Danger in the Dominican Republic

This morning I reposted an article on Facebook regarding a brutal attack on a female visitor.  I strongly believe in issuing warnings about dangerous places where we might think we're completely safe but we're not.  My Cindy made a comment that no-one wants to see this on Facebook...she called me "mother" instead of "momma" so I knew she wasn't happy with me.

Personally, I don't like seeing all the political arguing on Facebook but I usually ignore it.  On the other hand, if passing on a warning of danger in any form upsets you, don't read my page!  A few of my own relatives have been vacationing in the DR recently and one even went off on her own for a while.  That was so terribly dangerous not only in the DR but pretty much anywhere these days.  I think tourists are an easy prey for these monsters because most can't stay away from home too long and criminal investigations and trials take a very long time if they're done at all.

There were complaints recently about people receiving amber alerts (missing children) on their cell phones in the middle of the night.  Big friggin' deal!  If that alert saves one child's life it's worth having your sleep disturbed for a moment.

I always think back to the case of a young woman who believed it was her right to be able to jog late at night but she ended up raped and murdered.  Yes, it is our right to be out in the dark and naked if that's what we want to do but that right doesn't stop the monsters from taking advantage of the dark and the seclusion of their prey.

And so this "mother" will always continue to post warnings when I think it just might save a life or injury to the unexpected victim.  Criminals look carefully for a vantage point where they can attack and they don't give a rat's behind about your right to be where you are.

Mortality

I'm feeling my mortality this morning mainly because Donna is back in the hospital.  She needs heart surgery but it can't be done before the infection in her foot has been healed.  It's such a helpless feeling for me and it must be totally frustrating for her because there's nothing to do but wait until the doctors make their moves.

I still don't worry about death but i'm becoming more aware that it's getting closer for me and I think it should worry me.  Who knows what comes after but I have high hopes that it's something wonderful.  I analyze it all the time trying to imagine what is the most logical sequence but, again, who knows?

I just hate it when one of my loved ones is ill and I know that the older we get the less strength we have to fight off the damned illness.  It doesn't seem to matter if we live to be 100 (that's not in my plans), we'd prefer to go out feeling good.  There used to be a joke going around that said a person died with a smile on their face while having sex but I bet that rarely happens.  I'd prefer to pass away with the same angelic smile I saw on my friend, Lou's, face a few days before she passed away.  She was ready.

Anyway, I may be feeling a little nostalgic for the young and healthy days when we rarely thought about death but I'm not unhappy, just maybe dwelling on it more than I should.  Today is Kim's 61st birthday and what I'm feeling most is how lucky I am to have brought her into this world.  I love her more than words can express and I hope she can still feel that love after I'm gone.  Like energy, the feeling of love will outlive all of us.

Cornell Graduation

I'll put some photos in here later but right now I'll just boast about the wonderful weekend that Shelley arranged for us.  Nicole is a brilliant young lady who was hired by Locheed before she even graduated from college with her BA.  She's such a valued employee that her company paid for her to get her Masters at Cornell University (they did the same for Sam).

Her graduation ceremony was this past weekend and Shelley rented a gorgeous house right on the finger lakes of New York State (around Ithica) for her, John, Nicole, Sam, Lisette, Danny, Carmen, Juan, Aeron, and me.  Aeron and I drove down together...loved every second of my time with her!

We got to the stadium just in time to hear Bill Nye the science guy give a fun and educational speech.  We all thought the full ceremony would be on Sunday so most of us (thankfully Shelley, John, Nicole and Sam went back for what they thought would be just a little get-together) decided to just go back to the house for the evening.  Nicole came home with a medal and it turned out that the full graduation ceremony had been that evening so we missed it.  Nicole was in tears but I think we made her realize we were all there to celebrate her success and the ceremony wasn't that important to us (it kind of was but she was so upset).

Carmen, Juan, Aeron, and I had gone to one of the wineries up the road from the house for pizza and beer (water for me).  Then Juan and Aeron went grocery shopping for a the few things we'd need at the house.  There was a lot of just great conversation with some of the family I love and I never felt it was a wasted trip.  

On Sunday morning we all went back to the university...it is massive!  The streets were filled with grads of every kind and their families.  It just made you proud of all of them to have accomplished what they had with their young lives and you knew the whole world was open for them in the future.

We toured around a bit but Carmen has COPD and gets winded easily and I have my broken toe so we couldn't venture far on foot.  Many of the roads were closed off because of ongoing ceremonies so we just stayed around the church where Nicole had her ceremony the evening before.  She acted out a  fake one so we could see how she had looked.  She is such a clown, always going for the laugh and not worrying one bit about contorting her absolutely beautiful face.  This reminds me of Lucille Ball who was an extremely beautiful woman but who didn't care how she looked when she made people laugh.

Aeron and I left for home from the university but the rest of them went back to the rental for one more day.  What a joyful trip!  

I don't see Aeron near as often as I'd like and it's never one-on- one time.  The drive down took about 5 hours and then another 5 hours back home so it was wonderful time for me and I hope for Aeron, too.

I know I brag a lot about our family and extended family but we really are blessed to have such good people in our lives.  I thank the fates that brought me these people I love so much.

True Story

A group of women friends go for a "girl's weekend" every year at this time and it's such a wonderful tradition that I'm so happy they keep going.  Girlfriends are indispensable in a woman's life because they fulfill a purpose that not even the most loved husband can fill.

Anyway, their weekend is comprised of great food, great fun, and, unfortunately, sometimes too much great booze.  Now, being a little tipsy often brings out the worst in people and it somehow brings out the song in one of the lady's hearts (name withheld but it starts with K).  I've been told that the party usually ends long before 11 P.M. when they have to quiet down but apparently this last one went on until 1 A.M. when "K" thought it would be a fine idea to go out on the porch and sing at the top of her lungs.  "K" has one of the worst off key voices in the world (she takes after her mother) and the neighbors didn't like it and called the cops to complain about the wild and noisy party going on.

When the cops arrived, they were greeted by a whole slew of middle aged ladies sitting around the table just talking.  Apparently "K" had quieted down.  What was so funny was what the cop said when he walked in..."Now this is something I hadn't expected!"  I guess wild and noisy late night parties usually consist of teens or young people and not sweet middle aged ladies.

I love this story and it will go down in the archives of the "girls' weekend".  

Trailer Rental

My friend, Dee, sent me a photo of the new trailers being installed at the park and one could be the one I'll be renting.  I am thrilled to head down there after Christmas and know there should be nothing I have to fix!  I'm also thrilled to death that there will be a washer and dryer in the rental.  Who would have thought so much joy could come from having my own washer and dryer??  Oh, and the cute little front porch will be perfect for sitting out there and having my morning coffee!

I'm not even sad that this might be my last winter at the park...depending on my health.  I consider myself very lucky to have been able to spend so many winters there and to have met so many wonderful people who have become good friends.  I guess I'm fatalistic in that I understand there is a time and a season for everything in life and, when one ends, something good can still come your way.

When I sold my house, I walked away very happy to start the next phase of my life in my cute little apartment and I've never regretted the move.  It was time and I knew it.

Selling the trailer in Florida was exactly the same.  I've loved the winters I spent there but it was time to move on.  I'm sure I'm going to enjoy the rental next winter whether it's for just one winter more or if I'll be able to squeeze 2 more out of this phase of my life.  Either way, it's time.

I think we always know when something has ended but we don't always act on it for one reason or another.  Sometimes ending it is too hard to endure and I understand that but I truly believe I hit it right with selling the house and the trailer.  No regrets!

Stigma of Menstruation?

As I was driving over to Cindy's yesterday, I heard a strange interview on the radio.  The person being interviewed was a lady who is seriously involved in removing the "stigma of menstruation" from our society.  I thought it was a joke at first but it went on for a long time explaining that this worldwide movement was becoming stronger and quite involved with corporate support.  I was amazed, confused, and wondered just how much of our tax dollars had been given to this group.

Now, I'm a female who has been on this earth for 78+ years and spent many of them menstruating but never once felt that there was any stigma attached to it.  I hated the inconvenience but accepted it as a part of life no different than having to urinate.

It wasn't until I got back home that I did my research and found that the most important aspect of this movement had not been discussed fully in the interview and that was why feminine hygiene products are taxed but Viagra is not!  Aha!

This I understand.  There is no stigma to menstruating just as there is no stigma to being fertile and of childbearing age but it certainly is unfair to have products associated with menstruation taxed while a product like Viagra is not.  By spending too much energy trying to change society's views on menstrual spillage and the fact that females changing gender to males will still menstruate (yes, she kept bringing that up), the most important fact of unfair taxation on a necessary product was just about overlooked.

I agree completely that products like sanitary pads and tampons are a necessary part of a woman's life and should not be taxed.  Viagra, on the other hand, is actually recreational and should be taxed.  But, please, a worldwide movement to remove the "stigma" of menstruation is going a bit far.       

Guardian Angels

I have a guardian angel named Michael.  He's actually sexually ambiguous but does carry a male name so I refer to him as a he.  Describing him is odd because he resembles my cousin Ricky who committed suicide in his twenties but he's one cousin I was never close to.  Nevertheless, Michael has been my guardian angel for quite a long time..don't know where the heck he was when I stubbed/broke my toe last week!

We all need guardian angels and I know darned well I'm not the only one who has put myself in some very dangerous situations over the years but mainly when I was young.

When I was about 13 or 14 I decided it would fun to run away to Toronto.  This is why you don't allow children of that age to make important decisions!  I had no money or even a suitcase packed and had no idea how I'd support myself in Toronto of all places but I do remember thinking it sounded like fun.  I didn't want to go alone so I asked my girlfriend to go with me.  My guardian angel made her say no so I didn't go.

When I was even younger (8 or 9), one of my favorite pastimes was to play chicken with cars passing by.  It was fun until a lady driver stopped her car, got out and shook me in anger.  I never had any parental guidance so I was free to make all the stupid choices that I did.That lady probably saved my life but I think it might have been Michael in disguise.

In my early teens, my friends and I hitchhiked a lot.  We never were hurt but sometimes scared at how close we'd come.  We even got into a car with a drunk driver who ended up wiping out in a snow bank.  Teens really do need supervision instead of having to rely on their guardian angels!

I married very young at 17 to a good man who had many faults that I was positive I'd be able to change.  You are really, really dumb at 17!  It was meant to be, though, because we had 3 wonderful daughters who went forth and multiplied giving us 8 grandchildren and 2 greatgrandchildren.

Michael saved my life many times over the years but I still rely on my own instincts now that I'm grown up.  Micheal just hung in there to make sure I got the chance to grow up.

I'm joking about having a guardian angel, of course, but maybe not.  It's comforting to know someone has your back when your brain isn't taking care of you.  

Stubbed Toe

I've kind of forgotten the pain of childbirth but I don't think it hurt quite as badly as stubbing your toe.  I got up to pee in the middle of the night and sleepily walked my baby toe and side of my foot right into the wall as I was going back to bed.  All I can say is that it was a good that it's a good thing I was leaving the bathroom instead of entering it!

The pain of a stubbed toe is so excruciating that it almost qualifies for an ambulance and paramedics for the first 30 seconds.  The only good thing is that you are very aware of the pain subsiding when it gradually goes away.  Mine hasn't completely gone as of now but I think I don't need an ambulance or paramedics.  It's a little hard to walk on the foot and I have to do some shopping for yarn and plants today.  Nothing much would keep me from those lovely errands.

When Dennis was sick I broke my foot and that pain was wicked for quite a while until Cindy got me one of those soft boots to wear on it.  I was amazed that the boot, which is almost like a slipper, could alleviate the pain as well as it did.  I still have the boot and might end up wearing it if my poor foot and toe don't feel much better soon.

I've heard of people calling 911 because their pizza didn't arrive on time...wonder if anyone has ever called for a paramedic when they stubbed their toe??

What Children See

My friend, Mary, has a 4 year old granddaughter who goes to pre-school and who has a little friend who happens to be black.  They wondered when children began to notice the color of one's skin so asked what her little friend looked like.  The answer was that she was a little girl.  Then they asked what else she looked like and the granddaughter, quite perturbed at this point because she thought it was such a silly question, answered, "Well, she has 2 eyes, a nose, and a mouth!".

I wish very much that the innocence of this sweet child would last forever.

Analyzing My "Accident"

The more I think about this, it just doesn't make sense.  That damage is obviously a poke like would have been caused by the corner of my bumper but there is no damage or even a mark on the corner of my bumper.  I only have a 3-4" light scratch a good 6" away from the corner and toward the center of my bumper (shown in first photo of my rear bumper).  I honestly don't think I caused the damage at all.  I wish my insurance company would see it my way but it is what it is and, as far as I know, the report is closed because there was no damage to my car.  I'm sure it will stay on my driving record, though.

Child Training

I heard recently about a child misbehaving at school badly enough that his mother had to come and get him.  She treated him to a new toy and an evening of fun playing with him.  Hmmm!

I guess I'm old school in that I don't believe in rewarding bad behaviour.  I don't believe in physical punishment, either, but I do think we have to accept the consequences of our bad behaviour starting even in childhood.

The only child I ever had to take out of school because he acted up was my grandson, Matthew.  He wasn't actually bad, just silly and acting out to get a laugh but he had to learn that was unacceptable in class.  So I got to keep him every time he was expelled from school, usually for a day or so.  I didn't give him treats!

My standard punishment was to make him sit at the diningroom table for hours copying out his times table.  This was big punishment for a child who had trouble sitting still for even a short time.  Then I'd get him to do some physical labor like washing down the basement stairs.  No, I didn't give him treats at all and I do believe he learned there are not so nice consequences to bad behaviour.  Today he is adorable!

I just can't imagine any parent treating bad behaviour with fun.  What does that teach the child?  They learn that, if they don't want to behave in school they can just act up and they'll get out and get treats.  I don't believe that's the right goal for the parent.

This is not a bad child.  This is a child with some problems they can't cope with properly because they are just a child.  There is lots of hope to change this poor behaviour around in the future but it will just take longer if the parent doesn't offer more severe consequences and make it a life learning experience.

Rich Not Taxed

It was brought home to me once again finding out that Trump, who lives like a king, didn't pay federal taxes on his income for 8 years in a row.  We all know that the rich are able to use loopholes in the tax laws that aren't available to regular people but it doesn't make it any easier to take.  A huge problem with our society is that average hard working people pay a percentage of their income every year to run the country.  The very fact that people like Trump can live in luxury but not have to pay a penny to run the country is disgraceful.

He's not the only one, of course.  The people with the most money and assets are just not paying their way.  We know it but can do nothing about it.  The people in power rule the world.

Power corrupts in more ways than one.

More Tasks Completed

I have a shoe fetish and own more pairs of shoes than I'll ever wear out.  I think this came about because it's been difficult for me to find clothes that flatter my fat little body but finding shoes are easy.  I didn't count them but I believe I currently have about 25 pair of shoes...maybe more.  It's silly because I tend to wear the same ones all the time.

I bought a nice little hall bench from Ikea that holds 10 pair of shoes on 2 racks so they don't have to be on the floor.  It took me about 3 weeks to get around to putting the bench together but I did that today.  It looks nice.

It really feels good to get odd tasks done and now I have no more excuses to put off finishing my spring housecleaning.  Not today, though.  And not tomorrow or Wednesday because I'll be busy...not sure yet about Thursday and definitely not Friday.  Hmmm!  Maybe Saturday or Sunday.

Cheque Is In Hand

I hadn't heard anything different so I assumed the trailer sale had gone off without the lady backing out but I hadn't heard from Shelley whether she'd received the cheque.  She had but she'd been sick last week and even to the ER with an attack of diverticulitis!  She had never had this before so I hope it's not a developing health issue for her.  I will never stop worrying about my girls and fretting when they get sick or hurt.  It's a lifelong mother ailment.

And so my sweet little trailer that served me well for 19 years (even with a few problems I got sick of dealing with) has moved on to a new owner and I wish her well.  The trailer I'll be renting next winter will be right next to her so I can't wait to see what improvements she makes.  I'm hoping it's new flooring in the trailer and Florida room because that's what it needs most.  

I've made a momentous decision for myself, too.  For the last 2 winters I've been very sick with bronchitis while in Florida and it's gotten me feeling I shouldn't be leaving the country.  I was especially sick that last week at Shelley's and really don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been with her. So I decided that, if I get sick like that again this coming winter, I won't go back the following year for the 3 months but maybe just for a short visit to stay at Shelley's house.  There is a time and season for everything and maybe my Florida winters are coming to an end.  Not the worst thing in the world, though!

But today it's warm and sunny here in Canada, my trailer is sold, my children are fine (Cindy's broken bones are healing well) and I'm feeling great.  Life is good! 

First Accident

I was a little late in life getting my driver's licence at age 44 but I really had learned to drive when I was 16.  I have only ever had a few speeding tickets but never any accidents until yesterday.

I was at the grocery store and had to back out of my parking spot so I did what I always do.  I looked behind me to see if there were any cars or people and also any other cars getting ready to back out the same time I was.  I inched out a little bit the way I always do because there is so much foot and car traffic at the grocery store and much of that thinks nothing of walking or driving by a car that is backing up.  I don't think I've ever in my life backed up quickly.  I inched out some more, worrying a little bit that my front tire might come in contact with the concrete border next to me.  I also go slowly because to hit this border quickly would mean it would tear my tire out.  I inched out until I was almost completely in the lane and I heard a crunch.  There was no jarring because your car is just not moving fast when you are inching along.  I assumed I'd touched the concrete border but that confused me because I was so far into the driving lane.  I forgot to mention that each time I inch and stop I also look and check all around the car.  That's when I looked behind me and saw that I'd hit another car that was backing up, too.

We both got out of our cars, me in shock and apologizing and her screaming bloody murder at me.  She screamed it was 100% my fault but, even in my shocked state I could see that both of us were backing up so both of us must be at fault.  We exchanged licence and insurance information, me calm and her still raging.  I had enough presence of mind to take a picture of the damage (none to my car but her rear bumper had a smashed spot shown in photo) but then my cell phone lost power.  Faye wisely jotted down the woman's licence plate number just in case the photos I took were lost.

I called my insurance company when I got home but couldn't give them much info until my cell phone charged and I could retrieve the photos and give them more.  Since I have never had an accident, I have no idea what the procedure is other than to just leave it up to the insurance companies to take care of it.  I have $1,000 deductible so I'll probably be liable for that but I really got to thinking after a while and realized that, yes, I'd hit her, but I must have taken ages to inch my car out as far as I did so, therefore, she must have backed out of her spot long after I'd begun to back out.  In my eyes (maybe not the insurance company's) that makes her more at fault than me.  We'll see.

There is also the fact that I only checked the driver's side of my back bumper for damage because that seemed the logical spot that could have hit her because of the directions we were backing up.  There is no damage to my car but I'll have to check the right side of the bumper.  If that is damaged, then she must have hit me instead of me hitting her.  All interesting semantics but I bet I still will be out $1000.

Update:  Apparently I've never understood "no fault" car insurance because it turns out that the $1000 deductible is only if my car is damaged and my insurance has to pay for the repairs.  The lady I hit will have her own insurance cover the repairs on her car.  I'm still a little bit confused about car insurance because, when my car was parked and hit by another car, that driver's insurance paid for my repairs.  That was in the States, though, so maybe it's different there.

Casino Bound

Faye, Mary, and I are off to the casino this morning and we'll meet up with Dee M.  I'm definitely not a winner money wise at the casino but I am a winner with the friends I'll be there with.

As mentioned before, I don't smoke and rarely drink so going to the casino once a month is acceptable entertainment for me.  I like to joke that I'm spending my children's inheritance but I spend a lot more money on other sort of senseless things than the casino.

I had dinner with Faye and Mary yesterday...first time seeing Mary since last fall/winter...and we had a lot of laughs as usual.  It's so important to have girlfriends mainly because we understand each other better than any man could.  We can be ourselves, too, and not worry about shocking the opposite sex with our truths.

Dee is such a good friend, too, and will make the trip over to the casino from the States.  We see each other all the time at the park in Florida but only get to see each other a few times during the summer at home.  We both love to gamble and eat so meeting at the casino is perfect!

Faye and Mary are staying overnight at my apartment and I know it will be a late night of fun conversation.  We never seem to run out of things to talk or laugh about even though we've known each other for well over 50 years.  Life is good!