I had a skin cancer spot removed from this area last fall but it came back so today my dermatologist removed it again, hopefully for the last time. The bandage is way oversized, of course, but there are 10 stitches under it. My lip is swollen from the freezing and is supposed to be back to normal by tonight. There is little pain, only discomfort as the freezing wears off but I'm prepared to take a Tylenol if it's still bothering me at bedtime.
The thing with these skin cancers is that, even when removed, some cancer cells might remain but will be destroyed by our own immune system. This didn't happen in this case but, again, I'm hoping it's all taken care of now.
I had my first dermatologist appointment today since coming home from wintering in Florida but thought it would only be for her to see what had to be done and to schedule surgery for a month or so from now. Luckily, she'd scheduled enough time for me today to get it done immediately. For that, I'm thankful. The surgery isn't a horrendous experience but the bandaging looks awful enough that I won't feel comfortable going to a restaurant and maybe not even the grocery store. I won't know until I remove the bandaging to put my own on it on Saturday. I know from experience that the incision won't look hideous but must be kept bandaged for protection until I get the stitches out in 2 weeks.
My dermatologist is very good and keeps scarring down to almost invisible so I'm not worrying about that. My only worry is that the darned thing will return and only time will tell.
I sometimes feel cursed with these skin cancers but I know that it could be much worse. At least they're relatively curable or manageable.
I'm very concerned about something my granddaughter posted on Facebook. She threatened to unfriend anyone who opposed her personal views of the Baltimore riots and I was floored. How can an extremely intelligent person refuse to accept that others might not have the same views or beliefs that she has? How can that same intelligent person be so closed minded?
It isn't the "unfriending" that bothers me as much as seeing someone I love closing herself off so adamantly to alternate points of view. Isn't it an inalienable right to be able to express your beliefs in this country? We are fighting to keep our right to free speech in this ever changing world because we know that without it we will begin to lose more civil rights.
I have many friends who don't see the world as I do but I respect their differences of opinion and their right to hold them. When a young lady who has the ability to be a leader in this world turns her back on those with opposing views, it becomes scary. How many more potential leaders feel like this?
I didn't respond to her post because I love her. I did post my own views which differ very much from hers. My firm belief is that nothing can ever be solved by rioting, destruction, and violence. I think we should look to Martin Luther King who, without violence, managed to better the lives of black people in this country and the U.S. I remember seeing the huge masses of people marching with Martin Luther King and realizing how powerful his message was. He taught, without violence, and people who had been racist began to listen and agree.
It goes without saying that most of the Baltimore rioters care nothing for the reasons of the riots. Many are using it as an excuse to loot and destroy. We should be paying more attention to the Baltimore citizens (black, white, or whatever) who don't want their city destroyed in this way. I saw a video of a mother who was shocked to see her son throwing rocks at the police and took it upon herself to publicly discipline him. She will not accept her son committing a crime and I applaud her for that. He will become a better person for it, too.
In the end, some will agree with me and some won't. I will respect their opinions as I hope they will respect mine and my right to state them.
I needed a new passport this year so I went to the CAA to have my photo taken. I should never look at my photographs, especially passport photos, but I took a quick peek and wished I hadn't. I hadn't noticed how huge the bags are under my eyes because they're usually hidden by my glasses!! I looked like an old lady with baggy eyes and messy hair...I'll try not to look at it again.
I told Faye how awful the photo was and that I'm stuck with it for 10 years (the duration of the passport). Faye responded by saying how, in ten years, I'll be thinking the photo makes me look like a hot chick. I don't think so, Faye!
There was a time when I had 40+ plants around the house and I remember wondering why I had so many when it came to watering them. But I loved seeing healthy plants of all varieties even in the dead of winter when nothing was growing outdoors. When I started spending the winters in Florida I had to give all that up because no-one else was going to come by every week while I was gone and water them. I began putting some artificial flowers around here and there and that satisfied me for a while. Then I decided to at least buy a couple of African Violets and I was hooked.
I especially love the bi-colored ones and the plants themselves aren't very expensive. So far this year I've bought the 2 in the photo but I want one more...a white and lilac colored. Artificial flowers can never give you the same feeling of happiness that a living plant does but I know I have to limit how many I have. I gave last year's African Violets to Kim and Matt said he over-watered them and they died. African Violets have to be watered from the bottom and never soaked.
And so I have these little beauties sitting on the windowsill by the computer and I can see them from the kitchen and the livingroom. Nice!
I enjoy reading the inspirational messages I see on Facebook. Some apply slightly and some hit me in the stomach like a fist. I told my babies that we never stop learning, no matter how old we get, and that's the truth. None of us like criticism but a few honest words printed on Facebook for no-one in particular can make us open our own eyes to our failings.
I have difficulty accepting that which I don't agree with but I'm working on making myself understand that my way is not the only way. I may have a closed mind to some things but at least it's not locked tight. Reason and tolerance are usually able to slip in and coincide comfortably with my personal beliefs so I'm not a totally lost cause.
We need to ask ourselves if that which is different is a threat in any way. Most often it's not. I used to think that living together without marriage was not the way to go but I now back it 100%. If marriage is to remain sacred then we have to make sure we are compatible with our partner before entering into it.
Social mores are something we all have to deal with during our lives but we also need to recognize that they are always in a state of change. What wasn't socially acceptable 50 years ago might become the norm today. Some change isn't for the better but it usually sorts itself out in time.
I honestly believe that having the internet opens up our ability to learn about and understand that which is different or feared. Knowledge is power. If world governments ever gain control over the internet, it will be a disaster for the common people. That said, they're probably working on doing it!
My inspirational message for the day was to work on bettering ourselves instead of competing with others. I like that idea.
We currently have a variety of illnesses in our family and my worry load is pretty high. I know this, and worse, happens in all families but that doesn't make it any easier. Is it just human nature that we want our little worlds to go on as always with no change? Do we just want good fortune and good health for all we love? I think that's a normal expectation even though it's unrealistic. I don't want "real", I want the happy ending.
I guess the longer we live the more illnesses we'll have and see in the rest of our families. I've found that I most often worry too much about things that ultimately turn out just fine but my worries haven't lessened with that knowledge. I used to joke that my biological father might have been Jewish and that's why I worry so much (it seems Jewish people are supposed to be prone to worrying...I don't know if that's true or not).
My little world is upset right now and I'm hoping it's only temporary. The first glimpse of a relief will be when Jill improves and comes home from the hospital. The next will be my Kimmie's surgery over and her getting back on her feet. I have supreme confidence all will turn out well here.
There will never be a day in my life that I'm not worried about something or someone. This is the price you pay for having people in your life that you love.
I remember the days when mail was delivered daily during the week and local mail would reach us within 1-2 days max. These days it takes a week or more to receive local mail. And now the post office is forcing those large neighborhood mail boxes on us and we don't seem to have any choice in the matter.
There's lots wrong about those neighborhood boxes. They don't hold much and most mail I get is advertisement. I have no choice about that, either, and couldn't stop it even if I raised hell.
It's difficult for seniors to get outside in bad weather, especially snowy and icy weather so how much mail will pile up before some of us can trek to our neighborhood mail boxes?? What will happen to important mail if we let the advertisements use up all the space before we can pick it up??
And what about single parents with children? Are they supposed to wrap the babies up and drag them to the mail boxes every day? The same goes for invalids who aren't physically able to walk or roll their wheelchairs to the mail boxes.
I know it's a cost cutting measure but I also know our mail service will not improve no matter what they do. There's something called the Peter Principle that means people in large organizations are promoted until they reach the point where they can't do the job. That says it all about the top management of our Canadian postal system.
In my apartment building, we get mail delivered right to our apartment doors and I thought that was kind of a waste. It would make more sense to me if there was a place in the lobby where we could pick up our mail. Why wasn't this sort of thing considered to save costs? I'm sure mine is not the only building where this could be done.
So often we, the public, watch in dismay as our leaders prove that common sense is lost on a politician.
I'll probably not buy much furniture for the rest of my life because what I have now is fairly new but I've been interested in getting a chaise lounge for the livingroom. It has to be a two armed one because I change leaning positions frequently and I've discovered that the two armed ones aren't easy to find. Ashley Furniture has two of them but the price is kind of high so I'll have to do some thinking before buying.
Considering that it might be my very last furniture purchase...strange to feel it's that time of my life...maybe I should just go ahead and get what I want and not worry about the cost. Old age requires that you not plan too far ahead!
I don't like being so conscious of my age but we have to be reasonable and understand that our purchases might never wear out. We needed so much when we were young but couldn't afford just about anything but now we lucky elders have few needs and a few pesos at our disposal. Isn't it strange and somehow unfair how life turns out?
So I'll truck on down to the furniture store and see just how much I want that chaise lounge.
Update: I found the chaise lounge I wanted at both Ashley Furniture and Park Furniture (on their websites...same chaise). I drove out to Ashley Furniture but they didn't have one in the store and didn't seem to know they were advertising it on their website. I suggested they look there and, sure enough, they found it and will hopefully bring it into the store so I can see it. Now, Park Furniture sells the chaise for $626 but Ashley Furniture's price is $979...same chaise with the "Ashley" label in both stores! After trashing Park Furniture, they assured me they'd meet the lower price. We'll see!
Everybody has someone in their lives who is a bad influence. I'm timid so it's never me. Sometimes our more adventurous friends could drag us into drugs or crime and that's where we should have enough sense not to follow. In my youth I hung out with drinkers and drug users but had the common sense to not do either. I actually never even became a social drinker until I was married.
I've never liked being in what I consider a dangerous situation. As far as I'm concerned, we should follow our instincts and not take unnecessary chances with our lives.
I have no understanding of tornado chasers, mountain climbers, or stunt drivers. When they run into trouble, I think they should have known better. I understand it's considered boring to be so careful in life but that's the way many of us were created. I don't know who created the daredevils.
Anyway, enjoy your family and friends who occasionally drag you into their adventures but don't let them drag you too far. If you're naturally timid like me, it won't be fun.
This is a pile of clothes I still like but haven't worn in a long time. They're colorful, aren't they? They're either going to my daughters or to the Salvation Army. I ran into a bit of a problem because my closets were already filled to capacity and then I brought home a ton of clothes from Florida. Only a few were new and the rest were clothes I'd left down there over the summers. Add that to full closets in the apartment and something had to give!
I honestly didn't buy a lot this year because of the low Canadian dollar but I've done my share of shopping over the years and that's where my problem began. Now the closets are still full but manageable. That's the key word!
When I began decluttering my house, I found it to be like shedding a weight from my shoulders. It's still difficult to give up things we still like but people like me accumulate just too much. If it's a bargain, I have a hard time walking away.
I soothe myself by saying I don't spend much money but no-one needs the amount of clothing I possess. Lately, I've tried to buy clothes I absolutely love instead of those I'm momentarily attracted to and that has helped. Beall's Florida is my favorite store of all time and this winter I actually shopped there quite a few times and bought nothing...so I guess I'm getting smarter.
I left a small wardrobe of clothing at the trailer and will take down 3 or 4 outfits in the fall but that's another place where space is limited. I have my favorites and wear them often so I really don't need a large wardrobe.
I went to visit Cindy at her new house and she showed me her large collection of clothing. I think she has my disease! One good thing is that there is no clutter in her house so she learned early in life to be neat. I think I've said before that, when Cindy was young and given a chore to do, I could always count on it being done completely....unlike her sisters. Kim and Shelley skimmed over their chores and they usually had to be redone. Now Kim is neat and Shelley has a housekeeper. Funny how life turns out, isn't it?
Life is a funny thing. Just when you think you have everything under control, the bottom falls out and you have to show what you're made of. That's happened to me (and you) many, many times and we don't always prove ourselves to be superpeople. I don't know if that's a real word but I don't care...it says what I mean it to say.
Anyway, sometimes we fall short of our own expectations but sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we're capable of under duress. I think my biggest surprise was finding out Shelley climbed under her house to pull out a dead rat! Now, her house is almost a mansion and clean as can be but the damned rat got in through the garage and climbed under the crawl space to die. If it were my house, I would have hired someone to get it out but Shelley is made of sterner stuff.
My Cindy took on a year of exercise and proper eating to lose about 40 pounds. I'm in awe of her determination but, even though it inspires me to eat healthier, I'm not going to exercise.
My Kim lost her job last month and, instead of worrying herself to death, she spent a month in Florida with Shelley. She also is facing surgery soon for thyroid problems (not cancer and that I'm ever so thankful for) before entering the job market again with the tremendous amount of skills she possesses. She certainly won't give up and let the bad guys win!
We all face adversity of some kind pretty much every day of our lives. It's just different and of varying intensity each time. The way we handle it is usually the way we were made.
My girls are tough cookies!
No, I never learn. Got a little bored this morning and decided to go to Fallsview. It took me 5 hours to lose all my money. I chatted with a few very nice people, though.
It was a strange day. I lost all my money once but won it all back at the last moment. Did I go home? No. I gambled until I lost it all again and then I went home. There's got to be something missing in my brain to pull a stupid stunt like that.
I plan to try it all again next month.
I did the best I could re-organizing this part of the crafts in the spare bedroom. To be honest, the stash in the closet is now much higher. Fabric and yarn take up a lot of space and I've gotten rid of as much as I can tolerate at the moment.
The white shelving holds jewelry making supplies and I plan to get back to that one day. Monk's cloth and yarn take up a lot of room, too, and I have only saved a bit of quilting fabric.
I'm either going to have to work harder at using these craft supplies or accept the fact I'm not going to live to be 150.
I have this shelving unit in the livingroom and bought 4 purple collapsible boxes last year to store some things neatly. I liked them so much that I searched for a few more this year but couldn't find any in purple. The best I could do was white with purple circles and I think they look okay. These canvas boxes are great for storage and keep the spaces looking less cluttered. Heaven knows, I do have a lot of "stuff" but I have a deep aversion to clutter now.
There are actually tons of books and magazines in most of the boxes, all of which would look kind of messy if you could see them. I got rid of so much stuff when I moved but some things are too important to me to discard...what would I do without my Swedish weaving books, bead books, quilting books, etc.?
Anyway, my sweet apartment is a home and not a showcase. I'll try not to keep anything I really have no use for but some stuff has to stay!
The ride home from Florida was not without stress. On Saturday, it went fairly well until 30 miles before Cincinnati and then the traffic came to a slooow crawl until I got out of Cincinnati. After being held up for 1 1/2-2 hours, traffic sped up and, just before a "Y" in the highway, I thought I was in the right lane for mine but I wasn't. It took squealing brakes to stop me right on the "Y" before I could enter my highway. I lost a little confidence in myself.
As I got to the hotel area (right at my cutoff time of 7:30 because I can't see to drive in the dark), I turned right into the setting sun and totally blinded myself to the point where I had no idea where I was on the highway. Thank heavens oncoming traffic was stopped for the light but I felt like an absolute fool as I inched over to my side of the road, barely able to see where I was going. I lost a little more confidence in myself.
The hotel was gorgeous as expected but I decided it wasn't safe to make reservations any more. If I'm held up by traffic, I have to stop somewhere before dark and it's too much stress to be obligated to reach a certain spot. From now on I'll just find a nice motel wherever I happen to stop.
I got home about 6 P.M. on Sunday and my apartment was so nice and neat...just as I'd left it!! I took up one load in my new cadillac of all carts but noticed it seemed kind of unwieldly...just too large. Faye wants to see it and maybe buy it from me. Otherwise I'll put a little notice at the back door and try to sell it to one of the apartment residents.
I cleaned the livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom yesterday. Then I lightly cleaned the bedrooms and put all my stuff away today. I'll deep clean the bedrooms some time this week. I adore my apartment! I also finished unloading the car but Faye's and Kim's things are still in it until I can get it all to them. I'm seeing Cindy and Faye on Saturday and Kim comes home on Sunday.
Something always has to go wrong, though, and it was that the wireless keyboard wouldn't work and I'd also left the wireless mouse at the trailer. I went to Walmart today and bought a new set because I can't stand to type on the laptop. The removal of my irritation cost me $50 but it was well worth it.
And now to relax.
Note: I talked to Faye this morning and mentioned how extremely heavy her tote box was. She said she hoped she hadn't packed it at the time she was saving rocks. Well, damn!!
Our little group hits the game rooms once a week and we have such a good time. Some win, some lose, and some win big. I'm usually the big loser but it's my only vice and it's only once a week. I leave for home on Saturday and we don't have these small game rooms in Canada...the big casinos probably use a lot of political pressure to keep them out. I much prefer the game rooms to the huge casinos but I'll take what I can get...Fallsview or Caesar's only once a month because I'm also a big loser at the large casinos.
We laugh a lot here. It's much like being around a lot of holiday people who are here for the fun and we don't bring a lot of emotional baggage with us. I brought home a stash of pop, cookies, and crackers from the game rooms to keep me in snacks until I go home. I still have not indulged in potato chips since a year ago November and don't tempt myself by having them around.
Joann helped me carry out Faye's tote to the car...heavy as hell and must be stuffed with pots and pans! Now I can start loading up the car tomorrow. It won't be over-packed for the first time because I kept my shopping to a minimum this winter. I'm anxious to get home but sad to leave good friends behind who might not make it back next winter. None of us know what lies ahead for us...bad health, financial constraints, etc....so we enjoy each day as it arrives.
Tonight I'll vegetate because tomorrow will be busy. Sylvia, Mickey, Jim, Joann, Bill, Chris, and I are going to Manny's for dinner. I love the food there but this will be my first visit all winter.
Wednesday will be laundry, packing, and preparing the trailer to be vacant all summer. My final Bingo for the season is in the evening and I'll say as many good-byes as I can.
Thursday morning will be my final Swedish weaving for the season and then I'm going to Shelley's in the afternoon to go out for her belated birthday dinner (Tammy will be there, too) and then stay overnight.
Friday morning I'll head back to the park to meet up with Sylvia and go out for lunch. It will be a very emotional time for us because we may never see each other again. She's been a wonderful friend who promises to fly up from Nova Scotia for visits but I know that may never happen. No matter, we'll keep in touch by e-mail and phone because that's what good friends like us should do.
I'll lock up and leave here on Saturday morning at dawn and hope to be back home late Sunday afternoon. That's the plan...let's see how it all works out.
I'm always preaching how important counseling can be when you're in serious distress and I've somehow become one of the honorary counselors in the park. I feel very honored and trusted that anyone would come to me for guidance and I will never betray a confidence.
Listening to anyone's woes is an art because you have to judge whether or not the person is a whiner and you have to be very careful about what you suggest would help them. If they're a whiner, run! And don't pretend you have all the answers, either.
I'm strong on never taking abuse of any kind and of standing up for yourself because, if you don't respect yourself and know you don't deserve abuse, then you're laying yourself wide open for an abuser to take advantage of you.
Often, someone's problem will be beyond my ability to help and I have to be honest about that. My life experiences may not in any way reflect their's. It's a great responsibility when anyone asks your advice because it's someone's life we're talking about and bad advice is worse than no advice.
I've had people ask how to handle a difficult person they really can simply avoid. That's one of my first suggestions if it applies at all. Don't make waves, walk away, and spend your time with people who are supportive and nice to be with. If you can't walk away, take a couple of steps back. Remember, I'm not trained to counsel anyone but I've lived a long life and have learned a couple of things along the way. I'm an expert at walking away, head held high, and leaving unpleasantness behind me.
It dismays me to know how nasty some people can be, though. Life is so short and being petty is such a waste of your precious time on earth. You'll feel much better every day if you treat people kindly.
Today is a beautiful sunny and warm day in Florida and I'm blessed to be here.
Today is Shelley's 51st birthday and my memories of her from birth to today are almost all wonderful. I never noticed if she went through the terrible teens so she was either good at hiding any sins or there weren't any. What a sweetheart!
When Shelley was born she was slightly jaundiced and once the nurses tried to give her to my roommate, a Chinese lady, to be fed. Shelley was also born with a mysterious little dent in her chest, almost like a dimple, that we've never been able to figure out what caused it.
Her vocation was nursing but just last week she graduated as a nurse practitioner so her purpose in this crazy world is pretty clear. She's here to help others.
My Shelley was baby #3 and destined to be my last. She's brought me so much joy all of her life and I love her more every day. My other two daughters, Kim and Cindy, round out the package and I know I'm blessed beyond words to have these three wonderful women for daughters.
What the heck is there about people who choose a victim and hurt them over and over again? I see people like that as bullies who search out the weaker and softer to make themselves seem more powerful.
I know I wrote a long time ago that "no-one can hurt you unless you allow it" and I tried to instill this concept in someone recently. We can't allow ourselves to be held hostage by anyone who doesn't have our best interests at heart. Sometimes we need to "amputate" (another description from a long ago friend).
Life is so short and full of real problems and disasters that we can't control but we can often control who we associate with. I saw a cute Facebook post that said simply, "Be Nice, or Go Away!". Brief and to the point.
I used to deal with injustices by yelling and trying to understand the distorted logic of whoever was hurting me but I long ago learned to cope in a different way. Just walk away and let it be for good if that's what it takes. I know this is easier said than done but the time to start realizing that you, too, are a worthy human being is right now.
Does that sound harsh? I hope not.
