Sunday, Sunday

 We're in the midst of that perfect fall weather all of us northerners look forward to every year.  The sun is shining, the air is warm, and the leaves have started to change color.  It's the best time in the year to take a Sunday drive and that's what I'll do today.  Matt and Jackie were supposed to come by today but they forgot about a previous plan so Matt dropped in yesterday with a Tim's coffee for me.  Of all my 8 grandchildren, Matt has turned out to be the one who stays in closest contact with me, calling me when I'm sick, and dropping by just to chat.  It matters!

I ordered 2 pots and a frying pan from Amazon this past week and they arrived on Friday.  I'm thrilled to death with my new turquoise pots!  I don't like ordering from Amazon but it seems like the safest thing to do these days instead of going in to crowded stores.  It's actually a convenience I've come to enjoy because I really don't like shopping in person except for clothes.

It seems we're in the second wave of the virus because our infection numbers are rising quite a bit.  It's going to be pretty bad once the regular flu season hits us, too.  I do hope we'll have a relatively safe vaccine by next year because my time for wintering in Florida is quickly disappearing.  I plan to buy a newer car this year and rent one of the new trailers in the park next year if at all possible.  I really enjoyed that rental this past winter, especially with it's own washer and dryer.

It's kind of strange to plan for the future when you're 80 but I feel good, my mind is still active, and I love being around fun people so why not just keep on going until I can't?  It's lovely spending time with Faye and Mary but we don't see each other often enough and I always have lots of company when I'm in the park in Florida.  Shelley lives close to the park and I get to see her when they're not too busy so it's a win-win situation for me.

But this winter will be one where I hunker down in my sweet little apartment and try to avoid getting COVID.  And then we'll see if the springtime brings us a vaccine and daffodils.   

Friendship

 Faye and I have been meeting for lunch once a week and it's always such an enjoyable time no matter where we choose to eat.  We chose Kelsey's yesterday and the food was good but the service was terribly slow.  No deal breakers, though.

I thought about how long Faye and I have been friends and it's been most of our lives.  There have been times I wanted to strangle her and I'm sure there have been times she'd like to strangle me but we've overcome those passing moments by behaving in a civilized manner.  Words spoken in anger can destroy even the closest relationships so it's always best to step away from an angry situation until you can behave like a decent human being.  

I'm not one to forgive and forget.  I never forgive when someone is cruel to me and I never forget it.  I can get past it but the trust will never be the same.  Faye and I have only had minor differences that never crossed the line of no return and that's the norm for most relationships.  She remains one of the few people in my life that I trust completely.

We're getting so darned old now and it's only a matter of time before one of us is gone but we've had a hell of a good run on fun, laughter, and a loving friendship.  I lucked out having a sister-in-law like Faye.

Did My Best

Like most mothers, I felt I'd done my best to raise my children.  I wasn't perfect by any means, living with depression for a lot of those child raising years but still trying for some semblance of normality, pretending all was okay when I was dying inside but that's what mothers do.  Children don't always see it that way, though.  Sometimes they become critical of us and we have no idea why...but it's usually a combination of the past and present relationship.

Maybe I've become more stubborn in asserting myself and my opinions because I feel free to do so now.  My family would prefer I keep my opinions to myself but I would never put restrictions like that on them.  I very deeply believe in free speech and, if you don't agree with someone, don't disparage their beliefs.  At least half the world will not agree with your opinion on any subject.

There are lines you just don't cross in any relationship, though.  I'm not religious but I would never insult someone who is for believing as they do.  And I would expect the same kind of respect for my personal beliefs in return.  That's being civilized.  The big problem with speaking out of anger is that often there is no turning back.  Connections become broken so easily over cruel words.  Better to bite your tongue and walk away than to make matters worse by trying to explain yourself.

I can look back on my life and feel fairly good about how I've coped.  Yes, I see the mistakes I made and no, none of them were evil.  Like most of us, I've done the best I could and that's all I could do.  

Eye Test

 Yesterday morning Matt and Jackie dropped in for a short visit and Matt brought me a Tim's coffee...he usually does this, bless him.  My sciatica is still calmed down so I didn't need him to take me to a dispensary but I know he will if and when needed.  

Later in the afternoon I drove up to Kim's and she went with me to Costco so I could have my eye test.  I knew I had to have my prescription strengthened but it turned out that it wasn't by very much.  A senior's worry when having their eyes tested is that they might be found to have glaucoma, cataracts, or macular degeneration.  Mine were clear of everything except a trace of cataracts which showed up as a trace many years ago and haven't progressed much so I don't need them removed.  I consider myself to be very lucky.  I also picked out a cute new frame...I haven't had new glasses in 4 years so I'm sure due for a change.

I spent the evening watching "The Blacklist" on Netflix and went to bed kind of early.  It was a nice day overall and I get my spiffy new glasses in 2 weeks.

Changed My Mind

 Since I'm almost back to normal, at least normal for your average 80 year old, I decided to settle for Tylenol for any residual sciatic pain and forego the CBD oil until another flare up.  I'm thankful the option is there but I don't need it right now so I'll take the safer route.

I've been watching an absolutely fascinating series on Netflix called "The Blacklist" which is 7 seasons long so I'll be watching it for months.  I usually shy away from anything to do with blood, gore, and killing but this show has got me hooked.  It's filled with political intrigue and the twists and turns just keep coming before being resolved and then we're on to the next thriller.  I don't know what I did before getting Netflix because there is so little on regular T.V. worth watching.

You can tell it's fall now.  The air is a little cooler and the heat is on in my building.  When I was much younger I hated the onset of the winter months but when I started to spend my winters in Florida that all changed.  I'm going to miss Florida this year for sure but I don't think it will bother me too much staying home...it's the constant grey days here and not the cold that gets to me, though.

Covid is still a concern and the Canada/U.S. border is still closed until some time in October.  Everyone is worried that our infection rate will skyrocket once the border opens because the U.S. has never gotten the virus under any kind of control in most of the states.  We were doing great in Canada until the university students went back to school and ignored the 6' distancing rule.  They've infected each other more than people in the general population, though.  I'm still worried about the young children going back to school and also the teachers.  I'll continue wearing a mask when I go out until the virus has been eradicated or a good vaccine becomes available.

Well, today is a bit cool but sunny and I'll be getting my eyes tested later this afternoon.  I know I'll need a much stronger prescription and possibly bifocals but that's no big deal.  I haven't had new glasses in about 4 years so it will be nice to get something new and pretty.

Life is a journey so choose your path wisely and know yourself.

Stupid Me

 Last week I made a horrible mistake by not researching a company before making an on-line purchase from them.  I'd been having horrible on-going pain from sciatica and was thinking I needed to try CBD oil.  I happened to see an ad on Facebook saying that Mike Holmes (the builder) had a cannabis farm in western Canada and thought foolishly that, since he's a reputable person, I should place an order with him.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be a scam that Mike Holmes was never part of...he doesn't even own a cannabis farm in western Canada or anywhere else.

I discovered my mistake in ordering and being scammed within 10 minutes of giving these people my credit card number.  On-line comments I found said that people had been fooled just like I had been and were experiencing on-going charges for things they never ordered...one lady found she'd been charged $500 by this company without her consent.

And so I contacted Visa's fraud department and the $7.11 the scammers had charged me was removed from my account (they always start out small before placing large charges on your credit card) and I was to receive a new credit card with a different number so I wouldn't be scammed again.  Well, I got my new card and checked it on-line only to find these scammers had managed to insert another charge of $7.18 onto my card just before it was cancelled.  Visa's fraud department is looking into it but I'm sure my piddly loss of $7 won't be high on their prioity list to do much checking.

Warning...never buy on-line without doing your own unbiased research into a company.  Never order from Canabury Farms from western Canada...they actually exist under 2 other names and are located in the Toronto area.  Contact your credit card company immediately if you suspect you've been defrauded.  Oh, yes, I saw a similar ad on Facebook which depicted Brian Baumer (the builder) as owning a cannabis farm in Canada.  SCAM! 

Pain Gone??

 Two days ago I decided to go off the prescription medication for many reasons.  The potential side effects worried me too much and I hate taking drugs in the first place.  I was still in some pain, about half what it was at it's worse, knew I couldn't take Aleve forever but also knew I'd rather take the safer Tylenol to control the pain.

Yesterday, I was almost back to normal with almost no pain but that's the way sciatica works.  It hits you like a hammer and then the nerve settles down for a while.  I just hope that when it does come back it doesn't last 1 1/2 months like this last time.  Anyway, maybe it was the accumulation of the prescription drug that kicked in but maybe it is just the nerve resting for a while.  In the meantime, I'm going to stick to taking a Tylenol if and when it becomes irritated again.  

Matt is taking me to a marijuana dispensary on Saturday and I still plan to go and find out what they have for pain.  Mary told me the name of her CBD oil that works wonders for her and, if I was still in pain, I'd be buying and trying some.  But as long as I can control the pain with Tylenol, that's what I'll do.  If things get worse, I'll know where to go and what to buy for relief.

I've never feared marijuana other than worrying about the young people who use it (not the CBD) constantly.  That has to affect your brain function in the long run.  CBD oil has none of the euphoric properties in it so you don't get high, just relief from pain or medical discomfort.  It's an alternative I'd much rather turn to than prescription drugs with known side effects.

My family doctor is dead against it but Mary's doctor is quite happy she's using it.  Her pharmacist told her it's a wonder drug and I believe that if it's used sensibly.  Prescription drug manufacturers sure don't want us turning away from their unsafe drugs to using marijuana.  Can you imagine how much their profits will suffer?

Life is ever changing, some will be good and some not so good but we have a choice.  Let life defeat us or go on with our lives looking at the bright side.  I love the sunshine.

  

Almost Immobile

 It's so hard for me to believe how hard and how long this sciatic pain has been.  I'm taking a medication for it that has possible really serious side effects so the doctor has me increasing the dosage every 3 days.  Anyone who knows me knows that I detest taking medications because every single one has some kind of side effect.  But I'll continue with the protocol for the time being but I'm not getting much relief from the pain.

My next plan of action is to get medical marijuana in liquid form because Mary B. takes it and she is now pain free.  It worries me that it won't work for everyone and it might not work for me.  Aleve has been the best to dull the pain but it's dangerous to take it for more than 10 days at a time.  I try to take it only when I'm going out such as yesterday when I went grocery shopping.  I could manage as long as I moved slowly and didn't twist my body too much.  Putting groceries in the car was the worst part because it required me to pull grocery bags out of the cart and turn to settle them in the car.  I couldn't wait to get home.

Funny how all of this started on the day of my 80th birthday.  It was like nature telling me I've been here too long with very little pain of any kind so it was time to hurry up the process of making me completely falling apart.

There's nothing I can do about this except follow the doctor's orders and try the CBD (nothing in it to cause a high).  If that doesn't work I'll do my research and find something else to try.  The pain has changed my life completely in that my walking prohibits me from going places freely.  I don't want to live this way so I have to find a solution.

My precious Matt, who hates the idea of marijuana and doesn't use it, is okay with me using medical marijuana so he's doing lots of research and checking the dispensaries to make sure what I use will be safe for me.  I love my boy!

I think this blog could be quite important for people suffering chronic pain because I'll post my journey and share as much information as I can.  The world is filled with people who deal with chronic pain every day of their lives, young and old, and marijuana has been villainized (not sure if this is a word but it fits what I'm saying) for many years until recently when the powers that be had to admit there were healing properties in it.

Another thing I would suggest for anyone with chronic pain is to check youtube to see actual results from others who found relief using CBD.  My only personal experience with it is that my friend, Mary B. had excellent results but my friend, Donna T., got no relief at all.  And so I'll have to find out for myself .

Sciatica, Sinus Infection, and Skip The Dishes

Life has become a pain in the butt...literally.  I'm now taking some drug that stops the sciatic nerve from firing, Aleve to deal with the inflamed nerve, another drug (antibiotic) because the catscan on my plugged ear showed its caused by a sinus infection, and I'm mad at Skip The Dishes.  

The sciatica is seriously affecting my life because I can hardly walk because of the pain in my leg.  I've had sciatica before but it's never affected my leg, just a stabbing pain in the butt cheek, and it only used to last a few days.  I hate taking drugs but without the one to stop the nerve from firing and the Aleve, I can barely walk a few steps.

And then the splugged ear that I've had since getting a terrible cold in December of 2018.  I saw an ear specialist last year and had a tube surgically placed in my ear and that was supposed to clear it.  It didn't and the tube is still in there.  I saw a different ear specialist a few weeks ago who made arrangements for me to have a catscan on my ear and it was found out that I've had a sinus infection all this time so now I'm on an antibiotic.

Probably the episodes that made me even angrier were the ones I had this week with Skip The Dishes.  I placed my order, watched the arrival time, and then went down to the lobby to meet the driver.  The driver never came in, only drove back and forth in front of the building trying to phone me that she was here.  I called Skip The Dishes who told me that, since I didn't take her phone call (it was to my land line up in my apartment) I wouldn't receive either my dinner or a refund.  I blasted them!  I did receive the refund.

Now I have a $20 credit with Skip The Dishes so yesterday I tried again and placed my order and waited patiently by the phone for the delivery person.  No-one called.  I messaged Skip The Dishes and received another credit.  I have that same $20 credit but don't know how the heck to receive my order any more.

It's a good thing I don't let adversities like this ruin my day but I do get very tired when things go illogically wrong...like with Skip The Dishes.  I just think to myself that somehow I'll get it figured out.  As for the drugs, my hope is that I won't have to take them forever but, if I do, I can handle it.

Life can be a pain in the butt at times but there are always good things to offset the bad. 

Sciatica Is Back

 It's hard to believe how badly this sciatica has affected my life.  I literally cannot even walk unless I take at least 1 Aleve and even then it's with great difficulty.  I'm not sure I'll get much satisfaction from my doctor who prescribed me muscle relaxers and suggested I should start using a cane.  Neither of those will relieve the terrible and debilitating pain I'm experiencing in my left leg.  This has hit me like a lightening bolt.

I know it's not healthy for me to keep taking Aleve but I can barely exist without it.  And then there's the possibility the Aleve will stop working, too.  I'm seriously considering trying the marijuana serum that Mary takes because it completely took her back pain away.  I worry I'll be one of the people it won't help, though.

Funny how I reached the age of 80 with almost no arthritis and now I'm beaten down with a sciatic pain that prevents me from walking.  I'll have to give marijuana a try.