Pyjama Day

Well, not quite pyjamas but my comfy lounger was what I spent the day in yesterday.  I rarely do that, even on days I don't plan to go out but it's nice once in a while.

I didn't do much work, either, only made the bed and washed a few dishes.  The day was overcast and that seems to make me lose incentive to do much of anything.  Beautiful sunny days do give me incentive and that's when I get the most done.

It's overcast again today but I have to go out for money and groceries...not too demanding.  Tomorrow is our Canada Day and I've spent it for 4 years out on my balcony watching fireworks from about 6 different spots.  I might even make a gin and tonic to take out there with me!

Mary was supposed to come in this week but Don is having some trouble with his new medication and it's not safe for her to leave him alone.  She told me a scary but interesting story about what doctors did to him the other day.  Don's heart isn't beating perfectly and he's getting a little dizzy and overtired and that's why he was given a new medication.  Well, the medication didn't work as expected so they took him into the hospital (just for the day), stopped his heart and then used paddles to restart it.

I'm horrified that this was done at all but to do it and then send him home is pretty scary.  Mary insisted on being with him during the procedure and she said that, when they stopped his heart, he reared his head back and made a croaking sound.  He seems to be fine now but that is very frightening.  Don is a very active 83 year old man who takes care of his 2+ acre property and rides horses regularly.  He has never been a couch potato so I hope his doctors can get his medication regulated so he can get on with his normal active life.

Life is so ephemeral.  The best we can do is enjoy what we can, tolerate what we have to, and keep on smiling.

  

Tub Reglazing

I've known about tub reglazing but didn't realize it was an option for my apartment tub.  This is the first apartment building I've ever lived in but I did live in rentals many years back where it was almost impossible to have the owners do any repairs.  The superintendant of this building has been a pleasant surprise for me, though.  The building and grounds are very well kept up and the superintendant responds very quickly to any issues I've had (I've had very few).

I broke the shower head a few months ago and decided to just buy one myself rather than bother him about it but discovered I wasn't strong enough to get the old one off to replace it.  Soren came up quickly to do it and he also commented at the time that the tub needed reglazing, the taps needed replacing, and the tile should be redone so it covered the wall right up to the ceiling.  I never would have thought that was an option for me.  I was particularly happy about having the tub reglazed because it's the original in this 1960's building and the enamel isn't very good any more.

Well, I was put on a list (don't know how long) to have the work done and just assumed it might take forever.  The tub has been difficult to clean since I moved in here 4 years ago but just in the past few weeks it is impossible to clean in spots and remains looking dirty even after cleaning.  I decided to ask Soren how long it would be before it could be reglazed because I really couldn't clean it now.  

So, yesterday I dropped a note at his office and went out for the day.  I came home to a message on my answering machine...it was Soren saying he'd made an appointment for my tub to be reglazed on July 10th.  I don't know if every apartment building superintendant is as efficient and responsible as Soren but I'm sure happy we have him in our building.

I only have one bathroom here and it will be out of commission for the day of the reglazing so I'm going to live with Faye.  

It's so nice when things work out well and problems are solved quickly.

Update:  I called Soren to see how long I need to be out of the apartment...3-4 hours...and to ask if the taps would be replaced at the same time.  He said it would be best to do the taps and the tiling before glazing the tub so now everything is on hold again.  I'm hoping he'll sped up the whole remodel because that tub looks terrible.   

Bird's Nest

Apparently birds think that highrise apartment balconies are much like treetops and the perfect place to build a nest.  I had one on my balcony a few years ago and got a little tired of being harassed by the parent birds any time I went near their nest (hard to avoid on a small balcony).

I noticed a lot of sparrow activity on my balcony last week and wondered if the little darlings were in the process of building a nest so I took a closer look at the far corner.  Lo and behold, there was a little pile of nesting materials piled behind a planter so I first checked to make sure there were no eggs there before trying to remove the material.  I hoped the sparrows would take the hint and move somewhere else.  But they didn't and they now have built a fair sized nest.  I can't see any eggs but have decided to leave the nest alone just in case there are eggs in it.

It seems kind of late for birds to be nesting but maybe the rains we had are the cause for the delay.  I guess I'm stuck and will be harassed by the birds for the next few weeks.  Once the eggs have hatched and the babies have flown away, I'll remove the planter from that corner so I don't get another nest next year.

On Sleeping Well

When I had depression, one of the things that kept me from sleeping well was that my mind wouldn't let go of all the things that upset or worried me.  It was like having a newsreel continuously looping through my head but offering no solutions.  That rarely happens any more and one of the reasons is that I know what is important in my life and what isn't.  All that counselling that OHIP paid for does come in handy.

I slept well and awoke very early and just at sunrise.  I love to greet the sunrise but it's kind of early right now...I'll try to remember these beautiful early morning sunrises when I'm crawling out of bed in the dark in December.  

We're still in my favorite month of June and it promises to be one gorgeous day today so I'm going for a nice long drive out in the country.  One of the lovely things about our big, beautiful country is how quickly we can travel outside the city.  Even in the midst of our downtown, I could reach countryside within 15 minutes.  I do love driving and I do love my cute little car that gives me the freedom to travel near and far!

Life is good!

  

I Analyze

One of my biggest failings is that I analyze everything and often over-analyze.  It's very important to me to know where I stand and that's got to be a lack of self confidence on my part.  It's understandable when I consider my background...I already analyzed that.

When I become insecure in where I stand, I back off for a while to adjust my thinking.  I can handle just about any situation as long as I understand the truth in it and am not blinding myself to reality.  I often wonder if other people ever feel this way...feeling confident for a period of time and then losing that confidence only to gain it back later.  A terribly unsettling  feeling!

It would be so lovely to have unconditional love.  Faye and Donna were here today and we talked about how well Larry takes care of Joyce and that's because he worships the ground she walks on and always has.  Joyce, even in her present day onset of Alzheimers, has supreme confidence in Larry's love and knows she can always count on him and that's given her a sense of peace and a better ability to deal with her situation.

I don't think that ever in my whole life I've felt that kind of security.  I didn't get it as a child, either, and came to the realization at a very young age that there just wasn't anyone I could count on 100%.  You might think that would make me envy people like Joyce but it doesn't.  It makes me happy to see it because I know that's the way life is meant to be.  

When I would see sweet old couples holding hands, it would warm my heart.  Or seeing a special, soft look between a loving couple that showed they were connected, makes me happy but a bit wistful.  One day, as Donna and I got back to my building from visiting Faye, Frank was already there waiting in his car to drive her home.  Frank immediately hopped out of the car to hurry to us and help Donna carry her parcels but he stopped part way and rushed back to his car.  It was raining out and he'd gone back to get an umbrella so Donna wouldn't get wet.  I bet not many people would take note of that but I did.  It was a sweet moment of just a touch more caring and it, too, warmed my heart.

I think I'm tuned into those moments maybe more than is good for me.  It might make me more sensitive to the slightly hurtful moments we're all going to experience once in a while.  I used to rage when I was hurt but, thanks to some good counseling in my past, I've learned to step back and do my darned analyzing but do it by considering more than one option.  One thing that works well is to distance myself until my strength and confidence returns.

It's probably inevitable that my renewed confidence won't last long and something will get me down again but I've noticed that I'm never down for long any more.  Now, if I were to analyze that, it would tell me that I'm a heck of a lot stronger than I thought I was..and that's a very good thing.  



  

  

Fed Up

I let a lot of things pass with my family that I wouldn't tolerate from anyone else.  I hate to admit it but I've reached my limit of tolerance with some of them and I'm going to have to keep my distance.  I believe I've already started to accept that some family members are not good for me and that's a shame in any family.

I've always been pro family but I have walked away from some who became impossible for me to be around.  When it gets to that point, walking away isn't so difficult.

Anyway, for anyone who cares, I've reached my limit.

Our Flag

I've begun to notice that it's the younger generation that finds no problem in desecrating the flag of their country.  I saw a video a while back of university students in the States stomping on the American flag and a veteran stepping forward to stop them.  The students claimed it was their right to do as they pleased but they had forgotten it was the veteran and his comrades who fought for their rights.  Now we have a controversy in Canada about the gay pride people changing the look of our flag by adding their rainbow colors to it.  The younger generation see no problem (including our prime minister) but the older generation, especially veterans who fought under that flag see a decline in respect for it.

My relative's response to people who opposed the gay pride alteration of our flag was to, "get over yourself".  What she doesn't seem to grasp is that the people who oppose altering our flag are not opposing for their own purpose but for the country as a whole.  It's important to respect the flag that soldiers laid down their lives for in order to give us the freedoms we have today...the freedoms my relative and her generation enjoy, too.

I do a lot of research on the internet and found out that there is no law in Canada against desecrating our flag but there is one in the States.  We need one, too, because the young ones should understand that their flag stands for something and is sacrosanct!

I was very unhappy to see photos of our prime minister in last year's Pride parade waving an altered flag but I noticed in this year's photos that he's waving a proper Pride flag.  That flag is actually beautiful and I don't know why they don't just keep it the way it is.  

Anyway, that's my rant for today but I'm sure there are more to come.

What's the Difference?

I watched the sweetest video on Facebook this morning about how children view the differences between them and others.  As two little girls or two little boys stood side by side and were asked how they were different from one another, the children struggled to come up with ideas.  Some differences were obvious...different ethnicity, one little girl in a wheelchair...but the children were blind to these differences.  It was one of the purest moments to witness.

It got me thinking about my friends and how they are different in many ways than me but, when I'm with them and enjoying their company I don't see any of that.  What I see in a sense is their good soul.  Do I judge them before we become friends?  Probably I'm wary because of the unknown but, once we're friends, I glory in our differences and how they matter not one bit when the person is a good soul.

It's interesting to note that some friends become unfriended and that's when you begin to notice the differences that do matter.  Sometimes they come as a surprise because they had been kept well hidden before they snuck out and you wonder why you hadn't noticed them before.

But, like innocent children, we love our friends for the good in them.  And often we love them for the differences that make them unique and interesting.

A Kind Of Chili

I am not a good cook.  But I'm not afraid to combine oddball ingredients and hope for the best, either.  The above is an example of one of my concoctions that turned out pretty yummy!

I do most of my cooking in the crock pot so I hauled it out and then looked in the cupboard to see what I had.  2 cans of kidney beans, 1 can of tomato soup, 1/2 pkg. of chili seasoning!  Then I looked in the freezer to see what meat was there.  I don't eat much meat but I did have one boneless chicken breast and about a 2 lb. pork loin roast so I chose the chicken breast to add to my oddball chili along with 1 cup of water.  I'm not sure why I added the water but the seasoning smell seemed a little strong and I thought the water would tame it.

I let it simmer away for a couple of hours before taking a look and thought it was a little too soupy so my options for that were either barley or noodles.  I chose the noodles.

Like I said, I'm not a good cook but this really did turn out quite tasty.  It's not really chili but I like it!

Losing Sears

For a huge corporation like Sears to go down the tubes after so many years of operation has got to lie squarely on poor management.  These stores, which depend mainly on the needs or wants of the average Joe, can't survive if they have an elite, over-privileged management that has no idea how to attract the middle class customer.  They won't get it from books or by comparing year to year sales.  They won't get it from following teen-aged trends because they'll first lose their elder patrons.  Once lost, we seldom trust enough to go back.

I watched over the past few years as Sears struggled, seemingly jumping from one desperate attempt to another like drowning rats.  They tried so hard to go upscale, just as the now long gone Eaton's did before they were sunk.  And they failed for the same reason.  Customers might want to live an upscale life but finances will dictate every time whether or not they can.  If your stores carry merchandise that is too expensive for your average customer, it won't sell.

And then the panic sets in and your staff is told to cram more merchandise into every available space until there is no room for your customers to even browse.  And all that merchandise starts to fall off the racks or hang awkwardly, looking used and abused and the customers can't get out of your store fast enough.

So now what does management do?  They cut staff to save money and the stores begin to look like bargain basements because there aren't enough staff to keep them neat and clean.  Once your store looks like that it's over.

I worked at Sears when it was a vibrant, profitable company so I can sure see the difference between then and now.  Just as how sad it was to see Eaton's decline and demise, it's equally sad to see a giant like Sears be taken down by management employees who haven't a clue what the average customer will buy.

Sick Dahlias

When I bought this dahlia, it was so beautiful with very large purple flowers but the new buds only grow so much before they turn brown and the petals fall off.  Someone suggested that maybe the soil is too wet and that was my thought, too.  I guess the only thing I can do is let it dry right out and see if that helps.  I just hate it when a plant that was thriving begins to die because that means I'm doing something wrong.

Dentist

I had a double whammy at the dentist this morning.  I already had an appointment, one of 2, to do some kind of laser cleaning under the gums which is supposed to slow down loss of enamel but my dentist was kind enough to add in a filling, too.  The laser treatment is not the same as just a cleaning but I'm at a loss to explain it...I know it should help with the deep pockets under my gums, though.

I went in at 8:30 A.M. and held my mouth open for both procedures until 10 A.M.  My jaw is so sore now that I can hardly open my mouth to eat.  There is no guarantee the filling will work and I won't need a root canal, either, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Going to the dentist is stressful at the best of times but make it a 1 1/2 hour ordeal on an old lady and I came out of there sort of rattled.  If I hadn't had to drive home, I wouldn't have driven at all.  I ended up sleeping away most of the afternoon so I know I was pretty stressed out.

There is no pain but the inside of my mouth is tender but that's to be expected.  I'm hoping for everything to be back to normal by tomorrow morning.

Update:  5 days later and the side of my face still has a huge bruise on it.  I knew I was hurt! 

Canada's 150th

Canada will be 150 years old this year and we'll be celebrating like it's something really special...but it's really not very old considering the age of most of the countries in this world.  We're almost babies!

I watched a stand-up comedy show on T.V. yesterday dedicated to our 150th but I soon realized that most of the comedians were Americans talking about Canada.  Hmm!

One thing that stuck with me, though was when one comedian mentioned how we really are the same people as the Americans...the only difference being we don't have guns but we do have health care.  LOL!

Of course, we are identical to the Americans because both countries are melting pots of every nationality in the world.  There is a big difference in our politics, though.  Americans are much more patriotic than we Canadians are for one thing.  I don't understand why that is because Canada is one of the best places in the world to live but maybe we just take it for granted.

I am proud of my country.  I appreciate that we are relatively peaceful and safe and the only fault I can find is that we have a too cold winter and some of the dumbest politicians in the world who haven't yet managed to ruin us.

Our Flag

Our prime minister is Justin Trudeau, son of the great Pierre Trudeau and the air head Margaret Trudeau.  He seems to be carrying more of his mother's genes than his father's and that's making him a weak and inefficient leader.

Apparently at last year's Pride Parade in Toronto, someone handed Justin a Canadian flag that had been altered with 2 rainbow borders and the twit actually walked around with a big stupid smile on his face waving it!

I happen to believe that the flag of your country is a sacred object that represents your ancestors who fought and lost their lives defending it.  To see it disgraced like this and waved by the leader of my country is beyond reasoning.  What was he thinking?

Of course, Justin is a fairly young man and very liberal in his thinking.  That's all very admirable but destroying the intended symbolism of our flag is a very big mistake.  I don't fear he will drive our country into ruin but I do fear him making a damn fool out of himself.  

Our flag should never be altered to suit anyone's agenda!    

Hmmm!

Well, the good times don't last long.  I had a bit of a toothache last week that got worse today so I called the dentist.  I already had an appointment for this coming Thursday for some deep, under the gum cleaning...I think it's done with laser...and hoped he could x-ray the offending tooth then.  Darned if he  decided to see me this afternoon just to look at the tooth and x-ray it!  I have a very good dentist!

And, yes, there is a cavity in a tooth I was told many years ago couldn't go through another filling because there wasn't much enamel left.  He's going to try to fill it Thursday morning but I might end up needing a root canal.  He also said I might need to go to an orthodontist about it.  Crap!

Now I have 2 dental appointments on Thursday, one for a filling in the morning and one for the deep cleaning in the afternoon.  I guess I'm lucky to still have my teeth.

The bad tooth wasn't so terribly bad until many years ago I was eating popcorn at the trailer and bit into a hard kernel.  A lot of the tooth broke off and I suffered with it until I got back home.  It happened a short time before I was to leave.

I have rarely had a toothache so I have been very lucky.  I'm missing a couple of back teeth but the rest are all mine and in pretty good condition.  I had a root canal on a back tooth quite a few years ago and know they're expensive so I sure hope my dentist can successfully fill this darned thing. 

I'm not worried...I'm mad.

The Facial

I love to be pampered but I'm also frugal and have a guilt complex that keeps me from pampering myself too much.  That said, I do love to have a facial about once a year and had one yesterday.  It was the best one ever!  I told the esthetician so and she asked why.  I think it was a combination of the subdued lighting and spa music, a lot of face massage, arm and hand massage, and the pleasant lady who did the job.

It was at the "Salt Cave" where Kim and Cindy took me for my Mother's Day present and I said then that it was a wonderful business to be in.  It's entirely new to my experience and fits in well with the natural experience women are starting to want instead of the ultra modern crap.  

I didn't expect miracles from the facial, only that it be pleasant and my skin feel good when I left.  And that's what I received!  I still feel a little guilty about spending the money on a facial but not as guilty as I feel when I lose all my money at the casino.

Collapsed Snow Fort

There was an interesting show on T.V. last night about 2 young boys who dug out a fort in a snowbank and it collapsed on them.  Luckily they were rescued but it took quite a while to find them.

It brought back a memory from when I was 7 or 8 years old (1947/8).  In those days children went home from school for lunch.  In those days, there was usually a stay at home Mom but in my case it was a stay at home Grandmother.  After lunch was outdoor play time because there were no T.V., video games, or cell phones to amuse us.  

It was wintertime with lots of snow piles on the road against the sidewalk.  I don't even know if we had snow plows in those days!  Anyway, my memory is of high piles of snow...maybe 4' high.  Again, in those days it was normal for children to play outside on the street with no parental vigilance.  The world was a much safer place then.

I don't remember digging out my fort with a shovel but might have done it with my hands.  It was a lovely huge space with plenty of room for me to crawl inside and pretend I was the only person in the world.  Kids love to do this.

No-one knew where I was because, in those days, children had much more freedom to wander where they wanted, just come home for meals and bedtime.  I don't know how long my peaceful retreat lasted but I do remember the shock of it collapsing on me.  I also remember thinking that it might not be a good idea that no-one knew where I was.

It took me a while to dig myself out but my saving grace was that it wasn't a huge snow pile or the weight of the snow might have been too heavy for me to move.  I remember the relief I felt when I reached the air.  I remember thinking I probably would not build another snow fort.

Funny, the things we remember and the things that might have turned out much worse than they did.  It's the luck of the draw. 

Aphids

Wow!  I've never seen an aphid infestation like the one that's attacked one of my planters.  I never noticed a problem until after the balcony railing was painted and I was putting the pots back in place.  One large planter with daisies and pansies was literally covered with aphids and I'm worried they've jumped ship and onto the other planters.

I set the infected planter on a table by itself and sprayed it with Raid but it's still badly infected.  This isn't a job for soap and water because it's just too far gone but I'm thinking it might help if I cut the plant right down and try to wash the aphids off.

My biggest worry, though, is that the aphids jumped to my other plants and they are just too beautiful to cut back.  I'm also wondering if the plant was infected when I bought it but it did bloom beautifully for quite a while.  I watered it well yesterday but it sure looks pitiful now.

Not happy!

Been Through A Lot

I was just re-reading an old post about before I had the radiation on my lip and it reminded me of just how much I've been through with my skin cancers.  I've been very lucky that I only had basal and squamous and not melanoma but those first two are bad enough!

I have very light, freckled skin which burns very easily and, when i was young, we never bothered with sunscreen so I had many sunburns.  Then my husband and I got a sailboat when we were in our 40's and I stupidly refrained from using sunscreen on cloudy days...I had some horrific sunburns on my face during that time.

All in all, I've had some form of skin cancer on about 10 spots on my face, chest, and arm.  The one on my lip was treated with radiation and that was horrendous, not in pain but in the size of the scab that spread across my lip during treatment.  A few were cut out or sprayed with liquid nitrogen.  And then I had a chemical peel on my face and that was also horrendous.  I looked like someone had used a blowtorch on my face!

Fingers crossed, I haven't had a recurrence in a couple of years but there is one little spot on my chest that probably will need a blast of liquid nitrogen when I see the dermatologist next month.  She feels I don't need to see her twice a year any more but I'm not sure about that.  I'll always have to be on the lookout for suspicious spots and that's my price for not using sunscreen.  I've paid a big price already but I've also been very lucky that the treatments seem to have worked well.

Use sunscreen.  Point out any unusual spot to your family doctor.  Don't bake in the sun!

Doing Laundry

Ever since the advent of permanent pressed fabrics I've loved doing laundry.  I know some people still iron everything regardless but not me, I'm lazy.

I don't know what it is about getting the laundry done that is so satisfying to me but I just love seeing the closet and drawers filled with nice freshly cleaned clothes.  Mind you, I have way too many clothes and could go for months and not run out but I still love to wash what's in the hamper.

Considering I'm not a clean freak about the rest of the apartment...it's neat but not squeaky clean because that would be too much trouble...I do love the smell of freshly washed clothes that have been hung out on the line to dry.  I can only do that at the trailer but it's still nice.

I did vacuum today because the afghan I'm working on is covered in pilling and much of it seems to drop on me and then onto the floor.  I can't stand mess that obvious so it had to go.

Other than one more load of laundry, my work is done for the day and it's only 7:30 A.M.  This is nice!

A Beautiful June Day

It's warm and the sun is shining.  I've had no bad news for a while now and I'm starting to relax.  My family is doing well and that's what counts the most for me.

I believe that June must be the most perfect of months here in Canada.  The weather is usually good to perfect and the flowers are still young and lush.  I love the early autumn months, too, but they just aren't as beautiful as June.

I have lots of memories of Junes of the past.  Gardening was a huge part when I had my house and I still carry the memory of June air on my skin, planting and watering and sitting to admire my work.  Early June was much more relaxing than late June because that's when school ended and the kids stayed home.  I can still picture them playing under the sprinkler, laughing and enjoying their freedom from school for a couple of months.  

Years passed and my girls married and moved away and there was quiet all through June.  I remember a bit of sadness that a very important era had come and gone but, joy of joys, along came grandson #1 on June 7, 1984.  Yes, I do love the month of June!   

It's Always Something

A comedian once said (and wrote a book titled) "It's Always Something".  She was right.  Problems in the family, problems in our city, problems in the world...we can't have a damn day of complete peace!

I'm a worrier by nature and it's a curse.  One niggling little hint of a problem and I immediately go into worry mode.  This involves considering all the possibilities and then trying to convince myself to choose the best one but too often failing.

When I went to the hematologist last week, I sat in the waiting room with a dozen or so patients who almost certainly were suffering from something much more serious than I was.  The lady sitting next to me began a conversation and I mentioned my hope was that the outcome of my visit would be that my CLL was nothing to worry about and that I could go back to having my family doctor monitor it with my regular bloodwork.  In my heart I thought that was a pipe dream but darned if that isn't what happened!  I don't think the good news has completely settled into my worrying little mind, though.  What if there was some kind of mistake?

After all, someone made a mistake when I was diagnosed with a 3.5 cm cyst in my pancreas last November.  Now I'm worrying that my results got mixed up with someone else's and there is someone walking around thinking they're fine but they're the one with the cyst!  A recent MRI and a catscan showed nothing in my pancreas and not even a lymph node that size so how could this happen??

Doctors make mistakes all the time.  The quack doctor I had when I was in my 20's and 30's told me I was pregnant many times when I wasn't.  He told me I had a nerve rash when I actually had chicken pox.  He told me I needed a hysterectomy and a gall bladder removal.  I still have all my innards!  When you think about it, it's a good thing I don't agree to anything quickly and sometimes never at all.

But now I'm going to worry about who the heck is carrying around that 3.5 cm pancreatic cyst and hope it's benign!

Update:  A sigh of relief as I found out one of my male relatives does not have prostate cancer.  He'd had an elevated PSA...kind of embarrassing to find out that having sex elevates your PSA.  He's been told to refrain from sex for at least 5 days before his next test.  I'd been pretty sure he'd be okay but when I got the phone call I fell apart.  Nerves are a funny thing, aren't they?  Anyway, such good news and I'm very thankful! 

Foggy Day

When I wake up to a dense fog like this morning, I first worry about my loved ones driving to work.  If it's this foggy in the lower city, it must be even worse up on the mountain.  I don't like foggy days...they hide the sunlight and the color.

I do believe that reduced visibility like this will almost ensure there will be more car accidents.  If the crazy drivers I saw yesterday are out on the road today, someone will get killed for sure!  I was driving down the Linc and speeding just a little bit but 2 cars passed me like I was standing still.  They not only passed but wove through the traffic like crazy people.  They endangered their own lives but, worse, they endangered every other person on the road.  Plain selfish and stupid!  

May Be Time To Be Vegan

I think about it occasionally, especially when I let myself look at the culture of meat eating and see it for the ugly thing it really is.  I remember visiting family on a farm and hearing them refer to a calf by name and how they planned to butcher it.  I remember feeling amazement and disgust...how can you give an animal a cute name and then eat it?  Logically, it is no different from loving animals and buying their carcass pieces at the grocery store and taking them home for dinner.

I watched a bit of a video today (couldn't stomach to watch more than just a little bit) that got workers at a chicken farm fired for how viciously they treated the poor things.  It just might be enough to put me off meat for good.

What kind of human being...in this case 6 who work together...can convince themselves that torturing a living animal is okay?  How can they look themselves in the mirror?  How can they torture these animals and then go home to their families, posing as a normal human being?

We meat eaters know that the meat comes from once living creatures.  We know we have no right to murder and consume them.  It's interesting how we are able to fool ourselves or to push any shame aside for what we're doing.  Seeing that video has brought my shame to the surface and I hope that's where it stays. 

Sheep

I was thinking today how our government is slipping in new laws that could have a profound effect on our future but no-one seems to be questioning them.  On the surface, the laws seem to have value but you have to look beyond the surface to the ways the government could choose to interpret these laws.  Our young people do not appear to be questioning anything!

It is now against the law for anyone to bash religion...this gives religious leaders enough power to advance in any adverse way they choose.  We know that not all religious leaders are decent, law abiding people...some create cults!

It is now against the law for parents to raise their children according to their beliefs if the child is not a willing participant.  Your 5 year old is now given too much power in the family unit.  Your 5 year old child can now be removed from the home and put in foster care if the parents force them to wear clothes according to their birth sex.  This is probably the scariest law that we sheep have allowed to be passed in a free country.

We also have a law that I fought against for 7 months last year.  Statistics Canada, a government agency, has the right to demand you answer their questions or face fines or jail.  One of their questions is "where do you vacation".  It's starting to sound like a police state and I'm shocked at how few people are even questioning the powers they're handing over to the government.

I believe Stats Canada decided to leave me alone on Jan. 1 (after 300+ calls over the 7 months of 2016) because enough Canadians did stand up to them and refuse to answer their questions.  My family saw no problem with answering them and that fills me with dismay. 

I wish I was smart enough to run for office.  Maybe I could be instrumental in changing the dangerous path our government is on.  But I'm not smart enough or strong enough...I can only hope for someone to come along that I can trust enough to vote for!

Dangerous New Laws In Ontario

No-one blinked an eye or came out raving mad about 2 new laws that proclaim the beginning of tyranny in Ontario.  The first dangerous law passed is that it is now a criminal offense for anyone to speak out against religion.  Frightening to lose our freedom of speech in this way.

The second dangerous law passed is that it will now be considered child abuse if a parent forbids their under-age child to cross dress or declare themselves as the opposite sex from what they were at birth.  This is so scary because it gives the government the right to take away your child if you don't give in to these demands.

What the government is doing is destroying the family unit.  The parents are no longer in control and their children know it.  Based on these terrifying new laws which remove parental rights...they can't spank (I don't but a whack on the bum never caused emotional damage) and now they are forbidden to raise their children according to their own beliefs.  There will be people who decide it isn't worth having children at all if they have no control over them.

What this means is, if you oppose your minor child deciding they want to live as a different gender, your child will be removed from the home.  You don't have to beat them into submission, just refuse to accept their immature demands and you've lost your child.  The child would have no idea that by making demands that their parents oppose, the child will be removed from their home and raised in foster homes.  I wonder how many more street children will be created by this ridiculous law limiting a parent's rights.

I'd like to blame Ontario's premier because she happens to be gay but a whole slew of Canada's politicians support these horrible laws.  It's tough enough for parents who work hard to provide for their children and now they will be, in effect, raising children of the state.

I don't believe any child has the maturity to know whether or not they are gay until they at least reach mid teens.  I do believe some idiot liberal parents are jumping on a bandwagon to prove they are modern thinkers.  Some of these idiots are actually promoting cross dressing in their very young children and probably screwing them up for life.  Now that is child abuse!

Removing and reducing parental rights is leading us to a totalitarian government.  Remember how the LGBT fought hard to keep government out of the bedroom?  And now they are leading the pack in pushing government into the homes of parents and children.  We have to ask ourselves why.  And we have to stop this craziness before it goes any further.  Choose your votes wisely and be very careful who you put in power over you.

Healing Salt Cave

Kim and Cindy took me out for my delayed and surprise Mother's Day present today.  The refused all along to tell me what it was and I worried a lot it was going to be a hot air balloon ride or a helicopter ride...I've often said I'd like to do those things but I am much too scared of heights.  I also laughingly thought they might be taking me to a nursing home but, no, it's a little too early for that.  LOL!

Anyway, they picked me up at 9:30 A.M. and handed me brochures for the "Healing Salt Cave", a spa based on the healing powers of the Himalayan salt mines...I bought a salt lamp a while ago.  I was soooo relieved!

We entered a pretend salt cave, a room with salt floors and salt particles filtered into it.  We had to cover up with blankets because the temperature is kept at about 15 degrees celsius (I think) for an optimum experience.  We talked a lot but I think it would be a perfect place to meditate, too.  Then we went into the sauna which is also not the usual kind.  I'm not sure how to explain it but it also has something to do with the salts. They call it an infrared sauna.  Kim couldn't take the heat and got out first, then Cindy, and then me.  I love saunas!

We finished off in another quiet room where our hands and feet were placed on heated salt slabs designed to remove the toxins from you just as the sauna does.  There were other salt baths that we didn't get and I don't think I want to do that but I might at a later date.

I purchased a salt scrub facial which I'll have next Sunday.  They do the facial and a shoulder massage so that sounds just lovely!

We went to Wendy's for lunch and then over to the store where I bought my salt lamp.  I'd asked the girls if they would like a salt lamp for Christmas and both said yes so they picked out the ones they wanted.  When I went to pay, I discovered I'd left my credit card at home because I was using a smaller and lighter purse for the day.  I'll pick the lamps up tomorrow and give them to the girls...we're all going out for dinner with Lisa and Anna tomorrow.

I really loved today's experience and will most certainly go back there for the sauna and maybe the float treatment.

Back home, I must have been very relaxed from the treatments because I had the longest afternoon nap ever!

Opinions

I guess it's still bugging me how some of the younger generation is afraid of hearing opinions that don't coincide with their own.  I was really shocked when our local university invited speakers and the students shouted them down rather than be civilized and mature enough to listen.  If they didn't want to hear then they shouldn't have attended!

My personal opinions on any subject have changed many times over my lifetime and I'm sure they will continue to change.  The youth of today who believe they have all the right answers are in for a shock as they get older.  They, too, will see the world differently than they do now.

Something I've seen that has changed for the worse is common respect for one another.  I have many friends, relatives, and acquaintances who matter to me but who don't share my opinions on a lot of things.  Do I ignore them or drown them out?  Never!  And that's because I respect their freedom to have their own opinions.  Being respectful is the only way you can have a proper conversation because rudeness turns the conversation ugly.  I will back away from ugliness and disrespect as quickly as I can...I won't forget it but I can get past it if the person matters enough to me.  It will always leave just a little bit of insecurity, though, and that's something that shouldn't be allowed to happen.  

One of my grandsons spoke of anyone whose views don't match his own as "ill informed and ignorant".  Just how far will a person get in this world if their minds are sealed tight against the opinions and beliefs of others?  I think it's arrogant and foolish to go through life with that attitude but he did offer an apology for his thoughtless words so I guess that's an improvement.

I will continue to love my family fiercely and will fight for their freedom of opinion even though it might not be my own.    

Apartment Balcony

I just love the view out my sliding doors.  I've clustered most of the flowers at this end where I can see them but there are a few more along the center of the balcony that you can't see.  Maybe I've gone a little too far with the number of plants but it doesn't matter.  I get a smile on my face ever time I look at them...especially the gorgeous new dahlia I just got!  The last photo is the view I get from chair.

The natural beauty of flowers is good for the soul, at least my soul!

An OMG Evening

Shelley and John surprised me with tickets to the Neil Diamond concert in Toronto, tickets for me and Faye.  I was shocked at the price but thrilled to death to be able to see one of my idols in person.

Faye and I took the go-rain to Toronto (first time for me but Faye had done it before)  and we exited right next door to the Air Canada Center where the concert was being held.  The crowds were massive and of every age but maybe mostly seniors because our dear Neil is 76 years old now.  No-one cared...everyone seemed very excited to be seeing this legend of a man, one who seems to have led an exemplary life with no scandals.

We needed directions everywhere we went but there were always nice people who helped us along...the people who helped us get out go-train passes, the people who directed us to bathrooms, the people who directed us to our seats, and the people who ended up giving us their seats on the go-train home.  In this crazy world of so much negativity, we sailed along in a sea of friendliness and kindness last night.

The concert...OMG!  It was an absolute uproar of screaming fans when Neil Diamond took the stage.  He is adored!  And then he sang...his voice strong and vibrant almost as it was when he was a young man.  Beautiful!  Thousands of fans stood, danced, and sang along to almost every song.  I sang only because the rest of the fans were singing so loudly no-one could hear me.  I could have listened to him sing forever.

Some of the fans were bit of a pain...blocking our view and the whacko girl sitting in front of us who spent most of her time screaming to Neil that she loved him...but we expected all of this and took it in stride.  The whole atmosphere was such a happy one!

Neil Diamond's voice really was amazingly strong right up to the very end when he seemed to tire.  He'd been singing for 2 hours without an intermission so he's forgiven.  It was a little sad to realize the show was over but such a privilege to have been able to see him live.  We could never have afforded those tickets if it hadn't been for the generosity of Shelley and John and I thank them so much!

After the show, masses of people hit the streets and I think most headed for the go-train.  It was there that we discovered no available seats but a lovely couple immediately gave us their seats.  Again, so many good people came our way and added to this remarkable evening.

I stayed overnight at Faye's and we had a gin and tonic and a piece of chocolate cake before going to bed around 1 A.M.

Life is good.  Most people are good.  Thank you again, Shelley and John!   

Bad Day

Can't sleep, feeling misunderstood, feeling sad, wanting to run far away and be by myself forever.  I'll get over it.

We all have days like this when it seems something has gone way wrong and we're not quite sure how it happened.  It's a lost feeling like you've been living a lie...your place in life is not what you thought it was.

Then the days go by and you struggle to find your groove again but it's never what you had.  It's the same but different.  It's such a weird feeling when you're between confidence and confusion, not knowing the truth about anything.  It is not a nice feeling at all.

This isn't anything new to me because I've felt this way many times before.  What's sad is that I will get over it, not completely forget the episode, and come out the other side finding my world a little less safe.  I think we kind of go through life partly blindfolded at times because the glaring truth would be too much to bear.  Right now I feel as though there's a tear in my blindfold and too much truth slipped in.

But life goes on and I will get past this not so good moment.     

CLL Under Control

Well, after having oddball blood reports last October which caused a whole winter and spring to be disrupted with many more tests of every kind, I now know I'm just fine and only something not too serious will kill me.

I had a battery of tests from October to June only to find out that I'm just as healthy as I was last year.  I appreciate that my doctor responded quickly to the first aberrant bloodwork in October and that OHIP paid for all those tests but I'm more than happy to know it was all for nothing.  Better safe than sorry, I guess.

My CLL (a bit too many white blood cells) is still miles away from needing treatment even if it ever does.  The hematologist is a real sweetheart who told me there's no need for me to see him and that I can carry on having my regular bloodwork managed by my family doctor.  If and when the CLL does become troublesome, I can go back to him.

He did tell me something very interesting, though.  He had told me before that treatment isn't considered until your WBC reaches 80 (mine is 22) but he's had patients with a WBC of 300 who were not experiencing any problems so therefore not needing treatment.  I like being well informed and he's always been good about that.

It was a terribly long wait at the hospital yesterday for some reason...my appointment was for 3 P.M. and I didn't get out of there until 6 P.M.  I made a few friends in the waiting room, though, and we laughed a lot at our situation.  Laughter will get you through the worst of times!

Today I get back to my normal life...Swedish weaving afternoon with Faye and Donna.  I'm working on a Christmas table runner and they're both still finishing off afghans they started along, long time ago.  It doesn't matter.  We'll weave, chat and laugh, have tea and eat some kind of yummy that Faye made.

Life is good!

How To Comment on Facebook

I'm pretty sure I have never rudely responded to anyone on Facebook.  Actually, I don't think I do it in person, either, so it surprises me when someone rudely attacks a person whose views they don't happen to agree with.

It just makes more civilized sense to walk away from a conflict that has sunk to rudeness.  I've seen many friendships hurt by people adamantly proving someone wrong and that's not what conversation should be.  We all have our own opinions about every subject on earth and most people will not agree completely.  Let it go.  Walk away before words become daggers.

Being Politically Correct

I cannot even express in words how much I detest the actions of being "politically correct".  To me it means not daring to say or do anything that might offend even one person in the world.  I can't stand these insane and mindless restrictions.

Why has it become verboten to have a dialogue of differing opinions?  Why have we allowed the "politically correct" to prevent us from asking questions?  We are being buried under  a hoard of terrorists who don't even know the concept of being politically correct and we are punished with backlash if we question who they are.

I'm at odds with the most surprising faction...my kind and loving family...who seem to think my questions are prejudicial.  I'm in awe that these very intelligent people think it's odd or nasty to question Islam when it's okay to question just about anything else.  Well, no.  I think it's also politically incorrect to question anything about the LGBT, other people's politics, legal sexual practices, and possibly bathroom practices.  I think this is why we have comedians...they stick their noses up at PC and rightly so!

I have family and friends who hold political and religious beliefs that are completely different from my own and I can talk respectfully with them about it.  I don't feel the need to stifle them, educate them, or insult them.  I am more curious about why they believe as they do.  Heaven knows, none of us are perfect in our personal beliefs.

What totally confuses me is how belligerent some people become with those whose beliefs aren't identical to their own, or those who dare to ask questions.  I know my loved ones are not stupid enough to believe the truth of any situation is always readily available.  Personally, I don't think we citizens ever get the pure truth about anything...and that's why we should ask questions and not be shouted down in our quest.

One of the beautiful things about living in a country where we are blessed with freedom of speech and freedom of the press, is that those are two freedoms we can't live without.  Wars have been fought and soldiers have died and suffered to preserve those freedoms for us so we shouldn't take them lightly.  Having political correctness forced down our throats is an affront to those soldiers.  We don't have to be correct in what we say or think.  We need only to retain the right to our legal beliefs and the right to express them.    

Nick and Bev's Stag and Doe

A party night with family and friends wishing the soon to be married couple the best of luck in their new life!

Song and dance...laughter and love...lots of prizes, too!

Spanking

I spanked my kids.  I did it because it was the societal norm at the time to teach your children they'd done wrong and to deter them from doing wrong again.  I learned with my grandchildren to stop using brute force to discipline them and never really spanked again other than a tap on the butt (but even that is wrong).

It is imperative when raising children to teach them that there are consequences for doing wrong but it sure isn't right for a grown ass adult to start beating on a tiny child under any circumstances.  Once I started thinking for myself instead of following those societal norms, it made perfect sense to use more intelligent methods.

I learned that spanking was abusive when Nick, about 2 years old, didn't do as I told him so I whacked him on the leg.  It was one of those whacks that come out harder than expected and I was immediately ashamed of myself.  Here was a little baby being physically hurt by his 5' 2 1/2" loving Gramma!  I can tell you it was an eye opening moment and it shocked the heck out of me.  What was I doing, for heavens sake!!!!

Some parents have gone way too far in the other direction, gently telling their little "buddy" over and over that their actions are unacceptable but not taking enough steps to stop the behavior.  Kids are smart and they immediately identify when they have power over their parents.  Too soft parents usually raise bratty kids.

I honestly began to get a better result by using "time out" where the child can sit quietly and reconsider his/her behavior and if it was worth having to be shunned for short time.  A short time (1 minute per year of age...3 minutes for a 3 year old) is an eternity for a busy little child and quite unpleasant for them.  If that doesn't work and the child is unruly, send them to bed for a nap.  Just think of what hitting them would teach them...it teaches them to hit.

One of my Facebook friends also said it is important to send your children to church but I raised 3 absolutely wonderful daughters without "churching" them.  I taught them good values.  I sure wish I'd never hit them, though, but what is done is done and it can't be undone.

At least I learned better.  Too bad I didn't learn it before whacking my poor little Nick.

Casino With Dee and Norma

It was supposed to be a group of 5 going to the casino yesterday but Mary had a home problem, Faye had her granddaughter's graduation, and Donna had a health problem.  None of these things were serious but it kept them from going with us.

Norma lives nearby so she drove with me and Dee, who lives across the border, met us at the casino.  These are two very special friends I might never have met if it wasn't for vacationing at 3W.  They are special people in my life and I think the world of them.

Dee and I are hard core gamblers but Norma can take it or leave it.  She spent much of the day walking around outside or just sitting out and people watching.  We all met for our buffet lunch and spent a good long time chatting before we went back to the slots.  These are smart and fun ladies and I just love being with them!

Our departure was planned for 4 P.M. so we went with Dee to her car and she drove us back to mine where we unpacked 3 huge garment bags of my clothes from the trailer into my car.  Dee brought them up for me last summer when I thought my 3W days were over but she forgot her passport and has been storing them for me ever since.  

If I get to winter at 3W this year, I won't leave any clothes there because one never knows when it's their last winter, does one?  Any way, Dee is such a kind and helpful lady to have gathered them up and brought them to me.

We said our goodbyes with kisses and hugs and promised to meet again this summer at the casino.  I am so blessed to have good people like this in my life!

Let The Fun Begin

This is the start of a weekend of celebration for Nick and Bev's upcoming wedding.  Tonight we'll have a huge family restaurant dinner with surprise guests...I won't say just in case one of my family reads this blog.  Then it's back to Cindy and Don's house for a get-together...by the way, the weather is perfect today and we'll all be able to sit out in their beautiful back yard!

Tomorrow Cindy is picking me up (this will be a weekend of me needing a driver) and taking me to her house for dinner and then going to the stag and doe.  We, as a family, are so thrilled with Bev and how she makes our Nick so very happy.  She is a true ray of sunshine.

Sunday will be brunch at Kim's before all the family heads home for a bit of a rest before work day Monday.  I love my family!