Talking To Myself

I wonder how many people who live alone begin talking to themselves. For me, it started out kind of slow with things like, "You're such an idiot!" or "What an idiot!", as I made some foolish move. Now it's more like, "Okay, Pat, what's next on the list?" or "Well, I'd better get moving.". In other words, my conversations with myself are expanding.

Years ago, when I had a dog at my feet and talked to myself I'd just pretend I was talking to him. Now there is no dog or any other living creature in my house so I can't fool myself anymore. Can you be senile if you're cognitive enough to think you might be becoming senile?

Neither my grandparents, whom I grew up with, or my mother talked to themselves as far as I can remember so it's not something that comes to all people as they age. I'm not sure it's particularly something to be concerned about but every senior has an ingrown fear of becoming senile. I keep my mind active and my interests varied which should stave off senility but you never know.

Well, I guess there's nothing much I can do about my mind. It's either going to decline or not and I'll try not to worry about it. Besides, if my mind really goes I won't be aware of it, will I?

Bullying

Nobody likes a bully and bullies are really frightened and insecure people under their skin. That said, anyone who has had to bear the insult of being bullied for even a short time will carry the scars forever.

I only remember a few times in my childhood when someone tried to bully me. There was never any danger of me allowing this to happen, though, because I'm too hard headed. One time I remember was when a girl (a very large girl) walked up to me and pushed me because she thought I was after her boyfriend...we were all 13 years old. I responded automatically by punching her in the chest pretty darned hard and she backed away from me quickly. She never accosted me again. Bullies only pick on people who don't fight back and who they can intimidate.

A few years later there was a sort of scrawny little red headed girl in high school that bullies loved to pick on. I'd only heard about it from other kids but this girl wasn't one of my friends so I'd never seen it happen until one day at a dance. I noticed a commotion going on along a wall where there were kids sitting and saw the red headed girl sitting there and being slapped in the face over and over by a girl standing in front of her. The red headed girl just sat there and cringed, not defending herself. I walked over (brave but mad as hell me) and grabbed the assailant's arm and told her to knock it off. She did. Remember, my reputation was that I didn't back down from a bully.

By the way, the little red headed girl grew up to be a beauty, was a Tiger Cat cheer leader, and I heard she went into modeling. No matter, I'll bet she was always haunted by the bullying she'd suffered while in school.

My daughter was being bullied for a while when she was in maybe grade 3. She wasn't an aggressive child but I told her she had to defend herself or the bullying would never, ever stop. She came home a few days later and told me that when the bully came after her that day she'd retalliated by grabbing her by the coat and shaking her so hard her coat buttons ripped off. She never hit that child but the bully left her alone from then on.

A bully only picks on an easy mark!

I don't believe in violence and am very non-confrontational but I firmly believe that if you are being bullied physically you have to fight back hard with everything you have. A verbal bully is more easily ignored and soon they'll leave you and go after someone who gives them a reaction.

Bullying is cruel. A bully is not someone to fear but to pity. Just don't give in to them or they'll zero in on you like a pit bull, though.

There are people who just don't have it in them to fight back, though, and these are people who should have some sort of legal recourse. For children, it should be their parents and school authorities who put a stop to it. For adults, it has to be the legal system. Hard to believe that young bullies grow up to be old bullies but it happens.

There is so much violence in our world...wars, computer games, movies, T.V. shows, the so-called sport of boxing. It's no wonder that kids accept violence as normal because they see so much of it. Maybe it's time to tone down those computer games and T.V. and show more of the gentler side of life.

I guess my message with this blog is to not allow anyone to bully you if you can at all help it. And also to step in and stop a bully from preying on someone else. We really need to be pro-active when it comes to bullying and make it very apparent that it's cowardly and unacceptable by all of us.

Lovin' Him

It's lovely being a greatgramma because I can boast unashamedly about this little guy. He is absolutely precious and just a speck under perfect. He's just recently taken to sticking his finger up his nose but so what!

Nolan will get a new baby brother in March and I'm hoping something fierce that this new little boy will be somewhat near as well behaved and contented as Nolan is. I'm also hoping that Nolan will find it in his heart to be a good big brother and take his little brother under his wing.

Every time I take care of Nolan I spend most of the time laughing or giggling at his antics. He still walks around like a drunken sailor, occasionally tipping over because he doesn't watch where he's walking. He barrels right over toys on the floor so it's no wonder he takes a few tumbles. It's not the tumbles that make me laugh but the expression on Nolan's face...pure confusion about how the heck he ended up laying on the floor. He thinks about it for a moment and then pulls himself to his feet and wanders off.

I adore him and could just look at him all day. He looks so much like his father and that takes me back 25 years to when Nick was his age. I loved and love Nick just as much as I love Nolan so this little baby makes me very, very happy.

I'll be leaving for Florida in another week and be gone until April so Nolan will be a different little boy when I get back home. I'll miss all those milestones such as him finally learning how to talk. Nick promised to send videos on Facebook and I'm looking forward to that. Nolan has been around me fairly often and at my house enough now to feel comfortable here so I hope he doesn't forget it all over the winter. As with my grandchildren, I really want my greatgrandchildren to feel at home when they come to my house.

Nolan knows some very important things about my house. He knows he has a greatgrandmother who loves him; he knows where his toys are kept; he knows where the cookies are kept. When you think of it, what else is important?

New Hairdo

I got my hair cut today and decided at the very last minute to go for a new style. It's a lovely haircut but I'm not sure I like it on me. Maybe it will just take a while to get used to it but I'm never 100% happy with anything on me anymore...hair, clothes, etc. One thing I do like is that my hair is silvering up pretty nicely with some very nice white streaks. I don't mind white hair at all and think it can look as stylish as any other color.

Mary and I got our hair cut and then went out for lunch so it was a lovely, full day spent with one of my favorite people. Mary is the one with the crazy neighbor and her terrible saga is still going on. I've been blessed with the best neighbors in the world, thank heavens, and I always appreciate how lucky I am.

Tomorrow I look after Nolan in the afternoon and I'm anticipating 2 things. One is an aftenoon filled with laughter and fun with the baby. Two is having to wrap at least one of his poopy diapers up tightly in a garbage bag and leave it outside until next garbage pickup day. His poopy diapers are pure toxic waste!

It's been a busy week and I'm looking forward to Friday when I have absolutely nothing to do but clean house.

Hit Hard by the Economy

I only do about 3 jewelry shows in a year and up until today had always made a tiny profit. Today was really crummy and I lost $130. after working a 7 hour day along with my daughter who took the day off her regular job to help me. This is not what I ever expected my little fledgling jewelry business to heap on me.

I've enjoyed selling my stuff and didn't mind too much when the profits were seriously low but taking a big loss like this makes me wonder if it's time for me to retire from the entrepreneur world altogether. It's certainly made me decide not to buy any more stock this winter.

There are 2 vendor stations at the hospital and the lady at the station next to me also lost money so it just might have been a bad day all around. One of the nurses did tell me that payday was tomorrow. I suppose I'll do my days next year and then decide if I want to give up. I really hate giving up an activity that's been mainly fun, though.

I guess I should be thankful that I don't do this for a living.

Latest Swedish Weaving Afghan

This is my latest afghan and it's for me. I took one of the sofa cushions to the fabric store so I could match up the colors for the yarn but I'm thinking it's a little strongly colored for my livingroom. I like it, though, and it will stay for a while.

Picture #1 is the afghan and picture #2 is the table runner. In picture #2 there is a shot of one of my next afghans (for Nicole). I'll actually make one for Aeron first but the yarn for Aeron is in Florida so I'll just work on Nicole's right now.

I love working on these afghans but it's nice to have a runner on the go, too, because they're small enough to take out in the yard to work on. The afghans are over 6' long and sometimes drag on the floor while I'm weaving so I don't like to get them dirty.

Last year I brought about $400 worth of monk's cloth home from Florida because Walmart is gradually discontinuing it's fabric department. I have some of most of the colors available but discovered I don't have much of the ecru. I'll have to buy at least 20 yards of that to bring home and then I'll be comfortable with my stash. This is a hobby I'll do as long as I'm able because it's soul satisfying!

Faye and I thought of maybe teaching Swedish weaving at the senior center but the fabric is way too expensive to buy in Canada and now it might not even be available at Walmart in the States. Joann's Fabrics sometimes has the white and ecru but it's more expensive than at Walmart. I'm very happy I bought that large supply last winter while I could find it.

Tomorrow is my jewelry selling day at the hospital and I'm taking a load of table runners, too. Every single one is beautiful but people don't want to pay high prices so they'll be practically given away. Most people who make crafts to sell can't ever expect to be compensated for their time but that's okay. I love doing the work and that's compensation enough.

Well, on to the next work of art!

Kodak Camera

A few years back I bought a Kodak camera with a dock that attaches to the computer and keeps the camera charged and ready. It was misery for me to learn how to use this thing and that's nothing new. My mind seems to rear back and away from "directions". Once I start to understand a bit then I relax and am able to learn.

My fear of learning how to use any new appliance is so strong that I've bought 4 of these cameras and docks (used) so that I never have to learn how to use a new one. This is either crafty planning ahead or sheer lunacy. Take your pick.

I don't know why I'm so cowed by appliances. Learning and the search for knowledge is second nature to me but not when it comes to something like a camera. They scare the beejeezes out of me. It doesn't matter if I read the directions, either, because they don't seem to explain things in a way I can understand. Believe me, it does give me an inferior complex even though I know there's a fairly well functioning brain in my head.

I used to feel the same way about computers but I've learned that it's very easy to just surf around until I find something that interests me. Before I ever used a computer, I was told the best way to learn how to use one was to just get into it and learn as you go. It's true. Computers don't scare me at all but don't try to sell me a new camera.

Wrinkles

With age comes wrinkles in the skin. Some have more and some have less but it's like death and taxes, one way or another it's going to come at you.

I've never minded the grey hair because you can still style it nicely but there is not one darned thing you can do to eliminate wrinkles without surgery. Not many of us are that vain so we put up with them the best we can.

I noticed a rapid increase in my own wrinkles the year my husband became sick and passed away so I bet stress has something to do with it. I've also read that smoking increases the wrinkles around the mouth. I've never smoked but there are some wrinkles there, too.

My dermatologist has said I'm a good candidate for facial laser treatment and I did give it a moment's thought but realized there's not much sense in having a youthful face and an old body so I won't have it done. Besides, what do I need a more youthful face for? It won't make me a nicer person than I am now.

You hear stupid comments like, "Wrinkles are just a sign that you've lived a full life". Bullfeathers. They're more apt to be a sign that you're carrying faulty genes. One more thing to blame my family tree for, I guess.

One thing about wrinkles is that, if you winter in Florida, you just blend in with the crowd.

The Aqua Buddha

There is a lot of comedy in politics and this is one of the funniest I've heard in a while. A political candidate in Kentucky once did some wild and crazy things as a college student. Surprise? He and a friend, both stoned, playfully "kidnapped" a female student and made her bow down and worship an aqua buddha. Now this stunt is being used against him by the person running against him in the election.

I'd be led to believe that politician #1 is a squeaky clean guy if that's the only thing his opponents can come up with to smear him.

We can all look back on our lives and be embarrassed by some of the antics we were engaged in at one time or other. That's all part of growing up and I don't believe for a second that there is anyone who hasn't done something in their youth to feel foolish about.

I've always loved the looks of Buddha because he appears so kind and benevolent. I'm assuming an aqua buddha is an offshoot of the real thing but I could be wrong. In any case, someone needs to have a sense of humor here and not take college pranks so darned seriously.

Oh wait, this is all about political rivalry...there is no humor, no common sense, no fairness. Silly me.

Why Are We Here?

Because I winter at a senior park, I find more friends there that have sickened over the summer months and can't leave home or else they've passed away. I know this is just a natural process because all of us are in our so called twilight years and closer to the ends of our lives but it still disturbs me to lose them.

My view on life is that we're here for a purpose and not by accident. It's as though we've been given a chance to do something right or to learn something important. I have a hard time making sense of those who die too young but I also wonder why we who reach our senior years have survived. I know for certain that I've become a better person as I've aged but there must be more to it than that.

There is good and bad and indifferent in all ages. People don't become saints just because they've lived a lot of years and it often seems that people are at their best when they're children.

It seems that one of the reasons we are here is to procreate. The maternal and paternal urge is very strong and seems to direct our lives in one way or another. Infertile couples go through hoops in order to become pregnant or else to adopt a child. It's the rare person who doesn't want to produce children.

Another basic drive is to be social and draw as many people as possible into your social circle. Again there are the few loners who buck that theory but they really are a small minority. Only a slight few will even turn away from their own family.

The older I get, the more I wonder what earthly purpose I have to still be here. I don't save lives and I'm not much of a volunteer in anything. Yes, there is still a lot of inferiority in my psyche and I'm often haunted by seeing more productive people pass on. Why them and not me?

When I travel down to Florida this winter, I'll find that a few more didn't make the trip either from illness or death. The ones that do make it will commiserate for a short while and then go on with our lives, drawing as much enjoyment as we can from the time we have left. I try not to dwell on how fleeting our time is.

I'm 70 and when I look back on my life it seems that a million years was packed into the 70. So much happened that it couldn't possibly have taken only 70 years, could it? Would I want to do it all again? No, I'm almost looking forward to the unknown at the end of life because I believe it will only be the end of my life on earth and not the end of me.

I hope there's someone waiting to greet me who can tell me why the heck I was here in the first place.

Neighbor From Hell

Every so often we hear of someone who has the neighbor from hell, one who can't escape their crazy neighbor's disruption to their lives. My friend has such a neighbor. The neighbor happens to be a severely unbalanced elderly lady and that makes it all the more difficult to battle her harrassment.

Mary and Don live in a lovely home situated in a small town. Their house is fairly new so the houses in their neighborhood have been built quite close together. Their's, and the neighbor from hell's, backs onto a no-man's land owned but not maintained by the county.

The trouble began a few years ago when Mary's next door neighbors, also seniors, spread their lovely backyard rock gardens partly out onto the county land. No-one cared except the unbalanced lady who lived on the other side of them. Nothing encroached onto her property but she felt the wild weed infested county land should be left as it was. She made her neighbor's life miserable every time they stepped into their yard and they finally had to sell their house and move away.

Mary and Don, one house up, sided with the rock garden people and thereby drew the "Wrath of Margaret" upon them, too. Don decided to put a little vegetable garden behind his fence and on the county land. Margaret took it upon herself to block his access to the land with huge rocks laid against his back gate so he couldn't open it. He removed the rocks regularly and also mowed the weeds down a bit so he it would look neater where his veggie garden was. Margaret phoned the police to complain about the garden. Of course, nothing came of it.

Margaret would scream from her deck at him and sometimes hide in the bushes waiting for him to go out there and then jump out yelling at him that he was ruining public land...with a veggie garden???

One day Don discovered rods driven into the ground where he had been mowing the weeds. Margaret must have been trying to trick him into ruining his lawnmower. Remember that this is only a tiny area just on the outside of his fence. Don would remove the rods and ignore her rantings but it was beginning to get on his and Mary's nerves.

The other day when Mary drove up to her house she saw her husband soaking wet and sitting on the front porch. He said that he'd been out in his garden and Margaret turned her garden hose on him. The police were on their way. It was time to put a stop to this crazy woman who was making their home uninhabitable and they were finally going to lay charges against her.

The police came and talked to Don and Margaret. They told Margaret that they could arrest her right that moment but chose not to do so. After all, she is elderly and unbalanced...but where does that leave her poor, put upon neighbors?

Did she learn from this episode? NO! Don discovered more half buried rods and removed them as she stood and screamed at him. He ignored her and came into his own yard to talk to another neighbor while Mary went down to close the gate. Margaret was on the other side of the gate and lost her balance, falling on her butt and screaming blue murder. Thank heavens someone other than Don and Mary were there to see it all because a new neighbor came running out, berating them for being mean to Margaret and asked her if she needed an ambulance. It was like the Keystone Cops. Ridiculous!

Margaret, who had only plopped down on soft earth on her behind said that she needed an ambulance so one was called. They came, listened to her ranting and raving as she showed them the offending veggie garden, and they left.

The police arrived. They spoke to Margaret and listened to the same ranting and raving before they left. They didn't even bother talking to Don and Mary. Margaret's husband had earlier escaped in his car for parts unknown.

Mary wants to sell her house and move away.

I don't know what I would do in such a horrible situation. There's no way to reason with an unbalanced person like Margaret and add to that the fact that she's elderly. My fear is that her anger and propensity for violence is escalating and she might do damage to their cars or their home. They can't go out in their yard without Margaret popping out from behind the bushes screaming at them. I will bet that unless she's caught doing actual damage, there is no way to stop her harrassment.

It's such a shame that probably the only way for Don and Mary to get any peace is to sell and move. Pity the unsuspecting buyers.

An Autumn Sunday Morning

I slept in until 8 A.M...a waste of a lovely morning, if you ask me. The sun is shining again and filtering through the trees in my backyard that are just starting to turn to gold. Funny that the tree in the front yard is totally golden and has already lost many of it's leaves.

I always turn on the T.V., probably for the noise, and then settle in at the computer fist thing in the morning so here I am. My coffee sits just to the right of me on the desk, usually getting cold as I browse through e-mails, Facebook, etc.

"Coronation Street" is on T.V. and I'm trying to understand the plot through the thick English accents. I think some of the best acting in the world is done on Coronation Street.

At 9 A.M. I'll phone Sharon and make plans to meet for lunch or coffee, probably at one of the malls. I have to shop for Kim and Cindy's Xmas present today so I won't mention any stores! I've taken care of most of the things that need doing before leaving for Florida and still have lots of time left to clear up odds and ends. I feel comfortable in my space and time and I'm happy.

I don't take my happiness for granted but treasure it and am thankful for it every day. Too many days of my life were spent with darkness of mind but that's the past. These days I'm 99.9% a happy woman who knows she has a heck of a lot to be thankful for. The .1% only occurs when I see a bug in my house.

Anyway, it's a gorgeous Autumn morning that promises to continue to be gorgeous all day long. Life is good!

This and That

I guess my life has been kind of blah for a few days because nothing much has happened to write about. The best thing was looking after little Nolan for part of Friday. He is the most wonderful child in the world!!! Have I said that before?

I'm stil enthralled with the Chilean miners and hoping they make a lot of money out of their ordeal. I'm also hoping that none of them have to go down in a mine ever again but some may actually enjoy the work. If they ever make a movie out of this story, I'm going for sure. Just think of finding out how those 33 men coped with being trapped underground for 17 days, not knowing if anyone could help them and not falling apart from depression or anxiety.

On the home front, I've written about the idiot city council who are so terribly inept at running the city and then I read in the newspaper that one of the councilmen feels that citizens don't want a change of council members. What? Doesn't that idiot hear a word that citizens are screaming at him? I guess the proof will be seen on election day. I voted for a new mayor!

I did a few loads of laundry and then mowed the lawn for the last time until Spring. I enjoy that last mowing just because it's the last one. Leaves are beginning to fill up the yard but my precious grandsons will rake them up and bag them while I'm soaking up the sun in Florida. My next door neighbor will make sure that the bags are carted away and all will be nice when I return. I do feel a little concern that I rely on other people a little too much, though.

Two car alarms disturbed the quiet in the middle of the night so I hope the car thieves ran away disappointed. It would be interesting to know how a thief's brain works. How do they rationalize that it's okay to take what isn't their's? They can't all be brain dead, can they?

It's a perfectly beautiful Autumn day today. Slightly cool but the sun is shining brightly and that alone makes me happy. It makes sense to be a sun worshiper because it's that sunlight that brings us life but, always a downside, too much of it causes skin cancer. Sunshine always lifts my spirits, though, even seen through the window.

Well, my work is done for the day and now I can relax and just wait to watch my favorite T.V. show tonight..."COPS". It hasn't necessarily been a lazy day but it's been pleasant.

Chile's 33 Miners & 5 Rescuers Safe

All of the 33 miners and all of the ultra brave 5 rescuers who entered the collapsed mine voluntarily are safe. They say a record number of viewers around the world watched with rapt attention as the story unfolded live before our eyes. Now they're wondering why so many people followed the story. I can tell you why.

Every day we awaken and turn on the news to see what is happening around the world and every day we're faced with all the evil that humans are capable of doing to one another. As I watched the miner's story and saw how many people used every expertise available to rescue them, I felt hope. As I watched each miner brought to the earth's surface, I felt exhilaration. As I watched their touching and loving reunion with their families, I felt happiness.

I'm not sure how many hours of T.V. covered the story but for every hour I watched, it was an hour that uplifted my spirits. I saw the best of what humans are capable of and it felt good.

I was left with a strong admiration for the bravery of those 33 miners and also the 5 rescuers who put their own lives at risk to enter the collapsed mine in order to facilitate removal of the miners. This will be a story that will go down in history for many reasons.

It will be a day and a story that I'll never forget.

Miracle of the Miners

I watched the news last night with my heart in my throat as that wobbly little capsule brought up the first of 33 miners in Chile who had been trapped underground for more than 2 months after the mine collapsed around them.

It seemed like a miracle that all 33 of these men had survived together in a small open space 2000 feet deep down in the earth. They'd been in darkness other than their headlamps and surviving on sips of water for about 2 weeks of that time before an opening had been made to send them light, food, and water. News footage of their smiling faces, unbelievably good spirits considering their plight, have kept the world hoping and praying that these men would make it out. And last night the first man was brought up, thanks to whoever guides our lives on earth. I knew we were witnessing a miracle.

This morning I awoke hoping all of the men would now have been rescued but only 11 have come up as of this moment. But another miracle was explained to us via a news reporter.

Two of the men were on some sort of electric cart moving through the mine shaft just before the collapse when they spotted a white butterfly that had surprisingly made it's way down to the depths. They stopped to marvel at it's appearance in the mine when, suddenly, the mine collapsed right in front of them. If they had not stopped to look at the butterfly, they would have been crushed under tons of soil and rock. A miracle? You bet!

Seeing the bright and hopeful faces of these men on the news for the past two months, I again am amazed at how upbeat they've kept themselves under the most horrible conditions. To maintain that temperament for more than 2 months when there was no guarantee they would finally be saved is utterly mind boggling. The men are mainly very religious and I'm sure their faith had a major part in giving them peace of mind during their ordeal.

There are still miners to be brought up but I'm sure we'll see miracle after miracle as each of these brave men reach the surface of the earth. What a beautiful story.

Post Script: One of the trapped miners had requested some Elvis Presley music be sent down to them. Now, that guy has great taste!!!

Love Gone

I've been thinking lately about the high rate of divorce and wondering how a couple could be so much in love, marry, sometimes raise a family, and then discover that the love has somehow slipped away. From experience, I know that once love has dwindled, it usually can't be re-ignited. Love gone is love gone for good.

Our partner is never really the person we at first think they are. The eyes of love see only what they choose to see and anything that detracts from our preferred image is easily ignored in favor of more exciting aspects of the relationship. It's almost funny to later on muse over those faults and wonder how we could have been so blind. Sometimes Adonis burps and watches too many sports programs. Those who want only a perfect Adonis might become very disappointed.

I know a lot of senior couples who seem to be happily married and, from what I've surmised, they are obviously committed to each other and just take for granted it's for life. They are friends and sail along as a couple, not as two individuals living together but going separate ways. There appears to be a lot of give and take with happily married seniors and also a lot of love in their eyes when they look at one another.

I guess with some people the love fades away to nothing over the years but with the lucky ones it simply softens. Cher once sang a song about the way to know if your partner loves you that's called, "It's In The Eyes". It really is. You can usually tell if a couple is in trouble by watching their eyes when they look at one another. What you'll see is either warmth or indifference (indifference being the polar opposite of love) and the recipient of those cold, uncaring looks is probably in for a hard, hurtful time in the future.

But does love disappear just because we originally blinded ourselves to faults we can't live with? Or is it a natural evolution for some who grow in non-converging directions than their mate? I read somewhere that people need a new mate every ten years because they develop different needs in those ten years but that would only work for couples who never had a strong commitment in the first place.

I believe a couple must be true friends as well as lovers in order to forge that unbreakable commitment to each other. Friendship can outlast all the other passions we encounter during our lifetime and couples who are not also friends might not make it.

I hate to see marriages crumble but I've never seen it happen overnight. There's a lot of soul searching before a person will choose to go their own way and it's seldom an easy choice to make. There's so much to lose on both sides and for many their future is frighteningly uncertain. But once the choice has been made and the separation set in motion, the possibility of a new life more in accord with one's present needs and wants can be a happy time. It all depends on the determination of the escapee. Life is what you make of it.

I sometimes wonder if "love gone" is really "love that never was", though.

Cuomo/Homosexuality

Big news today. Carl Paladino publicly stated that a person is better to lead a married heterosexual life and some people are screaming homophobia and gay bashing.

Paladino, who is a candidate for governor of New York, spoke his true feelings and they mirror what many, if not most, of us feel deep inside. Why is he not allowed that freedom? He must realize that by airing his beliefs he will lose some gay votes but I'm betting he made the statement to reinforce his right to say it. And he does have the right of free speech.

My view of homosexuality is that it is an abnormal way of life but one that should be accepted simply because no-one has the right to tell you who to have sex with as long as you're both adults. We don't have to like it but we do have to accept it.

My beef is that our society is trying to make it impossible for anyone to speak publicly about what the majority perceive as the truth. If a person believes in his/her heart that homosexuality is abnormal then they have the right to their point of view.

We have to be very careful not to limit the rights of free speech. Paladino's words may have lost him some votes but I'll bet they won some for him, too. The majority rules after all.

There are people who dislike interracial marriage, gays, fat people, anorexics, old people, immigrants, household pets, and even homophobes. Their personal dislikes do not give them the right to cause harm or embarrassment to any of the above but they have the absolute right to feel as they do.

Every day there are people who give speeches about the problems with obesity, illegal immigrants, and gay bashing. Why is it becoming verboten for anyone to speak against homosexuality?

If a gay person can come out of the closet to thunderous applause then why can't a died in the wool heterosexual not have the same right?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving and I wonder how many people celebrate it with the thought they should be giving thanks for all that is good in their lives. Most of us just look forward to a nice turkey dinner with family.

We in Canada have so very much to be thankful for. We live in a country that is not war torn and where no-one needs to go hungry. We live in a country where health care is provided for everyone, rich or poor. We live in a country where every child can attend school.

True, there is crime but most of us can live out our lives without ever becoming victim to it. Our streets our relatively safe. Our life is comfortable because we live in country not rampant with gun toting terrorists. We have a lot to be thankful for when you think about it.

I'm most thankful for the good people in my life who make my life worth living. I'm thankful for the peace of mind I've acquired in old age. And I'm very thankful to be spending this day with family I love!

Election Promises

It's election time again and the candidates are promising us wonderful improvements. Of course, they're lying through their teeth in order to get our vote.

I haven't voted in many years because I have such disdain for politicians but I voted early this year for our mayor. We need a change from mediocrity (much less than mediocrity) and one of the candidates seems a tad more honest than the others so I filled in the blank next to his name. Those who follow our local politics more closely than I do have said he doesn't have a chance in hell but maybe my one little vote will do the trick.

I recently drove along the main street in my area of the city and felt every pothole and patch in the road shake my car to bits and I again wondered why we're building a new sports stadium when our roads are in such bad repair. I don't really expect a new mayor to see the logic here and forego a stadium to repave main arteries in the city but we do need a mayor who can actually run a city. The present mayor is a buffoon, not bad but just useless.

It's interesting to watch the posturing and promises pouring from the lying mouths of candidates. It's no different in every level of government. They make promises they won't keep, they disparage the other candidates while their own closet is full of scandal, and they answer questions with convoluted replies that don't answer the question. It's a freak show that is truly sad because these are the people we put in charge of our lives.

One of the reasons I like President Obama is because he promised great changes in health care and he immediately set about doing just that. It was a revelation to watch the process and see how dedicated he was in pushing the change through. It's not a done deal yet, though.

It irks me to see the rabid crowds of political supporters who gear up in silly hats and scream in ecstasy whenever their politician opens their mouths. They look so silly but I think they really believe their man/woman is the new messiah. How do they feel when he/she proves to have feet of clay and does nothing for the people he/she serves?

We need politics and politicians to keep our world running, maybe not smoothly but at least with some order. They are a curse and a blessing at the same time. I think the only thing that keeps them half way honest is the free press and the small group of people who make it their business to keep tabs on what is and isn't being done. Watch one of those boring city council meetings some time and you'll see what I mean. And then give thanks to that little group who do their best to keep council from completely destroying our city.

Am I confident that a new city council will be any better than the last one? No, but hope is eternal, isn't it?

Biting My Lip on Facebook

I hate to admit it but I think I'm becoming a prude. I'm constantly gasping in shock when I read what my kids and grandkids say on Facebook and then fighting the emotions that attempt to drive me to respond with a "STOP THAT" warning. I want to do that but I won't.

Maybe it's best I don't know exactly what my kids and grandkids are doing or saying. It's pure culture shock for me because I still see them in my mind as sweet and innocent. They might still be sweet but most of them swear and drink. I'm wishing they were still babies and can't seem to associate those babies with adults and adult ways.

I swear and drink but I can't accept that my progeny does the same thing. Now isn't that ludicrous? It doesn't matter, though, because no-one can dismiss how they truly feel and I'd be terribly upset to see any of my babies drunk and I do not want them swearing in front of me. That's just the way it is.

This might be the reason I don't get invited to their parties.

Nolan's Talking

Nolan is 15 months old and starting to say a few words, not exactly what you'd call talking but terrific just the same. I think he's a genius.

I took care of him for a couple of hours this morning and he likes my necklaces because they're colorful. He was sitting on my lap and checking out the one I was wearing and I said, "pretty". He looked right at me, smiled, and said, "pitty". I can't tell you how much it warms the heart and fills me with wonder to watch this little guy learn and develop each day. I'm sure he'll be talking a blue streak when I get back home in April so I'll be missing a lot with him over the next 6 months.

Watching a baby grow and develop is like watching magic happen. Birth is already a miracle when you think about how a little seed is fertilized inside a woman and grows into a perfect human being. These precious little babies grow up learning how to behave in the world mainly by watching their parents so it's important for the parents to be suitable. How some children of terrible parenting grow up to be responsible adults is another miracle.

I love this baby. Sometimes I think about how he carries some of my genes but it wouldn't matter one bit if he was totally unrelated to me, I'd love him just as much. I don't know if he's bonded to me at all but there's not a shadow of a doubt that I'm tightly bonded to him. Just looking at his sweet little face makes me weak in the knees.

Nolan is a lucky little boy because he has excellent parents, grandparents, etc. His role models are all worthy people so there's no reason he shouldn't grow up well. He's already the best behaved baby in the world and a genius to boot. And I'm not biased!

A Do-Nothing Day

My house is neat and clean (not counting the furor that always surrounds my computer desk) and I have nothing of note to do today. It's the sort of day that makes the casino call out to me but I can't afford to go. Faye, Mary, and I have a free room at the Fallsview casino later this month and that's where my casino dollars will be spent.

I've always loved these do-nothing days. Of course, there's always something that could be done but nothing here that is screaming for attention so I'm just going to enjoy the leisure. Years ago, I had many do-nothing days that made me feel guilty because there really was work that needed doing but I chose to ignore. Those were the depression years and my mindset was one where I was too sad to enjoy anything. Now, I'm a happy camper who takes pleasure in doing whatever I'm doing...either working hard or having a do-nothing day.

I slept in late this morning. This has become a nasty habit since I had my cold last week and one I don't want to keep. Early mornings are invigorating for me because it gives me lots of time to fiddle around with the computer before I actually have to get some work done around the house. It's also pleasing to watch the sun rise and light up the world.

Do-nothing or not, I still make plans for how I'll spend the day. I'm thinking that lunch out sounds good and then some Swedish weaving. I also need to make a few phone calls in preparation for my trip to Florida. It's still cloudy and damp out with threat of another rainfall so I'll wait a few days to plant the seeds Donna brought over. With luck, there'll always be another day to do whatever needs doing...just not today.

Rainy, Damp, Cold

This is the kind of day that I hate the most. There is no sunshine, it's raining a cold rain, and I had to go to the dentist for a cleaning.

Now I'm back home in my nice warm house but it's so dismal looking outside...close to time to go to Florida! Donna is coming this afternoon for Swedish weaving but Faye, as usual, has double booked herself and has chosen her computer course over our weaving. Who ever said that seniors have lots of time on their hands wasn't referring to someone like Faye.

I got a lot done on my afghan last week because I was sick and vegetating on the sofa most of the time. It just might possibly be finished before the end of the month. Aeron's is next on my list but the yarn for her afghan is in Florida so I might start one for Nicole instead. There's no end to the number of people I can make them for, thank heavens, and I love making them.

Well, on a day like this there's nothing better to do than weave pretty, colorful designs into monk's cloth and that's what I intend to do.

Blood Work Done/Good

Since 2007 I've had to go once a year to the cancer clinic to have my bloodwork done. That year I had a regular check-up and some irregularity was found in my blood and I was told I had a very mild case of CLL...Chronic Lymphatic Leukemia. It scared the wits out of me for a while until I understood that this was something so slow moving that it could take decades before it needed treatment.

Today I had my yearly blood work done and it remains almost exactly what it was 3 years ago so I guess they were right. My doctor said my levels are so close to normal that the yearly check-ups could be done by my family doctor instead of me having to go to the cancer clinic. Now, this would have been good news but my wonderful family doctor is very close to retirement and I don't like the doctor who will take his place.

For whatever reason, seniors have a difficult time finding a new family doctor. I couldn't believe it when I found out that a family doctor has the right to refuse a new elderly patient because "they require more attention". Since doctors are paid per visit, regardless of who the patient is, why would this be a problem for them?

I chose to stay with the cancer clinic doctor for my bloodwork and will continue to pay the darned $15 parking fee once a year in order to do so. My family doctor is a treasure and I've been fortunate to have him and his caring, knowledgeable ways for 35 years. I don't like his replacement but I seldom need a doctor anyway so I guess I'll just have to take what I get when my own doctor retires.

The good news is that my bloodwork is fine and I don't have to have it done for another year.

Life After 70

There's nothing like the funeral of one of your peers to set you thinking about your own lifespan. There's no fair system where your number comes up after a period of time or lifestyle. It's more like someone randomly draws your name out of a hat and down you go.

I honestly feel I've had more than my fair share of years on earth so anything more is a bonus. It's more time to spend with my loved ones and I feel very fortunate to be here. I often think that if something bad were to happen to them that I'd give myself in their place without a second thought.

When I think of life after death, I think of the time right after my husband's death when I saw what I've assumed was his soul leaving his body. That unexpected moment reinforced my belief that our bodies are only resting places for our souls and that the body's death doesn't mean finality. We're all afraid of the unknown and I believe that's the only fear we have of death as we age but it helps if we truly believe that we'll go on somewhere else. I do.

I don't remember if I wrote this before but I've set my death at age 89. Of course, if I reach that age and still want to hang around for a while then I just might adjust it. Wouldn't it be nice if we really had such a choice?

The Funeral

Today a group of my family is going to my daughter's mother-in-law's funeral. She was not yet 69 and hit suddenly with a devastating illness that took her so darned quickly. It's left us feeling a sort of shock that someone like her, whose personality was larger than life, could really be gone from this earth in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

We always want to say something of comfort to the deceased's immediate family and I've thought about the things I could say..."I'll miss her", "She was a good person", "She was mother earth", etc.

What I'd really like to say is that she was a true character. In her obituary, her children wrote about her "passion" for life and that was very fitting. She was not a wallflower but someone who led. She was the only one you saw in a crowded room because she was in command of it. She was so many things...hard worker, artistic, gardener, lover of family. But she did all of these things in a huge way as though she always had more energy than ten people.

She left behind a husband she adored and who adored her. She left behind children, inlaws, and friends who felt the same way. She lived her life like a dynamo and now she's gone.

I feel much the same as I did when my husband died. Where did all of that energy and zest for life go? How can someone so charismatic just be no more?

I guess it's one of those unanswerable questions.

Past Script: Like most funerals, this one held a close group of shell shocked family, still reeling from the loss of their loved one. The funeral home was filled with friends and family coming to pay their respects. The family had put up large bulletin boards with pictures taken over the years and in happier times. Donna's smiling face shone out of most of them and usually her beloved husband was nearby. Neil was the quiet one and she was gregarious with a capital "G". I saw for the first time a picture of her when she was just a young woman and she looked so much like Joan Baez...beautiful and strong.

I asked my daughter when the family would be burying the ashes and Kim cried as she tried to tell me the urn would be going home with the family, to be kept until Neil passed away. At that time, the ashes (his and hers) would be mixed together and then buried. That's how close this couple was. The deepest of love in life that would transcend death.

And again I wondered how so much love, so much spirit could die. But it doesn't and it hasn't.

Reorganizing

I spent part of the morning reorganizing the jewelry stock I'll be taking to MUMC later this month. I've been taking everything I have and it all weighs too much to cart around so I got smart, so I thought, and repackaged some to take and some to leave at home.

Now I only need one suitcase instead of 2 but the one suitcase is still full and weighs the same as before. I'm not sure if this is an improvement. I may have to rethink my logic here.

My cold is pretty much gone but I still have some of the symptoms such as swollen sinuses and a slight cough. I'm just happy that it didn't hang around too long. My nettie pot is in Florida so I can't flush out my sinuses...by the way, that really works for anyone with sinus problems. Each winter I get a severe cold that affects my sinuses for a long time after it's over and using the nettie pot helps soothe and reduce the irritation. Nettie pots cost about $10 and can be bought at Walmart.

Now I've completed my big job for the day and there is nothing pressing that needs doing so I'm going to lounge in front of the T.V. for a while. Life is good.