Letter to Paul

Paul Miller, that is, who happens to be my member of parliament.

I'm so teed off at Statistics Canada for their gestapo tactics in demanding Canadians answer their damn survey.  Surveys are NOT mandatory, they're voluntary but Statistics Canada is hounding us (about 100 calls to me so far) and threatening us with fines or jail if we don't answer their questions.  What the hell????

So I wrote a letter to Mr. Paul Miller today asking him to do something about this harassment.  I'll write a blog later about whether or not he answers me and whether or not Statistics Canada is above the law.  

Be Proud Of Who You Are

One of my friends who happens to be white has a grandchild of color.  I really hate even expressing skin color like this but it is important for this blog.

Vicki posted a photo of this glorious little boy on Facebook on his first day of kindergarten and worries about him being subjected to meanness and prejudice.  I look at his precious little smiling face, so excited to be starting school and wonder who could say or do something to dampen his spirit...because of his skin color????  It can happen.  Some people have cold hearts and small minds.  I hope his family have explained that there are such evil people in the world but they don't count in the long run.  I hope he has been taught to be proud of himself...I'm sure he has.  I hope this tiny little boy is strong enough and protected enough to withstand whatever is tossed at him by ignorant people who could be cruel enough to demean a child because of his skin color...which is actually very beautiful and I wish mine was as lovely.

We all judge each other and that's natural but shouldn't we concentrate on the character of a person rather than their pigment, religious affiliation, financial status, etc.?  How did we come to associate skin color with value?  We have a long way to go when it comes to logic.

I so hope this sweet, innocent child can draw on the love of his family to keep him strong against the cruelty in this crazy world.

Scams

There have always been scammers, people who will lie and cheat to rob the gullible but we're seeing a lot more of it today.  Maybe that's because it's being reported on the news now.

I love surfing around on Youtube and usually end up somewhere I didn't intend but is interesting and informative.  Yesterday I watched videos of scammers at work...they didn't know they were being taped.  These people have no conscience.  They will say anything in order to get you to send them money under false pretenses and they don't care if it's your last dime.

Many of the scams are old hat now but new ones rise up every day.  It's amazing how anyone can fall for them but enough do to support their industry.  Dr. Phil has interviewed many middle aged (usually) women who are so desperate for love that they send all of their savings and even the proceeds of their homes to men they've never even met in person.  There are older men who get caught up in the same scam, too.

I just made it a habit to respond to no-one I don't know on the phone or internet.  Statistics Canada (maybe) has been hounding me for months to give them information over the phone and I won't do it.  I find it hilarious that they're hounding a little old lady and threatening her.  They tell me it's mandatory for me to answer their questions over the phone but I just tell them no.  I doubt very much they'll throw me in jail but, if they do, it should make great reading in the newspaper.  Maybe I'll write a letter to the editor today!

Never answer questions over the phone, research before replying to a letter or e-mail, NEVER send money!

A Few New Things at 76

I've been noticing a progression of changes in me over the recent years especially, most I don't like.  For instance, this is the second day in a row that I've stayed home...it's too damn hot to be outside and I'm liking the peace and quiet maybe a little too much.

I've also recently developed a slight overlapping of 2 of my toes.  Now this might seem kind of insignificant but I remember very clearly how gnarled and horrible my grandmother's feet were and I'm hoping mine stay at least a little bit cute.

Of course, there's the obvious changes we expect as we grow older...wrinkles, grey hair (I happen to love mine because it has beautiful natural streaks in it), weakness, etc., and I can take all of this with a grain of salt but I often wonder why we have to age at all.  Was this the creator's mistake?

My personality began changing somewhere between 50 and 60.  That's when I "found myself".  I felt I could finally just be myself, warts and all, and people could take me or leave me as I was.  I knew I was an okay person but I've continued to work on my personal opinions, doing inner searching to see why I felt as I did and using logic and research to redirect my beliefs where necessary.  I like the expression, "I'm a work in progress", because it means I'm still improving.

When you're 76, you don't plan too far into the future.  It's easier for you to take one day at a time because you honestly don't have a whole lot of them left.  One of my faults is that I analyze everything.  During quiet times, I consider how fortunate I am to have my loving family and friends.  If that was all I ever had, I had a good life.

Back to my recent changes...I hurt now when I didn't hurt much before.  The worst culprit is my right bicep which was damaged last winter when I lifted the end of the futon.  There's been only minimal relief from the therapy I had but it aches slightly all day and that worsens during the night.  I hate this.  Hopefully, I'll get that cortizone shot before I leave for Florida and, hopefully, it works well.  

I get tired more easily, too.  A little nap in the afternoon is almost a necessity now but, since I usually get up about 6:30  A.M., that's not such a bad thing.  Sometimes I fall asleep without warning and that kind of worries me.  It worries me enough that I don't want to be looking after the babies by myself any more just in case I nod off and they get hurt.  The "nodding off" is definitely an old age symptom.

All in all, I do feel pretty good.  No-one has to like the changes that come with age but we tolerate them because we have no choice.  Me, I count my blessings and try to ignore the damn arm.

2140

I'd be 200 years old in 2140.  I wonder what life would be like then...wish it would have world peace but don't believe it will.

Technology will have reached all time highs and human labor won't exist.  The most valuable human commodity will be their artistic talents, I bet.  Artists, writers, musicians, actors...all can be created with technology but the human factor makes artistry unique.

I assume my progeny will still be around in 2140 but some lines will have died away.  That's too bad but some of my grandchildren aren't producing the way I'd hoped for.  Childless couples are way too common these days.

Would I like to see 2140?  Only through the window of the next dimension.

A Little Too Brainwashed

When I take my greatgrandsons out in the car, they are quite capable of opening the door, climbing into their carseat, and buckling up.  When Kim takes them out, she automatically opens the car door for them.

The other day she omitted opening their doors and just got into the driver's seat herself.  Nolan and Nash were left unsure about this change of routine with her and just stood outside the car.  She heard Nolan say to Nash, "what do we do now?".

Yes, we really are sheep who follow obediently and get a little confused when the routine is changed.

Blessings in Disguise

So often what appears to be a mistake is really a blessing in disguise.  I've seen it happen so many times that I've come to believe that we just might be magically pushed onto certain paths in our lives, paths we probably wouldn't have chosen or known existed.  It's as though we had accidentally strayed off our designated path and had to be redirected.

I always felt that I'd strayed so far and wide from the direction I should have taken that I could never find my way back but here I am, doing what I enjoy (writing) and having the funds to live a relatively comfortable life.  Maybe, no matter which path I'd traveled, this is where I would have ended in my twilight years.

I like to point out how my intuition or ESP has guided me throughout my life.  It only failed me when I stubbornly chose to veer onto what I considered a more interesting path than the one I was on.  Big mistake #1 was when I dropped out of high school.  I was smart enough to have graduated and gone on to university but I was a foolish young girl.

I've drilled into my children and grandchildren (all of whom wouldn't exist if I'd followed what I believed was my properly designated path) that education is a primary requisite for a good life.  Some listened and some didn't.  They're following their own paths!

In the end, I know I was meant to be where I am now so maybe I did choose the right directions all those years past.  When you think of it, I'm very happy and I have family I love dearly.  Don't we all want to end up blessed in this way?

Life is good!

The Way Things Work

I don't know how most things work...I just want to turn them on and have them work.  I guess the reason why I get so frustrated when one of my tools (computer) acts up is because I'm totally lost about how to fix them without asking for help.

This morning the computer mouse wouldn't work so I put in a new battery.  It still wouldn't work.  I fiddled around with the touch screen mouse (?) for a while but it drives me nuts so I removed the new battery from the mouse and blew into it.  I put the old batter back in and damned if it isn't working!

I'm pleased but so confused.  What happened??

Kathy B.

Kathy B. is a friend of mine from 3W, someone I like very much and know darned well probably would never have met if we both hadn't found our way to 3W.  Kathy lives in Indiana and decided to trek across Canada to visit with her Canadian friends.  I'm very proud of her for taking this step because she's never done anything like it in her life.

She arrived at my place, thanks to her GPS, on Thursday and we just settled in and gabbed until suppertime when Kim, Nick, and Bev arrived for a pizza meal.  We yakked away the evening and I kind of worried we were boring Kathy because her previous hosts had truly wined and dined her.

After my family left, Kathy and I yakked until 2 A.M. before heading to bed.  It's been terribly hot and I don't have central air but do have a window air conditioner in the kitchen area.  Fans blow the cooler air down the hall and I really hoped she'd be cool enough in the spare bedroom.  She said she was but she's a very polite and kind lady who would never have complained anyway.

On Friday (we both slept in) I drove through our downtown just to give her an idea of Hamilton and then we drove down to the Williams Cafe on the harbor to meet Janet and Randy for lunch.  I never knew it was there because I don't frequent the harborfront...but I darned well am going to start.  The city had done wonders with our bayfront over the years and it's really lovely.

We ate our lunch outside on the shaded patio, enjoying the fresh bay breeze.  The food was very good and our conversation was great.  Janet and Randy are closer to my daughters' ages than mine but that doesn't stop us from being good friends.

After lunch, Kathy and I boarded an open air tram that took us for a 1 hour ride along the bayfront.  For me it was a revelation because I haven't seen it for a few years and was amazed at how much it has improved from a tourist point of view.  When we got back to our starting point we bought icecream in cups but I managed to slop it down my top anyways.

Kathy had a short nap when we got back to my apartment and I had what seems like only a few second nap before Cindy called to say she'd be at my place right after work.  We did more yakking when she got here and actually didn't leave for supper until after 6 P.M.  Supper was at one of my favorite places (until Williams Cafe) 50's Diner, and had a very nice meal and good conversation.

I should mention that I have a touch of laryngitis which might have come from all this yakking we've been doing!

Kathy and I watched some T.V. (Olympics and, of course, Cops) until 10 P.M. and then went to bed.  Both of us were very tired and had to fight to stay awake until 10 P.M.

We both awoke well rested this morning and managed another bout of good conversation before Kathy had to leave.  She's staying a few days with Dee and had plans for a few more stops but she just got news that her son had a car accident (he's okay) and her sister is in the hospital (could be serious) so she might have to change her travel plans.

I know her stay with me was not near as exciting as it was with our other friends but I hope she enjoyed herself anyway.  She's a good soul and I was very happy to have her here.

We won't see each other until this coming winter at 3W.  I've always said I was blessed to have somehow been directed to our Florida park because I've met so very many exceptionally nice people there.  Maybe it was meant to be!  

My Friend, Kathy B.

If Dennis and I had not happened upon 3W in 1998 I wouldn't know half the wonderful people I do today.  I'm not kidding or exaggerating when I say that our Florida park is filled to overflowing with some of the best people on this earth...and many have become my friends.  

Kathy B. is one of them and she's coming to spend a couple of days with me.  Now, how else but at 3W would I have been able to meet Kathy who lives in Indiana?  We are a true melting pot at the park with a mixture of nationalities and country of origin.  And darned if most everyone gets along without once mentioning the differences in our backgrounds!

On of my friends, Laverne, is a very religious lady from Pennsylvania.  She called me yesterday and mentioned how different we are but how we've connected as good friends on a higher level.  A shared religion or country is not a prerequisite for friendship...similar values are!

Here in Canada, I have a few precious friends but I don't see them every day.  When I'm in Florida, there's hardly a day that goes by that I'm not in contact with my friends there.  Most of us are winter visitors from other states or countries such as Canada so our friends become almost as close as family.

We know we're lucky to have had the opportunity to meet and become friends with great people we might not have found in their home state/province.  This is what doing a bit of travelling does for you.

And now today my sweet friend, Kathy is on her way to my humble apartment.  It won't be as exciting for her because she's spent the last few weeks in very nice company but I hope she feels welcome and comfortable with me.  I'm a worrier so I'm worried about what I can add to her travels...she's been wined, dined, gone to Niagara Falls and the casino by our other friends and we're supposed to get a couple of days of rain here.  My offering will be pizza tonight and good company.  Tomorrow is up for grabs!!    

Validation

As nice as it is to have someone agree with you, I don't need validation for my personal beliefs.  Some are whimsical, some are tenuous, and some are cast in iron.  It's those deeply ingrained beliefs that I don't like anyone to dismiss.  They might not agree with me but it's somehow hurtful to hear someone trounce on them without even hearing the whole story.

When I was up at Joyce and Larry's, I began to tell Linda the story of what I'd witnessed the day Dennis passed away and Larry immediately told me I'd imagined it.  He couldn't open his mind for one second to accept that I definitely had seen what I'd seen.  I guess that's what you call a "closed mind".

I didn't imagine it.  It might not have been what I thought it was (Dennis' soul leaving his dead body) but I definitely saw a mist burst out of Dennis and fill the room.  I've treasured that memory as something I was privileged to see and I'm still hurting from having Larry dismiss it as my imagination.  I wonder why that hurts??

Dennis probably would agree completely with Larry because he, too, didn't believe in life after death but I saw something I'd never seen before or even heard about at the time.  What it was I'm not positive but I damn well did see it.

I think it's bothering me so much because there were times in my childhood I heard those same words when I tried to tell my grandmother I'd heard sounds (probably rats) running inbetween the wall partitions in our apartment.  She'd actually seen a rat in the basement so she knew they were there.  She also dismissed my words when I told her our landlord (lived downstairs from us) was always trying to grab me.  I've grown up being very sensitive to being told I'm only "imagining" what I know is true.

It's hurtful when you're not believed. I do understand Larry's point of view but I will never understand my grandmother not believing me.  

Nothing will take away the memory of what happened when Dennis passed away.  I don't need validation from anyone.  I saw what I saw and that's that.     

When Will They See?

I know a lot of very good Americans who support Donald Trump and I'm wondering just what this crazy man has to do to make them see him as he is.  Now he's said that maybe people who support the second ammendment (gun owners) will take care of Hilary Clinton if she wins the election.  What could he possibly mean by that except he's hoping one of them will shoot her??  I can't believe that it is legal for a candidate in any election to suggest such a thing...but his supporters are still supporting him and saying he meant gun owners will not vote for her.  Bullpoop!  Listen to his words carefully!

This man has scared me from the beginning and made me wonder how so many good people could continue to support him.  Because he pledges to get rid of illegals and Muslim immigration to the U.S., he speaks to many of their fears and demands for change.  But he also shows over and over again how dangerous he is.  No president of the United States can be allowed to speak without filter because words alone can alienate other countries and leaders to the point where the United States could be  drawn into another war.  If all his unfiltered comments did was hurt trade with the countries he offends, that is bad enough.

His latest tirade...suggesting shooting Hilary Clinton...is by far the scariest thing he has said.  He seems to think he can say whatever he wants and not be held accountable for it.  I wonder again when the good people who support him will finally turn their backs on him?  Soon, I hope!

Looking

I wonder why it is that I can't seem to find what I'm looking for.  When I was looking for a chaise lounge for the livingroom, I found quite a few with one arm only.  I wanted 2 arms.  Now that I'm looking for a swivel/glider/rocker, I can only find part of it.  I'm in no hurry but I do want it soon!

My sister-in-law, Joyce, has the perfect swivel/glider/rocker but she bought it many years ago so she can't help me find one now.  Her's is so darned comfortable and that's what I'm craving.  I didn't think I'd need to buy any more furniture after I got the recliner but the recliner is only comfortable when it reclines and not when it's upright.  Donna has an old glider/rocker she'll sell to me but I'm holding out for exactly what I want.

And so today I'll hit a couple of furniture stores while I'm on my way to Kim's.  We have to go to Costco to pick up a few pictures and then go to the little boys' t-ball game.  It's going to be a hot day with the promise of a beautifully warm evening that will be perfect for watching our little guys play ball.

I seem to have arranged my life so that it's full enough to be fun and quiet enough to be comfortable.  Now all I need is that darned swivel/glider/rocker.  

Meditation Class #4

Donna and I attended our 4th meditation class today...Faye had company.  Faye and Wayne did come over to the Senior Center when we finished and had lunch with us, though.

I'm pretty well stuck on using my breathing or a consistent noise to achieve meditation.  We learn different approaches each week but none seem to work for me as well as the breathing.  I half way wondered if I was wasting my time but I accept that what doesn't work for me today might work later on so it's good to learn them.

One of today's lessons was to close our eyes and let our minds wander, allowing any thoughts in and recognizing how they affect our bodies.  I felt it was too broad a subject because my head can travel through many thoughts in moments.  Sometimes I don't even have time to assess how they affect me.  I tend to dismiss any thoughts that start to irritate me and go on to happier thoughts so maybe I'm not a good subject for that particular practice.

Anyway, I do use the breathing meditation a lot, usually when I'm having a bit of trouble falling asleep and it's working well.  It seems to me that I should stick with what works but keep my mind open to other possibilities.

I'm very glad we decided to take this class and we lucked out on a good teacher.  My only complaint is that she's so soft spoken that we old people don't catch every word she says and it could be that we're missing some important ones.  I won't repeat the course but I feel I've learned enough to have made it worth while.

Shadowing

I'd never heard of this before but I guess you don't if you don't know anyone with dementia.  My sister-in-law, Joyce, is in the early stages of dementia and doing pretty good.  She has a fabulous husband, Larry, who sees to her every need and spends his life making sure hers is as good as it can be.  Larry explained "shadowing" as what a dementia patient does to their caregiver.  He said that the caregiver becomes the whole focus of a dementia patient's life and that they are extremely uncomfortable to be away from the caregiver.  He described it as agony, much the same feeling a mother might feel when she doesn't know where her baby is.

I haven't seen Joyce since last year and I could see how her condition had worsened slightly but it gives me hope that her progression will be slow.  Dementia patients progress at different rates, the older they are at onset the slower the rate seems to be.

Joyce is 84 now and still one of the most beautiful ladies I've ever met.  Her skin is virtually unlined.  I always said that Joyce would be beautiful when she was 100 and I was right.

Larry is a young 79 year old, too, and he still works like a horse taking care of their large property, home, and Joyce.  It is a comfort to the whole family to know that our Joyce couldn't be in better hands.  

I'm sure that the "shadowing" can become irritating at times but, if the patient is as loved as Joyce, it's a small price to pay to keep them happy and comfortable.

Not Enough Time

I had my 76th birthday on Friday and, as happy as I am to have made it this far, I'm quite aware that I won't live long enough to see Jake become president of the United States.  He's brilliant, has great values, is cute as a button, and very interested in the politics of his country.  I see him becoming a lawyer first and then making his way to the presidency of the U.S.  Maybe I'm biased but I don't care.

It's fascinating watching your children and then grandchildren make their way in the world but we know we won't be around to witness it all.  There's been a poster going around about how nice it is to see your children become good people and I'm going to have to settle for that.  All of my babies are good people and that won't change throughout their lives, I'm sure.

Most of my grandchildren are with partners who will probably be life partners.  I can't stress how happy that makes me!  It's like having a telescope into the far future and feeling confident they'll be living a lovely life.

There is never enough time in our earthly life to witness it all.  There can be an awful lot of wasted moments we realize could have been used for a higher purpose but I'm thankful for the time I got to be part of my children's, grandchildren's, and greatgrandchildren's lives.  It was the best of times.

Faye is figuring she has 10 years left (I think she has 20) but she's much healthier than I am...no medications and walks a lot.  I'm fairly healthy and think I just might have another 10 years, too, but that won't get me to Jake's inauguration as president of the U.S.  I won't see my little guys even graduate from high school.  That's a fact.  But I'm leaving my progeny with the good people I've traveled my life with and that will have to satisfy me.

As for my older grandchildren, they need to get busy soon because I'm anxious to start shopping for little girl clothes!

   

Memorial

Seniors have to get used to loss because we see so much of it.  If we're in our old age, our friends are also and we begin to lose them on a regular basis to death or dementia.  We learn to tolerate pain and discomfort in our old bones because that is also a fact of life if you live a long one.

Faye, Val, Donna, Frank, and I are going to a memorial service tonight for an old friend who passed away recently.  Well, we are all closer to her husband who we've known for at least 60 years and it's him we want to comfort while showing our respects.  Apparently he's having a hard time dealing with the loss of his wife whom he loved dearly.

I think it must be harder on a widower than a widow because it's usually the wife who "makes the home".  In the case of the last two friends of mine who passed away this year, their husbands spent quite a few years caring for them through their illnesses so their homemaking skills must be honed but it can't be the same home life without their spouse there with them.

I believe widows fare better simply because most of us have so many interests beyond the home while most men aren't overly sociable.  I know I'm generalizing but I think it's close to the truth.

When Dennis passed away, my first impulse was to get our finances in order so I knew where I stood.  I was the one who always handled the money so it was fairly easy for me.  If I had died before Dennis, he would have been lost as to his financial position.  I tried to get him interested but he said, if I died before him, he'd just go to the bank and have them look after him.  And he was a super intelligent man!!

It's really foolish to not have your affairs in order when you're a senior.  It's actually a wise thing to always have your affairs in order no matter how old you are because, when your gone, someone is going to have to pick up the pieces and it's best if those pieces are arranged so as to deal with them easily.

Your children will probably be uneasy asking you personal question about finances or funeral preferences so it's mainly up to you to educate them.  Mine are simple....everything left is split equally between my three daughters and I want to be cremated and my ashes put in a pretty urn and placed in the niche with Dennis' ashes.  Your requests don't have to be complicated but it's important that they be honored.

The memorial tonight will be held at a Jehovah Witness hall and I'm hoping it won't be like a church service.  But the memorial is for Harry and Erika so whatever makes Harry happy is what we, his old friends, will deal with.