Is Everyone Offended?

I really get very tired of hearing how someone is offended by one thing or another.  The latest is the natives being offended by a particular Halloween costume of a native dress that is sort of sexy.  My response to that is...it's only a damn costume!  We are all offended by something, I guess, but shouldn't we save our fury for things that really matter?  There are children in the world starving and being molested.  There are veterans who can't get the medical help they need.  There are families being slaughtered because of their religion.  The list is endless.  

These pitiful bandwagons that some people jump on drive me nuts.  Natives have a hell of a lot more to be protesting against than a fiddlin' Halloween costume that's just a tad racy.

"Politically correct" promoters who want us all to live vanilla lives that can't possibly offend anyone offend the hell out of me!

Oops, should I have said vanilla?  Maybe it's on the list of things that offend someone.  I don't give a royal you know what!  

I Was Right!

The euphoria I felt was accurate.  Kim just got her first client, one she might have to work full time for but there's also the possibility of part-time.  Either way, it's great news!!  She's now heading in the direction she charted for herself.

My take on ESP is that all dynamics of life can be coming together and, if your mind is open to receiving those dynamics, you can assess whether or not they bring good news or bad.  This is just my theory.

There's been a lot of unsettling events in our lives lately but our family is solid steel and super supportive of each other.  I also believe that family strength like this will draw success and happy endings.  Those are the vibes we open ourselves up to and right now they're filling us up.

I'm beginning to ready myself for leaving for Florida.  I pulled out the large suitcase and laid it open on the bed in the spare bedroom and will begin filling it up.  I bought coffee for the Keurig and left it in the car trunk, too.  None of our luggage will go in the trunk so there's lots of room in there for anything else I want to take.  I'm not going to be doing much Ebay any more so the trunk won't be filled with goods to sell.  This might be the first year I go to Florida without a fully packed car.

I still can't gather up too much excitement about wintering in Florida this year but now that Kim seems to be set I can relax and enjoy it even while missing Sylvia.  Change is constant and we either accept what we can't change or let it ruin our day.  

As a mother, I can only be comfortable if my children, granchildren, and greatgrandchildren are on a safe and happy path in life.  Today they seem to be doing fine and today is all we can count on.

Life is good.

Good Things Are Coming

There's something in the air here and I can feel it in every fiber of my being.  I really like it when this happens because it's like waiting for Christmas morning, full of excited anticipation for something wonderful.

I have and accept my ESP and that's why I have it.  If you don't believe in ESP and open your mind to it, you won't experience it.  I actually count on it at times and when it's very strong as it is today, I know good things are about to come my way.  What they'll be is another thing entirely.

ESP is not always a good thing because it can also fill you with dread.  You don't know what awful thing is lurking in your life but you know something just isn't right.  I prefer the joyful ESP I'm feeling right now.  I hope I'm right!

Kim is meeting with a client today who just might be her first.  I hope this explains my happy intuition. 

Ups and Downs

It seems there's always something to worry about.  Usually, problems work themselves out and nothing builds up to the horror you worried it could.

This week so far has been full of ups and downs for me.  First Cindy got sick and then she got better.  Then I got sick and then I got better.  Today Kim might have acquired her first client...she finds out tomorrow.  I'll worry until tomorrow.

A Little Bit Sick

Our bodies are such amazing vessels and we don't appreciate their everyday workings.  But, as soon as one little organ goes awry, we notice right away.

I feel mentally sluggish because of an upset stomach.  I don't know if it's something I ate that didn't agree with me or if I have the flu.  All I know is that my body is not working with precision as it should.

We take these bodies for granted, hardly paying attention to how synchronized each organ is to each other, how they work in harmony to keep us healthy and alive.  

I'm not seriously ill, just feeling a little punk and I'm expecting I'll feel much better tomorrow.   Now I'm going to bed early because rest heals most illnesses.     

When A Grown Child Is Sick

It doesn't matter if your child is 5 or 50, you're going to worry yourself to death when they get sick.  You'll fret until they're well again and that's all there is to it.  It's the way mothers were created and, as far as I know, it's genetic.

Now, when an adult child is sick and their mother calls to see how they are, they should always take the call because all hell breaks loose in their mother's mind if her call goes unanswered.

Even the sound of a sick child is better than being told by a mechanical voice to leave a message.  You know that message is going to sound like a crazy woman in a panic so it's better to answer right away.

My children can never get seriously ill because it would kill me.  Either I'd die from worry or they'd kill me for hounding them.  Either way, they have to stay healthy as much for my sake as their own.

Dumpster Diving

Well, not exactly dumpster diving but he was clearing out the cans from the recycling box.  This isn't an isolated incident in Canada but it seems to scream out that some people have to resort to raiding garbage cans in order to sustain themselves.  These are the invisible people in our society who venture out in the wee hours of the morning to try to make a buck any way they can.  It may not be legal to raid garbage cans but it's not criminal in my mind.  In a perfect world, everyone would have a decent roof over their heads and nutritious food to eat.  In a perfect world, there would be adequate jobs for everyone and everyone would want a job.  This is far from a perfect world and I wonder if it ever will be.

The man I saw collecting cans had a grocery cart crammed full of large garbage bags which I assumed were filled with cans he'd obtained from other apartment complexes.  He seemed neatly and cleanly dressed and he didn't look like a street person.  I've lived poorly in my life but never came to the point where I'd even consider collecting cans to help with the bills.  Either I was too proud or this man is much poorer than I've been.  I wonder what his story is.

My husband often worked two jobs to support his family but I would have been horrified if he'd dumpster dived.  But I bet he would have done even that if his family was hungry.  He would have done whatever it took.  

I like to think that no-one has to do that in Canada but I'm obviously wrong.  I can only think that it happens because somewhere, somehow, there's a home without enough necessities of life or it wouldn't be happening at all.

We fortunate ones reside in our little cocoon of comfort and we try not to see the far less fortunate among us.  But they are there, in the shadows and in the early morning hours gathering our discarded pop and beer cans just to survive.

Life Goes On

We've had a few marriages break up in our family so it shouldn't come as too big a shock when another one bites the dust.  It happens and life goes on.  But it's never an easy adjustment because there is no such thing as a complete break-up where everyone happily goes their own way.  There is usually collateral damage.

The collateral damage in this case happens to be two little boys that are dearly loved by all family members on both sides.  I want them to be able to adjust and not suffer too much from the changes in their little lives that they have no control over.  I can only hope that all family members involved will do their best to see that happens...I believe they will.

If every single marriage break-up made the welfare of the children their prime concern, then divorces wouldn't be so unsettling.  Living in an unhappy home isn't good for the children in the first place so having a good relationship with both parents who happen to live separately isn't such a bad thing.  

Only time will tell, but my little guys have both a loving mother and a loving father whose priority is the children.  It should work out fine. 

I Like Baseball

I can watch baseball because I pretty well understand the rules but never stuck with other sports long enough to learn them.  Shelley was her father's partner, watching games on T.V. and commentating back and forth.  It was sweet to see father and daughter having this in common and I know it made him very happy.  Cindy was always into sports, too, but I don't remember her watching the games with him.

I tried but apparently I asked too many questions about the sports I wasn't familiar with and he made it pretty clear that my constant chatter wasn't appreciated.  How else was I to learn, though?

Anyway, I like baseball but tend to only watch the final games in the series.  They're usually most exciting because it's the end of the season.  I'm looking forward to tonight's game which I'll be watching all by myself.   

I Won

As much as gamblers shy away from publishing their losses, we do like to blast it out to the world when we win.  I won!  Faye, Mary, and I went to Fallsview yesterday and I came home with $535 more than I went with.  What a thrill to watch one machine in particular spew out a huge win.

Usually when I win it means I'll allow myself one more casino trip that month.  After all, we have to give the casino a chance to win their money back, don't we?  But I've got too much going on this month and I'm really not interested in another casino day...at least not until November before I head south.

Anyway, it was nice to win but I know in my heart that I've lost a thousand times more than I've ever won.  At least I'm realistic and know my limits.  

Canada's New Prime Minister

Today Canada has a new prime minister, Justin Trudeau.  I didn't vote but, if I had, I probably would have voted Liberal for him.  There's no doubt our country needs someone strong at the helm who has Canada's best interests at heart and a lot of hope is riding on young Justin.

I don't trust politicians and I'm assuming Justin is as crooked and inept as all the others but I do have a slightly open mind at the moment and a tiny hope that he will be good for the country.  The Liberals won by a landslide mainly because people were fed up with Harper and the Conservative government.  But this is the way it always goes.  We become fed up with whatever party is in power because they usually don't give a damn about the common people.  Then we band together like lemmings and elect the opposing party...this time it's Liberals.  Most of us don't ever seem to give up even though it's proven time and time again that we can't trust any of the parties.

Ah well, we'll just wait and see if Justin Trudeau is up to the job of being a great leader.  We need one.

Stones

My sweet Aeron asked me what I'd like her to bring back for me from her trip.  I told her a stone from one of the temples.  I meant even a little stone from the rubble beside a temple...it didn't really matter as long as the stone was somehow connected to the temple.

I don't understand why I get a vibration from a simple stone but I do.  I can hold that stone and envision the sights it has been part of over thousands of years.  Is this a gift?  I don't know but it always comforts me as I connect with times long past so it isn't a curse.

I have a stone here from one of the Mayan temples in Mexico and it radiates peace and life.  It humbles me with what it has been part of.  I don't detect the wars and sorrows, only the everyday.

I think I mentioned that I have to touch walls when I've been around ancient buildings or ruins.  I feel a buzz and pictures of that wall when it was built will flood through me.

Maybe I'm nuts but just maybe I'm very intuitive.

Driving Miss Daisy

Because I can't see to drive at night, it's becoming a necessity for my family to pick me up for certain events and then drive me home.  I hate this so much...and I've finally figured out why I hate it.  It's a preview of what to expect as I grow older and reach a time when I can't drive at all.  And it's a reminder that my independence is slowly coming to an end.

I hate it!

Lunch With Cindy & Kyle

I regularly have lunch with Cindy but today was extra special because Kyle joined us, too.  Just as mothers often see only the child in their adult offspring, I can't look at my grandson, Kyle, without seeing the beautiful little boy with blonde hair and sand ringed lips.  He used to eat sand when he was a little boy.

We had lunch at "The Power House" and it was so good!  I had fish and chips...the fish was one of the best I've ever had.  We ate and gabbed for quite a while longer than we'd planned because Cindy had an appointment at 2 P.M.  There was no way she could make it so I begged her to accept she'd be late and not drive like a maniac to get there.  She drove me nicely to my apartment but I can't guarantee she drove that carefully when she left.

I was so lucky to have quality time with most of my grandchildren and formed bonds that will remain forever.  I knew them when, so to speak.  I changed diapers and cleaned snotty noses so I paid my dues and deserve to have this lovely relationship with my babies.

I pity the people who have no interest in their grandchildren or greatgrandchildren.  They have no idea how much they've lost by not being close to their progeny.  I love mine dearly!

Homeless With Food Stamps

What I love most about the internet is that I can usually find answers to the myriad questions that pop into my mind every day.  Someone posted on Facebook that people who receive food stamps shouldn't be able to use them in restaurants.  Now, this sounds sensible on the face of it but not when you think for a moment.

Because I don't instantly trust as truth everything I read on Facebook, I did some research and, yes, some states allow food stamps to be used in select restaurants.  It makes common sense that this shouldn't be allowed for people who live in homes but what about homeless people?

I also read that approximately 10% of all groceries bought in the U.S. is bought with food stamps.  That kind of surprised me because there has to be more than 10% of the population living below the poverty line.  

Back to the homeless people.  If they couldn't use their food stamps in restaurants, where would they cook groceries?  I might be wrong but I think food shelters only serve meals once a day so something has to be provided for the rest of the day, doesn't it?

It seems as though allowing people who live in homes or apartments to use their food stamps in restaurants is counterproductive but it makes perfect sense to allow homeless people to do that.  Logic tells me that the government would have no difficulty at all creating separate food stamps for both levels of poverty.  I wonder if any of those government hacks ever thought of doing this?  

I come from a poor family but everyone worked so I've never had to ask for welfare but I understand that the average person is just one paycheck away from it.

Something to think about.  

Well Slept

I've had sleep problems for most of my life.  They had a severe effect on my life when I was younger and couldn't count on a nap to save me but now I can nap whenever I feel like it.

Sleepless nights will hound me for a few days...no reason/no worries/no frets.  It isn't comfortable going through these times but I know that sooner or later my sleep patterns will rearrange themselves to give me a proper sleep.  A little worry is that they will never rearrange themselves!

I remember the day I started taking an anti-depression medication for the first time.  I hadn't had a proper sleep in probably 20 years but that first night I slept like a lamb, waking up to sunshine.  What a thrill.  I was able to discontinue anti-depression medication a long time ago and that's when I began having these sporadic sleepless nights.  I'm just thankful it doesn't happen all the time because they sure ruin your day.

I slept like the proverbial lamb last night because I was pretty well exhausted from a week of poor sleep so I hope this will continue for a while.  It's amazing how refreshed one feels after a good night's sleep.  Today I feel like I could accomplish anything I choose.  Funny, I choose to do not much.  

Alzheimer Loss

Joyce is one of my most loved in-laws and she has beginning Alzheimers.  She still has a pretty good long term memory but it's the short term memory that starts to fail the patients first.  We've learned to accept an often repeated question or comment from her as though it's the first time heard because that's the kindly thing to do.  She's helpless to change the course of this terrible illness so her loved ones' job is to make her life as comfortable as possible.

The last time I saw Joyce was in June (?) at Gary's memorial service and she was as beautiful as ever but a spark was gone.  My constant fear that she won't remember me hasn't happened yet but I know it will break my heart when it happens.

Faye invited me to her house for dinner today and Joyce and Larry will be there, too.  I have been blessed in this life with a lot of wonderful in-laws and I'm looking forward to dinner today with 3 of them!

When I began dating Dennis, it was Joyce who kindly took me under her wing and gathered me into their family.  It was a kindness I'll never forget.  She calls me her "little sister" and it warms my heart to hear that.

If you ever wondered how seniors become so strong, it's because we deal with so many losses as we age.  We deal with them and carry on because it's either that or wither and die.  I hate that I'm losing my beloved Joyce to this damned, horrible disease but you can bet I'll enjoy this day I get to spend with her.

    

The Immortal Mist

In 2005 I saw a mist/fog leave my husband's body about 15 minutes after he passed away.  I had no idea what it was at the time but began researching it on the internet.  It's not a common occurrence but not a rare one, either, and can occur in slightly different forms.  

I found a website dedicated to the phenomena and receive regular updates from people experiencing it for the first time.  It's very interesting.  The mist/fog is very likely the soul leaving the body...but that's my opinion and no-one knows for certain.

I was holding my mother's hand when she passed away and actually felt the life force leave her body but didn't see the mist.  That's another interesting phenomena...the feeling of a hand when the person is alive and then when they've passed.  It makes you value life more when you experience this. 

Because of what I saw when my husband passed away, it has changed my life immeasurably for the better.  Our sometimes crazy mortal lives make a lot more sense now.  We're here to learn.  We are free souls temporarily inhabiting a body that will deteriorate in time.  The future may be unknown to us but there really does seem to be one.

So enjoy your day and make the best of it.  If you can't do good, at least don't do any harm.   

Feeling a Little Crappy

When our little worlds don't drift along peacefully, it does make us feel sort of helpless and sad.  And it takes a good jab in the memory to realize we can't control everything that happens in our lives.  I especially hate that expression, "go with the flow", because I often don't like the flow and don't want to follow it anywhere.

I'm trying to bring harmony back into my life right now and succeeding quite well.  It will get better because I've gathered so many good people around me and that's the cure.  All those good people make me laugh and make me feel worthwhile.  I'm very thankful.

No, I'm not "going with the flow" but creating my own flow as it were.  Again, it's the choices we make that determine what path our life will follow and I'm choosing the roads of peace and harmony.   

Flowers

Sylvia bought me this lovely bouquet of carnations and they sit prettily on the window sill next to my desk.  I love cut carnations best of all because they last so long.  I used to buy them for myself about once a month until they seemed to get too expensive.  I've decided to buy them anyway now and to hell with the expense.  They pay for themselves in making me happy.

When you consider how much I lose every month gambling compared to $5 spend on beautiful flowers that will bring me joy for 3 whole weeks, it's a no brainer.

I've used one of my gorgeous carnival glass vases, too, and it usually sits inside the china cabinet doing nothing but looking pretty.  The sweet little glass toadstool I bought at "The Birdies Nest" last week sits next to it here.  I love glass, whether it's colored or clear and carnival glass is my favorite.

When Ferne was very elderly and senile, she perked up when we put a cat in front of her which stirred past memories.  When I'm very elderly and senile, I hope my family puts a beautiful glass vase of carnations in front of me to perk me up! 

Thanksgiving Dinner #2

I had my second Thanksgiving dinner yesterday and met a whole new family.  It's so nice how traditional dinners such as Thanksgiving tend to bring families together, often family members who don't always see each other too often.

It was another massive dinner which tells me I probably shouldn't weigh in this week.  I'm sure Sylvia will understand.  The food was excellent and the company was very pleasant and inviting.  

Now I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner #3 when I get to Florida!  I love turkey!!

Aeron's Fantastic Trip

My precious granddaughter, Aeron, leaves today for a 6 week trip to Thailand, Viet Nam, and Cambodia.  She'll be travelling with 3 other people but to say I'm nervous about this trip is an understatement.  I'm way too timid to take chances like this...travelling in foreign countries...but, on one hand, I'm pleased she'll have a terrific experience and, on the other hand, I'd prefer she'd stay safely at home.  So torn!!

Aeron is a smart cookie.  She won't take dangerous chances or foolishly get herself into dangerous situations so I shouldn't worry too much.  But she's a beautiful young woman and will definitely draw the attention of those foreign men and that's what worries me most.  She's travelling with another woman and 2 male friends so I hope they're strong, muscular men!

It's interesting to watch my progeny moving through life and doing so many things that I never had the opportunity or courage to do myself.  I honestly do want more for them than I had.

Cindy had an early Thanksgiving dinner for the family yesterday and it was a full house with both her and Don's families.  I met Aeron's boyfriend for the first time and he seems like a real sweetheart, so supporting of Aeron and this trip.  This generation seems to have gotten it straightened out, unselfishly supporting the dreams and interests of each other.  At least, that's what I'm seeing in my own family.

My sweet Aeron, I anxiously await your return home with stories of your fabulous adventure.  I won't see you now until the spring because I leave for Florida before you get back but you can bet I'll be following you on Facebook and by e-mail.  I love you to the moon!   

Not a Good Day

I vowed a long time ago that I would never put myself in the position of being treated badly ever again and I've kept that promise.  Very few people in my life have made it necessary for me to keep my distance and I'm grateful for that.  It's never easy to decide that someone in your life causes you too much sadness or hurt but, if they do, then the day has come to step back.  How far back will be the question.

Some people believe that we should put up with whatever family spits at us but I don't.  I believe that a loving family member would never insult me even if I held different opinions than they do.  There's a way of discussing without insulting and that's the way we should treat everyone even if they're not family.

A line has been crossed that has changed the course of a relationship and that's very sad.  

Sylvia's Here!

Sylvia arrived last Tuesday and I've been running her ragged since she got here.  Kim drove me to the airport because there was a good chance it would be dark for the ride home and I can't see to drive in the dark.  Kim is such a treasure and gives of herself sometimes to a fault.  Anyway, I appreciate everything she does for me!

Sylvia settled in right away and never complained about the crowded bedroom she's using.  It's neat but holds a lot of my craft supplies...even in the closet so she had to hang her clothes in the front coat closet.

Wednesday we (Faye, Sylvia, and I) met Sheila for lunch in Oakville.  We hung around that restaurant for hours just gabbing and laughing.

We drove out to Mary's on Thursday with Faye and Donna and had a lovely time.  I've never gone there on a day trip before because it's a 2 1/2 hour drive there and back.  Lunch out, of course, at our favorite little Chinese restaurant in Ridgetown.

Friday was kind of crummy weather so we hung out around the apartment most of the day.  I got a little Swedish weaving done...I've been working slowly but steadily on my latest afghan.  We did get out for lunch at Five Guys with Norma.  Lots of laughs there!!  Then we went to Kim's for tea and cookies.

Saturday was another kind of crummy day but we had to stay home anyway because Matt and Kelly came for a visit in the afternoon.  Matt took my air conditioner out of the window.  It's that time of the year!!

Sunday Sylvia and I went to church in the morning.  It was a so nice because Sylvia's religion is very important to her and I could use the experience!  Kim was waiting for us when we got home to take us back up to Five Guys for lunch and then to the movies..."The Intern" with Robert DiNiro.  An okay movie plotwise but and excellent movie for the acting.  Then we went to Cindy's for dinner...Aeron was there, too.  I got to nibble on the special dessert I'd been begging for and it was worth all the calories I consumed!

Our days have been kind of tiring for us old gals so we've been fighting to stay awake until 10 P.M.  We watched a Meryl Streep movie that ran until 10:30 and I'm sure both of us fell asleep the second our heads hit our pillows.

Today, unfortunately, is another cloudy day but not as cold so I've got a load of laundry in and then we'll have lunch out so I can pick up a prescription.  We've honestly had a couple of meals here but we tend to eat a large lunch and then aren't too hungry at dinnertime.

The plans for tomorrow are to go to Niagara Falls with Sheila and Donna.  It might be cloudy but it will be warm so it should be a perfect day for the trip.  I would have taken Sylvia to see Niagara Falls even if it was pouring rain because it's one of the wonders of the world and not to be missed.

Wednesday should be nice, too, but I have to be at the Senior Center at 3:30 to wait in line and register for the craft show.  Kim is picking us up and dropping me off at the center and then taking Sylvia to visit with Faye and Marilee.  She'll pick me up after I get registered (have no idea how long that will take) and I'll visit at Faye's for a short while before Kim drives Sylvia and me home.  Thank heavens for good daughters and I have 3 of them!

Thursday will be a sad day because that's when Sylvia heads back home to Mickey.  I know he misses her terribly but I'm going to miss my lovely friend, too.  I plan to visit her next September and I'm really looking forward to having them show me their beautiful province.  I've been to Nova Scotia before but it seemed like a whirlwind trip through it so this time it will be a more relaxed trip.  I'd like to continue our back and forth trips for as long as our health holds out but nothing lasts forever and I'm just going to enjoy the special times we get to spend with each other and be thankful we're such good friends.