My Acoma Vase

I bought this 8 1/2" vase at a yard sale for 50 cents, had no idea how valuable it really was but just loved it's look.  Mary saw it one day and had been to the town in New Mexico where it was made and she told me it was probably worth $400-$500.  I was shocked for a moment but realize most people don't know the value of items that have been gifted to them or inherited by them.  Whoever held the yard sale that I bought this from must have had no idea how valuable it is.

My Kim loves it, too, and it will go to her when I leave for heaven.  In the meantime, it will give me pleasure every time I look at it.  

Playing With the Cell Phone Camera

This is so much fun...learning something easy that I thought would be difficult.  I can't keep too many live plants in the apartment because I'm gone all winter but this is the lovely African Violet I keep on the window ledge right by the computer.  I think I'll get a few more next spring because they're so spectacularly beautiful.

Using the cell phone camera is so darned easy and will make my Ebay pictures easy to take, too.  I don't know why I fought this for so long but I don't think my kids explained to me well enough that I wouldn't need a cell phone service to do it.  I think they might have told me but not in a way I could understand.  Anyway, a whole new easier world has opened up for me now, thanks to Kim.  I'm going to be adding more photos to the blog now that I have the new toy.

I had my final bloodwork for the year done today and will find out next week if I'm fairly healthy.  I think I am but doctors always seem to find something wrong with you that you never knew was there and that's why I hate seeing them.  I'm always tempted to just live my life and stay clear of all doctors but my daughters would probably make my life miserable if I did that.

Our family has had some good news and some bad news this week.  One cancer in remission or gone and another one discovered.  I'm starting to think that we're all doomed to get some kind of cancer before we're done in this world.  The only saving grace is that I'm hearing more and more about people who beat it.  We often think there hasn't been much improvement in the cure rate but I really do believe there has been.  I guess the best we can do is carry on and hope for the best...for all of us.

Laugh for the day...Kim told me that when they were at the fall fair, Nolan slipped and nearly fell between the steps of the stands (I'm horrified!) and his response was, "Whooo, I nearly fell into the engine!".  The adults all looked down to see what he was talking about and, of course, there was no engine there.  It makes you wonder what kind of weird misconceptions these little kids have of life and their surroundings. 

Cell Phone Photos

This is my good natured Kim who spent a lot of hours today figuring out how to transfer photos from the cell phone she gave me to the computer.  Since I can't find the camera I just bought last spring, I was going to have to buy another one if it wasn't still back at the trailer so Kim gave me an old cell phone, got it working properly with directions for me, and now I'm all set.  I didn't want a cell phone service and don't need one to take the pictures.  Yeah!!

It's like having a brand new toy.  It takes great pictures that I can use on Ebay...that's what I really wanted it for.  I don't normally take pictures, probably because I hate having my own taken, so this old cell phone will work just as well or better than the new camera I bought (and lost).

I remember shopping one time and hearing a lady talking on her cell phone.  She told the person she was talking to that she'd just taken a picture of an item she was looking at and was sending it so the person could see it.  How convenient if you were shopping for someone else or just wanted their opinion before buying something!  I won't have that option, though, because I won't have a service.

Anyway, I'm thrilled to death with my new toy and can't wait to start using it to put pictures on Ebay!

    

Fall Colors

Autumn may be the end of summer and the near beginning of the cold of winter but it makes up for it by being the most colorful time of the year up north.  There's something about those changes in color that brings us closer to nature and understanding how we're all a part of it...birth, lushness of youth, and death.  It's the natural order and something we should embrace.

I'm leaving for Florida in mid October but I should still be able to experience the most beautiful colors of autumn.  Nice long drives throughout the countryside...we're fortunate here in a major city to still be very close to the country.  It really only takes me a few minutes to escape the hustle and bustle of the city for the peaceful country scenery.  We usually take for granted the ease of hopping in our cars and quickly enjoying country views but many people are still city bound.  I appreciate my ability to still be driving and will miss it terribly when it's taken away from me.  Hopefully, many years from now!

Autumn in north country is one of the reasons I could never live in the deep south.  I think the constant heat and foliage would be boring.  We northerners have a lot to be thankful for and our eye candy change of seasons is certainly one of them.

Time With Nolan

When I took care of my grandchildren years ago, I knew it was vitally important to have those hours with them.  In part, it made them the people they are today.  I'm not glorifying myself when I say this but trying to explain thow important it is for a child's development to have extended family involved in their lives.

Since the arrival of my greatgrandchildren, I've made it a point to have time with them, too, but I'm older and weaker now so I can only manage one at a time.  Both boys are very easy for me to handle but they are young and full of energy and that's what seems to tire me.  Nolan has a bit more than his fair share of energy but he's still a pleasure to be around.  He's in senior kindergarten this year so I'm picking him up today after school to spend the night with me.

I can't say enough about how good it makes me feel that these little boys enjoy coming here and feel at home when they do.  They know where their toys are kept (I always had toys available for the grandchildren, too, so that they felt more at home) and accept without complaint the things I don't let them touch.

Grandparents or greatgrandparents who don't make time for the little ones in their family are bigger losers than they know.  It already brings a smile to my face when I think of how much fun I'm going to have with Nolan today and tomorrow.  Children are blessings to us in many ways, one of which is how they remind us of our own childhood innocence.

Both Nolan and Nash refer to my spare bedroom as "their" bedroom even though Nash hasn't slept over yet.  They are identifying their place in my home, knowing they do have a place.  Actually, Mary refers to it as her bedroom for the same reason.  LOL!

Family and friends.  It's what life is all about.

The Loss of a Pet

I've had only a few pets in my life but I loved them all.  Yes, loved!  Most people who have never had a pet don't understand how important our pets can be in our lives.  Often we, ourselves, aren't fully aware how much joy a pet brings us every day of their tiny lives.  They give so much and ask so little of us.

My friend, Mavis, lost her son 9 years ago and has had difficulty keeping her depression at bay.  Last year a neighbor gave her a kitten, one she really didn't want but took it in, anyways.  The change that little creature brought to Mavis' household was an amazing thing to witness.  Both she and her husband fell in love with "Misty" and the new joy I witnessed in their home was almost like a light being turned on where only shadows were before.  

I went to visit her today and was shocked to see a broken Mavis.  Her sweet little cat had been hit by a car and died in her arms.  The shadows of sadness had replaced the fleeting joy of the past year.  Mavis cried when speaking of the tragedy and then smiled and laughed while speaking of the happiness Misty had brought to her.  My heart hurt knowing how tortured Mavis has been since the death of her son and how that had been somewhat alleviated by the presence of her pet.  Now she'd lost something precious again.

Life can be unfair at times and this is one of them.  A good, kind person who lives a decent life has been dealt a terrible blow by the loss of her son.  Then, when a little joy came into her life, it was taken away so darned soon.  I hope she can get through it all.

Technologically Challenged

I don't know how I ever managed to learn as much as I have about using a computer.  I think I just stumbled on a lot.  Cell phones are a complete mystery to me but that's partly my own fault because I've deliberately not learned how to use one because I don't want to be tied to one.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember Kim telling me (I didn't want to listen) that I could use a cell phone to take photos and transfer them to the computer without having a cell phone service so I called her last night and asked her to teach me...and it has to be before I leave for Florida.

My lack of technical knowledge is starting to embarrass me.  It's sort of like being a dinasaur in the age of  rocket ships, too far apart to ever catch up.  Technology has soared since I was a child and I have to admit it will soar even further in the future.  I can't ever be technologically savvy because I missed the boat a long time ago but I can take advantage of a bit of it.  Just teach me slowly and let me take notes.  I'm a little concerned about how much patience my daughter will have while teaching me, though, and wonder if I'd be better off having a grandchild do it.  My grandchildren are gentler with me.  LOL!

On a more positive side, I woke up this morning feeling fabulous.  The sun was shining, my apartment was neat and clean, and most of my preparations for leaving for Florida are complete.  This might not sound like much to be euphoric about but I won't ever forget what my life was like when I had depression.  I've been recovered for a lot of years now so don't worry about it coming back but I do have a huge capacity for being grateful it's gone.  Simple pleasures...life is so darned good! 

Showering With Stitches

It's not easy and I hate the inconvenience of it but it's necessary.  I have an 8 stitch and a 4 stitch incision and was told not to get the spots wet...no-one said why and I didn't ask.  So when I shower I wrap a plastic bag around the one on my arm and tape a plastic bag to my chest.  They don't always stay in place so my showers are quick.

When I'm done, I change the bandages and feel so darned fresh that the whole process was worth it.  I'm healing well and it's only for another 9 days until the stitches are removed.  Life goes on!

Yard Saleing For Small Items

My yard saleing strategy these days is to look for interesting but small items to take to Florida to sell on Ebay.  "Interesting" because I might be stuck with them.  "Small" because they have to fit in my car and then in the trailer.  It's not always easy and I often have to walk away from interesting larger stuff.

A few weeks ago I found an estate sale with tons of fabric and trim...and a whole lot else I wasn't interested in.  I bought a bit of lace trim, checked on Ebay, and found out it sells quite well.  I was sorry I hadn't bought more because there really was lots and lots of it.  So back I went today, thinking it was an estate sale and they had to get rid of everything probably before the end of the month so they'd probably have another yard sale.  I was right.  I bought a big boxload of trim for $5, brought it home and measured and packaged it all and think I'm going to make a lot of money with it.  It will certainly keep me busy on Ebay all winter.  This is a fun hobby for me!

I started thinking that my yard sale buying for Ebay is going to come to an end soon.  Most items can only be sold on Ebay when I'm in the States (much cheaper cost of shipping) so I won't be able to do that when I can't go to Florida any more.  I do think I could sell the lace trim here, though, because it wouldn't cost much to ship.  I guess there's still hope for me continuing my little hobby even when I have to stay home.

Matt packed a box of Kim's old Cosmopolitan magazines in the car and I'll sell those on Ebay for her.  It's pretty amazing how much the strangest things sell for...like 20 year old magazines!  Any I don't sell this winter I'll bring home because I can still sell them on Ebay when I'm here.

Selling on Ebay has been a great thing for me.  I enjoy yard saleing for items, finding people who want them, and making a little bit of money at it.  I also thoroughly enjoy doing my research on Ebay.  I often accidently come across items I never knew had value.  It's been a terrific hobby of mine for quite a few years now and I'll miss it when it ends.

Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse, like all other crimes, will probably always be with us but there are ways to lessen the chances.  If we taught our daughters (in the home, school, and by example) that they should never tolerate physical or emotional abuse by anyone, it would lower the instances of abuse and of murders.  If we taught our sons in the same ways that abuse of another living being is unacceptable, it would have the same effect.

Domestic abuse and domestic murder go hand in hand.  If a woman (usually, but sometimes a man) refuses to allow her mate to abuse her from day 1, then it most certainly will not escalate to full battery or murder,

Domestic abuse is not easily talked about by those involved in it.  Battered wives (sometimes husbands) are embarrassed or don't want to get their mate into trouble.  This is one big reason why an abused person has to stop it before it even gets started.  I've done a lot of research on the subject and understand it often takes great lengths of time before an abuser shows his/her true side.  They often woo their victim with love and kindness but become aggressive and demanding once they feel confident they can get away with it.  An abuser is really a weak and frightened human being.

Emotional abuse is usually more subtle and you might not recognize it as such until you're deeply involved in a relationship but it is never too late to stop accepting it as normal.  

Stand straight, respect yourself, and let your abuser know it can't happen again or you're walking away.  If the abuse continues, know that it will never stop and your life will be hell if you stay.

I wish it was as easily done as said but we have to keep trying to instill pride of self in our children.        

Stitched

Yesterday I had 2 suspicious spots cut off which left me with 8 stitches on my arm and an, as yet, undetermined number on my chest.  I try not to look at procedures like this because they make queezy.  I'll find out if they really were skin cancer in 2 weeks when I go back to the dermatologist to have the stitches removed.

Two large bandages cover the spots which I'd thought quite tiny and I'll remove them tomorrow to cleanse them.  Stitches don't bother me as long as what they're closing is neat and clean.  I'm going to assume I'll find another 8 stitches on my chest, too.  I heal fast so I'll also assume there will be no problem with the healing.

Anyway, this too shall pass and, I hope, never return.

Two More Little Skin Cancers

One of the big reasons I hate seeing a doctor is that they find stuff you didn't even know you had and weren't worried about.  I saw the dermatologist yesterday for my twice yearly visit and she sprayed some suspicious spots but found 2 ( I knew I had 1) that she wants to remove today.  I guess I should be thankful that they're small and easily removable but it will still require surgery and stitches.  The picture above is of the one on my arm but the one on my chest is really just a dot.

My darned Irish skin has been plagued with little skin cancers (1 on my lip that required radiation) for the last few years and I keep hoping they'll stop popping up.  I was never a true sunbather because my skin burned instead of tanned but maybe that's the reason for the skin cancers now.  

I'm not crazy about my dermatologist but she is very knowledgable and doesn't charge for the spraying while others here do so I guess I'll stick with her.  OHIP pays for the surgery so there's no cost to me, thank heavens.  Another good reason to have government health care!

Anyway, the spots affected today are on my lower arm and on my chest.  I can understand the sensative skin on my chest but arm skin is usually pretty tough.  They're not open sores but just little scabby spots that won't completely heal and go away.  They're the kind of things we'd tend to ignore if we didn't see a dermatologist regularly.

The good news is that the bad skin problems I've had for years on my nose were seemingly eradicated by the chemical peel I had done in Florida so I'm very happy with that.  Maybe I could get a chemical peel on my whole body!  LOL!

Shower Me

I haven't been sick in a while but it always makes me get better faster if I can drag myself to the shower and then get dressed.  There's something about the healing and awakening power of water being poured over you that amazes me even just taking my regular shower.  You think you're awake and ready to face the day but the minute the shower water drops onto your head you REALLY come awake.  The same thing happens when you're not feeling well...you feel so much better after a shower.

I wonder if it's partly because you're body has become dehydrated over the night and it's the hydration of the shower that your body needs to be fully awake?  I think it's also knowing that your hair will look it's best once you're done.  I shower every second day so I have one day of "good" hair and one day of "passable" hair.  Heaven forbid if there is no water on the third day because I wouldn't be able to leave the house.

I forget exactly how much water our bodies consist of but I think it's something like 98% so it's no wonder we're so affected by it or the lack of it.  When I'm truly thirsty only actual water will quench the thirst.  Water splashed onto my face revives me instantly.  We tend to take for granted that our water supply will always be there because we know we can't live without it.  When I think of places like Africa where water is in short supply, it makes me nervous.

Here in Ontario, we're surrounded by the great lakes but, in Florida, there actually is a shortage of fresh water and it carries a premium price.  Some households pay hundreds of dollars a month for their water.  In our park, we're lucky to have artesian wells that supply our trailers with somewhat fresh water but most of us use it only for bathing and buy our drinking water.  This causes us to appreciate what we have back home in Ontario.

We Canadians live in a beautiful, free country, one which draws  immigrants who want what we have and often we don't appreciate.  One of those things is the luxury of turning on our taps and having one of the necessities of life at our fingertips.

I guess I'm feeling a little euphoric because I just had my shower and my hair looks pretty darned good.  LOL!  

Negative Drama

Some people thrive on drama,  the more negative the more they seem to enjoy it.  They're the kind of people who will jump down your throat if you dare to say something they don't agree with.  They tire me out.

I'm hooked on shows like Cops and Maury where I get to see people totally immersed in lives of negative drama and, while it's interesting from a psychological point of view to witness at a distance, it would waste your whole day if you were actually living it.  I wonder sometimes if these people have screaming matches because they're bored and it sort of gives a little excitement to their dreary days.  There is definitely a deep psychological reason why some people deliberately fill their lives with drama, especially negative drama.

I'm not sure what positive drama is...maybe unbridled happiness??  That would probably wear me out, too, if it wasn't portioned out reasonably.  I once knew a lady who was hyper happy all the time but she complained that every man she dated was impotent.  I wonder if she wore them out before they even got started.

My family and friends run the gamut from high to low but never all the time, thank heavens.  Nolan might be a little too often on the high side but he's only 5 years old so that's to be accepted.   I really don't have anyone close to me who is a persistent downer...how draining that would be!  I did have a cousin like that but I've had to keep my distance because I could feel myself being dragged down right along with her.

Life is so much easier to handle if we dwell on as little negativity as possible.  Count your blessings and don't burden yourself with the petty stuff. 

What the F...!!!

I know we live in a progressively crazy world but every once in a while I can't help but think we're doomed.  Shelley posted a story on Facebook showing that a United States soldier was denied access to his children's school by security because he was wearing a military uniform.

Picture this...a hired security guard turns away a soldier father because some of the kids might be offended by his uniform.  I wonder what the security guard was wearing and if he/she was carrying a gun.

I'm just getting over the shock of seeing a list of banned foods from our local schools because a few of the children have allergies.  It's a ridiculous list banning everything that is good for the children.  I understand there are children with serious food allergies but doesn't it make more sense to let them eat their own lunches in a separate room than to limit the lunches of 99% of the students??  The school board also printed a list of acceptable lunch foods and they included potato chips and a whole lot of crap our children should not be eating at all.  

Should milk be banned in our schools??  Should nutritious peanut butter sandwiches be forbidden and meat sandwiches (more expensive and more easily spoiled) be demanded instead??  Sometimes the people who make up these ridiculous rules haven't got a brain in their heads...so are we going to let them get away with it?

What I think will happen here is...Americans have a great respect and regard for their soldiers so idiots at the school who wouldn't allow the soldier father in will change their policy.  The poor kids in my city will just have to eat crap because I can't see our local school board being forced to face facts instead of jumping on band wagons.  

Some common sense in the States but some asinine rules in Canada.
    

Severe Disappointment

My sister phoned me yesterday and, when I saw who it was on call display, I didn't answer the phone.  The sound of her voice brought back all the hurt from 2 years ago when she disappointed me so severely that it cut me deeper than I would have thought possible.  That was the day I'd broken my wrist (twisted bones) and she wouldn't go to the hospital with me.  I could drive with great difficulty but I was in agony and couldn't open the car door to get out.  There's much more to the story but suffice it to say that I've never really gotten over her betrayal when I was in desperate need.

I know my children are disappointed with me for shutting her out of my life but I've thought a lot about it today and know I don't hate her but I think it would break my heart to be around her.  I can only describe it as a feeling almost of fear.  I knew she had her faults but I never would have believed she'd turn her back on me when I needed her help so badly.  It's very difficult to wrap my mind around what happened that day.

My girls have said that life is too short to carry grudges, especially with family, but this isn't a grudge.  I don't know what to call it...I only know it would cut me to the quick to look into her eyes and try to see the sister I thought I had and to know she isn't who I thought she was.  It's almost a feeling of repulsion and I'd prefer to not see her than to feel that way about her.

And so I'll drift along through life without her and wonder how this will all end. 

Rummicubes by Candle Light

I spent a couple of days with Mary and they were enjoyable as always.  We hit her local casino and I lost all my money...surprise, surprise.  In the evening we settled in with gin and tonics to play Rummicubes but a bad storm caused a power outage so we were forced to play by candle light and flashlights.  I wouldn't recommend it but it did allow us to finish a game before we gave up and took our refreshed gin and tonics to the livingroom to just gab.

Mary and I are good friends and we can talk for hours about just about anything so that's what we did.  We don't necessarily have the same views of the world but the trick is to respect another's point of view unless it's a complete deal breaker.  There are none of those for me with Mary and I hope none of my beliefs are too much for her.

Before we went to the casino, we went to the little historic site of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" and I was just blown away by what I saw and learned.  Josiah Henson was an American slave who made his way via the underground railway to Dresden, Ontario in 1830.  In 1841, he and a group of others purchased 200 acres of land and created a vocational school for runaway American slaves so they could learn trades to support themselves.

There are still 4 of the original buildings which have been moved to the information center property in Dresden and I think Mary was a little surprised at my need to touch them in order to receive sensory input from them.  I don't know how to explain this need but I do it because it thrills and impresses me.  The strongest feedback came when I put my hand on the little church podium (Henson was a preacher) and it was almost like sparks flying to my hand.  I don't understand it but I believe it's energy of some kind.

The term "Uncle Tom's Cabin" came from the book written by Harriet Beecher Stowe and she based her book, factual and nonfactual, on Josiah Henson.  I can't believe it took me so long to visit and learn about such an important part of Canadian history.  I feel blessed that Mary was kind enough to take me there...she had already visited it before.  It will always astound me that any human being could believe it right to own another human being and to treat them so viciously...buying, selling, tearing apart families, beating, raping, killing.  It frightens me to know that can be a part of the human psyche.

Anyway, my little get-away to Mary and Don's place was also filled with happy times.  They'd had an afternoon party the first day for Don's family and that was great because they all mean a lot to me, too.  I've known this family for so long that I consider myself almost one of them.  They're good people!

All in all, I had a terrific time but I did like coming back home to my sweet little apartment, too.  I seem to have the best of many worlds and I am very thankful.

Taking Care of Business

In latter years I've surrounded myself with people I like and who I can trust.  Before Dennis passed away he told me to sell the Florida trailer because I wouldn't be able to look after it myself.  Well, he was right in a way but you can always hire people to do the things you can't do yourself.  There are so many people at the park in Florida who will come to your aid or suggest good hired help and that's what I depend on when I'm there.  So far I've got the trailer cleaning, inside and outside, taken care of and know of a couple of people who will fix whatever goes wrong if I can't fix it myself.

I don't think Dennis thought I'd survive on my own but I think I've done pretty good.  Selling the house last year was amazingly easy so I really lucked out with that but I feel I can handle whatever comes up...as long as I have my family, friends, or a check book to take care of it.

Dennis would be surprised at what I've accomplished since he's been gone but I believe we all have it in us to take up the reins of life if we have to do so.  Sheer determination can be the strength that carries us to do what has to be done.  I had so many doubts about my own abilities before Dennis passed away but what I've been able to do in the 9 years since has given me a lot of confidence.  You never know what you can do until you do it.  

Lots To Be Thankful For

I'm an analyzer by nature.  I analyze the people I come in contact with and I analyze myself.  After finishing the 7 Days of Thankfulness, I realized how much more I have to be thankful for and it truly humbles me.  Then I started analyzing just why I've become so at peace and one of the big reasons is that a few years back I started backing away from people who pulled me down.  I know this will narrow your horde of personal contacts but, boy, it sure makes for a peaceful life.

When you're younger, you are sort of forced to participate with people you don't like but we seniors can usually pick and choose our companions.  Every single one of mine these days is fun to be with and honest as the day is long.  This is what matters to me.  And it's a huge reason why I'm a contented old lady.

Trailer Cleaner

Every year before I leave for Florida I hire someone to clean the trailer.  One person will powerwash the outside and one will clean the inside from top to bottom.  I like to arrive at a nice clean trailer because I know what the summers do to an untended tin can.  A few times I've hired people who did such a crappy job that I had to pretty well redo it all and that's not how I like to start my Florida holiday.  One of my fondest memories is when I got to the trailer and found the cleaner had done a poor job.  As I was recleaning it, a friend of mine (Barb Martz) came strolling up the road with a bucket in hand to help me.  You just never forget good samaritans like that!!

The park's new owners have a policy which forbids any of their employees from doing work for the residents, even in their own free time, so I'm having trouble keeping a good house cleaner.   This year I'll be trying someone new, a lady who just moved into the park and who was recommended by a friend of mine.  We have a good network at the park where we look out for each other and help each other.  I'm so thankful for the good people who live or winter at 3W.

When Dennis was alive, he'd do all the outside work while I cleaned the trailer and put stuff away.  He'd also dispose of dead roaches that found their nast way inside the trailer over the summer.  I know he wouldn't approve of me hiring people to do this work but I do it because it makes me feel good to settle into a nice clean trailer after driving 1200 miles to get there.

I'm going down earlier than usual this year because John is being honored by being inducted into the "Air Command Hall of Fame" on Oct. 19th.  I'm so proud of him and don't want to miss the occasion.  I couldn't ask for a finer son-in-law than John and I love his family, too.  My Florida winter is going to start off so well but my only worry is when my wonderful friend, Sylvia, will get there (because of her car accident).  

I'm looking forward to seeing all my good buddies again but I'll also worry a bit about Gail W. getting there.  She and her husband rent and I'm hoping they find a good rental for this year.  Too many of my good buddies, like Gail, live too far away from me at home so I love having the winter with them.  Without my special buddies, Florida wouldn't be much fun at all.

Well, I'll hope for the best and accept what I cannot change.