The world has changed so much...become terribly unsafe and seemingly full of haters. I remember a different world.
I remember when New Year's eve celebrations were happy times and public places like Times Square weren't under a terrorist watch.
I remember when public festivities like an outdoor music festival was a place to go and have fun, not worry about crazies shooting it up.
I remember when Christmas was celebrated with no-one having to be careful not to say the word "Christmas".
I remember when it was safe for a 5 year old to walk to school alone.
I remember when high schools didn't need metal detectors or hired police protection.
I remember when police officers were respected.
I remember when most Mommys were there to make our lunch when we went home from school at noon.
I remember dinner was served to the family at home every single night.
I remember when a university education guaranteed a good career.
I remember when a pedophile would be beaten up badly by the neighbors or family before the police arrived.
I remember when few families owned even one car.
I remember hunting down the one family in the neighborhood with a T.V. and watching it through their front window.
I remember when few people owed money on a credit card.
I remember when people bought simple houses and it only took one salary to support the family.
I remember when all the children in the neighborhood played safely outside and beyond the presence or influence of any adults.
I remember wading through deep snow to get to school in the winter. The teachers all made it there, too.
I remember the joy of the last day of school before summer. No expensive holidays were in front of me but the precious freedom to go wherever my heart desired was.
Those were days of freedom for children because our world was a safer place for us. We did see a few crazies but they weren't toting guns...our crazies were usually flashers. Having a safer environment meant we had the opportunity to become street smart. We learned at a slow pace what to stay away from.
The world today is crammed with crazies who think nothing of grabbing, molesting, and killing a child. And there are crazies whose addled brains tell them they have the right to shoot up a school or a church. The ones who will deliberately race their vehicle into a crowd of innocent people are also to be feared.
They say we've lost our innocence but I think we've been led astray by vocal groups of people who believe monsters who commit horrible crimes should be forgiven instead of put away for good. They are instrumental in these crazies being given short jail sentences and then toss them out among us over and over. And so our world becomes infested with the crazies and no longer a safe place for anyone.
Yes, I remember a very different world which wasn't perfect but it was more perfect than it is today.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Here Comes 2018
I'm sure most seniors feel like me and that the world has passed us by. Technology is such that most of us are completely lost when trying to solve a tech problem. Thank heavens for the tech support teams that have been taught how to politely deal with us...it must be very hard for them to crawl down to our level of understanding.
In all honesty, seniors don't have much purpose in life. We, at best, can act as a fount of knowledge for the little ones but we just sort of go about our days doing not much. We don't have to work and we sure don't want to work. We just want to live in peace and have fun occasionally. Sort of like a pet.
I'm not disparaging seniors when I say this. It's probably what every human being aims for in life but they'd prefer to do it while they're still agile and beautiful. Sorry.
In my youth, I thought 20 was kind of old. When I was in my twenties, I thought 40 was old. In my 40's, I thought 60 was old but nothing to be afraid of. When I hit 60 I stopped worrying about what was old and decided to concentrate on having a good time, whatever that happened to be in my life. As you can see, age is only a perception of whoever is thinking about it.
Never in my young life did I see myself still here at 77 but I am and I'm enjoying most of my moments, too. What I hate most about this time in my life is how many of the people who were important to me have passed away. I just can't conceive of that energy gone and dissipated. Oh, the mystery of life!
But here we go into 2018 and my 78th birthday will arrive in August. There has to be a reason for this!
In all honesty, seniors don't have much purpose in life. We, at best, can act as a fount of knowledge for the little ones but we just sort of go about our days doing not much. We don't have to work and we sure don't want to work. We just want to live in peace and have fun occasionally. Sort of like a pet.
I'm not disparaging seniors when I say this. It's probably what every human being aims for in life but they'd prefer to do it while they're still agile and beautiful. Sorry.
In my youth, I thought 20 was kind of old. When I was in my twenties, I thought 40 was old. In my 40's, I thought 60 was old but nothing to be afraid of. When I hit 60 I stopped worrying about what was old and decided to concentrate on having a good time, whatever that happened to be in my life. As you can see, age is only a perception of whoever is thinking about it.
Never in my young life did I see myself still here at 77 but I am and I'm enjoying most of my moments, too. What I hate most about this time in my life is how many of the people who were important to me have passed away. I just can't conceive of that energy gone and dissipated. Oh, the mystery of life!
But here we go into 2018 and my 78th birthday will arrive in August. There has to be a reason for this!
Saturday, December 30, 2017
New Year's Resolutions
In my whole life I have never followed through with any new Year's resolutions I made so I gave up. At any moment in time I'm doing the best I can considering the circumstances and that should be enough for anyone.
Of course we can all improve and that should be a daily effort and not one you wait until the end of the year to accomplish. When I look back on the person I was in my youth, I'm a saint in comparison. I have improved.
It didn't take church and it didn't take complaints. It took inner reflection and that's the most accurate assessment you can find.
I spent ages this morning on the most aggravating internet (Tengonet) to find a quote I spotted on Facebook just as I was leaving the page. It starts out "I woke up different" and then goes on to say how it makes no sense to find your value or happiness in the opinion of others. Not everyone has your best interests at heart and the sooner you learn whose opinion matters the better. Your own opinion matters most!
If someone finds fault with you, don't ignore it but give it some thought and then make up your own opinion on the matter. They might be right but they also might be wrong and we can't take anything at face value.
Back to New Year's resolutions...I think we've created this foolishness as a way to procrastinate doing what we know should be done. I wonder if it works for anyone?? Me, I'll continue my own little path of trying to be a better person but I'll do it daily. I'll never be perfect but you won't either.
Of course we can all improve and that should be a daily effort and not one you wait until the end of the year to accomplish. When I look back on the person I was in my youth, I'm a saint in comparison. I have improved.
It didn't take church and it didn't take complaints. It took inner reflection and that's the most accurate assessment you can find.
I spent ages this morning on the most aggravating internet (Tengonet) to find a quote I spotted on Facebook just as I was leaving the page. It starts out "I woke up different" and then goes on to say how it makes no sense to find your value or happiness in the opinion of others. Not everyone has your best interests at heart and the sooner you learn whose opinion matters the better. Your own opinion matters most!
If someone finds fault with you, don't ignore it but give it some thought and then make up your own opinion on the matter. They might be right but they also might be wrong and we can't take anything at face value.
Back to New Year's resolutions...I think we've created this foolishness as a way to procrastinate doing what we know should be done. I wonder if it works for anyone?? Me, I'll continue my own little path of trying to be a better person but I'll do it daily. I'll never be perfect but you won't either.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Love Lost
On Christmas eve, one of my friends who lost her son to suicide quite a few years ago was weeping uncontrollably. Her pain is one that will never fade enough to give her peace. Another lady lost her son less than a month ago and appears to be calm and accepting but her eyes tell a different story. Another lady lost her grandson just last week and I believe she's mending well. She's older than me and has gone through hell and back with a very sick husband who did survive.
We all handle our grief differently. Some have it written all over their faces while others carry it deep in their hearts and not to be shared with the world. I can't allow myself to delve too deeply into their psyche and how they're tolerating their tremendous losses because I don't think I could survive pain like that. It has to be a pain like no other.
Donna still grieves for Jill as though her passing was just yesterday and the hope is that the grief will soften in time to include good memories. That's the best a mother can hope for.
My prayer has always been that I die before any of my children, grandchildren, or greatgrandchildren. I guess that's what we all pray for but it doesn't happen to some.
I remember my first Christmas after Dennis passed away and it was made a bit easier by having Joyce and Larry make the trip down to Florida to be with me. I'll never forget that kind gesture...it meant so much to me. It was the singing of "Silent Night" at the Christmas Eve service at the clubhouse that did me in that year. Sometimes all it takes is a word that prompts memories or thoughts we can't yet deal with that erases our facade.
My Christmas this year was overshadowed with the sadness of these friends and knowing there is absolutely nothing on earth that will help them except maybe time.
And so my Christmas this year wasn't the happy-go-lucky one as in the past. Maybe a little too much reality slipped in.
We all handle our grief differently. Some have it written all over their faces while others carry it deep in their hearts and not to be shared with the world. I can't allow myself to delve too deeply into their psyche and how they're tolerating their tremendous losses because I don't think I could survive pain like that. It has to be a pain like no other.
Donna still grieves for Jill as though her passing was just yesterday and the hope is that the grief will soften in time to include good memories. That's the best a mother can hope for.
My prayer has always been that I die before any of my children, grandchildren, or greatgrandchildren. I guess that's what we all pray for but it doesn't happen to some.
I remember my first Christmas after Dennis passed away and it was made a bit easier by having Joyce and Larry make the trip down to Florida to be with me. I'll never forget that kind gesture...it meant so much to me. It was the singing of "Silent Night" at the Christmas Eve service at the clubhouse that did me in that year. Sometimes all it takes is a word that prompts memories or thoughts we can't yet deal with that erases our facade.
My Christmas this year was overshadowed with the sadness of these friends and knowing there is absolutely nothing on earth that will help them except maybe time.
And so my Christmas this year wasn't the happy-go-lucky one as in the past. Maybe a little too much reality slipped in.
Monday, December 25, 2017
Merry Christmas Morning
Unless you have a few Santa believers with you on Christmas morning, it's not much fun. I doubt even Nolan and Nash are still true believers and that's too bad. It means we have to depend on the rest of the grandchildren to make some babies for us to have fun with on Christmas morning. My first hope is Aeron and big Jake (as opposed to young Jake). It would be as much fun watching Cindy with her first grandchild as it would watching the baby excitedly opening presents.
My good memories of Christmas mornings always come from watching my children and grandchildren being excited and innocent in their belief in Santa. I loved those moments! Children shaking with excitement as they opened presents, tossing clothes aside and diving back in to find more fun gifts. I guess there's an element of greed here but I don't care. I loved to make them happy.
The joy in giving rather than receiving is such a good feeling...to see happy smiles and sometimes even tears of joy on their little faces as they receive what to them is a treasure. I've noted with my little ones that it was never the cost or value of the gift that mattered to them but that it was something they really wanted.
When my girls were young we couldn't afford expensive presents but that never mattered. The pageantry of Christmas, Santa, the Christmas tree, family visits, and Christmas dinner was what we all loved. I still do love all that but I'm missing the awe in the eyes of a little child. Aeron and Jake are getting married next September so I'm hoping they provide us with a little one for Christmas 2019. And Cindy will just have to learn to share!
My good memories of Christmas mornings always come from watching my children and grandchildren being excited and innocent in their belief in Santa. I loved those moments! Children shaking with excitement as they opened presents, tossing clothes aside and diving back in to find more fun gifts. I guess there's an element of greed here but I don't care. I loved to make them happy.
The joy in giving rather than receiving is such a good feeling...to see happy smiles and sometimes even tears of joy on their little faces as they receive what to them is a treasure. I've noted with my little ones that it was never the cost or value of the gift that mattered to them but that it was something they really wanted.
When my girls were young we couldn't afford expensive presents but that never mattered. The pageantry of Christmas, Santa, the Christmas tree, family visits, and Christmas dinner was what we all loved. I still do love all that but I'm missing the awe in the eyes of a little child. Aeron and Jake are getting married next September so I'm hoping they provide us with a little one for Christmas 2019. And Cindy will just have to learn to share!
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Odd Florida Problem
I think I mentioned my room mate, Lizzy the lizard. I accept it because there is absolutely nothing you can do to keep lizards out of your home in Florida. They slip in through small cracks and they slip in when you open the door. One good thing is that they don't like people and will scoot away if you come near them. Anyway, I'm stuck with Lizzy. At least, I was.
Yesterday I opened the lid of my old, single cup Keurig to add water and there sat Lizzy. I'm not afraid of her but my mind raced with wondering what it was doing in the Keurig, what it HAD DONE in the Keurig, and how to get it out. I couldn't spray it with water because it probably would have liked that and I couldn't spray with Raid because I didn't want to kill it or me. I chose Fabreze. Lizzy didn't like it but didn't leave, either. I sprayed a few times until it did leave but, in the process, Lizzy lost it's tail. Lizards can lose their extremities and then grow them back so I wasn't too worried but I was creeped out. Could the Fabreze have hurt Lizzy???
Once it was out of the Keurig, I began cleansing it by running boiling water through it again and again. Then I made my coffee but still a little worried. Since then I repeat the cleansing before making a coffee for myself because I don't know if or when Lizzy will return to the Keurig.
Now, how could any Canadian lady ever prepare herself for finding a lizard in her Keurig?
Update: Lizzy is fine and running around with a stump of a tail. This is the weirdest lizard. It doesn't often run from me but just sits and looks up at me when I try to shoo it away.
Update: Somebody stepped on Lizzy in the bathroom...I hope it wasn't me in my bare feet but I saw the little corpse after 2 of my coffee ladies used the bathroom in my trailer. There is another lizard wandering around here, though, so I still have a room mate.
Yesterday I opened the lid of my old, single cup Keurig to add water and there sat Lizzy. I'm not afraid of her but my mind raced with wondering what it was doing in the Keurig, what it HAD DONE in the Keurig, and how to get it out. I couldn't spray it with water because it probably would have liked that and I couldn't spray with Raid because I didn't want to kill it or me. I chose Fabreze. Lizzy didn't like it but didn't leave, either. I sprayed a few times until it did leave but, in the process, Lizzy lost it's tail. Lizards can lose their extremities and then grow them back so I wasn't too worried but I was creeped out. Could the Fabreze have hurt Lizzy???
Once it was out of the Keurig, I began cleansing it by running boiling water through it again and again. Then I made my coffee but still a little worried. Since then I repeat the cleansing before making a coffee for myself because I don't know if or when Lizzy will return to the Keurig.
Now, how could any Canadian lady ever prepare herself for finding a lizard in her Keurig?
Update: Lizzy is fine and running around with a stump of a tail. This is the weirdest lizard. It doesn't often run from me but just sits and looks up at me when I try to shoo it away.
Update: Somebody stepped on Lizzy in the bathroom...I hope it wasn't me in my bare feet but I saw the little corpse after 2 of my coffee ladies used the bathroom in my trailer. There is another lizard wandering around here, though, so I still have a room mate.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
4th Scheduled Appointment With Spectrum...Will They Show Up??
I have my 4th scheduled appointment with Spectrum this morning between 8-10 A.M. At the first appointment on November 13th, a man arrived and told me he couldn't hook up my T.V. and internet because the line had been cut by the men installing their new cable lines. He left but said he'd have someone there within half an hour to reconnect the line. No-one came.
The next couple of scheduled appointments weren't kept, either, so I didn't hold much hope for today...and I was proven right in a way. A Spectrum tech phoned me at 8 and got me all excited until he said the new service simply and truly is not yet available in this park. Crap, but at least he spoke the truth. He transferred me to someone who would change my order to getting the basic T.V. service which still is available. WHY WOULD THIS NOT HAVE BEEN DONE ALREADY!!!
Anyway, he said that once the order was changed he could give me the service this morning. Fingers crossed.
I just spoke to very sleepy sounding rep who has put me on hold so he can check with his supervisor to see if my order can be changed. HoHum!
Oh yes, I was also told that we wouldn't automatically be put on the new digital service when it finally is ready but will have to schedule an appointment with Spectrum. The people you speak to are very nice and polite and helpful but somewhere along the line the customer service goes all to hell. I've told them I wouldn't use Spectrum if I had another choice.
I don't want DirectTV again because they require a contract. Putting a tower up requires a workman. I hate feeling helpless with such poor service and not knowing if or when it will improve. I'm still on hold and now worried I might be disconnected. Spoke to him again and back on hold again. He had thought I could get internet now, too, but I can't so the order has to be changed again. Hmmm!
Well, the sun is shining brightly and it will be another beautiful warm Florida day...wonder how long I'll have to stay home and wait for Spectrum?
Just been told I'll have basic T.V. service today. I'm not getting my hopes up.
Update: At 12:30 a Spectrum tech arrived and very, very quickly hooked me up to basic T.V. He said that the new digital cable was all ready to be turned on but he couldn't tell me when that would happen.
The next couple of scheduled appointments weren't kept, either, so I didn't hold much hope for today...and I was proven right in a way. A Spectrum tech phoned me at 8 and got me all excited until he said the new service simply and truly is not yet available in this park. Crap, but at least he spoke the truth. He transferred me to someone who would change my order to getting the basic T.V. service which still is available. WHY WOULD THIS NOT HAVE BEEN DONE ALREADY!!!
Anyway, he said that once the order was changed he could give me the service this morning. Fingers crossed.
I just spoke to very sleepy sounding rep who has put me on hold so he can check with his supervisor to see if my order can be changed. HoHum!
Oh yes, I was also told that we wouldn't automatically be put on the new digital service when it finally is ready but will have to schedule an appointment with Spectrum. The people you speak to are very nice and polite and helpful but somewhere along the line the customer service goes all to hell. I've told them I wouldn't use Spectrum if I had another choice.
I don't want DirectTV again because they require a contract. Putting a tower up requires a workman. I hate feeling helpless with such poor service and not knowing if or when it will improve. I'm still on hold and now worried I might be disconnected. Spoke to him again and back on hold again. He had thought I could get internet now, too, but I can't so the order has to be changed again. Hmmm!
Well, the sun is shining brightly and it will be another beautiful warm Florida day...wonder how long I'll have to stay home and wait for Spectrum?
Just been told I'll have basic T.V. service today. I'm not getting my hopes up.
Update: At 12:30 a Spectrum tech arrived and very, very quickly hooked me up to basic T.V. He said that the new digital cable was all ready to be turned on but he couldn't tell me when that would happen.
Friday, December 22, 2017
Watch or Speak
This is the tangent my mind wandered off to this morning. We all know people who are living a life that could be happier with just a few changes and, if you love them and are anything like me, you are going to speak up and tell them gently that they can do better. I can't conceive of anyone just standing by and allowing someone they love hurt their lives without trying to redirect them.
I firmly believe that one of the purposes of the seniors in the family is to pass on their "wisdom" to the younger generation. We see a lot. We've seen a lot, too. And what we say with love is worth listening to...even if you don't act on it.
I nag my children openly. I use much more tact when I'm nagging my grandchildren or my friends. All of this nagging comes from a heart that loves them unconditionally and wants only the best for them.
Now, what better way to know you're getting good advice than to know it's coming from someone who truly loves you?
I've made more mistakes in my life than all of my loved ones combined (maybe) but I do believe that every one of those mistakes taught me a lesson that benefits me to this day. I know that there will come a time when we can't change the path we're on or, even if we do, we'll have lost more than necessary. I know that time matters and how we use it today will affect tomorrow.
So, if and when I nag you, know that it comes from the heart.
I firmly believe that one of the purposes of the seniors in the family is to pass on their "wisdom" to the younger generation. We see a lot. We've seen a lot, too. And what we say with love is worth listening to...even if you don't act on it.
I nag my children openly. I use much more tact when I'm nagging my grandchildren or my friends. All of this nagging comes from a heart that loves them unconditionally and wants only the best for them.
Now, what better way to know you're getting good advice than to know it's coming from someone who truly loves you?
I've made more mistakes in my life than all of my loved ones combined (maybe) but I do believe that every one of those mistakes taught me a lesson that benefits me to this day. I know that there will come a time when we can't change the path we're on or, even if we do, we'll have lost more than necessary. I know that time matters and how we use it today will affect tomorrow.
So, if and when I nag you, know that it comes from the heart.
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Changes
After not being here in the park last year I wondered how the changes would affect me. Friends passed away or just not coming to the park any more were 2 of my worries. Life does change but it also does go on, no matter how you prefer it to be.
I've had a Swedish weaving get-together for years and the number of ladies who come to it always varied but this year no-one came at all. I'm not really surprised but I'm sorry that it has faded away to nothing. I'll still do my Swedish weaving but I'll do it at the trailer instead of bothering to go over to the clubhouse.
Another of my favorite rituals is Friday morning coffee on my patio and that has also shrunk considerably. About 3-6 ladies still come and that's nice. When I think about it, it allows all of us to converse together instead of in separate groups. I remember when 22 ladies came and I didn't have enough patio chairs for everyone so I had to ask a few ladies to bring their own.
Yes, things change for whatever reason and we just have to embrace those changes and make the best of them.
I've had a Swedish weaving get-together for years and the number of ladies who come to it always varied but this year no-one came at all. I'm not really surprised but I'm sorry that it has faded away to nothing. I'll still do my Swedish weaving but I'll do it at the trailer instead of bothering to go over to the clubhouse.
Another of my favorite rituals is Friday morning coffee on my patio and that has also shrunk considerably. About 3-6 ladies still come and that's nice. When I think about it, it allows all of us to converse together instead of in separate groups. I remember when 22 ladies came and I didn't have enough patio chairs for everyone so I had to ask a few ladies to bring their own.
Yes, things change for whatever reason and we just have to embrace those changes and make the best of them.
Dealership Parts
Some people will tell you to always buy car replacement parts at the dealership "because they're better and will last longer". I just purchased a battery for my car key at a Nissan dealership and it cost me $16 U.S. The replacement battery I bought 3 years ago in Canada at a computer store cost me $1.25 Cdn.
Now, what did we learn from this?
Now, what did we learn from this?
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
My Day Today
It started out quite nice. The sun was shining and it was lovely and warm as it should be in Florida. I had my morning coffee and then decided to go to Publix for some bananas. Of course I never got there because I change my mind all the time.
I decided to go to Walmart instead and, as I was driving there, the warning sign in my car showed that my key battery was low. No problem...I can get one at Walmart. Oh, no I can't. Every single clerk I spoke to was a Latina who did speak English but with a strong accent that made it difficult for me to understand. They also all directed me to the wrong department. Finally, in jewelry, they might have had the battery but they're not allowed to put it in for me. I'm afraid to wreck my key so I opted to go to a Nissan dealer because I don't know where else to go. At home I got my key battery at a computer store for $1.25 and the nice young man put it in for me.
So, off I go in bad traffic to where one of the Walmart clerks told me I'd find a Nissan dealer. It was far away and in horrendous traffic but I thought, what the heck, I've got the time. I finally found it and went inside to buy the battery. Below is a picture of the bill...
In case the amount isn't clear, they charged me $15.02 plus .98 cents tax for a total of $16.00 U.S. I choked as I paid this monstrosity of a bill!
Back in my car and heading home, I decided to stop in a Wendy's for lunch. Greeting me outside the entrance door were 2 homeless men, one wandering around aimlessly and one texting on his cell phone. Hmmm! I went inside to a very busy Wendy's and was greeted by Spanish music and Spanish language everywhere. Now, I'm not complaining about that. I know there are a couple of hundred thousand Puerto Ricans who have moved to central Florida because the hurricane 2 months ago just about destroyed their island. Also, Spanish people seem to be kinder and more polite to old gals like me than some caucasian people. It all sort of felt like being in Miami.
Anyway, I ate my lunch and, as I was leaving, noticed a large contraption kind of wagon in the courtyard. It was so full of grocery bags and tote bags that I first thought it was a vender out there but, no, it was another homeless person. Now I've seen homeless people carting their possessions before, usually on bikes or grocery carts but this was very different. First, the vast amount of possessions and, second, the vast amount of very nice and expensive looking totes. All were crammed full of something and their owner truly needed a bath and clean clothes.
As I walked to my car, my progress was blocked by the other 2 homeless men who were sitting sprawled out on the sidewalk so I walked on the road. As I passed them, they wished me a Merry Christmas.
I decided to go to Walmart instead and, as I was driving there, the warning sign in my car showed that my key battery was low. No problem...I can get one at Walmart. Oh, no I can't. Every single clerk I spoke to was a Latina who did speak English but with a strong accent that made it difficult for me to understand. They also all directed me to the wrong department. Finally, in jewelry, they might have had the battery but they're not allowed to put it in for me. I'm afraid to wreck my key so I opted to go to a Nissan dealer because I don't know where else to go. At home I got my key battery at a computer store for $1.25 and the nice young man put it in for me.
So, off I go in bad traffic to where one of the Walmart clerks told me I'd find a Nissan dealer. It was far away and in horrendous traffic but I thought, what the heck, I've got the time. I finally found it and went inside to buy the battery. Below is a picture of the bill...
Back in my car and heading home, I decided to stop in a Wendy's for lunch. Greeting me outside the entrance door were 2 homeless men, one wandering around aimlessly and one texting on his cell phone. Hmmm! I went inside to a very busy Wendy's and was greeted by Spanish music and Spanish language everywhere. Now, I'm not complaining about that. I know there are a couple of hundred thousand Puerto Ricans who have moved to central Florida because the hurricane 2 months ago just about destroyed their island. Also, Spanish people seem to be kinder and more polite to old gals like me than some caucasian people. It all sort of felt like being in Miami.
Anyway, I ate my lunch and, as I was leaving, noticed a large contraption kind of wagon in the courtyard. It was so full of grocery bags and tote bags that I first thought it was a vender out there but, no, it was another homeless person. Now I've seen homeless people carting their possessions before, usually on bikes or grocery carts but this was very different. First, the vast amount of possessions and, second, the vast amount of very nice and expensive looking totes. All were crammed full of something and their owner truly needed a bath and clean clothes.
As I walked to my car, my progress was blocked by the other 2 homeless men who were sitting sprawled out on the sidewalk so I walked on the road. As I passed them, they wished me a Merry Christmas.
Losing a Child
My girls know I become a basket case when they're sick so they do tolerate it well. They know I can't help worrying until they're on the road to recovery. That's the way it is, has always been, and will always be.
We have a new friend who has joined our card games on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She seems so calm and put together so I was shocked when she said her son had passed away last month. I searched her face for signs of needing help but she remained stone faced and I realized this is how she's managing to keep herself together. Underneath the exterior is a cauldron of grief that no-one can help alleviate.
We were playing cards when she told me she'd lost a lot of weight recently and it was because her son had just passed away. Being in a group like that meant I didn't want to subject her to questions so I told her how sorry I was (such a meaningless phrase) but stopped there because I was afraid she might break down. Dealing with another's grief is terribly difficult because we never know how much or how little to say.
I barely know this lady having just met her a week or so ago but I know I can't just ignore what she said and move on. I'll try to speak to her privately and tell her she's welcome to come and talk with me any time she needs a friend. I can't offer understanding because, thank heavens, I still have my 3 girls but I can offer a sympathetic ear. I hope I never, ever go through her experience.
I've had many deaths in my lifetime but the one that I don't think I could survive would be if I lost one of my children. To lose a parent, grandparent, spouse, or even a sibling could not compare with the loss of a child.
I don't like this blog...it's too sad.
We have a new friend who has joined our card games on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She seems so calm and put together so I was shocked when she said her son had passed away last month. I searched her face for signs of needing help but she remained stone faced and I realized this is how she's managing to keep herself together. Underneath the exterior is a cauldron of grief that no-one can help alleviate.
We were playing cards when she told me she'd lost a lot of weight recently and it was because her son had just passed away. Being in a group like that meant I didn't want to subject her to questions so I told her how sorry I was (such a meaningless phrase) but stopped there because I was afraid she might break down. Dealing with another's grief is terribly difficult because we never know how much or how little to say.
I barely know this lady having just met her a week or so ago but I know I can't just ignore what she said and move on. I'll try to speak to her privately and tell her she's welcome to come and talk with me any time she needs a friend. I can't offer understanding because, thank heavens, I still have my 3 girls but I can offer a sympathetic ear. I hope I never, ever go through her experience.
I've had many deaths in my lifetime but the one that I don't think I could survive would be if I lost one of my children. To lose a parent, grandparent, spouse, or even a sibling could not compare with the loss of a child.
I don't like this blog...it's too sad.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Thinking About Love
Love is one of the strangest human emotions and often hard to describe. I was just thinking about calling my family back home on Christmas day when all of them are together and, knowing I can't talk long, what I would say. I thought of telling whoever I was talking to to put it on speaker phone so everyone could hear and then telling them that I love them all. I do. Now my sister Sharon will be there and I'm not on good terms with her but I know I love her...and that's the tangent my thoughts followed.
How can we often dislike the person we love and continue to love them? Maybe it's because they aren't bad to the bone but have issues we can't tolerate. It doesn't mean we don't love the good side of them.
That's how it is with Sharon. I do love her and I know that she is mainly a very good person but she does have issues I dislike. It was when I discovered I couldn't trust her (she wouldn't go to the hospital with me when I broke my wrist) that the issues became too much for me to be around. It was "the straw that broke the camel's back"and I haven't been able to get past it.
We all had Christmas dinner last year at Cindy's and I sort of thought we might be able to heal the hurt but Sharon was brittle and cold so I turned away again. Some relationships are too much to handle even when you love someone.
Anyway, the deeper the love, the more you will tolerate from the person you love because it's so hard to give up on love. Sometimes you might just want to distance yourself for a short while to contemplate the value of the relationship. I'm a hard person...I know that is one of my faults but that's just the way it is. Do I work on changing it? I have and I've succeeded in some ways but I've come to the age where my time left will be with people who are kind and trustworthy. And there's nothing wrong with that!
How can we often dislike the person we love and continue to love them? Maybe it's because they aren't bad to the bone but have issues we can't tolerate. It doesn't mean we don't love the good side of them.
That's how it is with Sharon. I do love her and I know that she is mainly a very good person but she does have issues I dislike. It was when I discovered I couldn't trust her (she wouldn't go to the hospital with me when I broke my wrist) that the issues became too much for me to be around. It was "the straw that broke the camel's back"and I haven't been able to get past it.
We all had Christmas dinner last year at Cindy's and I sort of thought we might be able to heal the hurt but Sharon was brittle and cold so I turned away again. Some relationships are too much to handle even when you love someone.
Anyway, the deeper the love, the more you will tolerate from the person you love because it's so hard to give up on love. Sometimes you might just want to distance yourself for a short while to contemplate the value of the relationship. I'm a hard person...I know that is one of my faults but that's just the way it is. Do I work on changing it? I have and I've succeeded in some ways but I've come to the age where my time left will be with people who are kind and trustworthy. And there's nothing wrong with that!
Monday, December 18, 2017
Women's Lib
I posted on Facebook that the new movement by strong women who refuse to tolerate sexual harassment any more is akin to the Women's Liberation Movement of the 1960's. That movement changed the world and this new one will do the same.
I'd love to sit down and have a serious talk with my grandchildren about life pre-1960 and how our attitudes were affected by the social mores of the time. We women were brainwashed to believe that men were higher up on the totem pole than we were because of divine right. I think it might have taken longer than the 1960's for us to be enlightened if it wasn't for WW11 when it became necessary for many women to give up housework for factory jobs. Once they got a whiff of how accomplished they really were, it wasn't so easy to crawl back under their man's thumb. That was the opening for a group of brave and dedicated women to create the Women's Liberation Movement which, in turn, changed the world.
In the 1940's, when I was in grade school, most little girls aspired to become nurses (not doctors), secretaries (not business owners) or teachers. Honestly, those were pinnacles as far as we were concerned. And they weren't lifelong careers, either. They were stopgaps until we married and had a husband to support us. This is how societal brainwashing works. I think I remember even learning this in grade school...teachers didn't tell us that we could reach any height we chose.
When I married at 17, my husband stated that no wife of his would ever work. I was ecstatic that I'd married such a conscientious man! I wasn't so ecstatic a few years later when I realized I wanted more out of life so I got a little part-time job just to get myself out of the house. My husband wasn't happy.
I remember when the Women's Lib became news and I remember thinking they were a bunch of idiots. After all, women could never be the equal of men because we weren't as strong...but we were just as smart! Women's Lib struggled against stubborn and ignorant men and women in order to re-educate us all. I don't remember when the light dawned on me but, once realized, we women could never go back to being second class citizens. Women prospered from then on with many thanks to the strong women who dragged us out of the dark ages.
Of course, it's been an on-going struggled to preserve our equality but that fault lies firmly on the heads of men who prefer to use their power to subdue us. Thankfully, many (I honestly don't think most) men had a conscience and chose to treat the women in their lives as equals. The change had begun but had and has a long way to go.
Recently, another wave of strong women stepped forth and exposed the sexual harassment they'd suffered and also the men responsible. We've always known this happens but it's never been aired in the immense scale it is today. Heads began to role and, as women saw they were becoming successful in at least slowing down the sexual harassment, more women spoke up and young women paid attention.
Sexual or physical harassment by men towards women is based on power. The physical power and the financial power of some men create bullies. They use their power to harass because no-one, so far, has been able to stop them...hopefully that has changed even a little bit and will cease to be a social norm. The old adage, "boys will be boys" won't be accepted any more.
My daughters were born at a time when they benefited greatly from the Women's Liberation Movement. Their sons and daughters were brought up in homes where sexual equality was the norm and I have never heard even a whisper that one of my boys harassed a girl. Education worked.
Education and bottom lines are the answer to making our society a beautiful and safe place for all of our children. I can look back and see how social norms can suppress us and I can also see how education can change our social norms for the better.
Is there still sexual and physical harassment by ignorant males against weaker women? You bet there is! But "times, they are a'changing" and the light is not as far away as it once was.
I'd love to sit down and have a serious talk with my grandchildren about life pre-1960 and how our attitudes were affected by the social mores of the time. We women were brainwashed to believe that men were higher up on the totem pole than we were because of divine right. I think it might have taken longer than the 1960's for us to be enlightened if it wasn't for WW11 when it became necessary for many women to give up housework for factory jobs. Once they got a whiff of how accomplished they really were, it wasn't so easy to crawl back under their man's thumb. That was the opening for a group of brave and dedicated women to create the Women's Liberation Movement which, in turn, changed the world.
In the 1940's, when I was in grade school, most little girls aspired to become nurses (not doctors), secretaries (not business owners) or teachers. Honestly, those were pinnacles as far as we were concerned. And they weren't lifelong careers, either. They were stopgaps until we married and had a husband to support us. This is how societal brainwashing works. I think I remember even learning this in grade school...teachers didn't tell us that we could reach any height we chose.
When I married at 17, my husband stated that no wife of his would ever work. I was ecstatic that I'd married such a conscientious man! I wasn't so ecstatic a few years later when I realized I wanted more out of life so I got a little part-time job just to get myself out of the house. My husband wasn't happy.
I remember when the Women's Lib became news and I remember thinking they were a bunch of idiots. After all, women could never be the equal of men because we weren't as strong...but we were just as smart! Women's Lib struggled against stubborn and ignorant men and women in order to re-educate us all. I don't remember when the light dawned on me but, once realized, we women could never go back to being second class citizens. Women prospered from then on with many thanks to the strong women who dragged us out of the dark ages.
Of course, it's been an on-going struggled to preserve our equality but that fault lies firmly on the heads of men who prefer to use their power to subdue us. Thankfully, many (I honestly don't think most) men had a conscience and chose to treat the women in their lives as equals. The change had begun but had and has a long way to go.
Recently, another wave of strong women stepped forth and exposed the sexual harassment they'd suffered and also the men responsible. We've always known this happens but it's never been aired in the immense scale it is today. Heads began to role and, as women saw they were becoming successful in at least slowing down the sexual harassment, more women spoke up and young women paid attention.
Sexual or physical harassment by men towards women is based on power. The physical power and the financial power of some men create bullies. They use their power to harass because no-one, so far, has been able to stop them...hopefully that has changed even a little bit and will cease to be a social norm. The old adage, "boys will be boys" won't be accepted any more.
My daughters were born at a time when they benefited greatly from the Women's Liberation Movement. Their sons and daughters were brought up in homes where sexual equality was the norm and I have never heard even a whisper that one of my boys harassed a girl. Education worked.
Education and bottom lines are the answer to making our society a beautiful and safe place for all of our children. I can look back and see how social norms can suppress us and I can also see how education can change our social norms for the better.
Is there still sexual and physical harassment by ignorant males against weaker women? You bet there is! But "times, they are a'changing" and the light is not as far away as it once was.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Beautiful Purse
I could never use it every day because it's a little too glamorous to go with my t-shirts and clam diggers but I'll use ever fancy or half fancy opportunity to use it.
I hope John didn't think I was disappointed...I'm just so not used to high end anything and live a pretty frugal life. This bag is fancier than my so-called dressy clothes but it might dress them up a bit.
The more I get used to it, the more I love it!
New Bed Frame In
Myrna volunteered her husband, Wendell, to put my new bed frame together for me and I gladly accepted. I've wintered in this Florida park since 1998 and the kindness and generosity of the people here never cease to impress me. It's the reason I didn't worry about coming down here alone after Dennis died. I knew there were many people I could count on in an emergency.
Many of the men here worked in the trades all their lives and still love to tinker. Many are self made men who, like Dennis, are jack of all trades and fully capable of repairing just about anything. I shouldn't be saying "men" because Jan is one of the ladies who is also a jack of all trades and I'm sure there are more women here just like her.
Anyway, my bed is now sitting on a firm frame that will not come apart and I'm dearly thankful for that. I did laundry and washed the sheets and then hung them out to dry in the warm Florida breeze. I love sleeping on fresh air dried sheets!
I also went out shopping for a new land phone after deciding it made sense to have the Spectrum T.V., Internet, and phone bundle which would cost the same as just T.V. and internet. The phone with Spectrum allows unlimited free calling to Canada. When I got home and called Spectrum to change my order, I found out we're not set up here in the park for the phone, though, so I'll just keep it and take it home with me. One good thing is that the lady I spoke to waived the T.V./Internet installation fee because of all the problems I've had trying to get them installed and also promised me they would be installed tomorrow (Monday) with the new cable! I'll believe it when I see it.
I'm very impatient when I want something done unless there is absolutely nothing I can do but wait. Then I adapt and wait. I have a very strong feeling nothing will be done tomorrow because a lot of the new cable line is still laying above ground waiting to be buried.
Update: No-one arrived on Monday and no-one called from Spectrum to tell me why. I don't know how a business can be so inefficient.
Many of the men here worked in the trades all their lives and still love to tinker. Many are self made men who, like Dennis, are jack of all trades and fully capable of repairing just about anything. I shouldn't be saying "men" because Jan is one of the ladies who is also a jack of all trades and I'm sure there are more women here just like her.
Anyway, my bed is now sitting on a firm frame that will not come apart and I'm dearly thankful for that. I did laundry and washed the sheets and then hung them out to dry in the warm Florida breeze. I love sleeping on fresh air dried sheets!
I also went out shopping for a new land phone after deciding it made sense to have the Spectrum T.V., Internet, and phone bundle which would cost the same as just T.V. and internet. The phone with Spectrum allows unlimited free calling to Canada. When I got home and called Spectrum to change my order, I found out we're not set up here in the park for the phone, though, so I'll just keep it and take it home with me. One good thing is that the lady I spoke to waived the T.V./Internet installation fee because of all the problems I've had trying to get them installed and also promised me they would be installed tomorrow (Monday) with the new cable! I'll believe it when I see it.
I'm very impatient when I want something done unless there is absolutely nothing I can do but wait. Then I adapt and wait. I have a very strong feeling nothing will be done tomorrow because a lot of the new cable line is still laying above ground waiting to be buried.
Update: No-one arrived on Monday and no-one called from Spectrum to tell me why. I don't know how a business can be so inefficient.
Friday, December 15, 2017
My Haircut
I got my hair cut a few days ago by the same hairdresser I've had for a few years. She's really good and I was delighted to see she was still at the same salon. The haircut was excellent and I love it!
Now, as I sat waiting for my lady to finish with the customer ahead of me, I noticed another hairdresser from the back who just look odd. She was very overweight and wearing a tunic that bared one shoulder...the shoulder didn't look feminine but I still didn't catch on that this was actually a man. He wore tights and ballet slippers and had his hair up in a terribly messy pony tail. I was mostly curious about how messy he looked to be working in such a nice salon.
When he turned around, I was really surprised and, when I'm surprised, my face shows it by raised eyebrows and dropped mouth. I tried to catch myself before he saw my reaction and I don't think he did.
I'm left wondering why a person who is born male and wants to be and dress as a female doesn't do a better job of it? Then I ask myself why I should care? And then I answer, "because I'm old school".
Now, as I sat waiting for my lady to finish with the customer ahead of me, I noticed another hairdresser from the back who just look odd. She was very overweight and wearing a tunic that bared one shoulder...the shoulder didn't look feminine but I still didn't catch on that this was actually a man. He wore tights and ballet slippers and had his hair up in a terribly messy pony tail. I was mostly curious about how messy he looked to be working in such a nice salon.
When he turned around, I was really surprised and, when I'm surprised, my face shows it by raised eyebrows and dropped mouth. I tried to catch myself before he saw my reaction and I don't think he did.
I'm left wondering why a person who is born male and wants to be and dress as a female doesn't do a better job of it? Then I ask myself why I should care? And then I answer, "because I'm old school".
My Babies Are Sick
The fact that my sick babies are aged 58 and 59 does not and will never stop them from being my babies. Your children are your babies for life...and that's not such a bad thing. When you look at your children, you tend to see them as still dependent on you even though you, yourself, might have become dependent on them. They are your greatest gifts to the world and the meaning for your life. An that's that.
Kim was so very sick a few years ago with a cold that deepened to the point where she was hospitalized and her organs had begun to shut down. I'll be damned if I don't nag the life out of her to seek medical attention now when she's sick.
Cindy has a history of bronchitis and that's what she has now but she's more sensible than Kim and will see the doctor when she's sick. That doesn't stop me from worrying about her, too.
My Shelley, the nurse practitioner, is maybe too quick to take medication so I have to worry about her as well. Your children will always, in some way, make you worry the rest of your life.
The good news today is that my two sick girls are on the road to recovery so I can relax just a bit.
Kim was so very sick a few years ago with a cold that deepened to the point where she was hospitalized and her organs had begun to shut down. I'll be damned if I don't nag the life out of her to seek medical attention now when she's sick.
Cindy has a history of bronchitis and that's what she has now but she's more sensible than Kim and will see the doctor when she's sick. That doesn't stop me from worrying about her, too.
My Shelley, the nurse practitioner, is maybe too quick to take medication so I have to worry about her as well. Your children will always, in some way, make you worry the rest of your life.
The good news today is that my two sick girls are on the road to recovery so I can relax just a bit.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Games
Here in the park we play a card game called "65" every Tuesday and Thursday evening. It's a simple game that doesn't require us to use many brain cells and that leaves us lots of time to chat and laugh as we play. Mistakes are made and no-one cares because the purpose of the game is to socialize and not necessarily to win.
Since I got back to the park last month we've been meeting to play but only a handful of my old friends were here. Since then a few new people have joined us and last night we had 9 people squished around the table...but it was fun. We realize that we'll have to either expand to a larger table or use 2 of the small ones from now on and especially when more people arrive after the new year.
The faces might be newer or older but the spirit is still the same...good people filling our days with simple fun. Today I'm going with the Red Hat ladies for lunch. It's a fun group but we don't do much except have lunch once a month. Vicki, our leader, will use some of the dues ($1 per month) to buy poinsettias for some of our old residents who are now in nursing homes and that's a nice thing.
Tonight is Bingo. Funny how we seniors who have all the time in the world to do as we wish now find comfort in simple things like cards and Bingo. Of course, some travel the world but that's not really for me and I embrace my peaceful life as it is. I seem to have found my niche.
Since I got back to the park last month we've been meeting to play but only a handful of my old friends were here. Since then a few new people have joined us and last night we had 9 people squished around the table...but it was fun. We realize that we'll have to either expand to a larger table or use 2 of the small ones from now on and especially when more people arrive after the new year.
The faces might be newer or older but the spirit is still the same...good people filling our days with simple fun. Today I'm going with the Red Hat ladies for lunch. It's a fun group but we don't do much except have lunch once a month. Vicki, our leader, will use some of the dues ($1 per month) to buy poinsettias for some of our old residents who are now in nursing homes and that's a nice thing.
Tonight is Bingo. Funny how we seniors who have all the time in the world to do as we wish now find comfort in simple things like cards and Bingo. Of course, some travel the world but that's not really for me and I embrace my peaceful life as it is. I seem to have found my niche.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Haircut
I deliberately changed my hairstyle to one that only needed trimming every 3 months or so but it's now been 4 months and I hate it. It's being cut today so I'm hoping to love it again.
I've always tended to put off a haircut until the day my hair becomes unmanageable and that happened a few days ago...maybe earlier than that but I must have ignored it. Getting my hair cut is always a traumatic experience for me because there have been many times in my life that I was stuck with a bad haircut until it grew in enough to cut again. It helps to have a hairdresser I can trust but nothing is certain even then.
I remember one time receiving one of those awful haircuts and my son-in -law (not around any more) took one look at me and asked in a shocked tone, "What happened to your hair???". Only a woman can understand how that moment stayed with me all these years and still hurts.
Most women don't need "the perfect haircut". We just want something that doesn't make us wince when we look at it in the mirror.
I've always tended to put off a haircut until the day my hair becomes unmanageable and that happened a few days ago...maybe earlier than that but I must have ignored it. Getting my hair cut is always a traumatic experience for me because there have been many times in my life that I was stuck with a bad haircut until it grew in enough to cut again. It helps to have a hairdresser I can trust but nothing is certain even then.
I remember one time receiving one of those awful haircuts and my son-in -law (not around any more) took one look at me and asked in a shocked tone, "What happened to your hair???". Only a woman can understand how that moment stayed with me all these years and still hurts.
Most women don't need "the perfect haircut". We just want something that doesn't make us wince when we look at it in the mirror.
Monday, December 11, 2017
Bed Frame Shopping
So far the zip ties and duct tape have held my bed frame together quite well but I can't stop worrying about it so I'm going shopping today for a new one.
I've had a bit of a problem finding a place that sells them but I've found a couple within a 30 minute drive so I'll try those today. I also don't want a cheap one...I want one with a center bar for better support and it has to have rollers so it can be moved easily. This doesn't sound like much to ask for but I'm using the park's Tengonet for my internet and it fails me too often. It's terribly frustrating, too, when I find a store that sells bed frames, look at the directions and find out it's now a Payless Shoe Store! I lose patience and just shut everything down before I throw it down.
Yesterday was frustrating, too. I tried to meet Shelley at a hotel for lunch and couldn't get onto the right road. I bypassed it so many times and just ended up lost. I finally gave up and went home. It's hard to drive to an unfamiliar area and try to read road signs while heavy traffic is all around me. I hope I find these darned mattress stores today!
I knew I had to give in and buy a new bed frame because I can't stop thinking about it and that interferes with my sleep. The patchwork fix might last for a while but the Florida heat in summer will surely affect the plastic zip ties and the duct tape.
Sigh!
Update: Found ONE store with bedframes in stock...but not one with rollers. Marge came with me and then bought me lunch at Wendy's so it was a nice little trip any way. I ended up coming home and struggling with the totally inept Tengo internet trying to find what Home Depot or JCPenny had on their websites and would deliver (I didn't want to give my credit card number to some anonymous company). It took forever to get on the internet and then be able to order from JCPenny but then couldn't complete the order because of the weird park address. I called their customer service and got a treasure of a young lady who helped me through the process and I now will have a brand new bed frame delivered in about a week...I hope. There's free delivery to the park office and then someone from the office will bring it to my trailer. How nice.
I've had a bit of a problem finding a place that sells them but I've found a couple within a 30 minute drive so I'll try those today. I also don't want a cheap one...I want one with a center bar for better support and it has to have rollers so it can be moved easily. This doesn't sound like much to ask for but I'm using the park's Tengonet for my internet and it fails me too often. It's terribly frustrating, too, when I find a store that sells bed frames, look at the directions and find out it's now a Payless Shoe Store! I lose patience and just shut everything down before I throw it down.
Yesterday was frustrating, too. I tried to meet Shelley at a hotel for lunch and couldn't get onto the right road. I bypassed it so many times and just ended up lost. I finally gave up and went home. It's hard to drive to an unfamiliar area and try to read road signs while heavy traffic is all around me. I hope I find these darned mattress stores today!
I knew I had to give in and buy a new bed frame because I can't stop thinking about it and that interferes with my sleep. The patchwork fix might last for a while but the Florida heat in summer will surely affect the plastic zip ties and the duct tape.
Sigh!
Update: Found ONE store with bedframes in stock...but not one with rollers. Marge came with me and then bought me lunch at Wendy's so it was a nice little trip any way. I ended up coming home and struggling with the totally inept Tengo internet trying to find what Home Depot or JCPenny had on their websites and would deliver (I didn't want to give my credit card number to some anonymous company). It took forever to get on the internet and then be able to order from JCPenny but then couldn't complete the order because of the weird park address. I called their customer service and got a treasure of a young lady who helped me through the process and I now will have a brand new bed frame delivered in about a week...I hope. There's free delivery to the park office and then someone from the office will bring it to my trailer. How nice.
Sunday, December 10, 2017
Game Rooms/Internet Cafes
Some nasty inconsiderate jerk complained about our game rooms here in mid Florida so the police shut them down again. Yup, that's all it takes is for one ass to decide no-one should be doing what they don't want to do and we, the majority, lose out on an innocent entertainment. Of course, the laws need to be changed to make the game rooms legal but that could take forever. The big casinos don't want them because they're competition for them.
One of the pleasures I look forward to when I come to Florida is that I can gamble at these game rooms instead of the huge casino. I don't go to bars or race tracks (except the dog track). I don't smoke and rarely drink so doing a bit of gambling is fun for me. I hate it that a few people (or even one) who frown on gambling can use their influence to deprive those of us who like it.
Somehow, the game rooms all seem to reopen after a few months of inactivity by using a loophole in the law. Why they can never seem to stay open under that loophole is a mystery to me. I equate these almost illegal game rooms with the almost illegal pot stores. Police tolerate them because the majority of the citizens want them but have to act and shut them down when that one jerk makes a complaint. I bet that one jerk has vices that make our gambling look pretty innocent.
It's quite cool today but the sun is shining brightly. I'm meeting Shelley and John, Nicole and Sam for lunch at some fancy shmancy restaurant in Kissimmee. When I think about not wanting to spend so many months here in Florida, I have to think again how wonderful it is to be so close to Shelley and able to see her often. I've been fretting about the loss of so many close friends here but there are still a few who make my days very happy ones. I'm so very grateful for the almost 20 years I got to spend my winters in Florida and the truly wonderful friends I've made here. It's just that I hate to lose a single one of them!
And so today I'll bundle up a bit...high about 60F...and head off to have a marvelous lunch with my Florida family. How did I get so lucky?
One of the pleasures I look forward to when I come to Florida is that I can gamble at these game rooms instead of the huge casino. I don't go to bars or race tracks (except the dog track). I don't smoke and rarely drink so doing a bit of gambling is fun for me. I hate it that a few people (or even one) who frown on gambling can use their influence to deprive those of us who like it.
Somehow, the game rooms all seem to reopen after a few months of inactivity by using a loophole in the law. Why they can never seem to stay open under that loophole is a mystery to me. I equate these almost illegal game rooms with the almost illegal pot stores. Police tolerate them because the majority of the citizens want them but have to act and shut them down when that one jerk makes a complaint. I bet that one jerk has vices that make our gambling look pretty innocent.
It's quite cool today but the sun is shining brightly. I'm meeting Shelley and John, Nicole and Sam for lunch at some fancy shmancy restaurant in Kissimmee. When I think about not wanting to spend so many months here in Florida, I have to think again how wonderful it is to be so close to Shelley and able to see her often. I've been fretting about the loss of so many close friends here but there are still a few who make my days very happy ones. I'm so very grateful for the almost 20 years I got to spend my winters in Florida and the truly wonderful friends I've made here. It's just that I hate to lose a single one of them!
And so today I'll bundle up a bit...high about 60F...and head off to have a marvelous lunch with my Florida family. How did I get so lucky?
Saturday, December 09, 2017
Why Are We Here?
I've spent a lifetime trying to figure out exactly why we're here. Some people live lives of luxury and some lives of extreme poverty. Some (it seems very few) are happy souls and some (it seems too many) are unhappy because of their station in life or their personal circumstances. Some people dedicate their lives to helping others while some wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone in need. Some live to a ripe old age and some die before birth.
Religious people have no problem figuring out why they're here and where they'll go when they die and I envy them their certainty but it's something I've never had. I get hung up on the simple fact that, if there is this loving god looking after us, why does he/she allow people to suffer terribly at times? What kind of loving god would allow a little child to be abused or murdered? I have never been able to accept a god that would allow this to happen.
Beyond the religious aspect, I do believe we're here for some reason because there seems to be no logic to our existence. Are we supposed to use our precious time on earth chasing wealth? From what I see, wealth and power appear to be what most of us are chasing.
The only fragment of logic for our existence at all is the fallout from acts of kindness. Are we here to learn how to be kind to one another for no reason other than to make someone a little happier? It makes more sense than to use our moments to fill up our bank accounts.
I don't know why we're here but I believe I'll find out on the other side.
Religious people have no problem figuring out why they're here and where they'll go when they die and I envy them their certainty but it's something I've never had. I get hung up on the simple fact that, if there is this loving god looking after us, why does he/she allow people to suffer terribly at times? What kind of loving god would allow a little child to be abused or murdered? I have never been able to accept a god that would allow this to happen.
Beyond the religious aspect, I do believe we're here for some reason because there seems to be no logic to our existence. Are we supposed to use our precious time on earth chasing wealth? From what I see, wealth and power appear to be what most of us are chasing.
The only fragment of logic for our existence at all is the fallout from acts of kindness. Are we here to learn how to be kind to one another for no reason other than to make someone a little happier? It makes more sense than to use our moments to fill up our bank accounts.
I don't know why we're here but I believe I'll find out on the other side.
Wednesday, December 06, 2017
The Bed Frame
I don't know why my bed frame keeps coming apart because there is no wild activity on my bed...I don't even change position much when I'm sleeping. But it is gradually coming apart again but this time it might be from the top end instead of the bottom end where Jan "securely" screwed the connection on tightly. I don't know if it's actually impossible to secure that connection or if, this time, it's the connection at the top end. I've asked Jan to come over and help me with it again. My fear is that lifting the heavy weight of the box spring will give me a heart attack. Honestly. I'm a weakling, always have been.
One good thing is that I worried how I'd get a bed frame home in my car if I bought a new one but Jan already offered to use her SUV. The problem is that I can't seem to find a store that has them in stock. Home Depot, Target, and Walmart carry them but are out of stock. That leaves me a few of the stores that specialize in selling beds, etc. but the price will be higher. I'm at the point where I just don 't care so I'm going shopping today for a new bed frame that might have to be ordered but at least it's something to look forward to.
Update: Jan came to my rescue again but this time she came with what I think might be called zip ties and duct tape. We took both the mattress and boxspring off the frame and, sure enough, the connections on both top end and bottom end were loose and ready to come apart. I was pretty discouraged but Jan has a mechanical mind and figured the bottom connection probably never actually came with the frame and would never hold it tightly enough...hence the zip ties and duct tape (the handywoman's friend). She put on the zip ties and tightened them and, lo and behold, the frame tightened up as never before. She then wrapped a lot of duct tape around the ties and I can't imagine it ever coming apart.
It turned out that the top connection was loose also so Jan repeated there what she'd done on the bottom. We put the boxspring and mattress back on and the bed felt sturdy for the first time. If it comes apart again I'll throw it out!!
So, when I sell this trailer in a few years and the new owners see how the bed frame is held together, they might laugh but the also might think we were pretty smart. Nah, they'll laugh.
One good thing is that I worried how I'd get a bed frame home in my car if I bought a new one but Jan already offered to use her SUV. The problem is that I can't seem to find a store that has them in stock. Home Depot, Target, and Walmart carry them but are out of stock. That leaves me a few of the stores that specialize in selling beds, etc. but the price will be higher. I'm at the point where I just don 't care so I'm going shopping today for a new bed frame that might have to be ordered but at least it's something to look forward to.
Update: Jan came to my rescue again but this time she came with what I think might be called zip ties and duct tape. We took both the mattress and boxspring off the frame and, sure enough, the connections on both top end and bottom end were loose and ready to come apart. I was pretty discouraged but Jan has a mechanical mind and figured the bottom connection probably never actually came with the frame and would never hold it tightly enough...hence the zip ties and duct tape (the handywoman's friend). She put on the zip ties and tightened them and, lo and behold, the frame tightened up as never before. She then wrapped a lot of duct tape around the ties and I can't imagine it ever coming apart.
It turned out that the top connection was loose also so Jan repeated there what she'd done on the bottom. We put the boxspring and mattress back on and the bed felt sturdy for the first time. If it comes apart again I'll throw it out!!
So, when I sell this trailer in a few years and the new owners see how the bed frame is held together, they might laugh but the also might think we were pretty smart. Nah, they'll laugh.
Tuesday, December 05, 2017
Deteriorating Society
There was a time long ago when everyday people would step in and put a stop to it when they saw abuse happening. There was a time in our society when we had standards to keep and everyone, regardless of race or nationality were expected to live by our standards.
Someone posted a video yesterday of a woman screaming and berating a young girl at Eastgate Mall in Hamilton, Ontario because she, the customer, wasn't happy with her order. People stood by watching or taking pictures and video of the abuse but not one person stepped up to stop it. In the comments of the post, their excuse for not trying to intervene was because they feared being shot. What a complete load of crap! What they really feared was being drawn into a drama that wasn't their own.
Wonder why our society is deteriorating to the point where we allow people to publicly abuse others? Well, this is why. Just how many people does it take to step between the screamer and the young girl who must have been terrified? Just how many people does it take to make the point that this kind of abuse will not be tolerated in our society? It might have only taken one person because bullies like the customer will only behave like this if they're given free rein...and this awful woman was given free rein to abuse a helpless young girl in front of countless observers who did nothing but watch and take pictures.
The irate customer's children watched all of this. There must have been many children in the food court watching it, too. What message did they receive? The message was either that uncontrollable anger will be tolerated or that no-one can be counted on to help you when someone is abusing you.
In our old society, people would have intervened because that kind of behaviour was taboo. Nowadays it seems that bystanders have lost their empathy for the victim and are just happy it's not them. One of the Facebook comments was that, well it was only verbal and not physical abuse. I wonder if that person would have stood by and allowed someone to scream at and berate one of their loved ones without trying to prevent it?
It angers me so much that anyone could see a young girl being abused like this, frightened and crying, and not try to stop it. I know our society is not what it once was but this is a disgusting turn of events with no reversal in sight.
The out-of-control screamer was allowed to walk away with her children.
Someone posted a video yesterday of a woman screaming and berating a young girl at Eastgate Mall in Hamilton, Ontario because she, the customer, wasn't happy with her order. People stood by watching or taking pictures and video of the abuse but not one person stepped up to stop it. In the comments of the post, their excuse for not trying to intervene was because they feared being shot. What a complete load of crap! What they really feared was being drawn into a drama that wasn't their own.
Wonder why our society is deteriorating to the point where we allow people to publicly abuse others? Well, this is why. Just how many people does it take to step between the screamer and the young girl who must have been terrified? Just how many people does it take to make the point that this kind of abuse will not be tolerated in our society? It might have only taken one person because bullies like the customer will only behave like this if they're given free rein...and this awful woman was given free rein to abuse a helpless young girl in front of countless observers who did nothing but watch and take pictures.
The irate customer's children watched all of this. There must have been many children in the food court watching it, too. What message did they receive? The message was either that uncontrollable anger will be tolerated or that no-one can be counted on to help you when someone is abusing you.
In our old society, people would have intervened because that kind of behaviour was taboo. Nowadays it seems that bystanders have lost their empathy for the victim and are just happy it's not them. One of the Facebook comments was that, well it was only verbal and not physical abuse. I wonder if that person would have stood by and allowed someone to scream at and berate one of their loved ones without trying to prevent it?
It angers me so much that anyone could see a young girl being abused like this, frightened and crying, and not try to stop it. I know our society is not what it once was but this is a disgusting turn of events with no reversal in sight.
The out-of-control screamer was allowed to walk away with her children.
Monday, December 04, 2017
Those Around Us
It's a well known fact that the people you hang out with will have the strongest impact on the kind of life you lead. This is why parents try to steer their children towards decent friends. As a teen I always had those kind of friends mainly because the other kind scare me...I'm not adventurous. Then, once married, I was discouraged from having girlfriends because it bothered my husband. I should never have allowed myself to be influenced that way but I did and it cost me dearly. Good girlfriends are worth their weight in gold...they will have your back when no-one else will and they will give you advice you might desperately need to hear.
Anyway, once I broke those unfair ties and began gathering a few girlfriends, it just felt so good. A woman will understand you better than any man can. You can be freer in your conversation with a woman because they do understand. Don't get me wrong, I do love the company of a man but the conversation will always be different than with women. Men just aren't as esoteric. I hope I got the meaning of that word right...I mean deep thinking and I can't find my dictionary.
I've been very selective with my lady friends. It takes me a while to figure them out and I can't deal with dishonesty in any form so, if you're my friend, you're a pretty wonderful person. It's a big mistake for a husband or boyfriend to deter his lady from having contact with her friends because that contact is what rounds her out. I found that a close lady friend will tell you the brutal truth but spoken in gentle and kind words. We all need to hear the brutal truth once in a while.
As I get older, so do my lady friends, and it worries me I might start losing them. Some are like sisters to me and it will be a horrible thing to lose even one of them. But then it might be me who goes first. Life goes on no matter how much you might think it ends with you. My hope is that my daughters have learned the great value of good girlfriends in their lives...I believe they have!
Anyway, choose your friends wisely and they will enhance your life.
Anyway, once I broke those unfair ties and began gathering a few girlfriends, it just felt so good. A woman will understand you better than any man can. You can be freer in your conversation with a woman because they do understand. Don't get me wrong, I do love the company of a man but the conversation will always be different than with women. Men just aren't as esoteric. I hope I got the meaning of that word right...I mean deep thinking and I can't find my dictionary.
I've been very selective with my lady friends. It takes me a while to figure them out and I can't deal with dishonesty in any form so, if you're my friend, you're a pretty wonderful person. It's a big mistake for a husband or boyfriend to deter his lady from having contact with her friends because that contact is what rounds her out. I found that a close lady friend will tell you the brutal truth but spoken in gentle and kind words. We all need to hear the brutal truth once in a while.
As I get older, so do my lady friends, and it worries me I might start losing them. Some are like sisters to me and it will be a horrible thing to lose even one of them. But then it might be me who goes first. Life goes on no matter how much you might think it ends with you. My hope is that my daughters have learned the great value of good girlfriends in their lives...I believe they have!
Anyway, choose your friends wisely and they will enhance your life.
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Some Bad Moments
Right now I['m taking a rest before tackling the &^%$#%*&^ bed frame again. I'm definitely not cut out for hard physical labor and this bed frame is just too much for me. There is a connection in the middle that allows you to adjust the width of the frame and I apparently didn't tighten it well enough back when it fell off before. It fell off again! It's really difficult for me to fix this because I have so little strength but I tackled it anyway, pulling off the mattress but unable to remove the box spring because it's too heavy. I had to lift it up from one end and rest it on my head in order to have 2 hands free to re-attach the connection. This is a lot harder than it sounds!
Right now I'm resting before taking one more stab at it and tighten it better with pliers. Life is still handing me lemons today, though, because I decided to turn on the air conditioner to make my work more comfortable and it isn't working. I can't stand it! I don't know if it's an electrical problem or the air conditioner is just broken...in trailers you never know. It definitely isn't worth hiring someone to fix it because it's 20 years old so I just might have to buy a window air conditioner to make do. I seldom use air conditioning here but there are times, like now, that some cooler air would be welcome.
Anyway, these problems are just "things" and not people so it's not as bad as it could be.
Update: Jan read my whining on Facebook and came over to help me. She discovered quite quickly that the reason the connection was giving me trouble was because I was trying to put it on the wrong way. She also checked the breaker box and rebooted my air conditioner which now works fine. She's amazing and I'm pitiful!
Right now I'm resting before taking one more stab at it and tighten it better with pliers. Life is still handing me lemons today, though, because I decided to turn on the air conditioner to make my work more comfortable and it isn't working. I can't stand it! I don't know if it's an electrical problem or the air conditioner is just broken...in trailers you never know. It definitely isn't worth hiring someone to fix it because it's 20 years old so I just might have to buy a window air conditioner to make do. I seldom use air conditioning here but there are times, like now, that some cooler air would be welcome.
Anyway, these problems are just "things" and not people so it's not as bad as it could be.
Update: Jan read my whining on Facebook and came over to help me. She discovered quite quickly that the reason the connection was giving me trouble was because I was trying to put it on the wrong way. She also checked the breaker box and rebooted my air conditioner which now works fine. She's amazing and I'm pitiful!
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