Beatles Impersonators

They weren't very good and Faye, Mary, and I tried analyzing just wasn't good about them. These were some of the reasons we came up with...disconnected from each other, not much enthusiasm, a little too old, and I also thought the costumes were cheesy. I don't know why a group of 4 musicians would get together to impersonate the Beatles if they weren't crazy about what they were doing.

Every end of April for the last 5 years, Mary has secured us tickets to see an impersonator show. I think it started out with Elvis impersonators because all 3 of us are devout Elvis fans but we've also seen ABBA impersonators, too.

On the night of the show, we go out early for a nice dinner and then on to the show. We usually go back to my house and sit for a few hours chatting and enjoying a few drinks and snacks. It's a really nice evening and I look forward to it every year. When I was younger, Dennis discouraged me from having girlfriends so it's only been in my later years that I was able to discover how much fun a bunch of good lady friends can be. A really good lady friend is one who knows you inside out, knows your secrets, and loves you anyway.

Mary stayed overnight because she lives too far away to drive home late at night. This morning we lounged around for the most part but then met Faye for lunch and a little shopping at the mall. A couple of relatives found us there and also my daughter's niece came by. You tend to run into at least a few people you know when you go to the mall.

Faye headed home so Mary and I went to an Indian clothing store. I found a lovely outfit I loved but it was way too small and the saleslady wasn't too helpful in finding me a fabric kit in a similar style. I love Indian saris and kameezes but don't want much beading on one for myself. Now I'm thinking of making a few plain outfits for myself . I used to sew a lot of clothes years ago and the tunic and pant outfits are a very simple style and oh so comfortable.

Don, the handyman phoned and promised to be here on Monday night to look at my list of things needed doing. The darned list is growing! I need the eavestroughs cleaned, new kitchen backsplash tile, a new bathroom in my bedroom, 4 new shutters, and the front doorknob fixed or replaced. The front porch, which is a major job, can't be completed until late May because Don needs a certain temperature for curing whatever he plans to fix the concrete with. Maybe Kim is right and my house has become a money pit. At this point, I really don't care because I want my home fixed up and that's all there is to it.

William and Kate

I'm not a royalty fan. The whole concept of a royal family whose descendants, regardless of ability, are supported by the people in grand style just because of their heritage is archaic. But I do like Prince William...because he looks so much like his mother. I felt that Diana was a breath of fresh air to the royal family but they weren't able to stand her vast popularity. She was just a little too human for them.

Anyway, even though I love to see Prince William's smile (so much like his mother's), I have no interest in watching the wedding. We'll see and hear more than we want on T.V. over the next few months and I'll end up accidently watching the whole thing over and over whether I want to or not. The powers that be will throw in snippets of the wedding inbetween bombing scenes from around the world just to pacify the populace for a moment.

I wish them the best and hope they turn out to be more like Diana than the other side of the family. Diana was a lovely lady who deserved better than she got from England's "royal" family.

Wind Damage

I'm finding more and more that you are given with one hand and have it taken away with the other. I found out today that I'm getting an income tax refund of $752...whoopee!...and a couple of hours later found out that the ghastly winds we had today ripped off one of my shutters and damaged it beyond repair. I wonder how much 4 new shutters will cost?

Again, there is always something to be thankful for. My neighbor found the shutter near her driveway and we're both very happy her car wasn't there when the shutter went flying.

The Tail Of The Tornadoes

I woke up this morning to the sound of gale force winds whipping around my house. This often happens in this area after tornadoes have ripped through the States...it's like we get the edge of the storm.

The winds are so strong that they're making the large trees in the yard dance like drunken sailors, thrashing around like no tomorow. One good thing about winds like this is that they break the deadwood off the trees and that means less pruning for me to do. The grass is littered with it.

I haven't done any work in the yard yet because it's been too cold and rainy so I was surprised to see the large patio table unlashed from the deck rail. Every fall I put the patio table on it's side and lash it to the rail to keep the glass top safe from falling hail or branches. Right now the wind has broken the ties from one side and the table has rolled away from the rail. Strong damn winds to do that! This is in sort of a protected area, too.

On the bright side, it's nice at this time of the year to see the leaf buds coming forth and the forsythia is a golden spot of color out there. Of course, the grass is green and the daffodils are out in full force. I can't wait to start filling planters with colorful annuals and deciding if I can fit just one or two more perennials somewhere. There is also a beautiful "June" hosta in my front garden that needs moving or at least separated. I haven't the strength to dig it out so maybe one of my boys will do it for me. The hosta is gorgeous but has grown too large for it's spot.

I don't know if I mentioned in a blog that I've changed my 5 year plan. I had planned to sell the house in 5 years but after viewing some pricey apartments online, I think I'd better just stay put. The apartments are small and sort of dingy so it makes more sense to stay where I am as long as I can manage the stairs (1 1/2 storey house). There aren't better neighbors anywhere so it's best that I stay as long as possible. Who knows, I might not even make 5 years but I have to think positively.

Today is one of those do nothing days that I love so much. I will play on the computer, do a little Swedish weaving, and maybe glue glass beads on a vase. Like my little Aeron said when she was about 2 years old, "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do".

Hiring Out Nash

I've felt nothing but lighthearted happiness since my cuddle with Nash on Sunday. I'm thinking of hiring him out to the sad and depressed because cuddling with that baby would raise anyone's spirits. I've also had some long and insightful talks with friends and that helps, too.

Faye brought me over some variegated impatiens cuttings and I've sat them by the back patio door where they'll get lots of light (inbetween rainstorms) but they can't go outside until at least the end of May. I love these plants but I left mine in Florida because I'm sick of having to take them out of soil so I can bring them across the border. If Faye will continue to give me cuttings from hers, I'll be very happy.

Those cuttings are the only live plants in the house because I had to give all of mine up when I started spending the winter in Florida. I'm thinking of buying a couple of African Violets just to have live plants here again. I remember when I had over 40 living plants in the house. It was nice at the time but now I'd be happy with just 1 or 2. It wouldn't be hard to cart African Violets all the way down to Florida in the fall because they don't require much watering.

On a high note, the scabbing on my face is slowly disappearing but it still looks icky. The body's ability to heal itself is quite amazing...too bad it can't keep us from aging, though. I don't at all mind aging as long as I'm healthy. Being a senior has advantages that I would never have expected when I was younger. It's a whole new frame of mind and very freeing. It's pretty nice having so much personal time and a bit of pension money to pursue some fun stuff.

I'm looking forward to my next "dose of Nash". It won't be long before he'll be too active to stand for a lot of cuddling so I want to get as much as I can while I can. Come to think of it, that's they same way I feel about having fun.

Public Prayers

I usually reserve my religious rant for Christmas but it's coming a little earlier this year. I received an e-mail about how Christian prayers normally said in American schools and at sporting events are being frowned upon by certain factions who seem to frown upon everything we hold sacred...even an agnostic like me wants to hold our traditions sacred.

I look at it this way. If I'm with a group who prays before a meal or an event, I respect them by keeping quiet and saying a silent thank you to whatever powers that be for putting me in such nice company. It doesn't matter whether the group is Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or any other religion, I would show respect.

When a friend sends me an e-mail saying they are praying for me in my time of need, I take that as a supreme compliment because they are showing how much they care about me.

I don't know but maybe different religions can't respect each other and that's the problem. I've heard horror stories about how some religions look upon followers of other religions as unfit to live and I wonder if their god teaches them to hate like that. Being an agnostic, I am suspicious of all faiths because I've never been able to accept that a being with dominion over us all would allow a child to be tortured or murdered. I can't just "have faith". But I have respect for those who do.

I think it's disrespectful for anyone to come to this country and demand that public Christian prayers be stopped. I think it's disrespectful for a tiny minority to demand we stop erecting Christmas trees on public property in December. And worst of all, I think it's insanity for Canadians or Americans to burn down a mosque in anger. We either need to accept each other or everyone needs to go back to their country of origin and never leave.

Me, I'm part Irish, part English, part French, and maybe a little Jewish so I'm not sure where I could go.

Making My Own Patterns

Have I said before how much I love having a computer...and a printer/copier? For a while now I've wished I could download a graph showing monk's cloth so I could make my own Swedish weaving patterns but didn't know where to start. Then I recalled seeing a graph like that on the back of one of the pattern books so here I sit, happy as pig in poo, with a whole stash of graphs just waiting for inspiration to hit me.

What would be even better would be to have a program where the graph appeared on the screen and I could design or delete with just a touch of the cursor. I'm sure that feature could be found somewhere but maybe even just a plain boxed graph would do and I could use a little imagination. I don't know about that but my graphed paper will have to do for now.

I'm an artist at heart, maybe not a fabulously functioning one but I'd like to be. That's why Swedish weaving has captured my interest. The patterns are cut and dried to follow and you really can't make a mistake if you follow them carefully. You choose your own colors and that is your first contribution to what will turn out to be a beautiful piece of original art. And you are the artist!

Scabby

I had much of my face blasted with liquid nitrogen last Wednesday and even though I'm healing the resultant scabs look terrible. I'm afraid to go to restaurants because they might think I have a disease.

I'm supposed to go to the dentist for a cleaning this coming Wednesday but there's no way that could be done without hurting the scabby area on my bottom lip so I'll just have to cancel and reschedule. I've had suspicious spots removed this way before and barely scabbed up but the dermatologist really zapped me good this last time so that must be why I have such heavy scabbing. As long as it works, I guess.

I stayed home all day today, vacuumed and washed floors and then started Nicole's afghan. It looks good so far so I've chosen the right colors for her this time. There's been a spitty rain with overcast skies all day and that usually makes me feel low but not today...I think I'm still carrying the blissful serenity I caught from Nash. It's really been a pleasant day for me and, whatever the reason, I'm happy for it.

I checked out Facebook a little while ago and saw that Marilee had posted a film clip of Kyran being interviewed about her book. I've seldom seen Kyran but that doesn't stop me from being very proud of her. She's a wonderful writer which is no surprise because her father was a well known Canadian writer and her mother (Marilee) is also very talented. I wish Marilee wrote more blogs because she has a unique way of expressing herself that is very entertaining.

It's still raining slightly and I'm wearing socks to keep my feet warm. The weather report is promising a few more weeks of this crap!

The Cuddle Cure

Yesterday I had Easter dinner at Kim's house with Nick, Natasha, Nolan, and Nash. Of course, Nolan was our main source of entertainment and had us laughing and watching in amazement as he scurried around. I'd forgotten how often a 21 month old child stops to examine something, learning who knows what as we watch them. It thrills me to death to watch this miracle.

But it was Nash who made my day. He's only 2 months old but has this quality that I noticed the first time I saw him. He's serene. I spent a lot of time just cuddling him to me and I swear his calmness of nature seeped right into me and soothed me in a way that's hard to explain. Nolan wasn't like that at this age. He exuded a strong energy and you just knew he was going to be the ball of fire that he is but Nash is different. He's a peaceful baby and that's what he passed on to me yesterday.

It will be interesting to see if this remains his character as he grows up.

Words

It was words that should not have been spoken that put me in this funk. Words don't always convey what a person is truly thinking and feeling and that is half the problem with many of us. We put our foot in our mouths and leave everlasting hard feelings where none were meant to be.

Once spoken, some harsh words will take on a life of their own and lay within our brains, ready to spring forward unexpectedly and hurting us all over again. Then there are the sweet, loving words that can do exactly the same thing but soothing instead of hurting us.

I received an e-mail from a good friend today and her loving words made me feel good again. She'd read my blog and thought my sadness was from being away from all of our friends in Florida and wanted to let me know she cared. Where would we be without good family and friends?

It's a dreary, wet and cloudy day today and that won't help my mood. But I get to see my precious greatgrandbabies tonight and that certainly will. I'll be sure to tell them how much I love them. "Love" is one of the best words anyone can use.

Note: I had so darned much fun with Nolan and got to cuddle for a good long time with Nash. My mood is the best it's been in over a week. I have to say that the calm gentleness that exuded from Nash's little body seemed to enter mine and heal me from within. He's really a special little baby, such a quiet and calm little boy. It will be interesting watching him grow up.

My Counselor

Anna told me that I should never give up blogging because it is my way of working through any problems I might have in my life and she's right. When I'm distressed in any way, I don't think clearly but by writing it in my blog it helps me to focus.

Today my focus is on getting out of this house for a long (and gasoline expensive) drive to enjoy the early spring sunshine in the countryside. I'm trying not to go to the casino but that just might happen, who knows? In any case, my spirits are high and my tank is full so we'll go wherever we choose.

A Special Day

This has been a special and meaningful day for me. First, Faye brought me some homemade soup and then we went to Swiss Chalet for dinner...I know she did this so that she could see that I was all right, bless her.

Then this evening a knock came to the door and it was my sweet neighbors, Anna and Lisa, who often visit but let it slip as they were leaving that they had been reading my blog and also wanted to make sure I was okay.

I am a very lucky woman. And I really am okay.

Tyson's Birthday

Today is my grandson, Tyson's, birthday and he's reached the grand old age of 24. I can still picture him as a toddler gibbering as though he was really talking..I think he believed he was. He was the happiest, best natured baby I ever saw. I really don't remember him ever crying but he probably did.

I looked after him and his brother and sister for a couple of days a week when they were little. I always considered that the best spent time in my life because it gave me so much contact with my grandchildren. You can never take that away.

All three children were so well behaved that it was an easy day for me but the constant lifting of three little bodies under the age of 3 was hard on me and I'd go home tired out. Tyson, being the oldest, was the natural leader of his siblings and I remember one day when he was maybe 5 and had just discovered that his 4 year old brother had pulled the dog's tail. He stood above Kyle, very stern and looking for all the world like a parent, and quietly asked him how he could have done such a thing. Kyle, downcast and repentant, was thoroughly ashamed that he'd disappointed his brother. It's a sweet and memorable scene that I'll carry in my mind forever.

I've always taken my grandchildren out for lunch or dinner on their birthdays but Tyson has been away at university for 4 years so that's fallen away. He comes home for good this weekend and I'm so hoping we can resurrect that tradition. Tyson is my philosopher grandchild and my memories of dinners with him are filled with interesting and deep conversations which helped me know him better. He's a wonderful grandson and I love him dearly. I hope he always knows that.

Aeron's Afghan

I finally finished Aeron's afghan and, if I say so myself, it's beautiful. The fabric looks pinkish in the photos but it's actually pure white and the yarn is a light denim blue, a pale blue, and a lilac. The embroidery on the bottom is a pale blue. I've gone with a longer fringe because some of the ladies at our Swedish weaving group did that and I think it looks much nicer than a short fringe.

It feels good to be finished a project and now I can concentrate on the next one which will be for Nicole. Blues again but with a light pink touch!

Skin Care

My heritage is Irish and I have the pale, freckled skin to prove it. I sure wish I'd been more careful about sunburns in my youth but, what the heck, who knew in those days what it could do to your skin in later life.

I've had 2 spots of skin cancer removed from my upper chest and been very lucky that it didn't scar badly. I see a dermatologist about twice a year because I have quite a lot of pre-cancerous spots on my face. I have to assume that this means the skin cells have gone through some sort of change that isn't normal. The latest bad change was a sore on my lip that wouldn't heal, just kept scabbing over.

Yesterday was my first visit of the year to the dermatologist and she sprayed the life out of my face...nose, lip, under the eye and beside it. She even did a few passes over my forehead. Then she sprayed 2 suspicious spots on my upper chest. The spray is liquid nitrogen and hurts like hell when the spraying on one spot is prolonged. Her main concern was my lip so she sprayed it for about a minute. Yikes!

Today I look like I've been in a fight and I was the one who lost. My eye is swollen and there are blisters on my lip. Sunburn is what brought me to this stage and I really wish I'd known better than to ever sunbathe, especially unprotected by sunscreen.

I also have some thickening of the skin between my nose and eye that isn't very noticeable but irritates me quite a bit so I'm having it lasered at the end of June. This wasn't caused by sun exposure so it's not covered by OHIP but the benefit to my peace of mind is worth the cost.

I'm so glad that there is so much information blasted at us now about the dangers of sun on the skin. It will mean fewer old ladies in the future having the problems that I'm having now.

Improper Clothing

I read an article about the frightening trend of parents who allow their young pre-teen daughters to dress in sexually suggestive clothing. Hard to believe it actually happens but it does.

It made me wonder why a mother would do this to her 6 or 8 year old and I can only imagine that she must be putting herself in her child's place and reliving her youth through the child. The mother must lose sight of the fact that her child is too young to be viewed as a sexual creature. That's the only spin I can put on it because I really don't believe that most of these mothers are deliberately placing their little girls out there to be bait for pedophiles.

There's nothing much sweeter than a little girl who looks like the innocent child that she is. And there isn't anything much more disgusting that to see an 8 year old child dressed in too revealing clothing with the word "juicy" on her butt. Her mother must be one sick individual.

Each generation arrives at the point where they feel the world is moving too fast and it certainly seems as though we've reached a dangerous time. I don't want us to go back but to go forward to a time when childhood innocence will once again be something to treasure and honor.

Hugs

I sure wish I'd had a computer when I was in depression years back. I posted on Facebook the other day that I needed a hug and got so many replies from friends that it really did make me feel better. I could picture each person's sweet and friendly face as I read what they'd posted for me and it brought my spirits up.

Writing this blog is also a great source of comfort because it helps me get my feelings straight. As I write, I consider just how an incident has affected me. Most often I realize that I can handle whatever my problems happen to be.

I grew up in a family that never hugged. I remember the first hug I received from one of my grown daughters (Shelley) and how surprised I was. It seemed to open a door for me and I forced myself to start hugging, too. Now I'm the best hugger you might come across because it just feels so good to have that friendly contact.

I get most of my hugs in Florida because my park members are great huggers. It never fails to brighten my moment when a friend gives me a hug just because they like me. It means so very much to me. Never underestimate the power of a hug because sometimes it means more than you'll ever know.

It's easy to hug a child because they're so open to affection but we adults often feel uncomfortable with that contact. That's how I was until Shelley reached out to me and changed my world. I've noticed how a few of my friends give tentative hugs because they haven't reached the comfortable stage yet. And then there are the ones who deliver a joyful friendliness with their hugs...I love those!

So hug a friend, hug a loved one, or give yourself a symbolic hug today. You'll feel better for it.

Swedish Weaving Afternoon

Faye, Donna, and I met at the senior center for lunch and then came back to my place to do our Swedish weaving. Donna was starting a new project, Faye was just finishing one off, and I was starting the embroidery stitch at the bottom of Aeron's afghan.

Every time I use that embroidery stitch, I mentally thank Candy for showing us how to do it. It is the nicest way to finish off the hem just above the fringe and gives the whole project an upscale look. I'll post pictures when it's all finished.

I still haven't quite finished the afghan from hell but will finish it first before sewing up the edges on Aeron's so I can do both together. Then it will be on to Nicole's. Sitting on my butt weaving pretty colors of yarn through monk's cloth suits me just fine because I'm naturally lazy. I'm accomplishing something of value while not expending a heck of a lot of energy.

It's nice to get back to a regular Swedish weaving day. All winter we had our day on Thursday but here at home we've chosen Tuesdays. I'm not near as busy here as I am in Florida so I expect to complete at least 3 afghans this summer. No problem if I don't, though, because the length of time it takes to finish one is of no importance. Each stitch is made with love and that's all that counts.

I'm Okay

After sleeping half the day away yesterday, I didn't think I'd sleep at all last night but I did. I feel rested and ready to get on with my life and that's the improvement I was hoping for. I'm accepting the fact that I'll never be able to please everyone...I thought I'd already reached that goal but I was mistaken.

I'm meeting Donna for lunch at the Senior Center today (hopefully Faye will make it, too) and then we're coming back to my house for an afternoon of Swedish weaving. We did that last summer and fall and it was such a nice afternoon for us. I still have to do the embroidery on Aeron's afghan and also finish off the so-so one I've had trouble with.

Working on my Swedish weaving has a lovely, calming effect and I do a lot of thinking while I'm weaving. With Donna and Faye, we also do a lot of laughing, too. When I finish Aeron's, I'll start on a new one for Nicole and then Marilee's is next on my list. One for Matt and Sandra will come after that. Whew! I hope they all love the afghans and the love that was woven into them.

Healthy Depression

At least I hope it is. I'm feeling horrible so it must be depression but I think it's the healthy kind, you know, feeling low for a good reason and pretty sure it will pass. It's 3:04 P.M. and I've slept most of the day and am still in my nightgown...this isn't a good sign but I'm still feeling strong enough to pull myself out of this. Actually, the more I write, the better I feel. My blog has been a sounding board for me and that's a good way to work yourself through a problem. True depression just doesn't feel this way. True depression drags you down unmercifully and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. My feelings today are not good but I'm not in the depths of anything. When I'm slightly depressed, I have a strong urge to run away but it's pretty crappy outside today and going for a drive in damp, drizzly, overcast weather couldn't possibly make me feel good so I'll just wait it out. Having suffered from true depression for most of my life, I do have a niggling fear about this episode but I'm not the person I was all those years ago. I'm stronger and have more confidence in myself. As my "sister" said, "This, too, shall pass".

Getting By

There will always be times in your life when your world collapses around you and you're left feeling adrift. Years ago, I barely survived moments like that but these days I can take a blow to the gut and not disintegrate. Sometimes it helps to replace sadness and hurt with anger but occasionally you just have to let the sadness run it's course, knowing there's no way around it. Me, I blog my feelings and work the kinks out that way. We'll always have bad moments in our lives so we need to learn how to live with them. And we need to accept that sometimes there is no way to make some things right again. I am an imperfect human being who makes mistakes...but the same goes for everyone else.

Centipedes Gone...I Hope!

I am tentatively declaring my house a centipede free zone. Last summer I was so miserable about the number of centipedes I was seeing in my house that I called in a pest control company. After 4 sprayings (3 more than normal), the horrible little critters seemed to be gone but by then I was leaving for Florida and the house would be empty all winter. I could only hope that they wouldn't thrive and multiply while I was gone. Normally when I come home in April, there will be centipede carcasses in various spots around the house, mainly in the basement, but this time there were none. NONE!! Could it be that my problem had finally been solved and I could live without fear in my own home once more? I had tried a pest control company years ago but they didn't offer free return calls. Their initial spraying did nothing to rid me of centipedes and I sort of gave up, just hoping the rotten things would move out on their own but that never happened. I have to assume that the repeated sprayings were what was needed and I'm so glad they worked...I hope. I'm so afraid of becoming complacent, thinking they're all gone and then being startled by their return so I'm going to hire that same pest control company to come again this year. Just in case! Bugs do not belong indoors.

Stories We'd Rather Not Hear

I had dinner tonight with may daughters and a whole bunch of their cousins...not quite sure why I was there but Kim insisted. The restaurant was a very nice sushi place and they gave us our own room...and that was before they heard the wild laughter and risque stories. I bet the staff wished the doors to our room were solid instead of decorated with silk scarves. I managed to get myself lost by going to the far east mountain instead of the far west but was only about 40 minutes late and able to catch up to the partyers pretty quickly, at least foodwise. I was driving so I drank only Diet Coke. Aeron helped me order when I got there because I don't eat sushi. The gang had polished off their first large carafe of wine and when they ordered another one, the waitress questioned them if they were sure they wanted a second one. I guess she equates noise with drunkeness but she didn't know our group. They don't need alcohol to make them loud and happy. As the evening progressed the cousins (and sisters) began to tell humorous stories about each other. I'm so pleased that the cousins have always been such good friends but Val and I agreed that there were some things we didn't want to know about our kids. Just leave us in partial ignorance about what our little treasures did or do behind their parents' backs, please. Six of the hardiest partyers (Larry, Rochelle, Val, Karen, Kim, Cindy, and Shelley) decided to hit a bar after dinner so Nick drove me home because I can't see to drive in the dark. Shelley will drive my car home later on tonight and I know she won't be drinking. Larry will be the only guy with all these wild women but I'll bet he'll be the wildest one of all. They'll have a great time and make some more cousin memories!

The Energizer Bunny/Nolan

Kim, Shelley, Mary, and I took Nolan to Paris for lunch and a walk around that pretty town yesterday. The weather turned out to be excellent for just a light jacket but I'd feared cold winds and wore a heavy jacket which I quickly discarded. It was a little cool for just t-shirts but manageable. Nolan was his usual, happy, contented, and busy little self. He's such a good baby and caused us no trouble at all except for his klutzy moves which often scared us to death. He climbs, wiggles, leans over or falls over constantly. He doesn't cry. We almost do just out of fear for him. We had a nice lunch in a Chinese restaurant where the only thing Nolan would eat were the egg rolls. He's a fussy eater who eats well the things he likes but turns his head away from the unknown. Smart kid! Then we strolled around Paris...just about 2 blocks long in the downtown...and visited a few of the stores. Shelley bought a moose bird feeder which was cute and unique. She belongs to some kind of moose group back in Florida and thinks they'll all want one of these. She also bought me a fridge magnet that says, "The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house". I love it! Nolan really was like the energizer bunny every time he was allowed out of his stroller. He ran around examining everything while we all followed him taking care that he didn't hurt himself. He finally wound down and fell asleep on the drive home. When we got back to Kim's, the funniest thing happened with Nolan. We were sitting out on her deck watching him running around (once waking from his nap, the energizer bunny started up again) when Baker, Kim's dog, went out in the yard area to have a poop. Nolan watched this event with interest and, when Baker came back up onto the deck, Nolan stooped down to inspect the opening the poop had emerged from. Such sweet innocence! Shelley and I had dinner at Kim's in the evening and then watched "American Idol". We're all hooked on that show and were sad to see anyone eliminated. My favorite, Jacob Lusk, is still in! Shelley and I headed home after watching "Idol" and a taped "Big Bang Theory"...love those shows! It had been a wonderful day all around.

American Idol

There's something so profound about American Idol. From the very beginning when they are auditioning hopeful young men and women, it elicits a strong emotion from the viewer. We are able to put ourselves into each person's place and imagine what they're feeling...the thrill of being called back or the heartbreak of being dismissed. The latest version of American Idol is winding down with (I think) 9 very talented individuals left to entertain us. At this point, you really hate to see any of them sent home because they are all so darned talented. Jacob Lusk has been my favorite since the beginning because his utterly amazing voice gives me goosebumps but most of the others are strong contenders, too. I can't see any of them disappearing into the woodwork and never being heard from again because the talent is there. I can only hope for their sake that agents are lining up and waiting to take them on and furthering their career. In my eyes, it doesn't matter who wins this contest because they're all capable of winning. As much as I love Jacob Lusk's voice, he's best singing gospel and that won't have universal appeal so it would be a surprise to see him win. He deserves it but those who deserve don't always receive. In any case, tonight will tell the tale of who is next to stay or go. This has been a wonderful idea for a T.V. show and I, for one, certainly enjoy it.

Bad to Good Swedish Weaving Afghan

Only someone who does Swedish weaving will understand what I mean when I say the yarn colors were not grabbing me. The afghan I'm speaking about was white fabric with light pink, light blue, medium blue and dark blue yarn. Those colors should look fine together but the dark blue was just too dark and I couldn't find a slightly lighter shade that blended well with the medium blue. The big problem was that I'd finished the center and most of the lattice (fills in between the actual patternparts of center and ends). I didn't want to remove all of that work.

So I took out the dark blue altogether and rearranged the other 3 colors in the center pattern. I had done a large lattice with the medium blue but that's something I don't like anymore so I entwined the light blue to make it a smaller lattice and darned if it doesn't look pretty good! I had almost decided to finish this afghan off quickly with as little work as possible and maybe sell it on Ebay instead of giving it to a loved one but now it really looks good enough for a gift.

My last afghan was made with blues for Aeron and this one was supposed to be for Nicole until I screwed it up. I'm getting tired of doing blues and would really like to get on to some other colors but I learned some new techniques this winter and this particular afghan isn't what I now want for her.

Anyway, I've never seen an ugly Swedish weaving afghan or table runner and this project proves that any project can be saved if it falls short of expectations. This afghan is pretty but my standards have risen after learning some new tricks from our Thursday morning group at the park. I'll just sell this afghan and restart one for Nicole using the new ideas. I love learning from other Swedish weavers because it keeps the craft new and exciting.

Feeling at Home

It's kind of amazing how resilient human nature is. I remember one time many years ago that I was in the hospital for something minor and I realized that I was acting like an invalid, subconsciously mimicking the shuffle of true invalids who had just endured major surgery. It had something to do with being in my pyjamas and laying in bed during the day, I think. You know the saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", well I was living among invalids and had started to think and move)like one. Back to what I was intending to write about...Just days ago I was living in Florida in a tiny trailer and feeling completely at home. Now I'm back in Canada living in my house and feeling completely at home. There was really no transition period. Each world is entirely different in the way I live there. In Florida it is non stop socializing with very little time alone but here in Canada I live a quieter life. I like both. Of course it has yet to really quiet down here. Shelley and I have been out to dinner a couple of times...tonight with Anna and Lisa...and then Kim, Nolan, Shelley and I going out to Paris to have lunch with Mary on Thursday. Friday it will be dinner out with most of the family. Shelley had said she was going to cook a proper meal for me every night but restaurant meals are awfully tempting. It's been awfully nice having Shelley here for a while. She's had to study a lot through the day but that has given me the time to clean house and do my Swedish weaving. I keep looking at my yard and thinking how soon it will be when the perennials start to come to life. I transplanted 3 Rose of Sharon bushes last fall and hope that at least one of them survived the winter. And soon after that it will be time to fill the planters with colorful annuals. Life is full and life is good. Just open your heart to it.

Asperger's Syndrome

Well, I learned something this morning, thanks to Shelley. I just might have Asperger's syndrome. One of the characteristics of Asperger's is that people take what we say the wrong way and we are frequently misunderstood. Of course, there's much more to it but this has been one of my burdens all of my life. This morning, Shelley decided that her father might also have had Asberger's and that could be why we could never communicate properly. It struck me as hilarious (and a little bit sad) that Dennis and I struggled though our marriage, both possibly afflicted with Asperger's, trying to understand each other and usually failing to do so. Just picture it. I noticed this problem mostly in my dealings with Dennis. I could never seem to make him understand me and I certainly never understood him. Asperger's?? From childhood, I often found someone angry with me and never knew what I'd said or done to deserve it so I might have inadvertently offended that person. In recent years, I've taken to carefully considering my words before I speak them but the occasional tactless expression does slip loose, leaving me wondering why in the world I said it that way. At least I now recognize when the wrong words slip out and take care to rephrase them immediately...I hope. I've noticed with my blog that I often have to delete a sentence or phrase because, after reading what I've written, it doesn't portray what I'm really trying to say. I guess that happens with most people and that Asperger's syndrome lies within all of us to some extent. Interesting what one can learn about themselves and their lives after one little conversation with an onlooker.

The Collection Notice

Sunday, April 10, 2011 The Collection Notice Shelley and I arrived home about 5 P.M. yesterday, tired but so happy to be back in Canada. We unloaded the car with the help of Kim and Cindy and then went out for dinner before tearassing to Nick's house to see Nolan and Nash. I remember when I would have been tearassing over to see Nick but the babies have taken first place now. This was my first opportunity to see Nash because he'd been born February 24th while I was in Florida. He reeks of gentleness and quietness. I loved him before I met him and now I love him that much more. He doesn't look like Nolan at all but more like Natasha and that makes no difference to me. I love this little guy who carries my genes into the future. Nolan didn't look much different from when I left in October. He's still the most amazingly beautiful child and just as funny. Apparently when "GG" was mentioned, he'd look at the door knowing I was gone somewhere. It didn't take long to make him realize that I was the "GG" and I had returned. He had us all laughing at his antics until it was time for us to go home and for him to go to bed. Back home I attacked the pile of mail that had built up over the last 5 months and noticed one odd letter from "Reliance", the company that rents me my water heater. Upon opening it, I was blasted with the notice that my account had been placed with a collection agency. I owed them $86 and had not replied to countless attempts to notices all winter. Yikes! I thought I'd sent them a cheque to cover the winter months I'd been away but my checkbook told me otherwise. Oh, Oh! Now I'm left wondering how badly this $86 of arrears and a collection agency has hurt my credit. And also wondering if my rented water heater will be confiscated before I can send off another cheque. LOL! Well, poop happens and I'm not perfect. Neither is my memory but I'll have to be better organized from her on in about paying this particular bill. Most of my utilities are paid by automatic withdrawal from my account but I've been reluctant to add the cable and the water heater rental to that list. I don't like too many companies having access to my account. I think what I'll do is make a list of who I need to send post dated cheques to in October in order to keep myself updated. This is the first time I've forgotten someone but I am getting older and finding the preparation needed for leaving here in October can be a bit overwhelming. There is always so much to tend to before leaving for Florida and being gone 5-6 months. Lists are good.

Flowering Cactus

The year we bought the trailer, one of our neighbors asked us if we wanted some of their aloe plants. I was thrilled to be able to plant something that was a true Florida perennial so we accepted a few of them. The one pictured above is the only one that lasted, though.

It started out as one small little plant but it has proliferated over the years and now has many little ones that grow right around the original. For most of the year it just sits there looking "tropical" and green but during March it begins to through forth stems which reach about 3' in height. Come April, the reddish blossoms at the top open up and stay for about 2 weeks before they die off and the plant goes dormant once again. Whenever I look at this plant, memories come back to me of the nice couple who gave it to me. I guess that's what gifts always do, bring us thoughts of their generous and kindly donor. I've already chopped down and deposited all my own potted plants to the safety of the rear of the Florida room so it looks pretty bare outside. The aloe is a lovely spot of color and will probably be the last thing I notice as I drive away for home on Thursday. A winter of fun, sun, and friendship...a winter well spent but now it's time to go home.

Time to Stop Worrying

Ya know, sometimes you just have to walk away from a problem you can't solve and leave it behind you until you can at least try to solve it. The tipout that Mickey tore apart and fixed a few months ago is still leaking but I'm leaving here on Thursday and I'm going to do my best to not worry about it until I return in October. I'm getting better at walking away...from problems, from uncomfortable situations, from stress of any kind. My mind can only tolerate so many problems and it begins to shut down and I stop giving a damn either way. In this case, the trailer is just that..a trailer and not my home. Trailers are not hardy little items and tend to deteriorate with age. I'll do what I can to keep it livable but I won't tear my hair out in frustration if my best isn't good enough. Now I'm really looking forward to getting home and cuddling those 2 greatgrandbabies. As long as my loved ones are okay I'm happy. A leaky trailer isn't the worst thing that could happen to me!