Mold Cough

Shelley thinks my allergic symptoms...coughing, loss of voice, etc....might be caused by mold in the trailer.  I would feel terrible for selling it if that's the case.  I'll see my doctor and a specialist when I get home and, if that's the case, I'll have to warn the buyers and probably give them their money back.

The last few days my symptoms have worsened but Shelley also seems to think they might start to subside now that I'm not exposed to the mold.  It's very irritating to have no voice, blocked ears, and this persistent cough.  I'll be glad to see my doctor!

Taken Care Of

This has been a roller coaster winter.  The sale of the trailer, the not knowing if I'd be able to come back and rent next winter, Cindy's accident, Shelley's new job, etc.  Somehow I never let it get me down because, as long as my family is okay (Cindy got broken bones but she'll recover), I'm okay.

Since Cindy and Don were supposed to be the ones who came down to Florida to drive me home, I wasn't aware of how the new details were being figured out back home.  It turned out that Cindy wasn't really fit to travel at all and they couldn't come down.  No worry, Shelley could drive me home...but she'd already made a trip up north to help care for Cindy and that was a lot to expect from her so my wonderful family got together with another option.

Tyson and Sarah are flying to Florida about mid April so they cancelled their return flight so they can drive my car back home for me and I can fly home.  I am reduced to tears at what a sacrifice that is for them.  I never worried about how i'd get home because I know my family would work it out somehow but this offer from Tyson is above and beyond.  They're trading in a 2 1/2 hour flight home for a 2 day drive home and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Shelley got me a very cheap flight that takes me non-stop to Hamilton but it gets in at 1 A.M. in the morning.  My precious Kim is picking me up and my precious Cindy is lending me her car to use until mine arrives.

None of this is a surprise to me but it's a wonderful example of how my family works.  I'm blessed.  We're all blessed to have each other.

Cindy will need some extra care when Don goes back to work so that's where I can step in and help out.  Because of her injuries being both right wrist and right ankle, she really is tremendously handicapped and can't be left alone.  I have lots of plans on how to keep her amused so she doesn't rip someone's head off because she's so frustrated with her limitations.

I love my family!

Buyers

Joseph and Zhazha stopped by and introduced themselves as the people who were buying my trailer.  They asked if they could look through because they had bought it sight unseen.  Now to see if it's really sold.

Outdoor Clotheslines

In this time of time saving devices, one of the things many have missed out on is the outdoor clothesline.  There really isn't anything to compare with laundry that has dried outside after wafting in a fresh air breeze.  The very best is the lovely smell of bed sheets that have dried outside.

I did a small hand wash today...mostly the Indian tops that color continues to bleed out of maybe forever.  They have to be hand washed because they're so poorly made they'd shred in a washing machine.  I still love them for the vibrant colors, though.

We've had beautiful days full of sunshine for the last few weeks and wouldn't you know that the one day I decide to do the hand wash and hang the clothes outside that we have cloud cover and a darned good chance of rain.  I'm hoping to get the items mostly dry before it rains, though.  There is a lovely breeze out there.

I remember the days when I had no dryer and had to hang everything on the line even in the deep cold of winter.  The clothes would freeze and stiffly blow in the wind until they gradually dried and softened.  The smell as I brought them back inside was intoxicating, so fresh and natural.  No fabric softener was ever need for clothes that dried that way.

I only have this opportunity right now because the trailer is the only place I have access to a clothesline.  It's too bad.  I'll sure miss that fresh air smell on my laundry.

Why We're Here

I often wonder if everyone's brains work like mine does.  Does everyone else constantly wonder why the heck we exist?  If it's an experiment, I think we've failed.  If it's a forever thing, I think we've failed to become better people.  If we're soon to be blown off the face of the earth, I think it won't be too big a loss.

Human beings have so much potential to do wondrous things.  We have a great capacity for love and kindness but that seems to have been lost to personal greed.  I'm no exception in case anyone is wondering just how perfect I think I am.  Nope, I'm as bad as the masses.

I do often wonder what our world would be like with just one day where evil took the day off.  Way in the back of my mind where I try not to go is the knowledge that terrible atrocities are being committed around the world.  Why does this have to happen?  Why can't we harness the good that truly is in us and turn our backs on the evil that resides there, too.  I'm always saying we're flawed but I've never understood why.

Something that has become very difficult for me to stomach is how someone can be very religious and doing their best to live a good and decent life yet still feel and act upon their hatred of people who follow a different religion.  Facebook is useful in it's own way but it's also become a source of political and religious bias that is almost violent.  

We aren't improving.  We are becoming better educated but even that has been tainted with small party bias that really makes no sense but somehow has become "politically correct" for the masses to abide by.  Who the heck would ever have thought we'd become ashamed of specific gender?  I think, beyond war, this is an issue that might destroy our society.  It's almost as though women have become more powerful in reaching for equality that some want to erase the concept of men.  We don't have to do that to be equal...we only have to settle for nothing less than equality.

I'm at the far end of my lifespan and I know we're in trouble as a society.  It won't affect me but this 'politically correct" crap will definitely affect my progeny.  What we need is a hero, someone we all can respect and who sees clearly what will benefit all of us.  We've followed the demands of a tiny minority for too long and it's time for the majority to step up.

I'm really hoping we, as a people, can do better for each other regardless of sex, race, religion, or any other difference.  

   

Haircut and Pedicure

I'm sorry but I happen to like being spoiled with a nice haircut and a good pedicure and I had both today.

I would bet there is not one woman who has experienced these things that doesn't crave to have the next one.  I feel spoiled every time so it's not as though it's something I feel I'm entitled to but something I feel very lucky to be able to have.

Wow!  Sharon, the park manager, just came by with a $2500 offer for my trailer.  I'd get $1500 after the park commission.  Here's hoping it goes through!!!  Isn't it interesting how life and circumstances can change in a split second?

Back to my haircut and pedicure...I used to feel guilty about the pedicure but it's become something I can't do myself any more so now it's perfectly acceptable to me...I still feel like I'm being spoiled, though.  Every woman needs a good haircut in order to get through the day.  I don't care if you're rich or poor or inbetween.  You need to know your hair looks at least okay.  I feel no guilt whatsoever about getting a nice haircut.

Well, no matter what happens in our day, the world keeps turning and the seasons keep changing.  Look for the good in it and you'll find it.

Friends

I didn't win at Bingo last night but I did get quite a surprise.  During half time, many of the people there go around and visit friends who are sitting at other tables and often come to ours.  I was kind of surprised at how many came over last night though until Dee started thanking me for doing our Friday coffee mornings and then handed me a card.  I cried, of course, especially because it touches me deeply when people are so kind to me.  Inside the card was a gift certificate for a pedicure and also some money to use to buy flowers for the park rental next year.  These are such wonderful ladies that I can't even find the right words to describe them.  I just feel so blessed to have somehow arrived at this park way back in 1998 and been allowed by chance and circumstances to stay here this long.  If luck stays with me and I can come back next year, I will feel doubly blessed.

One thing these ladies don't know is that our Friday coffee mornings do more for me than for them.  I look forward every week to spending a few hours yakking and laughing with them.  They are all good, kind, fun, and intelligent ladies that I'm so very lucky to have for friends.  Fate has been good to me in many ways.

This morning I turned on the computer to see another wonderful thing that has happened.  Shelley has been offered what I believe is her dream job working at the Airforce base and I can't wait to hear all the details.  She's wanted a job that was closer to home and this certainly is...maybe 15-20 minutes from her house and no highway travel!  I am thrilled for her!!

Of course, all good things are not 100% without a few glitches and I'm now wondering how I will get back home.  Poor Cindy has a broken ankle and wrist and now Shelley has her new job.  Hmmm!  I'm not worried, though, because I can drive myself if absolutely necessary but it will just take me a bit longer.  I'm also still waiting to hear if the park will buy my trailer so lots of things are up in the air right now.  That's life and I can handle it!

Today I'm going over to Shelley's to stay overnight.  I want to get rid of the stuff packed in the back seat of my car that are staying at Shelley's until next winter.  They're things I'll want to have for the rental.  Fingers crossed!  

Not Home Any More

I think I might have cleared out a little too much too soon because this once cute little trailer has become a cold and drab place to live.  It's funny how just a few touches of what pleases your eye makes a home a home.  

I don't think I ever cluttered the trailer up with stuff but was always welcoming to me before and now it's just a place to stay until I leave for good in 9 days.  It will be good to get back to my cute little apartment where I've decorated with stuff that pleases my eye.  We have to do this to feel comfortable in our home.  It doesn't matter if our style pleases no-one else just as long as it pleases us.

Dee is driving us to the game rooms today because I put a lot of stuff in the back seat of my car when I thought the trailer was sold.  I'm going over to Shelley's this weekend and will leave that particular stuff at her house until next winter when, hopefully, I come back here to the rental.

Shelley came home yesterday after a week taking care of Cindy.  I'm not sure how my 3 daughters grew so very close but they absolutely amaze me with their commitment to each other.  It's a beautiful thing to see since we all know families that don't behave this way.  My mother was one of 3 daughters who not only had nothing to do with each other, they hated each other.  Something must have gone terribly wrong with their upbringing to have brought them to that stage.  I know Ida, the oldest, was given away to her grandmother as a baby because her father had died.  Rose was a beauty and my mother was very jealous of her for that.  I don't know why Rose hated her sisters but it might have been the way they treated her.  Such a sad way to live.

Well, I have to get dressed for the day...game rooms this morning, nap this afternoon, and cards with friends this evening.  Life is good!

Saying Goodbye

As I've cleaned out and cleared out all or most of the things that made my little trailer a home away from home, it looks more every day like it doesn't belong to me.  That's a good thing because it means I won't feel sad when I leave it in 10 days.  I've been mentally relinquishing it all winter, knowing this would be my last winter in it and not feeling one bit of sadness about it.  It truly is the right time for me to go.

I think everyone can relate to this feeling.  Sometimes it's a marriage you're leaving behind...sometimes it's a loved one who is passing on.  You just know it's time.  I've had 19 wonderful winters in this sweet little trailer and never craved anything bigger or fancier.  Maybe that's how I've remained the happy camper that I have...not wasting my time craving bigger and better.  

It's still up in the air whether or not I'll be back here next year.  Who knows, maybe my health will take a bad turn or maybe something else will come up.  It's best not to make too set in rock plans for anything.  I'll be very happy if it turns out I can come back and rent because it means one more winter with the wonderful friends I have here.  If it turns out I can't, Faye and i will be asking Shelley if we can spend some time next winter at her house.  Life goes on.

Today I'm going out for lunch with the RedHats.  I love doing this but haven't had the time since I got here.  In January I was sick and in February something else came up so this is my last chance this season.  Tonight is Bingo.  My life may not be ultra exciting but it's turned out pretty much the way I'm comfortable with.

I told Faye that, if and when my winters in Florida end, I'll spend much more time at the senior center doing crafts or whatever.  It's a lively place with lots of fun and interesting people so I know I won't be just sitting alone at home getting bored.

Yes, life does go on and you can adapt and be happy or you can choose to resent what you don't have.  I'll adapt!

Offer

Yesterday I got a $5,000 offer for the trailer but the man wanted it by this Friday.  It isn't impossible for me but I did ask if he could extend it to Saturday because I don't like travelling on Hwy 4 during the week.  He said he'd ask his boss for the extra time.  And now I wait to hear back.

This whole trailer selling process has been weird from the beginning.  I think it's cute but that doesn't mean other people think so, too.  I think I asked a lowball price for it to sell quickly but that didn't happen.  It's a good thing I have the attitude that the trailer owes me nothing since I've had 19 wonderful winters in it.

Anyway, what I did expect was a quick sale near asking price.  What I have is me waiting to hear from a possible buyer who wants me out in just a few days.  Hmmm!  I just hope he doesn't disappear.

Update:  Well, damned if he didn't change his mind and withdraw his offer.  He decided he wanted a larger trailer.  I wonder how often this happens to people who are buying a house or trailer?  Wouldn't you think they'd be certain about what they wanted before they put in an offer?  Anyway, I'm back to hoping the park will buy it but, whatever happens, it won't be the end of the world and that's that!

Correlation

I just realized that I'm really following somewhat in my grandmother's footsteps.  While she served beer to a bunch of old men, I serve coffee to a bunch of old women.  The beer drinkers laughed, sang and chatted and my coffee drinkers laugh and chat..haven't heard one sing yet but it could happen.

St. Patrick's Day

When I was growing up St. Patrick's day was always a big deal in my household.  My grandmother (I called her Nan) was a bootlegger and also of Irish heritage so she'd dye the beer green to serve to her customers.  These were almost exclusively old men who were either widowers or just wanted out of the house for the day so there was never any drunkenness or rowdiness...except my grandfather (I called him Bobba which must have arisen from the way I said Grampa when I was a baby) who was a verbally abusive weekend drunk.  He was a big man, even in his 80's, and scared to death of my little grandmother who was well under 5' tall so he was never, ever rowdy with her.

Most of Nan's customers were Irish so our little apartment would be filled with them singing the old Irish songs as I sat quietly in a corner and watched and listened with great interest.  I think of my childhood as a colorful one and I identify very strongly with my grandmother's personality which I think I've inherited.  She's the one person who has passed away that I'd give just about anything to have the chance to talk with again.  I never appreciated her when I was young but I see things differently now.

None of Nan's customers left our little apartment without a bag of her preserves to take home with him.  I often think she didn't make much profit from her side business because she also fed them dinner if they stayed late enough.

Nan dyed her hair a henna orange...I think it was supposed to be red but it came out more orange than red.  She'd have little sausage rolls on the top of her head that I thought was a hideous hairstyle but I now accept as her choice and none of my business.  She really was a truly good and generous woman who had too hard a life.  Her husband had died when she was still in her teens and then she had a baby out of wedlock (my mother) in 1918 when she was only 24 years old.  I can't even imagine how hard life must have been for her in that terribly unforgiving society.

Nan married my grandfather, an illiterate who was 13 years her senior, a few years later.  My memory tells me it was a very loving marriage because their fights were only about his drinking.  I remember her hitting him with her purse in anger one day and him not hitting her back.  I, on the other hand, half fainted from the perceived violence.  

I miss both of them very much now that I'm more of their age.  I understand them better and appreciate them and what they did to raise me.  They made big mistakes, that's for sure, but they did what they thought was right.  I have to admit I was a mouthy brat when I was growing up and maybe that's why I'm a mouthy brat but with written words now.

Anyway, my memories of St. Patrick's Day in the 40's and 50's still make me smile and I can almost hear the beautiful songs I heard back then...in my little corner as I watched and listened.  

We're Not Perfect...But Almost

I have filled this blog with how lucky my family is to have each other to count on.  Cindy's broken bones are no exception because she has Don, Kim and the kids to look after her and also her good, good friends.  Shelley is flying up from Tampa today to also lend a hand and her medical expertise.  We are so damned lucky that I could cry.  We hear so much these days about families that are at odds with each other or who have severed connections so I know full well how blessed we are.  I am especially heart warmed about how close my three daughters are and how they have such a strong bond.  I couldn't have hoped for better.

I got some good news today from Donna who might have been facing amputation of her infected toe.  She's back home from the hospital still trying to clear up the infection before having heart surgery.  She has a difficult road ahead of her but she's a tough old gal with a good husband, Frank, who has stood right by her all through this.  I hope she'll be well enough to allow me and Faye to do our Swedish weaving afternoon at her house when I get home.  That will be up to Donna and how she's feeling but I think it would be good for her if she's up to company.

The trailer still isn't sold and I'm planning on talking to management on the 20th ( I leave on the 30th) about me giving it away.  I'm not sure how that will go and if I'll be allowed to come back next year to rent.  I miss being at home but I'll also miss these great friends I have in the park.  There's no doubt I'll miss the weather, too.  Cindy's accident has driven home to me that I'll have to be very careful walking in the winter.  I'm really terrified of being bedridden and dependent on my daughters.

Well, enough of that scary stuff...today it's sunny and warm/hot out and I might take a drive to the grocery store for a few items.  It will be so nice for me to be able to leave any extra groceries here if and when the new owner takes over the trailer.  I have no worries that, when I leave, I'll regret getting rid of it, though.  Paying lot rent for 12 months when I definitely only want to be here for 3 at the most means it's ridiculous to keep it.  The time has come to move on...I hope not out for good, though. 

Life

This is the last of my free days (Saturday, Sunday, Monday) where I don't do any socializing but just catch up on odd chores.  I had a nice leisurely morning playing on the computer and then decided to gather up a bunch of things to put in the car trunk to take home.  The phone rang when I came in and it was Shelley telling me that Cindy had fallen on the ice and broken her ankle...also thought wrist was broken but it wasn't.  All I could think of was that I wished I was home to help take care of her but knew Don would do a wonderful job.  We are blessed with darned good family!!

Shelley mentioned that if Cindy and Don couldn't get down here at the end of the month (something that never occurred to me) she would drive me home.  I'm thinking that, even if Cindy and Don are able to still fly down and have their vacation, it would be torture for Cindy to tolerate the long drive home so Shelley coming back with me will be a perfect solution.  Again, we are blessed with such a wonderful, thoughtful family.

Cindy is going to need surgery on the ankle right away because it is such a bad break so I'm worried about that.  I've never had a broken ankle but have heard how terribly painful it is.  I hope Cindy will take a good amount of time off work instead of pushing herself to go back too soon.  Bev, who had a badly broken ankle a few years ago, can give her some pointers.

One of a senior's biggest fears is falling on that damned ice in the winter.  Our bones break very easily and we can't really take care of ourselves while healing so we have to be dependent on someone to look after us.  I know how good Don will be looking after Cindy so that eases my mind.

Our family has had a few ups and downs this winter what with Cindy braking her ankle and Donna needing foot and heart surgery.  They say things happen in threes so I hope the rest of the family (including me) keeps out of trouble.

Update:  It turned out that both right ankle and right wrist are broken and both needed surgery which was done last evening.  All went better than expected according to the surgeon.  Cindy is such an active and busy person that I don't know how being incapacitated like this will affect her but I do know she'll work hard at any therapy that gets her back to normal.

Changing Values

I read something today that got me thinking.  Society and what they value, detest, or accept is continually changing so, even if it worries some of us, it's just the way it is.  I see the good in my offspring even if their ways may not be my ways...they are still decent human beings and that's the most we can hope for.  I also see less subtle changes in our society that really does worry me and that is the side where our youth are seeking to destroy everything that came before them.

I see teens and young adults marching and demanding everything for free without a thought of who has to work to provide that.  I see young parents intent on erasing every vestige of male or female as though our sex is something to be ashamed of.  I see wanton destruction to satisfy the issue of the moment and then to abandon that issue for the next one that comes to mind.  I see the disintegration of families where commitment doesn't mean forever if something else appears more thrilling.  I see single parent families where the second parent, either mother or father, simply walks away to pursue their own selfish interests.

I also see middle aged and even elderly politicians catering to the unrealistic demands of any minority as long as it gets them votes.

I try not to dwell on what disturbs me and concentrate on the goodness and beauty of what our world can be.  I'm always hoping that there is more good in humanity than evil and that the goodness will overcome whatever evil we all carry within.  I think it will.

Park Craft Show

We had our park craft show today and, as I packed my table runners into one bag to carry over, I thought how right I was to get out of the costume jewelry selling and concentrate on my table runners.  Kim and I used to take a good hour to set up all my stuff at the craft sales back home but now that I have only a few necklaces and mostly the table runners it will take maybe 15 minutes.

I sold 4 of them but had a great time talking to people and that's what I enjoy most.  I'm pleased that people like my work even when they don't buy it.

The people who put on the craft show asked to see my trailer and someone asked a friend about it so there is still hope for selling it.  I don't worry because I'm still of the frame of mind that what will be will be and I really have no control over how this will all end.  I think that's a healthy attitude.

Big Decision

I've felt all along that this trailer owes me nothing because I've had 19 years here and that has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.  There are still no offers on it and I'm gone March 30th no matter what but, if it doesn't sell and I have to walk away from it, I won't be able to come back here next year to rent.  Those are the stupid rules.  Anyway, I haven't worried about not getting any money out of it but I have worried just a bit about not being able to come back next year to this park.  I love the activities and people very much and that's what I hate to see end.

The other night as I lay in bed making some decisions about the trailer, I came to the conclusion that losing out on 2 winters (at the most) is not the end of the world.  It would irritate me terribly to have to pay another dime to the office for lot rent and this is something I won't do.  Therefore, I may have to forfeit those 2 winters and I can live with that.

This decision apparently calmed me down and now I am comfortable just waiting out the rest of my time here and what will be will be.  Not everything goes as planned but this is really not a disaster in any shape or form.

None

I had a lovely time visiting at Shelley's where 3 of my grandchildren and their partners were also visiting.  Kyle, knowing how much I love my babies, asked which one I love the least.  I couldn't answer because there is no one.

Kyle has never had children yet so he doesn't know how much love we're capable of and how it just expands with every new child.  Of course, we love them all differently but somehow equally because we couldn't bear to lose any one of them.

I remember when I was expecting Cindy and worrying how I would be able to love another child as much as I loved Kim.  I was like Kyle, thinking our ability to love has limits.  The moment Cindy was born I loved her totally and that came as a surprise to me.  It didn't take long to understand that we humans have an infinite supply of love to give and, no matter how many loved ones we have, the supply will never run out.

When I became pregnant with Shelley, I had no fear of how much love I'd have to give to her.  And it's the same with my grandchildren...I love them all equally but maybe differently.  

Kyle will understand one day. 

Grandkids

I'm going to Tampa today to see my daughter, 4 grandkids, and 4 of their significant others.  I was very fortunate in my life to have been able to spend lots of time with most of my grandchildren when they were growing up...Shelley's kids lost out on Gramma time because they were usually living in foreign countries due to John's military career.

I'm lucky for a lot of reasons but being close to my grandchildren took a concerted effort on my part.  I went out of my way to be part of their lives and aways knew I was doing something that would benefit all of us in the future.  Children really need their grandparents and greatgrandparents in their lives.  This is a win/win situation.

You usually can't have a decent relationship with your adult grandchildren if you haven't begun the process when they were young.  I really enjoyed my time with them when they were little because they made me laugh.  I have so many wonderful memories of them as children, so innocent and sweet.  Even though I didn't see much of Shelley's kids, we still managed to create a loving friendship.

I feel very sorry for people who won't make time for their grandchildren because of their own selfish needs.  The grandchildren lose out on getting to know them and an opportunity for an important relationship for all is lost.  I might not agree with everything my children or grandchildren  believe in these days but I'll love them forever anyway.  It was never my right to dictate their lives, but just to be allowed to be part of them.