A Senior's New Year's Plans

A lot changes as we age...our looks, our expectations, our personal likes and dislikes.  When I was a young woman, New Year's eve meant parties, dancing, drinking, and raucous behaviour.  Tonight I'm happily choosing to spend the early evening playing cards with friends.  Being a psychology enthusiast, I'm trying to decide if this is really what I'd prefer to be doing...and I do believe it is.  We do change a lot as we age but not everyone changes in the same way.  There will be loads of seniors attending our park's New Year's eve party at the clubhouse tonight and I'm sure they'll enjoy themselves muchly!

It seems that I'm gravitating towards more serenity in my life as I age.  Looking forward to an evening where I know we'll yak and laugh for most of it is what I truly want these days.  Maybe it's a time of winding down for me, I don't know, but I live a gentler life than I used to live...as little drama and discord as possible.

I've come to understand that sometimes we do what we think we should be doing instead of what we really prefer to do.  What I definitely don't want to do this 2013 New Year's eve is to sit in a darkened hall which is too noisy to converse with my friends.  Thankfully, I have the option of choosing to do something else that I'll enjoy much more. 

Happy New Year!

Dieting...again!

How many diets have I been on in my life...it seems like thousands and none of them really worked because I didn't learn to change my bad eating habits.  Right now I'm using Sensa and it seems to lessen my appetite, especially inbetween meals.  I don't think it has any bad side effects but we never really know, do we?

Since I'm pre-diabetic, I can't rely on fresh fruit as much as I used to but I've been imbibing in a glass of wine every evening this week.  On top of taking away any residual appetite I might have, it makes me feel pretty mellow, too.  I realized how convenient it is for me to afford a glass of wine nightly while in the States but it won't be so easily affordable when I'm back home in Canada.  I decided not to even think about it because I may not even want it then.  Overweight people are usually flighty, too, and change their habits on a whim.  That's me.

I checked online to see if wine is a deterrent to weight loss and it seems it causes no harm as long as taken in moderation.  Moderation means no more than 2 glasses per day and I only have 1 so I guess I'm safe.

I don't know if this present diet will last or do any good but I'm still willing to stay on it.  The Sensa honestly helps.  I just hope it doesn't cause any unknown damage to my innards!

The "Knockout Game"

Honestly, can there be anything much more cowardly than a group of young men attacking an unsuspecting passer-by and flooring him...or her...with a single punch?  For the life of me, I don't understand why they wouldn't be ashamed of their cowardly act.

One such young man cold cocked a 79 year old man, causing serious physical damage, and he has the nerve to brag about his disgusting and cowardly act?  He's been arrested and will serve jail time so maybe someone a little stronger than him will give him some pay back.  I sincerely hope so!

It's very perplexing to understand why some of our youth are participating in cruel and cowardly games like this.  Have we managed to breed a disturbingly large segment of a generation with no conscience?  How are their parents dealing with it?  How will these young men behave as they grow older?  How safe will their wives and children be around them?

I say this because I believe that if you allow yourself to commit cruel acts for any reason it changes your total perception of life and how you live it.  Once an act is committed, it's easier to re-commit.  If someone deems it acceptable to punch an innocent elderly man to the ground, then that person really can't be trusted to behave humanely for the rest of their lives.

I saw a video taken by a public security camera that showed a young man pass a young woman then turn quickly and cold cock her from behind.  She hit the ground on her face and unconcious.  He ran like a rat.  Cowardly?  Hell, yes!  The question is, how awful must he feel about himself to do such a thing in the first place?  Does he have such low self esteem that hitting a woman from behind gave him some sense of superiority?  Not only are these idiots cowards, they're also pathetic.

I hope those caught playing the "knockout game" are punished well enough that it will become a thing of the past.

  

Today is Coffee Day

I don't know what  spurred me to start having a once a week coffee morning for the park ladies because I'm not the sort of person to push myself on people.  In any case, it's become a really nice part of park life and draws more and more ladies every year.  I think it's a great way for new residents to meet the rest of us, too.

I think it was last year that I changed our meeting time to 10 A.M. instead of 9 A.M. and this was so the air got a chance to warm up and allow us to have our coffee out on the patio.  With so many ladies joining us, it's easier than having to crowd into my little trailer.  We've had up to 24 outside and that number would never have fit into the trailer.

Some of the husbands hear our laughter and remind their wives that is "coffee morning" over here.  LOL!  We do have such a nice time and I know it gets pretty noisy at times...but it's all laughter!

I usually go out for lunch after everyone leaves on Fridays so I invited anyone who'd like to join me to come along.  I guess this will become our new tradition because we had about 8 two weeks ago.  Last week there was a luncheon in the clubhouse so only Sylvia, Barb, and I went out to a restaurant.  This week we're going to "Nothing Fancy" up on HWY 27 and I'm hoping we'll have a nice crowd go with us.

We're all retired ladies with lots of free time and it's so nice that we've reached this age with few enough health problems that we can take it easy and enjoy ourselves.  Lady friends are a pure joy to have...at any age! 

The weather in Florida has been so extra nice that I'm not sure we've had to have coffee morning inside the trailer since I got here this year.  We're expecting rain some time today but the air is warm so we probably will have a lovely morning drinking coffee, yakking, and laughing on the patio.  Life is so damned good!

Xmas 2013

Spending the winter in Florida means I always miss my family at Christmas time and it was no different this year.  The only thing that helps is to know how dreadful the weather is back home compared to the sunny, balmy Florida weather.

Christmas morning alone has become a slightly uncomfortable time for me but it gradually eases away after having Xmas dinner in the clubhouse with over a 100 near and dear friends.  This morning was not so bad and I think it was because I'm taking care of Tank for a few days.  He's a drop dead gorgeous yellow lab with the sweetest personality...but he is stinking up my trailer.  I hope Febreze will clear out the doggy smell after he leaves.

I never heard a peep out of him all night long (I expected he might wander a bit and bump his huge body into things) and, when I got up this morning he was still lying in his bed looking questioningly at me...was I going to feed him or put him out for a pee?  I chose to take him out for a pee.  It was chilly out and I put a jacket on over my nightie, got him attached to the leash outside and told him to hurry up.  He sat down.  He surveyed the scenery.  I nudged him and he strolled into the middle of the lawn and ate some grass.  It was quite a while before he actually peed.  It's a good thing I adore him.

All in all, it's quite understandable why people living alone like to have a pet because they are pleasant company.  Knowing this, I still won't get a dog for myself because I don't want to be tied down to looking after it.  And then, my life is busy enough and full enough to keep me happy without a pet.

But it has been nice having Tank around.

Beggars

I almost never see a beggar in Canada.  Now, this doesn't mean we don't have any, it means in part that the climate doesn't support outdoor begging.  I also like to think that no-one really needs to beg...but maybe my head is in the clouds.

I don't think I've ever seen a beggar in the northern states and that's probably for the same reason I don't see them in Canada.

It is different in Florida where street beggars are seen quite often, usually at intersections where there is lots of car traffic.  Yesterday I saw my very first family of beggars and it was very disconcerting because I really do hope there can be no reason for it.  We'd gone to Walmart and were returning home with a carload of mostly groceries when we spotted a man holding a sign at an intersection that said he was out of work.  Next to him sat his wife and 3 children, one of whom was in a stroller.  Could this really be the truth and they had no food or shelter?  I don't believe it because I don't want to believe it.  It's the same as learning that families are living in their cars...I can't allow myself to belief this too is happening and that they really have no resources.  Are there not social programs in effect that give everyone in need food and shelter?

I've assumed that the routine of needing social services if you had no money meant that they would immediately find you somewhere to live and I know that there are food pantries (which sometimes run out of food).  I also know that some beggars are not in need at all but out for easy money (street kids and at least one very well off woman from back home).  It's very troubling to think that little family is sleeping out in the field somewhere without food...but I can't honestly believe that happening.  Am I blind to the truth?  But wouldn't the parents turn their children over to social services rather than let them starve?  I've never heard of anyone in the States or Canada actually starving to death because they were broke.

Logic tells me that this is a scam but uncertainty keeps me wondering. 

Bad Lady

I had an interesting but upsetting experience yesterday.  Joann, Barb, Louise, and I went to our internet casinos and I, for one, did pretty good...+$17 for the day.  The upsetting experience happened at one of our casinos when I left my machine (with about $30 in it) to go to the washroom.  You have to know that this is a tiny casino with about a dozen people in it at the time.  I didn't log out because I felt it was obvious that I was still using the machine...a game was up and there was the money still in it.

When I came back from the washroom, there was a lady sitting at my machine and playing on my money!  I went up to her and asked what she was doing and she replied that she was playing on her own money and claimed there was no money in it when she began.  I asked her if she'd logged me out and she said I was already logged out so I asked her if she'd logged in her own number.  She was very defensive when it became obvious that she was playing on my money.  I have to assume she didn't realize I'd only gone to the washroom but had left the building with $30 fiddling dollars still in the machine!  I don't know why she didn't just admit it and apologize but she wouldn't.

The manager of the casino came over to settle the dispute and saw that I was still logged in to that machine when he checked his equipment so he asked her to pay up and he'd match her dollar for dollar.  She agreed, paid her money and stormed out of the casino.  What a creep!!

It's possible she thought I was just some old lady who didn't understand how the machines worked but she was wrong.  It really bothered me that she was so adamant in her lie but I learned a lesson...don't trust anyone except the ones you know are honest.   

Freedom of Speech

Phil Robertson (of "Duck Dynasty) has lost his show on A & E because he stated his personal belief that he felt homosexuality was wrong.  Heaven forbid that anyone should dare make a disparaging remark about gays or you can lose your job!  A & E gleefully airs disgusting (in my estimation) programs like "Sister Wives" but fires a man who lives a clean and productive life and believes in his bible.

I know people who are very happy with A & E's decision because it reflects their own beliefs but they've truly missed the point.  Where would the gay movement be today if not for our so-called freedom of speech?  It was freedom of speech that allowed gay rights to flourish as it has...and rightfully so but freedom of speech is not for gay supporters only.  It is for everyone, no matter what their belief system is.

Phil Robertson never said he wanted gays to be harmed or discriminated in any way but his own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong and he, the same as gays, has the right to his opinion and doesn't deserve to lose his job over it.

Postscript:  Oh boy, I screwed up when I wrote this blog without knowing the full facts.  Phil Robertson said a whole lot more than "homosexuality is wrong".  He blasted out hatred and ignorance the likes not heard from any intelligent human being in a long, long time.  Once I read further about his ghastly comments on homosexuality and blacks, I realized I'd been jumping on the wrong bandwagon.  He is a nasty, nasty man and A&E didn't need to fire him...he lost most of his audience by exposing himself as the ignorant bigot he is.  

I need to get my facts straight before I blog a rant again. 

Drunk Driving Manslaughter

When I read the 10 year probation sentence given to a 16 year old young man for drunk driving that resulted in four deaths I felt shock and deep sympathy for all involved...even for the driver who will learn nothing from getting off so lightly.  The judge in this case is despicable and unworthy of his job.

The reason for such a light sentence that took the lives of four people...the boy was spoiled by his wealthy parents.  He's never been disciplined or had to take responsibility for his mistakes and now the judge has perpetuated his belief that he can get away with anything he chooses to do.

I'm not saying a sixteen year old boy should spend the rest of his life in jail but surely the consequences of drunk driving manslaughter should reflect the horrible results of the boy's actions.  Jail time should be mandatory, at least until he's 21.  This boy is living in a dream world and he will definitely go on to do more damage to society because a ten year probation sentence is no more than a slap on the wrist.  I wonder what the sentence would have been if he'd been a poor black boy?

No, justice is far from fair but this time it's done irreparable harm to the sixteen year old boy who will go through life feeling that driving drunk and killing four innocent people isn't a really bad thing. 

Poignant Memory

Sometimes we think we're sailing through life and thoroughly enjoying the trip, not missing the lifestyle of our youth.  Then a picture or a thought hits you hard and you feel a distinct loss for what once was.  I had a moment like this today.

Since I've been coming to Florida for the winter, my Christmas celebrations have changed drastically.  I rarely decorate but might hang a wreath on the door as my only concession to the holiday.  I truly love our Christmas dinner at the clubhouse which is always filled with happy friends.  I thought I didn't miss the crazy, busy Christmas traditions I followed when my children were young...but I was wrong.

I was watching something on T.V. and the scene of a livingroom with decorated tree came on the screen.  Now, I see such scenes all the time and it never affects me but this one did.  For just a moment I remembered clearly the Christmas mornings when my children would be gleefully gathered around the tree opening their presents and I almost cried with regret that those days are gone forever.  That precious time in my life has come and gone and will never be experienced again.

Other good and happy moments will take their place but those days were golden.  I think I knew it at the time and I'm so lucky to have experienced them at all.  There will always be special days in your life but some will take your breath away with their exquisite importance.  Christmas mornings with my babies were that special. 

Leveling

Dr. Phil comes out with some of the most interesting concepts and he taught me something important today.  When a person feels inadequate, they either work hard to raise themselves up or else they run others down to what they consider their own low level.  That is called "leveling" and we've all experienced it at some time in our lives...either we were the ones leveling up or the ones being battered.

In recent years I've found myself reacting to inconsiderate or deliberately rude people in an entirely different way than I did when I was younger.  These days my impatience with such people quickly fades away to pity for them instead.  Mean and cruel people are very unhappy in their own skin and that's why they act the way they do.  Now, I may understand why they're acting horribly and feel sorry for them but I also have no time for them in my life, either.  If I was a better person I'd try to help them become a better person, too, but I just have no interest in trying to rehabilitate anyone.  As far as I'm concerned, if they're not on my love list, they can sink or swim.  It's their choice.

Just having someone take a moment of their life to be genuinely pleasant to us can make our day.  It's a reminder that we can step out of our own problems and be nice if we choose.  If we choose to wallow in our own misery and take it out on others, our misery will only deepen.  You can choose to be happy and, if you're happy, a caring for others will pour out of you.  It's a win/win situation.

Soooo...choose to "level" up!

Sleeping Engineer

In a recent train accident which resulted in 4 (I think) deaths, we're now hearing that the man driving the train was asleep.  His union is using this as an acceptable excuse for the man who was in charge of the train and the protection of his passengers.  They say he didn't have a good sleep the night before coming on duty.  This is not an acceptable excuse!  It's negligence.  If he wasn't capable of performing the duties of his job he should have booked off and stayed home. 

We seem to have developed into a society where the union protects employees who are negligent in their jobs.  I feel sympathy for this man because I'm sure he's suffering guilt but the people who lost their lives and the loved ones of the victims have suffered much more.

It's become so darned refreshing to hear someone take responsibility for their mistakes...we all make mistakes from time to time...but it's a blot on humanity when someone who is blatantly at fault hides behind their lawyers or unions.

For his own sake, I hope this man can accept his fault, fess up to it, and then take the punishment for his actions.

Xmas Presents

There's no question that I love the Xmas season but it's more for the turkey dinners than the presents.  I do miss being with the little ones when they open their presents, though.

I started wondering how we all got conned into buying everyone we know presents for Xmas.  When you think of it, it doesn't make much sense to pay good money for something we don't know for sure the recipient will want or even like.  It would make more sense if we took that Xmas money and bought something lovely for ourselves and then everyone would be happy.

My husband and I had devolved into buying something for the house as our joint Xmas present and it sort of lost a lot of meaning for us.  I still insisted on a little something under the tree and we took our chances that it would be something we each kind of wanted.  Still, it is fun watching the small munchkins so joyful as they tear open their Xmas presents.

I've further devolved into giving Kim and Cindy gift certificates and then having Kim include me in whatever she buys for Nolan and Nash.  Because I'm in Florida, Shelley's family usually gets a proper gift...but I'm sure it's always something they could easily do without.  Sigh!

But gift giving among adults really is idiotic when the concept is put into perspective.  I'd much rather buy something nice for myself than have someone else buy me something I'm not crazy about.  Unchristmasy but true.