It's Passed

Well, whatever was bothering me has passed. Saturday I was exhausted with high anxiety of unknown origin, Sunday and Monday I felt fine with only a hint of that awful feeling of impending doom, and today I feel perfectly normal.

Anyone who has had depression knows that very uncomfortable and long lasting feeling of dread in the back of their minds. The worst part is that you don't know what is causing it so it's impossible to deal with.

My ESP works in somewhat the same way but I never associate that with depression, maybe because it's just a fleeting warning that doesn't hang on. I pay close attention to those feelings because they've saved my hide a few times in my life. It's similar to intuition and something we should never dismiss.

Anyway, the anxiety is gone now just as mysteriously as it appeared.

I've decided to go out of the Ebay business, too, and gathered up my tiny stock and boxed it for sale at Mohawk College. I have 2 items on Ebay at the moment, one a terrific yard sale find, but selling on Ebay is something I can do without because there are a lot of things I'd like to embark on right now. I want to take a meditation class if I can find one going on during the daytime and I still want to volunteer at a hospice. The only thing holding me back from the hospice is that it requires 2 months training and I haven't had the time for it.

I also should get back into my story writing. Lately that has required concentration that I haven't been able to muster up. I was also going to have another yard sale this summer to get rid of most of my craft supplies but it was too hot to think of doing. The best thing might be to just take it all to Interval house if it's something they could use.

There is certainly no lack of potential projects on my list and there are many more yet to be considered. My biggest ongoing project, though, is decluttering my house and bringing it down to bare bones neatness. That's going to take a long, long, long time. Sigh!

Plants With a Story

Most often we plan and plant our garden, water, feed and weed throughout the summer and then just enjoy what we have created but the flowers in the pictures above sort of created themselves.

In the first picture you see a lot of different pots, some cracked or damaged from time and weather. They sit in a little group of leftovers just before you step into my backyard. They are indeed leftovers. I never throw old pots away just because they aren't perfect anymore because old and weathered ones have a charm of their own. This little grouping represents pots that have seen their glory days but still have a place in my garden. I filled them with leftover plants from my planned garden plots and pots, too. That little area is especially lush this year and it must be due to the hot and humid summer we had.

In the large black pot (reclaimed from some tree or bush I once brought home) is a variegated impatiens that I wasn't sure would live when I planted it. I'd stripped the soil from around it to bring it home from Florida and then took too long to replant it. But I never give up hope if there's any chance at all so I did plant it and used a piece of sweet potato vine to keep the poor sickly thing from falling over and nurtured them until they grew healthy and lovely.

In the second picture is a pot holding another of those pathetic, half dead variegated impatiens, this time held up with a few pieces of regular impatiens. It, too, has grown healthy and lush, almost brought back from the dead. It just goes to show you that sometimes a sickly plant just needs a little time to recover it's beauty and it's best not to give up hope too soon. I think it helped to put other plants around the sick ones so what was left of their poor roots wouldn't dry out from too much sun exposure.

It's fun to put together your own vision of what you want your garden to look like but I think it's more fun to work with a struggling plant and give it new life. I should have taken a picture of the two once sickly variegated impatiens to show just what bad shape they were in last May. I'll bet they're still twisted in odd shapes underneath but it doesn't matter. They've survived and flourished.

Depression? Maybe, Maybe Not

I made a firm decision today. I will not live my life with the worry of my old foe, depression, coming back upon me. I don't have the time for that nonsense because there is too much fun out there to be had and I don't want to waste time on a vague possibility that probably won't ever become reality.

I was talking to Faye this morning and telling her about my worries that I won't recognize it if I am sinking into depression. I said that my only clue is that I would tend to overreact to things and she pointed out that I do that anyway and it's part of my normal personality. Well! I'm not sure if I should be insulted but she just could be right.

I do jump into things whole hog and jump out the same way. I really enjoy most things and the ones I don't, I just stay away from so I'm usually a happy camper. Maybe I do become too enthusiastic about my present obsessions and that could be an irritating quality I should tone down. I'm just not perfect, don't you know!

Oh well, today is beautiful and I have a few small chores to tend to and then I can spend the rest of the day doing whatever I choose. Life is good!

Apprehension...Why?

Yesterday I slept 4 hours in the afternoon, totally exhausted and not knowing why. Then I had to fight to stay awake until 9 P.M., sleeping through until 8 A.M. this morning. All through this weird period, I had the strangest feeling of apprehension or anxiety for an unknown reason. It was as though I felt something horrible was about to happen but I had no idea what it was.

Since I suffered from depression for many years, I know this is a dangerous sign so I can't ignore it. I really have nothing much to be depressed about so I'm hoping this was just me having a bad day and I'll go my merry way from here on. It's been so long since I had depression that I've assumed I'd be free of it forever and, with luck, I will.

The danger of depression is that you are deep in the dungeons of it before you recognize you're in trouble. I'm very knowledgeable about all aspects of depression but that didn't help me recognize it's return when I thought I was safely off antidepressants years ago. Each time I was weaned off antidepressants, I thought I was "cured" but gradually the depression would slither back in and I'd be in misery again.

I've been off medication for 10 years, not counting the year I voluntarily went back on when my husband was sick. I've been happy and had no worrisome symptoms of depression in all that time so maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill now. But depression is like cancer in a way. Once you are afflicted, even if you were cured years ago, you still worry that it might come back.

I'm just going to hope that yesterday was an anomaly in my happy little life and wont recur. What the heck else can one do?

End Of Yard Saleing...Maybe

I usually love yard saleing but I'm really getting tired of all the kid's toys and clothes that are put out now. We've really got to stop filling our children's worlds with obscene masses of toys. If so many toys are sold at yard sales, how many more are in the houses they came from?

To be honest, I wouldn't mind it so much if my daughter and grandson would allow me to keep bringing some wonderful finds to their houses but they limit me. Today I found a really cute tiny stool with a heart folk-arted on top so I bought it as a time-out chair for Nolan. Now I have to convince Kim or Nick that he'll need it at their house one day. I figured that the little heart on top would be to remind Nolan that, even if he was in trouble and having to sit in time-out, he was still very much loved. Cute, right?

I don't know for sure but I think I may have to find a new interest.

9/11..Nine Years Have Passed

Could it really be that nine years have passed since that horrible day? We all watched with horror as news broadcasts brought us the disaster live on T.V. and I remember my mind not being able to process that it was actually happening. The sight of human beings flinging themselves out of 30 or 40 storey windows; the crowds of ashen covered people with absolute terror in their eyes; buildings collapsing and us knowing how many people were still inside. It was pure horror for us to watch and much worse for those who lost their lives.

But it did happen and the same kind of people who are responsible for that disaster are still around today. Canada has allowed them to immigrate into our country because of lax immigration laws. And once they are ferreted out and their plans to cause the loss of more innocent lives discovered, do we send them back to their own country? No. We give them a fair trial, set them up in cushy jails for a short time, support their families, and allow them to stay. They must laugh at us.

And soon a Muslim mosque will be built very close to the wreckage of the twin towers, this being allowed because the United States government is almost as whimpy as ours. Freedom of religion and civil rights must prevail, don't you know!! What about common decency and respect for the people who were murdered by Muslim fanatics? I know that not all Muslims are murderous nuts but they must realize it is a slap in the face to build their mosque so close to the spot their people destroyed.

None of us who were alive to witness that day will ever forget it. The question now is will we give in to "political correctness" and keep allowing these potential terrorists the so-called right to immigrate into our countries? Unless our immigration laws are changed, the terrorists will continue to arrive on our shores and welcomed with open arms and idiot smiles. Somewhere in Muslim land is a stand-up comic making jokes about the gullible Canadians and Americans.

Honda Air Conditioning

Last week I noticed the air conditioning of my 2001 Honda Accord wasn't throwing out much cool air. Gradually, I could only get cool air on the top two settings with next to nothing coming out of the bottom two settings. On Tuesday of this week, the whole thing stopped working while Faye, Donna, and I took our trip over to Niagara Falls. Having to keep the windows open for fresh air meant our hairdo's didn't hold up. It was sort of nice, though, to leave the windows open for a change because we never seem to do that anymore.

Yesterday I stopped over at my favorite garage and made an appointment for them to look at the car today. In the meantime, I did some internet research and discovered that my problem was probably the blower resistor or the blower switch. I haven't got a clue what these are but that didn't stop me from suggesting to the garage manager that he should check out these things. Big mistake. Because I used words like "resistor", he thought I knew something about mechanics and started to talk to me in mechanicese. I finally admitted I didn't know what I was talking about and that I'd leave it up to him.

I was right, though. That was the problem and it was all fixed by early this afternoon and now my car air conditioning works perfectly. It cost $335 for the part, labor, freon topup, and taxes. I don't know what I would have done if I'd needed a whole new air conditioning system in my almost 10 year old car.

I've mentioned before how much I love this car. It's the most reliable car we've ever had and I don't care one bit that it's an import. It's reliable!

Who is in Charge?

Most people would not want to be a politician. First and foremost, for me, it would be boring and disheartening. Boring because that's what politicians are, and disheartening because there is so much corruption among those boring politicians.

I saw on the news yesterday that the most expensive and luxurious highschool has been built in California. Since everyone knows that California is suffering overwhelming debts and laying off teachers, why would a board of education do something as stupid as to allow a luxury public school to be built in their district? This is a board that the public allots taxpayer money to be used to the best advantage of the children.

In my own city, we have a mayor who has doggedly gone against public opinion (the public which he serves) and held fast to his decision to build a multi-million dollar stadium in the worst possible location. Because of his rigidity, we may lose a football team that has been associated with our city and we also may lose the PanAm games that spurred the building of the new stadium in the first place.

Aren't these politicians supposed to be serving the public which pays their wages? Aren't the best interests of the public supposed to always be considered whenever a politician spends a cent of taxpayer money? How do these politicians get away with doing so much damage to their constituents?

I think the average citizen doesn't pay enough attention to what their elected officials are up to until they do something absolutely intolerable. By then, it's usually too late and public funds have been wasted once again.

Personally, I don't think there is any such animal as an honest politician. If they weren't corrupt before they were elected, then the rot set in soon afterward. There are just too many ways that tax dollars can be spirited away without a trace. When crooked politicians are caught red handed and finally have to face criminal charges, it's not because some tax payers got fed up but because our free press has done their job by compiling evidence that can't be ignored.

The story about the luxury highschool in California is so brazen, though. California is close to being bankrupt and some idiot school board head thought it was a good idea to spend 578 million dollars to build one school. Where is even the common sense in a decision like this?

I guess we can always have a voice at election time and get rid of losers like this but I don't vote. Is it possible I'm part of the problem? But I just can't in good conscience give my vote to the best of a bad lot. Someone is voting these jerks in, though, so who is ultimately to blame?

Maybe we're all doomed.

Be Careful What You Wish For

There is an old saying, "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it." and that's what happened today. I've been squawking about the heat and humidity and sort of wishing for the cooler weather of fall and today it arrived. It's rainy, cool, and the dampness has made my bare feet cold. I don't like it.

All I want is perfect weather every day, warm and sunny with a gentle breeze. Is that too much to wish for???

Sharia Law in Canada?

I watched this documentary on the internet this morning and found it explained a lot about Muslims and Sharia law. The documentary is 44 minutes long but it goes a long way in explaining Islam, Muslims in Canada, and the dangers of Sharia law being implemented in Canada.

It's a frightening concept but I honestly can't see it being thrust upon us unless our ridiculously weak government allows it. There would be untold bloodshed because the vast majority of women in Canada would never stand still to be dominated under such a sexist law.

The film shows the reality that certain factions are integrating Canada and continuing to make attempts to have Sharia law made legal in this country. The film is long but very informative and educational. We need to understand and recognize the dangers presented here.

http://www.nfb.ca/film/sharia_in_canada_part_1

Imipramine for the Bladder

Imipramine acts as a sedative, calming you and apparently your bladder. I had sort of gotten used to crawling out of bed in the middle of the night to pee but occasionally I was making the trip a couple times and that interferes with your sleep something terrible.

Since I began taking 25 mg of Imipramine every night, I almost never have to make that middle of the night trip. I usually sleep uninterrupted from 10:30 P.M. until 6 or 6:30 A.M. It's wonderful how well you greet the day when you've had a good night's sleep.

I don't like taking drugs but sometimes you have to consider your quality of life. When I get at least a good 6 hours sleep, I can get a lot done but before Imipramine I often survived on 4 hours if I was lucky. You can handle the occasional night like that but sooner or later you're going to sleep all afternoon to make up for it. Then the vicious cycle of not being able to fall asleep at night begins because you rested in the afternoon.

I still have the odd night or two when sleep won't come but for the most part I sleep very well now...thanks to Imipramine and a clear conscience.

Eating Sensibly...-11

I didn't want to get weighed today because I've eaten so badly for the past two weeks. I don't know what was bothering me but I was trying to calm myself with food, that's for sure.

I went down to the basement about 9:30 this morning to sort and pack the jewelry I'll be selling at the hospital on Wednesday. At one point, I had to go into my sewing room for pins and that's where my scale happens to be. I ignored it at first, fearful of what it was going to show, but decided I had to face the music some time so I stepped on the scale. Much to my amazement, I was still down 1 pound from when I came home in April. I haven't weighed myself in 2 weeks so I'm not sure exactly what I gained or lost but I kind of think it was a half pound gain. Not bad considering how much I'd worried I'd gained.

It's been very difficult for me this summer and I have to keep telling myself that at least I'm 11 pounds less than I was last February. I know it's not much but I haven't given up all hope that one day I'll do better.

Oh well, all I can do is try.

Risque Dinner Theatre

I was writing an e-mail to my sister-in-law, Joyce, this morning and talking about dinner theatre. It reminded me of one that my husband and I attended about 10 years or more ago, one I'll never forget.

I knew that the show (musical) was going to be risque but I had no idea that all the performers in the show would be nude. This wouldn't have bothered me so much if our table had been further back in the room but, as luck would have it, we sat at a table directly in front of the stage.

I love dinner theatre and it matters not to me how good the acting is because, if it's bad, I can just analyze it for my enjoyment. Having a stage full of naked people close enough to touch means I have no memory of how good or bad the acting or singing was in this particular show. I remember trying not to look shocked and trying not to let my eyes dwell on some of the anatomy too damn close to my face. Some were huge, by the way.

Being in the front row and being of a certain age means that you just might be used by the actors. And, OMG, that is exactly what happened. The performers were being given directions on oral sex by using a banana (OMG!) and one decided to ask me if I'd care to give a demonstration. I just about died on the spot! If I could have run out of there that moment I would have been gone but I was afraid of making a fool of myself. Thank heavens they ignored me from then on.

I'm not a prude (or at least I tell myself this) but I was way out of my league attending this show. My advice to anyone attending any live show is to sit as far back as you can and then you can handle anything the actors do onstage or to the unfortunate souls in the front row.

Eat, Pray, Love...Just So-So

I think my biggest problem with "Eat, Pray, Love" was the concept of a woman in her 30's leaving everything in her life behind...successful job, friends, lovers...and heading off to Italy, India, and Bali to find herself. Since this is based on a true story, I can't help but think the real woman in the case was a little whacky.

I kept wondering why she needed to immerse herself in foreign countries with foreign languages and religions in order to find her inner child. Couldn't she have found it in her own country or at least in an English speaking country?

I really do understand the idea of wanting to put a great distance between yourself and your present life if you want to find the freedom to figure yourself out. If I hadn't had kids, there were many times in my life that I would love to have done that. If I'd also had unlimited funds, I might have run far away to Ireland and begun a new life there. But never in my wildest dreams would I have considered going to the slums of India to find myself.

Pretend I had no children and lots of money (with no money, my runaway place would have been British Columbia...see, I did have pie in the sky plans). Anyway, with money, I would have filled a few suitcases and flown to Ireland where I would have settled in a sweet and friendly village. The vast distance from Canada would have allowed my mind to relax and discover what I really wanted out of my life. I could maybe have learned what the world had to offer.

But that didn't happen. I don't regret the way I've spent my life, other than not going to university, because I've grown to realize that if you live long enough, you will find yourself wherever you happen to be. It's only in the past few years that I've become comfortable that I'm where I'm supposed to be and learning the most important lesson you can learn in life, and that is to know you truly can consciously become a better person if you choose to take that road.

I've always loved my family but I don't think I fully appreciated them in earlier years. I was so deep into my own personal troubles that it was almost impossible to look outside myself. It took a lot of years but once I emerged and took in the wide, wide world around me, I began to see things differently. There are so many possibilities and so many areas to explore. Of course, my timid nature won't allow me to take great chances but that's okay. You also have to accept your limitations without resentment.

To really find yourself, you simply have to calmly assess the truths in your life. You can grow from there.

Getting the Porch Done

My usual handyman came over this morning to look at the porch and give his opinion on what needed doing. I trust this man completely and that's why I use his services whenever needed. He wasn't happy with what "Dean" had done to the porch 4 years ago, putting untreated plywood over concrete, and said it just might have caused more erosion in the concrete. This makes sense to me.

He said he could patch the worst piece of damage on the first step and then we might get a few years before the whole thing needed doing but I don't want to do that. I want it fixed now. So Don is going to remove the plywood on the first step and see what he has to deal with. I'm hoping the whole darned set of steps don't need replacing but we'll have to wait and see. Whatever, I want it taken care of now and not in a few years time.

It looks like he can do the job in mid September...he's a busy handyman because he's good, honest, and prices his jobs fairly. I trust his judgement and now I can just let him take care of it.

Compensation

My husband worked for the fire department for 22 years before retiring to go to work for his brother. He retired permanently in 1998 and, unfortunately, only got to enjoy it until he developed the esophageal cancer in 2004 and that would take his life a year later.

Workman's Compensation had a rule that they would only pay benefits to an ex fire fighter who suffered or died from esophageal cancer if he'd been on the job for a total of 25 years. This meant that, even though there was a chance that Dennis developed the disease from exposure to chemical fires he might have fought, there would be no compensation. I accepted this because I felt the rule was the rule and there was no sense in fighting it.

Today I received a phone call from CSIB (haven't a clue what those initials stand for) and a very nice gentleman told me that the fire fighters' union was making another claim for compensation for my husband's beneficiary...me. He wanted to know if I'd allow the union to represent me in the claim and I said yes.

I doubt very much that anything will come of this but, as I told my daughter, I feel very strongly that if Dennis' labors in a dangerous profession makes him and his family eleigible for any kind of compensation for the horrible illness that killed him, then I'm all for it. Dennis was first and foremost a responsible family man and one of the last things he did before he passed away was to attempt to make a claim for compensation. He knew he'd never benefit from it personally but he wanted whatever he could get for his family.

There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of my husband and mentally thank him for taking care of us. And today I'm thanking the fire fighters' union for not forgetting one of their own. It means a lot to me and I know it would mean a lot to Dennis to know that, even though he passed away 5 years ago, the union he supported for 22 years of his life hasn't forgotten him.

Why Do We Tip?

Yesterday I went to the drugstore, paid for my merchandise, but didn't tip the cashier. I went out to the car to drive down and pick my sister up. Along the way, I passed police officers (we don't tip them) and firefighters (we don't tip them, either) in their vehicles.

My sister and I went to the Mall for coffee in the foodcourt and neither of us tipped the Tim Horton's waitress. We shopped for a while and then went back to the foodcourt for our lunch...didn't tip the Tim Horton's waitress that time either.

It got me wondering why some service people like restaurant waitresses and bar waiters, taxi drivers and valets, hotel room maids, etc. expect tips while other people doing similar or even more skilled jobs neither expect nor get tips.

I'm a cheap tipper...10% on the total...and I give only because it's expected unless the service is awful and then it's tough luck for them. Rightly or wrongly, I don't believe anyone working for an hourly or weekly wage has any "right" to be tipped on top of it. The customer should not be made to feel guilty if they don't tip but somehow we've evolved to that point.

Years ago my husband and I were on vacation and he went out to rent a moped. As he paid the clerk and turned to leave, the clerk yelled after him, "Hey, where's my tip???". Dennis replied, "Don't bet on the horses", and continued on his way. I've always wondered exactly why that clerk expected a tip but then he did receive a good one from my husband.

I'm Bored

It's Sunday morning, the house is closed up because the air conditioning is on, and it's too darned quiet in here. Usually I have the T.V. on even if I'm not watching it but not this morning. I thought I'd try to enjoy the quiet but it's only making me bored.

I am so seldom bored that I didn't realize how much I detest it. I remember as a child, being around boring people made me want to scream. Church and all it's pomposity bored me and it was all I could do not to run out into the fresh air. Being in school was like being tethered to a tree. I was a smart child who thought she already knew it all and school just cut into my fun time.

When I worked, I was very productive because I never allowed myself to be idle. Being idle bored me to death. If I didn't have an interesting person to talk to, then I buried myself in work. You notice I preferred to talk.

I never would have thought that being a senior would be the end of boredom but it has been. There are so many choices of what to do with my time that I'm never, well almost never, bored. This morning I am and I think it's because it's too darned quiet in this house. I have a few projects on the go but I don't feel like doing any of them right now. I don't know just what I want to do...and it's too quiet. I guess I'll make another coffee and turn on the T.V. and watch Coronation Street for a little while. Maybe that will give me inspiration.

My Latest Worry

Four years ago, I think, I asked a long time family friend if he would level the concrete on my front porch and paint it. He told me it was impossible to level the concrete because new concrete would not stick to the old. He convinced me that it was okay for him to level it with plywood (not even treated) and coat it all with a gritty paint. This took him 4 months and $800 to do. It looked great when he finished but I've been worried about it ever since.

Well, this year some fungus has popped out on two of the steps and my fears were confirmed. The plywood is rotting and now I have a huge problem on my hands. The long time family friend? Well, he's the one who took 8 months to do some work on my basement, left it almost in total disrepair, and who I haven't spoken to since then.

I really hate to start a big repair job on the porch because I'll be selling the house in a few years but then I realize no-one would buy a house with the front porch in this condition. I think I'm stuck. I've called my usual handyman who promised to come and look at it but hasn't done so. He's hard to pin down and I'm starting to realize I need a new handyman but they're not easy to find. I don't want to get one like "Dean".

I've decided not to worry about it. It will get fixed or replaced next year. You do what you have to do!

Nolan

I looked after my greatgrandson, Nolan, for an hour and a half this morning and he was perfect as usual. I'm gradually getting over how much he looks like his Daddy and am beginning to see him for himself.

He's become comfortable in my house now, familiar with it finally. He played with his toys, ate 2 tiny cookies and some applesauce, played some more and then, getting tired, he pulled a cushion off the sofa and put it on the floor to take a nap. The picture above was taken just he started to fade.

Nolan is very deliberate in his moves. He studies when to let go of safety and walk to where he wants to go. He seems to love books more than toys but still won't cuddle and let me read to him...maybe later. He understands "no" and even a shake of the head when he nears something I don't want him to touch. In fact, he understands it so well that, when I put my arms out to him to come and cuddle, he shook his head "no".

I could watch him forever. He plays fairly quietly and nicely with his toys, going from one to another as the spirit moves him. The one thing I can't do is walk very far with him in my arms. I've always had a problem with my legs losing strength when I carry something heavy but I don't think it's gotten much worse over the years.

I realized today that Nolan is a gift in my life for living this long. His Greatgrampa, Dennis, wasn't lucky enough to live to see him. He would have loved this little boy to bits and taught him all the things he taught his own children and grandchildren.

Nolan is going to be a big brother in the spring and I hope his new little brother or sister is as good a child a he is. He is simply perfect.

Screaming Women

I watched a little more T.V. this afternoon than I usually do and couldn't help but notice how much grown women scream when the host or hostess walks on, moves, or says something provocative or witty. What is wrong with these women? Little girls scream a lot in play compared to little boys but the sight of grown women screaming in ecstasy on daytime T.V. shows is creepy.

Men don't do that. They whistle or hoot but if a man screams you can pretty well bet he's gay. There must be a female gene for screaming and it's irritating as hell. Come to think of it, I've never seen an old woman screaming on these shows so we must outgrow it sometime after the age of 50. I don't recall seeing old men whistle and hoot, either, so maybe all that juvenile behaviour ends for us when we're complete adults.

I don't ever plan to completely grow up but you can bet your butt I won't be screaming in ecstasy at an Elvis impersonator show...or even a Toby Keith show but I will be in serene ecstasy.

Caring For Nolan

I love this baby to bits. He's so good natured and actually pays attention when you tell him not to touch something. But, I'm not as young as I once was and maybe a tad more nervous about my little treasure getting hurt so looking after him for a half day only is the answer.

He has his little pile of toys here that he'll learn is his to touch and play with to his heart's content. I'm hoping soon that he'll smile and put his arms out to me when he sees me but I still see him too seldom for him to be really friendly with me. It will come. He won't be able to resist the love in my eyes.

I'll see him tomorrow for an hour or so and then I'm looking after him on Tuesday morning. I'm smiling in anticipation already.

Airplane Steward Jumps Ship

An airplane steward has his fill of abuse from a passenger and retaliates. He grabs the mike and lets the passenger knows just what he thinks of him, grabs a couple of beers and exits the plane via the chute. Bravo!

There are few people in this world who haven't had to put up with verbal and sometimes physical abuse from rude bosses or customers so we hail our new hero! I hope he makes millions from books, movies, or whatever because he has spoken (and acted) for millions who didn't have the nerve.

This should be a message to all the bosses out there who don't support their employees and just expect them to deal with abusive customers. I worked at Sears for many years in the catalogue department and was fortunate enough to always have supportive supervisors who would immediately take over when we were confronted by abusive bullies. We were never expected to "just deal with it" and that's the way it should be. Occasionally it was the supervisor who took the brunt of the bullying and that was wrong. Abusive customers should be handled by store detectives and tossed out on their ears.

I love this airline employee. He had reached his limit after receiving both verbal and physical abuse from an idiot passenger and decided the job wasn't worth it anymore. I sincerely hope he is able to sue the passenger and receive megabucks compensation for his injuries.

To customers who deliberately abuse clerks or hirelings...you're an idiot and everyone knows it. You act like an idiot and you look like an idiot. You don't look impressive one iota when you throw your weight around. You just look like the idiot you are.

Kids Will Get Into It

Faye told me today that she's having her youngest grandchild, Avry, overnight tonight for the first time. Avry is 2 3/4 years old, a lovely little well-behaved girl. Faye is worried that she will get into something that might hurt her like the pills in the bottom drawer of the bathroom cabinet. Avry's parents say not to worry because she doesn't get into stuff like that. Oh Yeah???

My Cindy ate cigarette butts, turpentine, and Carnation milk out of the can. She stuck a cherry pit up her nose....and she was also a nice, well-behaved little girl.

My Shelley ate a bottle of baby aspirin. She was an extremely well-behaved child.

My Kim must have gotten into something but it escapes me at the moment. (She informed me that, yes, she did do something a little icky...she scooped poop out of her diaper and feasted on it. Now I'm wondering what the heck was wrong with my kids!!!!)

Don't ever believe your little treasure is different from other kids and wouldn't shove poison down their precious little throats given half the chance. They would! They don't think like an adult. They are babies.

I was a more aware grandmother than I was a mother so none of my grandchildren swallowed anything vile while I had them but that was because I never took my eyes off them. I made them hold my hand when we were out so a car wouldn't hit them or a pedophile wouldn't grab them. I was a worrier and who wouldn't have become like that considering I'm Cindy's mother.

Cindy once got the pointy edge of a coat hanger caught on the inside of her eyelid. I don't know if she was traumatized by that but it just about finished me off. She also decided one day to get something from the top of a chest of drawers and very smartly pulled each drawer out to use as steps. I caught her just as the chest of drawers tipped over. Don't ever be surprised at what a child will get into.

I guess the best advice is to not take chances. Even if we watch the little darlin's like a hawk, they'll still find a way to get into dangerous situations. Love them and hope for the best.

New Stadium in Hamilton

I haven't been too interested in where they build our new stadium but have halfway hoped it would be on the east mountain rather than at the waterfront. It just made more sense because there is more room for parking on the east mountain and easy highway access. Building it on the waterfront would be a nightmare for visitors because that area is heavily populated, the streets are narrow, and parking would always be a problem.

Now the federal government has taken it out of the hands of local politicians (who just might have something to gain financially) and said they'd only provide funding if the stadium was built on the east mountain. I say that's a good thing.

The local politicians who were clammering for it to be built at the waterfront are enraged by federal interference but they would still want federal money, right? Sometimes local politicians have personal interests in huge projects like this and are better circumvented when it comes to the final decision. It appears that this was the case here.

Building a huge, brand new stadium is going to cost every Hamilton taxpayer a lot so it should be built where it will do the most good. Whether we want it or even need it is of no importance because we're getting it either way so let's at least build it in the best possible location.

Note: Council had their vote and the new stadium will be built in the congested north end on the waterfront. It will be interesting to see how some patrons will enjoy parking their cars in the downtown area and walking or busing a couple of miles to get to it. Since the government won't fund it now and we might lose the Tiger Cat football team, I can see a big tax hike on the horizon.

I Like Chinese Hand Fans

Kim bought me a red hand fan when we were in Florida last month and I fell in love with the look and usefulness of them. This picture is of a gorgeous Chinese hand fan I just bought for myself. I feel like a southern belle when I use it.

I don't know why we don't use them more often. Kim bought some to help us withstand Florida weather in July while we attended my son-in-law's retirement ceremony which was held outside. We were under a canopy but the air was scorching. By fanning ourselves , we actually felt as though cool air was moving over us. Amazing.

Hand fans fold up to little flat items so they're easy to tote around. I'm going to try to find a smaller one to carry in my purse if I'm going to be sitting out in the heat anywhere. They are so pretty and feminine!

Wrong Number Etiquette

I got a very late phone call last night. I picked up the phone and said, "hello". A young girl asked me who I was!!!! I asked her who she was and she said she was Chloe's friend. I told her she had the wrong number. She got mad and again demanded to know who I was. I told her it was none of her friggin' business and hung up.

There have been many times when someone has called here and I've politely told them they have the wrong number. Most people apologize for disturbing you and that's okay but the occasional person will slam their phone down as though it's YOU who have disturbed THEM!

Then there are the sales people who love to phone at the dinner hour. You recognize them right away because they always first ask you how you're doing. I still ask them who is calling just in case it is a ligitimate call but as soon as they verify they're trying to sell me something, I hang up. I used to be polite and tell them I just wasn't interested before I hung up but I've come to understand that they are being rude by calling me in the first place.

I had one sales person who, when I asked who was calling, responded by asking me if I was Mrs. ???. I hung up.

I've just realized that the expression "hung up" doesn't apply anymore. In the old days the telephone receiver was on a hook and that's where the expression came from. Now we just press a button to answer or end a call. Somehow, saying that I was angry with an unwanted sales call and "pressed the button" doesn't sound right, does it?

Handyman, Where Art Thou?

Why is it so hard to find a good handyman, and why is it so hard to contact him once he's found? I have a good handyman, one I can trust completely and who does a fair job for fair wages but he's so darned hard to pin down. He'll promise a call back but rarely does. If I'm lucky enough pin him down to a date and time, he does keep it, though.

At this stage, I don't want to go looking for a new handyman because there's always that trust issue. I know with this one that he won't cheat me and that's worth so much these days.

But where the heck is he???

Greatgrandbaby

My greatgrandson, Nolan, is almost 13 months old and an absolute treasure. He plays nicely for a few hours, is just learning to walk by himself, and then he naps for an hour and a half.

Growing up is hard to do.

Eating Sensibly...-10

Well, yesterday morning I weighed myself and was happy to see a 1 pound loss. This morning I weighed myself and saw a 1 pound gain. I know it had something to do with my birthday dinner last night but it's still not fair.

I'll try harder next week.

Never Grow Up

In one of my birthday wishes, a friend of mine advised me to never grow up and I realized that could be the secret of a happy old age. Don't settle back and think that just because you're a senior your only purpose is to wait for death.

Keep your mind active by learning new things. It doesn't matter if it's how to use the computer or how to play a new card game. Being a senior means you have more time to explore and learn whatever you're interested in.

I really believe it's even more important in old age to be around other people as often as possible. They provide a stimulation to your brain and it's also a way to learn about their hobbies and interests...any of which you might decide to take up, too. The more people you surround yourself with, the more possibilities you come in contact with.

I really love being the age I am and I don't think I felt that way when I was younger. Seniors have so much freedom of time constraints. We don't have jobs to take up our day; we don't have kids to rush home to; we have senior centers where, for a minimal cost, we can enjoy activities of all kinds. Most of today's seniors receive enough pension money to live a comfortable, if not extravagant, life style if they are careful.

My sister-in-law, Faye, and I had lunch at the senior center the other day and I saw how it was filled with happy, active seniors. There is no reason whatsoever for a senior to sit at home alone in front of the T.V. From the cafeteria I could see a step/exercise class in progress and a group of people sitting in the foyer reading magazines. The cafeteria contained tables full of yakking groups enjoying their time together along with a cheap, but nutritious, lunch.

Faye is taking a computer course at the senior center right now but we've both, at one time or another, taken quilting classes, pottery classes, folk art classes, stained glass classes, and woodworking classes. There are also reading clubs and card games that go on which cost almost nothing to participate in. The atmosphere in the senior center is one of fun and happy socialization so I can't understand why any senior wouldn't take advantage of it.

The activities I've described are mostly sedentary ones for lazy people like me but there are also many seniors who are into more physical activity. They've been physically active all their lives and they have no intention of giving it up just because they've reached their twilight years.

My friend, Dee, told me to never grow up and I have no intention of ever doing that. Faye said I have an inquiring mind and I believe that's what will keep me happy and fulfilled in my own twilight years.

Life can be good at any age. It's your choice.

I'm 70!

I don't think I ever thought too much about reaching 70 when I was a dumb young thing. If I thought about it at all, it seemed so far in the future that I could just ignore it. Well, the future is now and I'm 70.

I don't feel like I thought 70 would feel like. As long as I don't look in the mirror I can fool myself into believing I'm maybe 50, but 70? It hardly seems real to me. It's not a depressing thought at all, just a surprise that I lived long enough and managed to reach such an advanced age. I wouldn't ever want to go back to my youth if it meant giving up what I've acquired in old age. I don't mean possessions, either, but knowledge and peace of mind.

I have family and friends that I love and who love me. I'm fairly healthy and have quite a few interests. I am blessed. I hope I can say the same when I'm 80 but I have a lot of living to do and a lot of fun to have before that day arrives.

I've said it before but my biggest regret in life is that I didn't get a university education. Of course, there are smaller regrets but they're best left in the past because I have no time for them in my future. I aim to fill my future with nothing but happy moments.

Knee Surgery Not Needed

Yesterday I had some doubts about whether or not I should go ahead with the knee scoping but my neighbors talked me into having it done. Today I had an appointment with the surgeon who said that, after looking at my MRI, he thought the knee wasn't bad enough to operate on. I'm happy.

He actually reiterated what I had been thinking, that the risk wasn't worth taking if my knee wasn't damaged enough. He said there are always risks with surgery and sometimes the outcome could be a knee in worse condition than before surgery.

I like this doctor. He doesn't claim to be able to perform miracles and he wasn't afraid to tell me that I might be better off not having the surgery. That is a good, reliable doctor!

Some of my pain is from arthritis in the knee and I had thought that from the beginning. There is some damage to the meniscus but not a whole heck of a lot. The doctor said it probably will worsen with time and we can discuss scoping or, heaven forbid, knee replacement in the future if that happens. I'm willing to wait and see. If I had daily pain I might feel differently but I don't. It's sporadic and sometime disappears as quickly as it comes. My main concern was finding out exactly what part of the knee was involved and, now that I know, I'm not as worried.

It was interesting to hear that he could see on the MRI where I was experiencing pain. It's just amazing to me that this is possible. I'm glad he was able to make the decision for me because I just wasn't sure. I'll bow to his expertise and carry on with a sometimes sensitive knee that will occasionally need some pampering.

The good news, in my eyes, is that my knee isn't as bad as I'd thought.

New Desk Chair

I've been using a dining room chair at my desk for a while now since my old desk chair fell apart. It isn't a big deal to find a new one but I've put it off for a variety of reasons. I knew I couldn't put it together myself; the box would be heavy to lug into the house; I was unsure exactly which one I wanted.

Yesterday i made the move and finally bought a new desk chair and I'm thrilled to death with it. It is so comfortable and I can finally swivel around the desk again. It was hard getting the box into the house but I managed. It could have sat there for a while until Kim had the time to come and help me put it together but, as luck would have it, Kim and my neighbors, Anna and Lisa, arrived around 6 P.M. to go to dinner with me and took the time to do the job right then.

They warned me not to throw away any screws that fell out (that's what I did with the old chair) and I embarrassedly agreed not to be so foolish. This chair is really a dream with arm rests that are the perfect height for me, cushy seats and an adjustable seat height. Whoo Hoo! How luxurious!

We finally went out for our dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant chosen by Anna. The sisters and I go out for dinner once in a while at different ethnic restaurants so I've been introduced to foods I've never tasted before. Last night I had a garlic chicken dish with fried cauliflower or broccoli and it was delicious. It came with a nicely seasoned rice, too. The caesar salad had some kind of fried pita shells instead of croutons and they were pretty good, too. It's fun to try new foods and it's easy here in my city because we have such a multicultural society and many ethnic restaurants.

The sisters also presented me with a huge Elvis Pez dispenser for my birthday. It plays "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah" when you lift his head to get a candy. I love it!

This had been a lovely day. I'd had lunch with Faye at the senior center and then gone to her house to do some Swedish weaving, bought my new desk chair, and gone to dinner with 3 of my favorite people in the world. Life is so good I wonder how I got so lucky.

Dumb or What

I don't consider myself a genius but I'm not exactly stupid, either. So why did it take a month and a friend's suggestion to make me realize I might have blown a fuse (or circuit). I just assumed I needed an electrician to fix an electrical outlet that had stopped working. Thank heavens I didn't call one!

Last month the central vac suddenly stopped working...no problem because it's old and I seldom use it. I just assumed it had seen it's day and left it alone. Then the outlet directly above it in the kitchen stopped working. I just assumed it was somehow broken and I'd need the aforementioned electrician to fix it. I left it alone for the time being.

For the past month I've had my coffeemaker sitting on the stove (which I rarely use) and plugged in there. It was no inconvenience at all but sort of made my kitchen look wrong somehow.

I think it was Donna who might have suggested a blown fuse and it got me thinking. Hmm! The two problems were almost certainly on the same circuit because they were one above the other so down I went to check. Sure enough, a fuse had blown and now all is well.

Things like this make me doubt myself because the answer to my problems was so clear but not to me. I either need a man or a new apartment. Hmmm! The apartment would probably be less trouble.

Home Hunters

I love watching decorating shows on T.V. (although I never use any of their suggestions) and home buyer/seller shows. I'm always a little taken aback by the comments made by house hunters, though.

They walk into someone's pride and joy and immediately start finding fault with it even though many of these homes are almost like mansions to me. They look at perfectly beautiful kitchens or bathrooms and say, "Well, this will have to go!", and I'm left wondering what they'd think of my humble abode. I doubt they'd be looking at houses like mine in the first place, though.

Maybe I have simpler tastes.

Another thing I find odd is that many house hunters are unable to envision their own things in a new house. I could even walk into my own house and imagine it decorated in many different ways so I don't understand what's so difficult about that.

One of the househunter shows I watch takes place in Toronto where prices are astronomical. Houses like mine there sell for at least double what they do in my city and Toronto househunters seem to be so happy to actually get a house that they aren't too fussy about what it looks like. I guess "location, location" is all that matters.

When we bought our house in 1968, that's how I felt. Everything we looked at was nicer than where we were living at the time so I didn't need all the bells and whistles people seem to want today. I just wanted my own house! I CRAVED to own my own house! Dennis, who really couldn't care less about buying a house, didn't have a chance against me.

Once bought and moved into, my eyes began to pick up areas I'd like changed and that's what we did for all the years we lived here. We changed things to look better, at least to me. Like I said, Dennis didn't mind things just the way they were but a woman's home is her nest and she wants it just so.

I'll be selling my nest in a few years and I really don't want to know what potential buyers will have to say about it. What I do want is to be allowed to come back a year later and see the improvements made. I know I'll love whatever they do.

Shelley's 1976 Will

I was going to put a picture of the will on this blog but decided not to because it had a little too much personal info for my liking. I'll just type it but leave some of the names out.

Shelley was almost 12 years old when this was written and I'm assuming she was feeling kind of low and unappreciated. The following is exactly how she typed it.

To whom it may concern,

I, Shelley * , leave all my wordly possessions to my father and mother, Dennis * * and Patricia * *. To my beloved sisters, Kimberly * * and Cindy * *, I leave all of my stuffed animals and toys. I give all of my family all of my love and forgiveness, as I hope you will forgive me of any harm that I have given you in these years of my life.

If I may correct a statement I have given, I would like to leave my dearly, dearly beloved "Pooh-Bear" to my parents who gave him to me on my 8th birthday.

To my parents I give my hopes of tearing this will to pieces after it has been read (which probably will be done anyways).

Signed,
(Shelley's written signature)
Shelley * *

Witnesses,
(Cynthia's written signature)
Cynthia * *

(Janet's written signature)
Janet * *

(Written) My will and testament of March 23, 1976

(Written) Signed in blood (red ink)



No, Shelley, no mother would ever throw away such a priceless piece of her baby's childhood. I'll keep it forever and one day you will inherit it. I hope you keep it forever, too!

This is what I assume from the will. I think you were angry with me and your father (we weren't described as "beloved" parents) and I think you must have been in trouble for something. Since you were almost a perfect child, it couldn't have been anything too serious but it must have meant a lot to you. I'm sorry my baby girl made out her will in 1976 but I'd also like to know where the Pooh-Bear is since it's apparently the only thing I'm getting!

I love you!

Summer is Winding Down

Always, on August 1, I feel how summer is winding down and the cold weather is just on the horizon. We're told that August will be a hot one but that doesn't matter because September is coming up fast.

Before spending my winters in Florida I really dreaded the advent of fall weather. I guess I was always looking ahead instead of living the moment. There is nothing nicer than spring and fall in Ontario with a hot summer in between. It's just those miserably cold and cloudy winters that I can't tolerate. Human beings were not meant to live in the freezing cold and I just don't understand Eskimoes.

I still have about 5 more winters in Florida to look forward to, if I'm lucky, and after that I'll just have to get used to Canadian winters once again. By then I'll be comfortably ensconced in a nice little apartment and won't have to worry about being snowed in, anyway.

August used to be unwelcome for me because I'd get irritating allergies which began that month but they seem to have faded away over the years. I enjoy August more now but, in the back of my mind, is still the thought that cold weather is hard on it's heels. It's like a death waiting to happen. But, hopefully, for the next five years it will be a death followed by the heaven of Florida for the winter.

I keep in contact with a lot of my Florida friends by e-mail over the summer so we just pick up where we left off when we arrive back in Florida in the fall. They're such a diverse and wonderful bunch of people. They come from many different states and provinces to our park in Florida and it's really nice how well we all get along. They're the reason that August doesn't hold sadness for me anymore. My winters are warm with sunshine and lots of company...at least for a while yet.

This August 1st, my plans are to clean out all unwanted paperwork from around the computer, meet my sister for lunch and an afternoon of shopping. In the evening I'll settle down with a good book or look for some interesting T.V. shows.

Life is good.