it's the job of a good psychiatrist to help put those demons back in the box. I wish them luck.

Canadian Healthcare Shame

We Canadians like to look down our noses when it comes to comparing our health care system to that of the United States but today I've been put in my place.

My sister-in-law is gravely ill and has been hospitalized for the past two weeks in New Brunswick. Not only are her doctors divided about what the cause of her illness is...some say cancer while others say it isn't...but tomorrow they're sending her off to another hospital for more tests. They're doing this by having her daughter drive her mother one hour to the other hospital...apparently there isn't an available ambulance in the province to transport this seriously ill woman.

My sister-in-law is jaundiced, in pain, with only the strength to crawl out of bed to the bathroom but our government health services see fit to send her on a one hour car trip which will certainly be an ordeal for her. They'll kindly send her back to her current hospital in an ambulance, though.

In Canada, our personal taxes are very high compared to the U.S. but we accept that much of it goes to ensuring we won't be bankrupted should we need medical care. But what level of care are we expecting, should be expecting? It certainly isn't what I'm seeing for my sister-in-law.

To take a seriously ill woman from her hospital bed and force her to drive in a private car for an hour to another hospital for tests is nothing less than criminal.

Maybe we Canadians are taking too much for granted with our health care system and maybe we should be demanding accountability from hospitals who treat their patients in this way. Over the years I've seen a decrease in efficiency and quality of our health care but I'm truly shocked by this last episode. I'm definitely not blaming the doctors or nurses but I do blame the hospital administrators if they continue to accept public funds when they can't provide decent care. The public is well aware that millions of dollars are being wasted by inept administrators but we're helpless to stop it. How did such a wonderful concept (socialized health care provided for all Canadians) lose it's way?

I have another sister-in-law who practiced law until she retired. Maybe we are seeing a lawsuit in the making.

Tornado

Tornadoes have been causing untold damage to the United States lately and it always makes me wonder what kind of chance a person in a trailer would have if a tornado hit them. If a tornado is powerful enough to level a brick building, just think what it can do to a tin can trailer.

I woke this morning to hear a roar in the wind that sounded somewhat like the train sound you hear with a tornado. I listened carefully as the wind became stronger and stronger until the rain began pelting my little trailer, wondering if it really was a tornado. The wind and rain roared through at a fast pace before heading for parts unknown. It may not have been a tornado but it was a reminder that nature can be gentle or it can be vicious.

I'm thinking now that I was wrong to remain in bed just listening for so long (moments) but should have sprung up and better assessed if I was in danger. Tornadoes don't give a lot of warning and I would have been better able to cope with a severe storm if I was up and ready to move out to safer protection. The only place in this park that could offer any security is the pool room at the library and it's not very big but it is close by.

The wind was very strong last evening as we sat and watched the talent show in the clubhouse and I worried that it might cause a problem with planes landing at the airport. One of my friends was expecting her family to fly in at 10 P.M. and I knew that the storm was approaching. Luckily it held off until this morning so I'm hoping any damage done was minimal.

Marilee's daughter lives in Little Rock, Arkansas and Marilee said it isn't unusual for them to have up to 16 tornadoes come through in a day. How terrifying to live under those conditions! It's true that not all tornadoes are deadly but many are and we should never take chances when given warnings. It seems to me that there have been way too many deadly tornadoes so early this year and I wonder how we'll fare throughout the summer. I wonder if my little tin can trailer will still be here next October when I return south. It's up to nature, I guess.

Intervention

Joann, Barb, and I did a bit of yard saleing this morning and then went to the casino. This isn't our usual day but, since I didn't lose any money when we went earlier in the week, I thought it would be nice to give the casino another chance to rob me. They managed to get $26 out of me today but I was very happy that they didn't take it all. We had fun and that's what counts, though.

Marilee stopped in when I got home and asked if I'd been to the casino and, when I said yes, she said that she and Faye were going to have an intervention for me. I laughed and laughed...but then I wondered if she wasn't kidding. Nah...I love to gamble but I do so in moderation and don't lose as much as I would if I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Tonight we have a baked potato bar with all the fixin's over at the clubhouse...$3 and it's so good that I wish we had it more often. After dinner there is a talent show that should be lots of fun.

I never enjoyed myself this much when I was young. It's a simple life but so empty of stress that I wish I'd lived like this all my life.

Life is good!